Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[TF1975]

I keep reading what I wrote a few moments ago and it makes me feel so bad. So bad that I could sum up three years of my life based on a few deeds that no one will ever remember but me. When she's off living her life somewhere, I certainly doubt that she is going to remember that one time in December of 2010, I worked a double for her at some crap-stain of a call center so she could sleep. Yeah, I know that would be a memorable moment for most people (note the hint of sarcasm in my voice). Or the time I got you a king-size Reece's Cups and a Dr. Pepper. Yeah, boy! Wow.

 

I'm truly sorry that I could never be, as you put it once, more like your father. I can't tell you how much that hurt me to be compared to someone I could never hope to be. You could have told me to go jump off a tall building or to do something "else" with myself and it wouldn't have hurt nearly as much as that did. And yet, remarkably, you still wouldn't completely kick me out of your life at that point. I should have left at that point, but I didn't.

 

But I can't believe, most of all, you called me last night asking me to write you a resume. And you knew I would say yes because when have I ever told you no? And despite the fact that I offered to do yet another act of kindness for you, you couldn't help but get one jab in on me when I tried to make a joke. Anyone else would have laughed, even if it was just a small giggle. You had to turn it into an opportunity to point out my weaknesses. God, even though it's over and I won't go back now and I know she won't take me back, will you leave me alone? I honestly think writing this has made me rethink "helping her out." If she could change her mind as fast as a fart in the wind, I think I have that right, too.

 

No protracted or lengthy rejoinders here: this is all you will ever get (and you won't actually get it because I've decided you're now officially dead to me) -- goodbye, my old friend. May you one day find whatever it is you're looking for. I do truly pity you and feel sorry for you. I don't hate you, but I don't believe I really love you anymore. I just see a woman who is completely incapable of loving another person. I tried my best. I honestly did. I have to be satisfied with the fact I probably got as close as any person has or ever will to making you feel a real human emotion not fueled by the fire of mania or frozen by the cocktail of pharmaceuticals to keep you at bay. I do feel sympathy for you, but I realized I'm not the one who can reach you. Please take care of yourself and I wish you as much as happiness as you can emotionally handle.

[stillfiguringitallou]

It snowed yesterday- bad and we always joked and dreamed of getting snowed in together - so it made me miss him

 

Then I heard of the 200 accidents on the highway and I reached out to make sure he and his daughter were okay - no response.

 

So I was up till 3am worrying and I still am today

 

All I can think is what kinda jackhole doesn't let someone know they are okay under those circumstances - instead im combing the internet for support in staying away.

 

i've never had a problem with NC before - I really hate this crap

[Ambiguity]

Hey S., me again unfortunately. I saw you today at the student lounge with your boyfriend. Naturally it hurt, yes, but it wasn't as much as it had been. I guess this means I'm finally starting to get over you. I tried to look in your direction only out of curiosity about whether or not you were looking at me, or if you and your boy were kissing, though I'm sure y'all already have many times. Naturally, I glanced every so often just to see you, albeit in the arms of another guy.

 

It hurts seeing you two so happy together, but I'm glad you are. I told you that I want you to be happy even if it isn't with me, and I meant it. I caught a glimpse of you smooching his cheek, running your fingers through his hair, but I also saw when you weren't smiling. Was it out of boredom? His wildness during conversation? From my perspective, it seemed as if he wasn't including you in the conversation... something I would've continuously done, as is my nature. You two were really cuddly when together, though, and it hurt every single time I turned my head in your general direction, trying desperately not to look at you two.

 

Out of all of this, you seem truly happy with him. I know you guys haven't been together for a month yet, but it pains me so to see how happy you are with him; it looks as if he's already making you happier than I ever did. You said you like him during out last talk; my question is whether or not you love him. I really want to ask you that and more, but I know you don't want to talk about it. Honestly, I don't feel you want me in your life right now. For sure, I feel the exact opposite; I want to still spend time with you, I want to be a significant part of your life. I want to be a priority on some level, as I know your boy is in the top 3. I don't want to be irrelevant to you, neglected. I felt lucky to even say hi and get a hug out of you when you came back to the student center.

