Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[The Situation]

You have no idea how much I can relate to this. With my B vitamin deficiency recognized and in treatment, as long as I am very careful about regulating stress (as soon as I get all of my syllabi, I am going to put all assignments on one calendar so I can plan for the likely stressful times that might induce more of a dip or crash between shots), but anyway, there is so much that I can do now, and so much that is exciting that I wish I could share with my ex.

 

Unfortunately, unlike (it sounds like) your ex, my ex apparently has no desire to share it with me.

 

To try to put a positive spin on this, maybe our respective progress just means we'll have better luck next time with someone else. They may be just around the corner, who knows? Whatever the case, next time will be better as we will have learned from mistakes and be that little bit better for it.

 

Having said that, it hurts tonight. Really wish I could have come home from work on a high and enjoyed each other's company like she could and I couldn't do before. It's a shame, I try not to dwell, but it is all the more difficult when she was so ideal at a better time.

 

She's not coming back, so I don't think mine is interested in me either!

[AnyaNova]

The irony is, because of the B vitamin crashes (much less severe now, thankfully, and getting much rarer), you probably think that I am crazy.

 

That I am a bullet dodged.

 

But I remember the way I reacted to much worse news when my B vitamins were fresh and untaxed. Literally, I cried for about two minutes, posted something here, and then got into "how I'm going to deal with it mode."

 

I think this is part of the dip that I started noticing Saturday, and went into Sunday.

 

So though right now I wish you'd call and say that you wanted to give it another shot, I know that you won't. And when my body has adjusted again after that super stressful workout, I will probably be okay with the fact that you are clearly moving on without me.

 

A friend of mine said that I deserved more than what you offered me, and that you were too ignorant to appreciate me.

 

Perhaps in a day or two when I have stabilized again, I will believe this.

 

But right now there is a stupid part of me that wishes that you could walk this part of my journey with me, and be there to witness the crashes/dips when they happen, and be there to witness them happening less severely and less often as my body begins to understand that there will be enough with the injections.

 

That wishes you could see the difference in who I am and how stable I am when I have enough actually circulating through my body!

[AnyaNova]

To try to put a positive spin on this, maybe our respective progress just means we'll have better luck next time with someone else. They may be just around the corner, who knows? Whatever the case, next time will be better as we will have learned from mistakes and be that little bit better for it.

 

Having said that, it hurts tonight. Really wish I could have come home from work on a high and enjoyed each other's company like she could and I couldn't do before. It's a shame, I try not to dwell, but it is all the more difficult when she was so ideal at a better time.

 

She's not coming back, so I don't think mine is interested in me either!

 

But if you were the initial dumper, she may need to see concerted effort and a real desire on your part to get back together. I know that is what I would need to see from my ex (not that beggars are going to be riding on horses anytime soon, apparently!). *watery smile*

 

I have a real love-hate with B vitamins right now. It is like they determine my entire world/world-view. But when they are not as they should be, one thing is certain.

 

I will be sad, regardless. And right now, my brain wants to explain this by placing it at the feet of my ex.

 

I agree that with this known, I can at least be upfront with any future partners that this can cause me to get a little depressed and see things darkly (and perhaps give them a bottle of liquid b oral supplements which can help a little in between injections).

 

But one pattern has been made clear to me. The more B vitamins are not in line, the more I miss my ex. Please understand that it doesn't mean that I didn't love him or that I don't like and respect him even now, I do. It is difficult to explain, but it is like a craving when I don't feel good.

 

Apologies for the long stream of consciousness post here. It actually also gets more difficult to think when this happens.

 

I hurt tonight, too.

 

I know that in a relationship I need someone similar in needing more time to evolve the physical aspect of the relationship, someone who is introverted and shy and sensitive like I am, who can appreciate the things I do and understand the things I see and why and how I see them.

 

But it is so hard to find.

[jphcbpa]

Love is like a fart; if you have to force it, it's probably $hit.

[The Situation]

But if you were the initial dumper, she may need to see concerted effort and a real desire on your part to get back together. I know that is what I would need to see from my ex (not that beggars are going to be riding on horses anytime soon, apparently!). *watery smile*

 

I have a real love-hate with B vitamins right now. It is like they determine my entire world/world-view. But when they are not as they should be, one thing is certain.

 

I will be sad, regardless. And right now, my brain wants to explain this by placing it at the feet of my ex.

 

I agree that with this known, I can at least be upfront with any future partners that this can cause me to get a little depressed and see things darkly (and perhaps give them a bottle of liquid b oral supplements which can help a little in between injections).

