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polywog

By polywog
in Coping

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Ally1993 Member

Ally1993

Posted
Posted

Saw you today, you looked amazing as usual. I hate the awkward eye contact we have and how I had to walk straight past you like I didn't even know you. It hurt. The whole situation hurts.

Just wana talk to you so bad but I have to remain strong and do NC

Only you can make this pain go away

Please baby.

Keep listening to mirrors - Justin timberlake. It's always been my fav song, even when we was together but now I understand the meaning

I need you. Please.

sickoflove11 Established Member

sickoflove11

Posted
Posted

Todays your 21st birthday and I always thought we would share it together but oh well. Obviously I was going to say happy birthday to you. Why did you have to send me like a million snap chats saying how much you missed me, how you reealllyy missed me and you missed my smile. My smile is awful, you don't miss my smile. You're drunk.

 

I didn't think the snaps would ever stop honestly… I didn't even open them. Eventually I did and wished you a happy birthday and it was like that was all you wanted from me? If it was you didn't have to snap chat a million times. What was the point in that? I guess to make me feel how I am now. Which is more annoyed than anything.

 

I'm over you but sometimes I wish we could be normal friends. You seem to only want attention when you're bored or drunk.. waste of my time. bye.

Notbugme Member

Notbugme

Posted
Posted

wow, I know for certain that it is my sum of all situations make me feel like this. And I know for certain too, i really do miss you. Every situation I am bored a thought of you coming and make me feel like empty human. I really want to call you and just say hi and we will make out as we did it before. But I do remember I was that person made the final decision. I do regret my decision and sometimes you were too much for me. I tried to help you to find a happiness in your life. But sometime I could sometime I couldn't. The problem is that I know in the long run you are not good for me but my ego says otherwise. When I'm alone I want to pick up the phone and say Hi, but i know it will hurt me and maybe you too. I hope with time everything will be different. I hope so. I know I always care about you, but not now. I can't. Every thought of you makes my body numb. I can't not continue like this. And people are saying everything will be ok. I just want to say #### you. I hate this feelings. but it's part of life. I hope I'm doing well today. yes I'm sorry i sent you that text. It was hurtful. I'm sorry and I will never contact you again. I hope you can forgive me. bc I dared not to contact you right now. the cost is too hight just call you say I am sorry.

Ally1993 Member

Ally1993

Posted
Posted

Miss you more than words can explain...

Not feeling too good today, need your big strong arms to protect me and your kisses to make me better

  • Like 1
JoelBarish Established Member

JoelBarish

Posted
Posted

I was laying here trying to meditate but you popped into my head. I thought about some of the things that happened between us before the breakup and I know for a fact you lied.

 

I'm very angry at you. I should have expressed that anger to your face. I won't do it now though. I won't give you the satisfaction of knowing that your still in my thoughts.

Ally1993 Member

Ally1993

Posted
Posted

Keep over thinking everything and it's driving me insane. Keep thinking your getting close to your sisters best friend. She looks like me but is way prettier and you've been hanging out with your sister and her group of friends a lot lately, that's why I'm thinking it.

I can't keep doing this, I have never ever felt so down before in my whole entire life when I've been through much worse (death in the family) so I don't even understand myself why 5 months on I still cry myself to sleep and have you constantly in my thoughts.

I hate not talking to you, hate not being a part of your life, I hate myself for not being good enough for you and I hate you because I love you so much and I'd do anything for you.

Take this pain away, please

mangetout Established Member

mangetout

Posted
Posted

Oh so now you want to friend zone me?! Does that make the break up easier for you? No way are you getting anything from me any longer.

 

YOU LOST THAT PRIVILEGE WHEN YOU BROKE UP WITH ME! I am not taking your scraps. I know it hurts you that you will never see me again. Well tough!!! Why should I have all the heartache?

 

You can feel some pain from this break up too. I hope you do because you lost out on a great woman here. You will be lucky to find another as loyal and loving as me.

 

Me loving you was wasting my time. I thought you were the one but I was wrong. It's time I loved someone right

The Situation Established Member

The Situation

Posted
Posted (edited)

We're talking again. Like we used to, with snippets of catching up with life. I feel like the luckiest person alive. All my feelings for you are confirmed, I'm crazy about you, and if the time becomes right, I will tell you. You've thanked me for getting in touch, and said it'd been too long. I dare say you've missed me like I've missed you, but I won't make assumptions and will tread very carefully this time. I want to establish a friendship with you, see if the attraction's really still there...