 

I don't want our friendship to be... this, avoiding and ignoring each other because of tension and history. You say I won't get over you unless I stop caring and loving you, and maybe you're right. However, I will always to a degree love and care for you. I know it's not my job to be there for you, but as I told you, I will be there; I'm determined to remain an important part of your life, no matter the pain it'll put me through.

 

Each day I see you happy with him, I think less and less that it's just a rebound. Each and every time I see you smile with him, part of me dies inside. I'm starting to see how much you really like him.

 

But, do you love him?

[JoelBarish]

So I saw you at the library tonight. I tried to be friendly just like old times. The smile you gave looked more like a grimace . This is a small town. We are going to see each other around. I just wanted things to on friendly terms. Is that so wrong? And yes I miss you and yes I admit that part of me was hoping to open the lines of communication again.

 

I guess now I know that things are completely dead between us. Sure, I can be friendly when we come across each other but it was wrong of me to go out of my way to force the issue.

 

Anyanova said that maybe I just needed to feel the burner to check if it was still hot. Well, the funny thing is, I think the burner was cold today. I think that must be proof that our relationship is completely dead and has been for awhile. Oh I am certain that I am still capable of getting burned by you however I don't think I will spend any more time feeling around to see if our old, dead relationship still has a pulse.

[Conners]

Your friend told me the name of the song that made you upset the other day. Champagne Supernova by Oasis. Now i know why, the lyrics pretty much describe the reason we broke up

[love1336x]

Blah.

I should be married...

I want to be MARRIED!!!

*le sigh* I am so jealous!

[Mondmellonw]

Saw you for a brief moment at school. "Friend" told me I should avoid you at all costs cause you're kind of upset.

 

I thought you were happy with the new girl. I guess you have always hated yourself. I tried to help, but it's all on you. I was going to lose my soul for nothing, and if you can't love yourself it's not my fault at all.

 

I'm learning a lot of stuff since you are gone. I am feeling more aware of things, of my flaws, I'm starting to believe on myself and on my intuition.

 

You are trying very had to get a response from me, so you can call me names (once again). Darling, it won't happen. lol

 

The other day I cried at some certain song. It reminds me of you and of how lost you feel in the world. At first you were the most intelligent person to me and I loved you dearly, but everything was a lie. How could you blame me for this?

 

I left you and you wanted to marry me. I can see why you are still upset. You never got dumped by a girl, you were always the first to leave.

 

You didn't love me and you know it. You wouldn't have lied to me if that were true, so please, forget about trying to harm me and try to live your life in better terms with yourself.

[Xemyd]

Where's my f*cking breadcrumb?!

[bubblesbursted]

Ex

 

I woke up feeling down. I cant stop blaming me today. I feel so down , I mean I wasnt good enough for you. I hate myself. I feel so broken. Why is sleeping & waking up so hard. I had a dream of you , we were together making out & somehow it didng feel right. I cant stop but miss you. I just cant. Its too much.

[coltsfan1]

Even after all this time I still think of you. I hope life goes well for you, its been al long road for me. But it has been quite fruitful for me.

[sickoflove11]

Well I haven't been on here in awhile. I've been trying to keep busy and get over you, it seemed to be working but these last few days have been hard.

 

Then you go and contact me last night but it just made me feel worse because I know it was sent to more than just me. Normally I would have been excited to hear anything from you, even just to have your name to pop up on my phone. But now I don't think I want that anymore. I don't want to see what you're doing, how your life is moving on and mine is still stuck.

 

It's a lot harder for me to make friends. I'm very awkward and just ok with being alone. But you have many friends who I loved hanging out with. You still have them and I am left alone. It's fine being alone but I don't want to see or hear about you and your friends.

[Blizeow]

Posting here instead of breaking NC.

 

21 days NC.