 

But one pattern has been made clear to me. The more B vitamins are not in line, the more I miss my ex. Please understand that it doesn't mean that I didn't love him or that I don't like and respect him even now, I do. It is difficult to explain, but it is like a craving when I don't feel good.

 

Apologies for the long stream of consciousness post here. It actually also gets more difficult to think when this happens.

 

I hurt tonight, too.

 

I know that in a relationship I need someone similar in needing more time to evolve the physical aspect of the relationship, someone who is introverted and shy and sensitive like I am, who can appreciate the things I do and understand the things I see and why and how I see them.

 

But it is so hard to find.

 

I really don't know what to say about your vitamins, but my ex has Crohn's disease, and she just accepted that some days she'd feel more healthy than others and just carry on. She was incredible like that, and that's why I love her even now (despite not realising at the time)!

 

Not saying you should be like anything or anyone, but you have to accept that's who you are and when someone else comes along, they'll have to accept that too. And the right one will!

 

Oddly, I'm the opposite in terms of being physical. I take longer to develop emotions, which I blame getting burned badly on. Time and patience is what we need!

[jphcbpa]

Accepting and letting go little by little, one day at a time.

[AnyaNova]

After a second dose of oral B complex (which given how little of everything I am absorbing, I feel quite safe taking), I am feeling much better again.

 

I'm going to have to be very careful about stressful events for a while, whether physical or mental.

 

But I am taking charge of my life again this afternoon post dip/crash.

 

I am taking a bubble bath because it seems to be one good way to help convince my body that the stress is over and it doesn't need to either hoard B vitamins or run through them really fast.

 

Then I will shower to get rid of the funky bubble bath stuff from my skin.

 

I will give myself another relaxing experience by buffing my feet with my new Lush mint scrub bar, soaking my feet in that bath and body works foot fizz, and then lathering my feet in my new Lush foot moisturizer.

 

After that, I will put some more ice on my sore muscles, and then schedule some appointments and write a couple of emails I need to write.

 

And then, as much as I want to take the bull by the horns and do a bunch of errands, classes start tomorrow and its going to be stressful so I need to make myself do relaxing things. Write some, maybe. Meditate. Do yoga.

 

I will have an awesome life, and they who deserve to be in it will choose to be and will fight to stay in it.

 

Those who don't, will choose to leave. Choose not to respond. Or to assume that the way I was when I was with you was how I am overall, and not see the effects this deficiency (it caused me to begin to lose my hair and my skin to look like dried paper and caused me to lose over 50 ibs--that was before I met you though) has had on me, particularly the mood variations (which are getting so much better now).

 

I still wish a little that you would decide you wanted to try again. That you wanted to fight for me. But you don't and so I must stop wishing.

[jphcbpa]

i will have an awesome life, and they who deserve to be in it will choose to be and will fight to stay in it..

 

yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jphcbpa]

from a friend of mine..."you did not do all this work on yourself to be in a relationship where you were giving 100% and she was giving 20%...if that". She left her husband out of the blue and you. Why would you want to be investing in someone who will leave at the drop of a hat when things get uncomfortable and she gets unsure."

[AnyaNova]

This weekend has taught me how careful I need to be about stress to be able to make this semester work.

 

I am taking it easy tonight, and praying that it gives my body the signal it needs to not either hoard or burn through the vitamins my body and mind so badly need. I know it took me years to get this depleted and it will take time to replenish.

 

But when I have enough my outlook is so hopeful and able to see the big picture.

 

I need that tomorrow. I pray that I have it!

[JoelBarish]

I hope you are having a good night wherever you are. I've had a terrible migraine all day. My depression is really bad right now. I've gotten so upset and stressed out about work. I don't know if I want to pull my hair out or cry.

 

I tried watching a DVD but my head hurts too much. I wanted to read but I figure the eyes strain would make the headache worse.

 

I tried meditating but I couldn't concentrate. Something has to give here. I am glad that I am off tomorrow.

 

I know that you are long gone. I am not even a memory to you now. Before I met you I was meeting girls right and left. Now I don't have the energy. What did you do to me?

 

I hope that I never see you again. Stay on your funny farm or move to Iowa...or even Alaska.

 

Tomorrow will be a better day. I swear it

[Afailure]

It's been a long time since the break up happened,i know you have moved on and found someone else,someone that treats you the way i should have but i failed.

 

Since we broke up ,everything has been going downhill for me.

