Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[JourneyLady]

I've been very much okay about it for a long time now. Not sorry to lose your negative a**, trying to forgive the mess you made of my plans, etc.

 

Today though, I was looking for things to do and found a spa down south online... I started watching the video and there was all this massage going on -- just the same way I used to do yours. Thumbs brushing the eyelids and eyebrows, hands across the face, pressing down on the back...

 

And I suddenly felt as if I couldn't breathe and was gasping for air, as well as starting to cry. I know it's partly because I haven't had much physical contact with anyone in so long. But also because those movements, as well as your body, is pretty much embedded in my memory forever. Five years of doing that pretty much every day and it's hard to forget when I see similar things.

 

I really wish I hadn't taken so long to see what you really were.

[matt_1987]

why is it so hard to let you go? I know I took you for granted but now I desperately want you back...and I can't. you are out there living a happy life, and I am stuck in this mess. sometimes I feel I am ok, but tonight I am f***ed up...I cant stop crying and I feel so empty and lonely without you. please come back...I miss you...I don't want to be without you, it's killing me...

 

please make this pain go away....please....I am not ready to let you go...I am not...

[JoelBarish]

Hello R, long time no speak.

 

There is something I want to tell you. The relationship we had was a great source of happiness in my life. Now that you are in my past I want you to know that I'm happy without you. Though you brought much joy into my life, I was not happy with myself. I am much happier with who I am now, with my income, with my living situation. I know that you would say you are proud of me. I do want you to be happy too and I don't just mean relationship-wise. I hope you find inner peace.

 

I don't regret one single thing with you. I loved the time we were together. I know that I tried my best. It ended the only way that it could have and I am glad to move on since it wasn't going to last. Like I said, no regrets

[LostConfused123]

You're an insecure pussy!

[JaneDoe27]

Yesterday you dumped me by text message. Again. This was the third time. I know you were having an anxiety attack. I know you have had a terrible week. But, I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me you don't care about me at all. Tell me you don't want me. For the last long while everything has been wonderful. You were thoughtful. You always wanted to be with me. You told me how much you cared about me and told me everything was "perfect".

How can you just switch off your feelings? I can't. Now the waiting begins. The other times you dumped me, it took you 2 or 3 days before you came back. Said it was a mistake. Wanted to try again. So I just tried to relax with you. Be supportive and show my love and caring. Put no pressure on you.

Will you come back this time? And if you do, will I be able to forgive you? I really do understand that it's all about your anxiety. At least I want to think that because it means it's not really a rejection of me. It would mean that you don't really think I am unattractive and unlovable.

After a while, even the stupidest person gets tired of being kicked around though.... I wish I didn't love you so much. I wish I had some pride.

[AnyaNova]

Oh sweetie.

 

Are you waiting to see if I have a temper tantrum about the delay before accepting the friend request?

 

It is ok. I understand. I really loathe sometimes what the vitamin deficiency did to my brain. If that is what you need to see, that I am different and that I won't freak out, I completely understand and hope that you forgive me.

 

Take as long as you need to decide.

 

I meant it when I said that I hope that you are happy.

[JoelBarish]

Just laying here trying to get my head clear of you.

 

You know that I never meant to upset you. That was never my intention. I would have stuck by you through thick and through thin. I would have adored you every day. You were the apple of my eye. You were the light in my darkness. I never wanted to lose you.

 

I will never understand what happened. I will never comprehend how we had a truly wonderful thing and you felt the need to destroy it. That riddle shall haunt me until my dying day.

 

You will never be rid of me you know. I will be with you always. I will forever be the voice in your head, the twinkle in your eye and the hole in your heart.

[sleeplessinslc]

You filthy son of a bitch.

 

How dare you tell me you're not ready to be in a relationship and then get back with your ex gf just a few days after?

 

You're a pathetic, compulsive liar! I pity your kids. They're stuck with an immature, stupid , ****ty father. I wish their mother raises them well. Yes, the mother you cheated on- while she was pregnant. WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT! You sneaked out and ****ed someone you met off the internet while your wife was pregnant!

 

I cannot believe how stupid and desperate I was to take all your ****.

 

You and your ho of a girlfriend deserve each other. You caught her in bed ****ing her boss - her married boss - and then you get back with her still-- with a woman you said you don't see a future with! Liar!