 

...And if it is, I'm ready. I'm finally ready, and there's no one else that makes me feel like this. If when I see you (really looking forward to that!) it all clicks as before but without the mess around me, I'm going for it. In for the long haul. I want to make you feel special because you are special.

 

I still believe there are lots of 'the ones' and we will all have a few cracks at it to get it right, but no one else makes me feel as complete as you. I think this is actually love, which I've never really experienced. It excites me that it's now possible that I could tell you that one day. Maybe not now or next week, but when it's right and makes sense.

 

And if it's not you, then simply being on good terms is all I could've wished for anyway. I will never forget the low points I've had without you in my life, and I swear, it will never happen again.

 

I'm here for you.

 

-------------------

 

Sorry guys, had to spill that one out. Things are finally looking up after only accepting last week that it didn't matter any more.

 

If there's a chance you can reconcile, please give it a chance and give it time and give him / her space. 11 months 'out' for me, and my feelings only grew the whole time. I've got lucky to even get a few conversations, it could be a flash in the pan.

 

However, never give up hope. Either that things can't be fixed, or that you won't find somebody else instead. It will happen. It's very very hard, but eventually you will see things positively, no matter what.

 

Allow time to berate and kick yourself for mistakes. Wallow in your misery. Cry. Speak to close friends about it. Let it all out.

 

BUT! Eventually you won't feel like that, and everything will fall into place, one way or another. Give yourself time, push yourself to do things you know beneath your heartbreak are good for you and that you really enjoy. Repeat repeat repeat until you begin to like yourself.

 

It's a cliché, but you must learn to love yourself first, otherwise you cannot fix anything. Only more misery will ensue and make things worse.

 

I don't know what's around the corner, and I don't know for sure what she thinks of the future and whether I feature at all in her mind. All I know is that right now, all my demons are defeated. I feel great. Only the hope of making my current temp job permanent is a loose end, and even then I'm not afraid of my path changing.

 

It might not seem like it now, but one way or another, YOU WILL ALL MAKE IT.

 

This forum has played a part in this recovery, so thank you those that have supported me, and I won't even wish good luck to you, because luck will come your way anyway. I promise.

Edited by The Situation
  • Like 4
LostConfused123 Established Member

LostConfused123

Posted
Posted

I'm beginning to love you less and love myself more.

 

I'm also beginning to see that this is your loss, not mine.

 

LOL!!! dumb ass!!!

Notbugme Member

Notbugme

Posted
Posted

I'm tormented right now. I am thinking about what I did to you. I am shamed of my self. Why did I do that. During the process I forgot what I've learned and now the life teaching me a lesson. I really do hate it. I'm sorry what I did to you. I can't go back in the past and changed it. I wish I could. But I've to learn the lesson and move on. It's hard. My soul is in the abyss and just waiting to call me. But I know it will never happened. Because we hurt each other. I hope everything will be ok soon. Bc I don't have energy left to fight those thoughts and they are overwhelming me right now. I wish I could call you right now. Maybe tomorrow and maybe not.

Ally1993 Member

Ally1993

Posted
Posted

I didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you so

I should've held on tight, I never should've let you go

I didn't know nothing, I was stupid, I was foolish

I was lying to myself

 

I could not fathom I would ever be without your love

Never imagined I'd be sitting here beside myself

'Cause I didn't know you, 'cause I didn't know me

But I thought I knew everything

I've never felt

 

The feeling that I'm feeling now that I don't hear your voice

Or have your touch and kiss your lips 'cause I don't have a choice

Oh, what I wouldn't give to have you lying by my side

Right here, 'cause baby

(We belong together)

 

When you left I lost a part of me (Together)

It's still so hard to believe

(Come back, come back)

Come back baby, please

(Come back, come back)

'Cause we belong together

 

Who else am I gon' lean on when times get rough (Ooooooh yeah)

Who's gonna talk to me on the phone till the sun comes up (Oooooh yeah)

Who's gonna take your place, there ain't nobody better (Oooooooh yeah)

Oh, baby baby, we belong together

 

I can't sleep at night when you are on my mind

Bobby Womack's on the radio singing to me:

"If you think you're lonely now"

Wait a minute this is too deep (too deep)

I gotta change the station so I turn the dial

Trying to catch a break and then I hear Babyface:

"I only think of you", and it's breaking my heart

I'm trying to keep it together but I'm falling apart

 

I'm feeling all out of my element

I'm throwing things, crying

Trying to figure out where I went wrong

The pain reflected in this song ain't even half of what I'm feeling inside

I need you, need you back in my life, baby

(We belong together)

 

When you left I lost a part of me (Together)

It's still so hard to believe

(Come back, come back)

Come back baby, please

(Come back, come back)

'Cause we belong together

 

Who else am I gon' lean on when times get rough (Ooooooh yeah)

Who's gonna talk to me on the phone till the sun comes up (Oooooh yeah)

Who's gonna take your place, there ain't nobody better (Oooooooh yeah)

Oh, baby baby, we belong together baby! (We belong together)

 

When you left I lost a part of me (Together)

(Oooooooh yeah)

It's still so hard to believe

(Come back, come back)

Come back baby, please (Oooooooh yeah)

(Come back, come back)

'Cause we belong together

 

Who else am I gon' lean on when times get rough (Ooooooh yeah)

Who's gonna talk to me till the sun comes up (Ooooooh yeah)

Who's gonna take your place, there ain't nobody better (Oooooooh yeah)

Oh, baby baby, we belong together!

 

 

 

These lyrics express my feelings. I need you so bad

Miggy New Member

Miggy

Posted
Posted

It's been 29 days since you left me, telling me it was my fault as I was depressed.

I then was able to catch you booking into a hotel 9 days later with someone new.

You went bright red still stating it was my fault.

You have know. This person for 1month but you still thought it better to leave me for them after we had only been married for less than 3 months.

 

I think it's a case of the grass is greener.

I hope the grass turns to moss.

You have never tried contacting me since you left.

No sorry I lied

No how are you feeling

 

I'm in NC now and going to counselling. I will be a better person for you leaving me...I don't think you will ever be a better person.

 

10 NC and feeling a little better and have stopped blaming myself.

 

You gutter snipe

lamis Established Member

lamis

Posted
Posted

I realized today that I'm probably never going to see you again. After we communicate exactly when I'm going to get my stuff from you we probably won't ever talk again either. Just 4 days ago you were my fiancée. You were the most central person in my life. Nothing was better than being with you, than talking to you. You were My rock. My anchor. You had been for more than two years. You were my future wife. We were going to have a beautiful wedding in the mountains. You were the future mother of our children that we talked about so much.

 

 

But I didn't make you happy anymore no matter what I did. I still don't know why. You said I didn't do anything wrong. And maybe I didn't, but I can't help but wonder if I had done something differently, I could have made you happy.

 

 

Now you're nothing. You're just a memory. It is so damn hard to cope with that loss. I learned from our relationship though, and that's good. I learned not to get so consumed by my relationships, like this one consumed me for 2.5 years. It seemed good at the time, but when the dust settles it turns out I have very little support in place because I didn't take the time to maintain friendships or anything else because I had you. I also learned that perhaps in the future I should more actively ask my significant other to look inward on themselves more often, so a revelation like yours about your feelings doesn't come out of nowhere. Of course, maybe that's just one of your many quirks. I loved the other ones, but not that one so much.

 

 

I also learned that maybe never fighting isn't such a good thing. I thought it meant that we were super compatible, and maybe it did - at the time. But once problems emerged we had absolutely no skills for dealing with them, because we'd never had them before.

 

 

I also learned never to do long distance again. Even though we didn't start that way, my decision to come over here really made things difficult and probably helped lead to the problems that we couldn't figure out how to solve.

 

 

I wish we could have held on. I'll be home for good in 3 months. We made it 8. Why couldn't we go for 3 more?

 

 

I know you are probably hurting too, and I hope you're ok. I hope it isn't as bad for you as it is for me. At least you have your family around you, I know they'll help you. I won't see mine for another few weeks, when I come back to the US on a trip when we were supposed to look at wedding venues.

 

 

I called and canceled those appointments today.

 

 

I miss our dog. I'll miss being her daddy.

 

 

I love you. I hope you find happiness in your future.

AnyaNova Established Member

AnyaNova

Posted
Posted
We're talking again. Like we used to, with snippets of catching up with life. I feel like the luckiest person alive. All my feelings for you are confirmed, I'm crazy about you, and if the time becomes right, I will tell you. You've thanked me for getting in touch, and said it'd been too long. I dare say you've missed me like I've missed you, but I won't make assumptions and will tread very carefully this time. I want to establish a friendship with you, see if the attraction's really still there...