 

I don't blame you for wanting to break up,no,i realise i became a burden to you,i tried to rush things despite the many times you asked me to take it slower and let things happen naturally but i was so in love with you i didn't listen to you.

 

I'm sorry for the all arguments i started because of my insecurity despite you proving to me numerous times you truly loved me.

 

I was afraid of losing you which ironically made me do the things i did to push you away.

 

I know you have forgotten me,but it's alright,i deserve it.

 

I learned from my mistakes and i learned to control myself but too late,i wish you would have given me one last chance because i would have been different but i cannot force you to love me.

 

I miss you,everyday,i will always miss you,what we had was magical and i ruined it.I'm so sorry i failed you.

 

Despite my flaws though i never would have betrayed,use or abandon you.

 

No one will ever come close to you,your beauty is not only physical,you have the most beautiful and gentle soul i have ever seen in a girl and losing you has been,so far,the greatest defeat life has thrown at me.

 

But know that i will be always be there for you,if you ever need me.I will always protect you if you need me and i will always be ready to comfort you should you need it.

 

Do not hate me for my actions and words,i'm a flawed being but with the best intentions,despite my actions sometimes showing the opposite.

 

I am done searching ,i have found my soul mate but pushed you away.

 

I still love you,always will.

[AnyaNova]

I am just about to get my b vitamin shots.

 

I am not making any decisions about the rest of the day until I have them. Because my decisions will be so much better for having them.

 

Classes have started and that is great! I am hoping to get busy and buried in work so I can forget you, as you have done to me.

 

I am trying not to remember that everyone in that group when I asked about this, and that opposing message of I need you/go away all said that it took them years of therapy to get over.

 

I'm not going to let it.

 

I've got a life and there is a man out there who will want me and love me. Even if I get a zit. Even if I have a bad day. Even if I get vitamin depleted and my hair is falling out and my skin looks like sandpaper.

 

Because lets face it. Underneath the whole thing, there was some GiGS based on looks wasn't there? Without the basic nutrition I needed, I wasn't very pretty anymore.

 

I'm only beginning to get that back again.

 

The man who deserves me will stay with me and love me, no matter what my looks do.

 

Short after-class lunch break over.

 

Time to get shots and get to the gym and get to work!

[AnyaNova]

So I said I wasn't going to post here anymore after break.

 

But the crash happened and I couldn't write those last couple (save the very last I will post when I have found someone new). So in a few minutes, I'm going to use this time to reorganize my room again. Than I'm going to go ahead and write more on that last night.

 

Then I am going to go to bed early so I can get an early start tomorrow.

 

I wish that none of this would have happened.

 

That we could have found a way to make it work.

 

Because I know you wanted to, to, in September.

 

You wanted to and it showed in how close you stood to me. I'm 99 percent sure that you wanted to kiss several times when we were cuddling (though I must admit, I did too.). The only thing I don't understand is why you insisted on that instead of what I think we both wanted.

 

But it is no matter now.

 

I am dating other guys.

 

One, certainly along the line, will click.

 

Apparently, this fact does not bother you. At one time, this fact made me very sad because it would not be you.

Edited January 22, 2014 by AnyaNova

[Xemyd]

How easy would it be for you to come over and talk to me, work things out. You're barely a minute away from me. You could fix everything.

 

I hate that after finally finding the person I want to be with forever, it ends up bein unrequited. I gave you all I had, and got nothing back. Not even a breadcrumb....

[furby19]

I hate that fact that I kept thinking about you all day. I hate when I think about you. I wish God will send me someone to take my mind off of you. I wish that God will send me someone to call my own. I hate that I hate you. If I could get over you, I won't hate you anymore. I feel like pouting like a child who can't get their way.

 

Why me, God? Why? They say that every person that comes into your life is either a lesson or blessing. I can't figure out which one he was. If I could turn back the hands of time I wouldn't. I don't even know why. I feel like I met a beautiful creature when I first met him. He turned out to be everything but what I thought he was. Even though I wish the thoughts will go away............I still like the way it feels to own the fact that I love someone. I just wish that I could find someone who is available to love and love me back. God please help me!!!!!

[AnyaNova]

Another backwards-ish installment in my attempts to eternal sunshine this.

 

That last night

 

Part somethingorother Post set-up

 

So after we had finished setting up your digital projector set, we went back to your room to talk. You showed me a little more about how you move music on records to digital and then clean up the digital recording from there.

 

I remember as you were looking for a specific set of cords to be able to set up the laptop that you do that on in your room, you pulled out a stuffed animal from one of your drawers. A little bear.