 

You are a joke! I regret meeting you. I wish I had never gotten back with you when I called it off the first time. That was the biggest mistake ever.

 

You're 37 years old with a seasonal job. You bum around in the summer when school's out and you have no work to do. You're so poor you can't even afford to be tested for STDs your whorish gf might have given you! You can't even afford to get your cavities filled! And you wear a friggin flapper - you can't afford a friggin crown! I wasted 6 months of my life on white trash. Yuck!

 

You make me sick!

[lop98]

It's been a year, I haven't felt the need to be in this thread pretending you want to hear how I feel for many months. I have found happiness, more sadness and happiness again during that time. I fell in love. I wasn't scared anymore, you burned every ghost that stopped me from crossing that river and being by your side. I was so ready to fully love, but I was and still am, scared of you.

 

A year ago you went to her. For a long time I felt this pain in my chest, this headache that would keep me awake trying to understand why, all your friends knew you loved me, I knew in my heart how much you did and how much it all hurt you, I was trying so bad to fix it all, but you didn't want to try anymore, except with someone new. I questioned your values to deceive people this way, I questioned our entire relationship, our friendship of many years... it felt so dirty and fake, but more than that, it was just something that truly shocked me in every way, I created all these obsessive thoughts trying to identify moments, actions, words that could give away what had happened and how I had lost you, and why you kept acting like you still cared, why the cruelty of leading me on. I was like sedated all these months, with pain and sadness over how nothing would ever be the same. My brain felt flooded with tears, I couldn't eat or think or dream anymore. I wanted you.

 

He entered my life the way sun does after a storm... he really did. The tears began to dry. He made me smile once and then, before I knew it, I was laughing for days, his voice was this medicine that cleared up all the fog and helped me see you, him, myself, what I still had, it reminded me of everything I dreamed about, of things I wanted to share, of all the love I was still able to express... for a moment I thought I'd never be able to love like this again, but it was possible and it was better and I could not believe the brilliance and beauty of life, how it was so clear that I had to experience a separation like ours in order to face my ghosts, defeat them and be able to truly embark on something like this.

 

Your memory began to fade too. Yes, mostly I forced myself to forget about it but it was also tiring... why think of someone that mostly inflicted pain in my life? why think of someone that doesn't care?. I was already moving on, but one thing made it hard: I couldn't forgive you. I couldn't hide everything under the rug and keep on walking, that wasn't me.

 

I let you back in after a year... removed all my trenches... it was uncomfortable and emotional but as we started talking, I was proud and happy to realize this sick love I had for you was gone. I wanted to hear your stories, about your girl, what you do now, I wanted to share all these thoughts on my new life, all these things that are happening to me, the way we always did... as friends for all these years. But it made you cry, and you hate me now.

 

What can I say.... I have no way of explaining why I gave that step with him and not with you, safety, love, peace, it's hard to say, you just know it. You asked me if he makes me happy. I said he does and it's the truth but we will never have this magic you and I had, and it's okay, because that magic almost killed me.

 

I know you hate the way life is. Sometimes I do too. It also makes me hopeful, because love like ours is something to treasure when you find it, it exists!, and you have barely some minutes to grab it and keep it, the chance never comes back again. We were stupid and too proud for it, so it went with the tides....

 

I wish I could hold you tightly in my arms and tell you how you will always live in my heart. You're the love of my life, my soulmate. But I cannot love you again... I'm never going try.

[Ally1993]

Miss you baby, I'm just hoping and praying you'll find those feelings you had for me when we was together. You meant the world to me and still do.

Remember how we fell in love with each other only after a week of dating? I know deep down there's still some feelings there, just tell me baby please. I can't keep feeling like this any longer.

I love you so much... Forever and always

Edited March 11, 2014 by Ally1993

[MajorOak]

We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.

 

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow together, a real connection that can only be cultivated between two people, when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

 

 

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and cured by both.

 

With all that said, I still can't get my head around how quickly you turned it all off after 27 years, I'm in real pain now sweatie.

[redbaron005]

You call yourself a free spirit, a 'wild thing,' and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.

 

Darling, you broke my heart. I forgive you and don't expect forgiveness for my wrongs. I want for you to be happy; hope, one day, that you find a way to break down that cage and follow that heart of yours.