[dcfantom]

This message is to my ex and her dad. If anybody ever makes up lies about me and threatens to file a restraining order on me based on these lies, that person is out of my life for good. Don’t try calling my phone because I have you numbers blocked. I can tell you have tried to get a hold of me on facebook and found I have you blocked because of those voicemail messages you left on my mom’s phone. However, I do appreciate that you stated you decided not file the restraining order. One thing I have to say is STOP CALLING MY MOM’S PHONE. She will also be blocking your numbers. It is clear the only reason why you thought about filing that restraining order is because were mad at me and not because you felt I am dangerous. You know I have never hit anyone including a former girlfriend who physically attacked me and busted my lip open.

 

If you are wondering why I am being extremely harsh about threatening to file a restraining order, first of all, it becomes a public record. Anybody could that there is a restraining order against me. This would be extremely humiliating. Second I could possibly lose out on job opportunities if a potential employer does a background check and finds I have a restraining order against me. And what if a future girlfriend finds I have a restraining order against me? And I am sure there are other reasons not stated.

 

To the dad. Your daughter is an adult and you need to stay out of her business. All relationships will have problems from time to time. It is ok for her if she comes to you for advice. It is ok for you to give her your opinion, but you need to stay out of our business. DON’T ACT LIKE YOU KNOW HOW TO TREAT A LADY!!! I have seen you tell your daughter numerous times she is fat and stupid. I have heard you call her a bitch. The therapist I saw last week stated THIS IS VERBAL ABUSE! You stated in the voice message I don’t know how to treat a lady. One thing I understand about treating a lady is that it is inappropriate say these things to a woman or anyone. I have never said anything like this to your daughter. You are a control freak. What you basically said in the voice message is “Everything is your fault, but however I am willing to talk and we (you and daughter) want to back.” If this is your attitude, then don’t ever expect me to talk to you again.

 

To my ex. It is very difficult for me to believe you cared for me. Did you remember how I was weirded out a couple of nights before the breakup? One thing I know you did not remember is I stated numerous times about how my mom just told me there was a death in my family. You were too focused on yourself to notice. You kept trying to guilt trip me by saying I am mad at you while continuously ignoring the fact that there was a death in my family. Your best friend kept stating my actions are not displaying any type of angry behavior and you also ignored that. Next day I woke up feeling depressed and found I had a nasty voice message from you. I later sent you a text saying “I am depressed, can you call or text me when you get a chance?” I was extremely hurt when you admitted you saw that message and decided not to respond. This was when I called my best friend and stated I am thinking about breaking up with you. You got upset when I sent you a text saying “are you ignoring me” after not being to get a hold of you all day. You and your dad twisted my words around to say I was threatening you and you said you were going to put the restraining order on me. My lawyer stated that the things I said were not threats. I even told the lawyer the your exact words which where the twisted version of my words and they still are not considered a threat.

 

I will admit I am having a hard time letting you go. I highly thank my ex for that last voice message she left on my mom’s phone where she said all those nasty things about me. This took away any doubt that I am making the right decision to cut you out of my life. If you or your dad manage to get around any the blocks me and my mom have on our phones and facebook, expect to receive a letter from my lawyer telling you to not contact me.

[dcfantom]

Oh, Hi again R.

 

Your new girlfriend left town again and she hasn't called you? Gosh, that's too bad. I thought maybe after having to put up with me for all those years you'd have found real love at last. I know she has dated every skanky guy in town for a few months at a time, but surely you are different for her, the real thing. And even though I have heard she is a flake, I don't really think you should listen to that stuff. So what if the bill collectors are after her? She moves every few months so they'll never catch up. Shows that she has some street smarts....

 

To be continued....

 

It never fails to amaze me how stupid some people are.

[Haydn]

Bad 2 days. Had a vivid dream of our love making.Awoke to find you not there. My GF could see straight through me but tremendously she suffered my pain with more respect than i deserved. Thank you.

[ChasingCars]

8 months since the DDay.

Seems like so much longer.

 

You popped up 4 months later and now 4 months after that I can't help but wonder if you will do it again.

I hope not.

What was will never be again but I do think of it and you from time to time.

 

I miss what we had but I don't miss the price of it all.

[AnyaNova]

I'm not posting this to you, Tim, my ex.

 

I don't know who I am posting it for (okay, so perhaps I have a small suspicion who I am posting this for--and no comments please from any peanut gallery who probably also suspects (JB) about who is probably is. I think this is my attempt to begin letting go of it so that I don't get hurt.