 

I innocently and stupidly asked about it, at first you said it was nothing, but I pressed thinking it was something positively significant to you that you were embarrassed about. I am so sorry. I should have left it alone. Its just, at this point we hadn't had the direct talk yet, and so I still thought we might be getting back together.

 

I think I am writing this in such a way that only a very few people, me and perhaps your parents (I doubt they frequent here) would recognize you. I hope that is so. I am writing this for me to help me recover from this. I am not writing this to cause you embarrassment or harm. I hope you know me well enough to know that I would never intentionally do so. But I think you tend to be private enough anyway that you only are the one likely to recognize any of the details and actually be anywhere near this site. That just occurred to me. And also, I suspect few if any are reading much of these long posts. But anyway...

 

So I said, "tell me." And this is one of those moments that will be seared into my head forever. Your face. With that painfully bittersweet expression people get when they are talking about the most wonderful time in their lives which is now gone. It was the bear that you bought for the kids you taught. You kept it.

 

You didn't hate teaching. There might have been difficult aspects or aspects that you didn't love. But you were happy teaching. Of that I am sure. And you on some level miss teaching. That is why you kept the bear and had that expression on your face.

 

I have my suspicions on who or what convinced you that you did hate teaching and convinced you to follow in your father's much more "prestigious" (according to some, not me!) footsteps.

 

But anyway.

 

After that we talked for awhile on your bed. And then, like we talked about, we cuddled. I will always remember your arms constantly squeezing me tighter. As if we could never be close enough to satisfy you. I remember lying there with my head on your chest saying that this didn't feel like an ending. But you insisted. I said that I had second thoughts. That I was afraid of losing another friend so close on to my friend's death. But you insisted.

 

My memory here is a blur. A lot of tears on both our parts. Several attempts of mine to not keep pushing off the inevitable that you yourself dictated had to be and trying to get up to leave. But you kept pulling me back. And then after cuddling, I think we must have stood up and held each other (again, several attempts on my part to pull away but you needed each time to hold me more, you weren't ready to let me go).

 

During both the cuddling and the standing, you kept crying and literally shaking with super tensed muscles any time the my leaving was mentioned or I tried to do so.

 

This is the oddest thing about this. I think, even though YOU were the one that insisted that we part, despite all those other signs to the contrary, I am pretty sure I spent more time comforting and holding you than vice versa.

 

Finally you were ready. Again, I was really a mess by this time and my memory is a strange combination of flashbulb and blur. You walked me out to the car. I think we stood there hugging for quite awhile. You asked if I would like it if you stayed out on the porch and watched me drive away, I think you indicated that you would like to do so. I got in my car.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Well, this time I actually made it this far writing this without tears. But here they are.

 

The thing is, perhaps if I were a different person, I could shut this off and make your pain not matter to me anymore.

 

It is ironic that so much of what still hurts when I think more deeply about this, is how much you were hurting. Your incredible pain on this last night hurts me still. Even moreso than my own.

 

Probably the definition of love right? I went and got out of my self and actually loved and it had to be someone who was going to sear my heart like this.

 

At least, with enough B's going around my system. I know that writing this isn't going to plunge me into days of doldrums. I will think about it and probably, yes, cry some freaking more while I clean my room (it slipped a little during this last crash) so that it will make a much more inviting and organized place of study.

 

The other thing I have to do now, too, to get as over you as possible, is to stop using you as my internal cheerleader. To stop imaging how proud you would be of me as I'm getting my life together, finishing an assignment, or finishing those extra reps during my personal training session that I didn't think I could finish.

 

I still have no understanding. Every physical and non-verbal cue you gave was filled with extreme care and dare I say love for me. I know that you didn't want me out of your life. I know that you weren't emotionally separating yourself from me. None of your actions demonstrated that (I had emotionally prepared myself for that and could have handled that with grace and aplomb, and I also would have been fine afterwards, had that been the case. I thought that actually was going to be the case before I got there, if what I thought was even more likely to be the case, wasn't--if that makes any sense). I know that some set of internal or external barriers somehow got in the way and made it impossible for us to be together.

 

I mean, you can try and tell yourself that you really didn't feel all that much for me that night, but you would be lying and you know that.

 

But that, I think, has been what has made it so difficult to get over you.

 

And somehow, writing this all (maybe its all about removing that gag I talked about) is helping.

 

And if you have actually read this far and have never met me in person (JB!) you deserve a medal. Actually, even if you have met me in person, you deserve a medal.