 

...And if it is, I'm ready. I'm finally ready, and there's no one else that makes me feel like this. If when I see you (really looking forward to that!) it all clicks as before but without the mess around me, I'm going for it. In for the long haul. I want to make you feel special because you are special.

 

I still believe there are lots of 'the ones' and we will all have a few cracks at it to get it right, but no one else makes me feel as complete as you. I think this is actually love, which I've never really experienced. It excites me that it's now possible that I could tell you that one day. Maybe not now or next week, but when it's right and makes sense.

 

And if it's not you, then simply being on good terms is all I could've wished for anyway. I will never forget the low points I've had without you in my life, and I swear, it will never happen again.

 

I'm here for you.

 

-------------------

 

Sorry guys, had to spill that one out. Things are finally looking up after only accepting last week that it didn't matter any more.

 

If there's a chance you can reconcile, please give it a chance and give it time and give him / her space. 11 months 'out' for me, and my feelings only grew the whole time. I've got lucky to even get a few conversations, it could be a flash in the pan.

 

However, never give up hope. Either that things can't be fixed, or that you won't find somebody else instead. It will happen. It's very very hard, but eventually you will see things positively, no matter what.

 

Allow time to berate and kick yourself for mistakes. Wallow in your misery. Cry. Speak to close friends about it. Let it all out.

 

BUT! Eventually you won't feel like that, and everything will fall into place, one way or another. Give yourself time, push yourself to do things you know beneath your heartbreak are good for you and that you really enjoy. Repeat repeat repeat until you begin to like yourself.

 

It's a cliché, but you must learn to love yourself first, otherwise you cannot fix anything. Only more misery will ensue and make things worse.

 

I don't know what's around the corner, and I don't know for sure what she thinks of the future and whether I feature at all in her mind. All I know is that right now, all my demons are defeated. I feel great. Only the hope of making my current temp job permanent is a loose end, and even then I'm not afraid of my path changing.

 

It might not seem like it now, but one way or another, YOU WILL ALL MAKE IT.

 

This forum has played a part in this recovery, so thank you those that have supported me, and I won't even wish good luck to you, because luck will come your way anyway. I promise.

 

I am very happy for you. Read this, though on the upswing but not fully recovered for a now infrequent b vitamin crash (caused by an all nighter).

 

So since everything's not in balance this really made me sad. I wish even on my best days that my ex and I could at least be friends. But usually I am fine with the fax that he clearly desires no such thing.

 

Reading this today, though, made me a little sad. Made me at least wonder what would or could have happened if he had t have had mono and I would have had my b vitamin deficiency and nutriton stuff even semi ironed out (I mean at least I could have articulated to him what was happening when I crashed).

 

I guess in the end analysis, no matter what I thought I read or perceived from him, I cared more about him than he did me. He certainly doesn't seem interested in talking or even being friends.

 

You all would be amazed what b vitamins do for your perception of events. In a couple days when my levels are cometsly righted again ill be too busy living my own life and enjoying it to think to much about him or what he's doing

 

But yes, I am glad for you. I hope it works out. I am also sad for all those for whom it didn't.

AnyaNova Established Member

AnyaNova

Posted
Posted

Apologies for the now un-editable typos above. Was on my phone and didn't see them.

Snow101 Member

Snow101

Posted
Posted (edited)

I just know if i sent this it would bounce right off her indifference and dead heart so I post it here...........

 

I love you _________ I miss you ______

 

I wish you would see that nobody on this earth knows you like me. Nobody on this whole damn world would love you, cherish you, or respect you more than me. I love you so freaking much, I would do anything for you. Need my last dollar ? It's yours. I'll take a bullet for you, here's my kidney, here's my time- anything for you.

 

Was I perfect? No. Did I make mistakes ? Yes. But so did you. But I never ever wanted to hurt you or make you sad ever, and I always had the best of intentions.

 

I see you, I see the good and the bad and everything in between, and still at the end of the day I adore you. Nobody compares to you, I think you are the greatest woman alive, the smartest, coolest, most beautiful. You win by a landslide in every category that exists and some that don't.

 

I thought soul mates was a bs concept before you...but now you're gone so how can it be true? How can you just leave me and us and drop everything like it was nothing? I'm dying every day and I don't feel any better, months later. It's tearing me apart ...