[Jiivy]

We had 7 years together, we were engaged, would be getting married this year if you never left me.

 

In hindsight I think I always knew I loved you more than you loved me. I always made the effort, I was always the one pushing to keep on trying while you seemed to let things slip a little away.

 

I want you back, sweetheart you broke me down and put me lower than I've ever been before. You did all of that to me, slowly stopped showing me that you really cared and yet still I'm completely captivated by your light. How am I so stupid?

 

You're an increadible woman, the most beautiful and sensual I've ever known. You're damaged too - I see that, and I deserve better than to love someone who doesn't love me as much back. So why can't I move on? why can't I say no? I hold on to our past in all of its heat and idolize the affection we used to have. I see it now. You gave me something back towards the end...sometimes, but I always knew it was too one sided. I hope that you find just how much you've lost in me. I hope you find that you had the best you'd ever get and you didn't give enough - you left me. I hope you realise this and it brings all that I ever did for you justice.

 

Come find me sweetheart. Come find me before my heart hardens forever.

Edited March 12, 2014 by Jiivy

[Ally1993]

Dreamt about you last night

Every morning I wake up hoping and praying I have a text from you saying what I want you to say (that you regret breaking up with me and you want to give things another go) but it's hopeless cos I know I'll never get it

Words can't describe how much I miss you holding me, kissing me, protecting me. I'd do anything to get you back and you know it

It's been 5 long painful months without you baby. Why don't you miss me? Why don't you love me?

I tried everything possible to make us work.

So much has happened in my life the past month that I want to share with you but I'm being strong and not contacting you.

Just call me baby please, I just want to hear your voice so bad

[NomiMalone]

I can't stop thinking about you. Please call me.

[RDawg]

Law. I hope you are fricken miserable. I hope you never find love again.

[Notbugme]

Notbugme

New Member

 

Join Date: Mar 2014

F me I broke NC after 3 weeks. I broke up With her and still contacted her. She had doubts in relationship and that killed my belief in relatiomship. But i still miss her and i contacted her. She said it was The right decions to move on but i want her back. I dont know if it is my ego or i really do miss her. However i feel weak now. I dont know What i should do, and I know I will get my depression now.

[love1336x]

Hmm I sorta wish I knew what I did wrong to you....

I mean... you used to text me every month.

Now, I get nothing.

 

I guess it's a good thing. I mean we are not together anymore , but it was nice to know you was thinking about me.

[mangetout]

I gave you EVERYTHING. Even stood by you when you were on the floor and struggled to get up. I stood by you because I was your fiancé!! I gave you nothing but LOVE!! Lucky you to have met me!!

 

And where are you now? Where are you when I need you the most.

 

Yeah you have run off like a selfish person you are.

 

Thanks for this pain you have given me. I really deserved this didn't I .

 

God damn you

[BradJacobs]

I loved you. You broke my heart.

 

And now I'm moving on.

 

Goodbye.

[mangetout]

And NO I WONT give in and contact you like I have in the past. No more pleading asking for you back! You get NO MORE of me!!

[Notbugme]

Why did I waste two years of my life. I did help you when you needed help and I helped you when you were down. I did everything and still tolerated your mental abuse. I hoped that with time you will be better. But it was false hope. I realized I did mistake and I can't get back my two years. When I needed you the most you were first to go away. I know you will burn in hell, why you asked me. BC you are selfish person and doesn't deserve happiness in your life. I know you will get sick one day and all the people around will discover you are a worthless person and they will leave you. Then you will realize you are a person will die alone. Just burn in hell.

[uku383]

I miss you. I love you. I wish you love me.

[Ally1993]

Missing you like crazy today, I love you so much, just want you to feel the same so bad. Just want to share everything new and exciting that's happening in my life... Want to show you pics of my new nephew and take you for a drive in my new car.

Need you baby, please contact me

[Jiivy]

I guess deep down I always knew I gave more than I got. I was always the one to call. I was always the one to make the big sacrifices...I loved everything that you were and gave you all I had - you inspired me to better myself in so many way, but you never found inspiration in me.

 

I think you only ever loved that I loved you...I don't know.

 

I wonder if you think about me now that you've left. I wonder if you miss the feeling of having someone so invested in your well being. How is your new guy now? Does he give you what I gave? I wonder if you know what exactly you threw away.