 

I know I have been crashing since last night when I looked in the mirror and my eyes were yellow. I know the sadness is mostly related to that.

 

But I also know that even after I have the shots, I need to let go of this. The likelihood given the entire situation, is that even if I am seeing things correctly, they will never, ever be acted upon.

 

I have to let this go. But damn, it was nice to have some hope that maybe once, something like that could happen naturally and arise organically for me.

 

So here it is.

 

[iouaname]

SCREW YOU and all of your awful decisions. You're a little man.

[Xemyd]

I really thought you'd contact me at some point but it's not coming, is it?

[KCCK]

After 6 long months of suffering, I think it is time... I have already decided, since you no longer care and love me anymore, I should do the same as well..

[Emilia]

Have to say you looked good this morning. Would have loved a chat, alas it's not the right thing to do. I honestly hope any contact we must have will be over email.

[Dayzed]

girl what happened why dont i get an explanation? you changed your number? dont trip i got the new one but i aint callin yo ass ima wait till u come crawlin back i aint gonna lie im still not over you but im startin to notice other women yea that fast i know one of these days your gonna come askin for money but you aint gonna get it im done with bein ur lifeline you wanna live that life you live it without me in it wich is what you are doin anyways only comin to me when you need some cash or a place to crash ima get my **** together this summer and ima blow up on your ass the window to reconcile with me is getting shorter and shorter i know you aint gonna find anyone better than me but are you gonna realise that before its too late show me you wanna change show me your ready to be wife and mother...

 

or maybe im just kidding myself you know they say you cant turn a ho into a housewife

[maturityassets]

Why are your friends liking my photos?... I'll never know and it really doesn't matter. Just asking a question while wondering.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

I saw you driving Saturday afternoon...first time I saw you in 6 months. We live so close it was only a matter of time. This the first time I saw you since the break up and I have to admit my heart skipped a beat. I have to admit I thought about you all weekend. I have to admit that seeing you made me miss you.

 

I keep telling myself that seeing you has not changed the situation between us...but for the moment, I've become unglued.

 

Picking myself back up again and hoping I can move on from this quickly.

Edited February 3, 2014 by seekingpeaceinlove

[Ambiguity]

So S., seems like things are well on your side of things. Yes, I still stupidly care for your well-being and happiness, but I can't help but loathe you, dating another guy 2 weeks after ending your relationship with me. Likewise, neither you nor your boyfriend (with whom I was cool) asked me if I was okay and was over your before dating; y'all just jumped right in. Judging by the things I've heard, things have been moving very quickly, much quicker than when we were together, especially in private (good job being caught by your roommate as well.)

 

Yes, my heart is tainted with bitterness and hatred, both of which are justfied; bitterness because of your apparent lack of concern, and hatred for what you did to me. I believe that any decent human being would at least talk with their ex and respect their feelings instead of just plowing into another relationship. From what I've heard, nobody in our group likes you nor your boyfriend, and most if not all of them blame him for breaking up us, myself included.

 

However, being the idiot I am, I am still concerned for your well-being. I am worried about your safety with a guy who is easily angered, clingy, and may (and I won't sugarcoat this) force himself upon you before marriage (as I know you're against premarital sex.) Of course, I do not wish for you to be hurt, but I think you need to experience the pain of the consequences of your actions to realise how badly you messed up. In time, these things will come to light, especially when your puppydog love phase ends. I just hope you're ready for the pain that is to come.

 

It is extremely rare for me to truly hate something due to my nature and general weirdness, but when I do, boy do I hate it. In this case, I feel taken advantage of, used to a degree, and overall unappreciated. I feel offended and betrayed as a human being, like my human dignity have been infringed upon and I've been used and tossed aside like an old doll.

 

Wanna know what the worst part is? You don't even care.

 

You know that I am probably the most forgiving person you know. It is extremely difficult to do something to me for which I would be very hesitant to forgive. There are things for which, despite my weirdness, even I would draw the line. You have crossed that line. Even the nicest guys have a limit before they've had enough. And you know what?

 

I've had enough.