 

Please come back to me. Open your heart again and let the shields down. Lets try it again and do things the right way. Lets learn from our mistakes and do everything better, I know we can. I love you, still after everything.

Edited by Snow101
  • Like 2
Ally1993 Member

Ally1993

Posted
Posted

You know how much I love and miss you.

Deep down I do still hope your gonna come back to me cos I know I was the best girlfriend you could possibly ask for and we had some amazing memories.

But I'm not going to wait forever, hope you realise soon what you've lost cos I can guarantee no one will love you as much as I did

lamis Established Member

lamis

Posted
Posted

In two weeks I'll be coming to get my stuff from your apartment. We were supposed to be solidifying our wedding plans during that trip, so this is not exactly the big life change I was expecting to deal with during this trip back to the states.

 

 

It is going to be hard to land in a city where we have so many memories and take a cab at an airport you have picked me up at so many times when I came back from research trips.

 

 

I dread finding something in your apartment that belongs to another man.

But I think even if there is such a thing you would probably hide it to protect me.

 

 

I love you, and hope you are doing ok with everything.

Ally1993 Member

Ally1993

Posted
Posted

It's late at night. I'm in bed alone and now my thoughts are focused on you. Wondering what your doing, how your feeling, how your coping with the breakup... Have you met someone else? Are you thinking about me? Do you even care about me?

 

Damn I hate late nights. Worst time of the day because it's over-thinking time

  • Like 1
LostConfused123 Established Member

LostConfused123

Posted
Posted

Almost 5 months.

I still love you. I really wish I was holding you right now and feeling you breathe.

 

Oh, by the way, I quit smoking. It's so easy compared to giving you up.

 

Goodnight. Sleep well baby.

  • Like 2
mangetout Established Member

mangetout

Posted
Posted

You were so not worth being with me. You were I lucky I hung around after everything you put me through...very lucky. I should have dumped you the day you cheated on me.

 

Behaving like a bad boy in your forties. Shame on you. Shame on you for hurting me. Cheating on your fiancé is disgusting!

 

So maybe you are relieved because you can start fresh again. Well you start a new relationship but you will never forget the hurt you gave me. Never. It will never leave your mind till the day you die.

 

Have as many girlfriends as you like but I will always be the one you wanted to marry. The one you wanted to grow old with. The one relationship you ripped to shreds because of a stupid mistake. Hope you can sleep at night

Notbugme Member

Notbugme

Posted
Posted

Why is so hard. I'm trying to let you go but it's hard. I doing stuff I don't do and I do everything what I can do. It doesn't make any sense anymore. But My stocmach is left sore and I can sleep better now. I hope I can vanish ASAP Bc I don't have time for this ****. People say just take your time and everything will be ok. Ok what. I'm stuck in desolate place and you are there. I'm doing my best to get out of here. I feel lost with or without you. I am not sure. Anyway good bye again. Arg I don't know how many times I need to say this.

  • Like 1
Ally1993 Member

Ally1993

Posted
Posted

It's so hard seeing you all the time at work and not being able to even talk to you never mind holding you and kissing you.

Find it hard the days I see you

I know the last time we spoke I told you I was going to cut you out of my life and never want to talk to you again. Wish it didn't come to that but deep down I know this solution is best, it's killing me but it's for the best for my sake

I miss you

Hope your well

mangetout Established Member

mangetout

Posted
Posted

God I miss you today

swfc_77 Established Member

swfc_77

Posted
Posted

I'm sorry that what I offered turned out not to be of your liking.

 

It was good enough for 3 years until I finally admit I cannot carry you and need support in achieving the kids and house you said you wanted, which was hard for a proud man like me.

 

I hope you don't feel a fraction of the pain that I have had to feel in the last month or 2, it's not a good feeling when everyone I know is celebrating your new life and the 1 person who really cared for you is left in the cold without a second thought.

 

I feel ashamed I ever got with you and a little embarrassed of our relationship.

 

Your family won, I hope they are proud, I know how they won it was a dirty victory, we both know it.

 

The only pleasures I take from this is I don't have to put up with your mother and your sister for the rest of my life.

 

I know my family can hold there heads up high, and I will too, in time

 

I am on the floor, bleeding out a lot, I have taken one hell of a beating, for what, I do not know.

 

But I look forward to the day, it will come, where I can stand up look you square on in the face and say **** you

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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