Edited January 22, 2014 by AnyaNova

[JoelBarish]

Ya know we had so many "goodbyes" in the last 4 months....it wasn't until the last one that it felt final.

 

In September it was like a bad nightmare that I thought couldn't be true. I thought you would come to your senses and take it all back.

 

In October and early November I thought you were coming back to me. But then I pushed you away because it was so painful to see you and know that everything was different.

 

In December I took a shot and I thought you had all but come back. But I pushed you away again with my jealousy and now I feel that it's final for both of us. So now maybe the healing has truly started. In a few months or longer maybe you will fade from my thoughts. But I haven't got there yet.

 

I try so hard with work and I get so stressed out. I have no one to come home to. I'm so sick tonight. The world spins when I stand up. I am so very cold. Just once more I wish you were next to me, squeezing me, stroking my hair.

 

I really got to get rid of these thoughts. The past is suffocating. Why remember a dream that has died?

[AnyaNova]

Why remember a dream that has died?

 

This. A hundred times over.

 

A million.

 

The dream is dead and she killed it for the two of you, and he killed it for him and I and neither of them want it back.

Edited January 22, 2014 by AnyaNova

[JoelBarish]

You know by talking to you on here I'm keeping you alive in my head. Other than the breadcrumbs, have you ever written to me or journaled about me? I imagine not.

 

You were all wrong for me from the start. Yet everything you said and did proved that I was wrong to think that way. You spoiled me. I never dared say I wanted something because you would run out and get it for me. You texted me or called me before I was even awake. Even when I was sleeping, you were giving me attention.

 

Why?

 

Why were things so good then so bad? I'd like to think it's BPD but I've seen it before and the relationship was the opposite of what I had with you.

 

I don't know what inner demons you are fighting. I never knew. I do know how jumpy you are. Many times when you were sleeping next to me and I could tell that you were dreaming. Suddenly, you would jump and I knew that you were lost in some nightmare. When we were apart and saying goodnight, I would say to you "have good dreams only" but somewhere along the way I stopped saying that to you because other pet sayings and catchphrases spawned between us. I suppose your bad dreams must have caught up to you and you couldn't stop the demons from carrying you away from me anymore.

 

I can't keep talking to you anymore R. It's too hard. So this is it. Let's shake hands and walk away. I know that we will never forget each other even if sometimes both really want to. All of the love you gave me didn't go to waste. I wanted to be the best SW I could be because you deserved the best. And I know that you were pretty damn good to me when we were together. I just really, REALLY hope that you know how hard that I tried. I held nothing back. I never thought that I would give myself so fully to someone again. It was a risk but you were worth taking a chance on. I hope that you can look back and know in your heart that you tried your hardest with me.

 

So yeah, no hard feelings Jellybean. I hope that wherever you are tonight that you are happy. I won't say goodbye. We've said that too much already. Instead, I will say goodnight RMA. Have good dreams only

[loveiswar101]

Why oh why after 6 weeks can I still not get you out of my mind for more than 5 mins. This is nuts !

[jphcbpa]

New strategy that came to me this morning while writing and reflecting.

 

when I picture your face, you or us in my head...I am going to start picturing me. My face, my life. I am going to keep the mirror up and reflect my life and what I want, need, desire.

 

you are my greatest teacher. thank you!

[AnyaNova]

So I just got out of class.

 

I am on a short food break before I finish an assignment, do errands, go to my gym appointment, and come home and study more.

 

When that person with similarities to you (no pic) visited my profile, my intuition said very strongly that it was you.

 

I don't know. Maybe it isn't.

 

But you visited again last night (obviously, if it was you, and you know, for know I'm going to act as if it is. I think that would be best for my healing and working this out, actually). Obviously I know that my intuition has been wrong before and it could be here too.

 

When you visited the first time and then didn't again, I thought that you had a passing curiosity about me and then disappeared off to go happily find other women.

 

When you visited again, though. That made me suspect.

 

Perhaps you're not finding anyone that you think you have the same compatibility with? Perhaps despite what you said that last night, you didn't just wake up relieved and wonderful? Or if you did, it was a very short lived thing?

 

If you came back, and I wasn't with someone else, would I give you a chance again? Despite several strong warnings from people who know our situation who think you would be very likely to leave again for the exact same reasons, I don't think we got a fair shot and yes, I probably would.

 

You know, I first heard this song on the way home for Thanksgiving break. It literally seemed so close, so possible to what you might have at least at one time been feeling about me that I literally cried. I thought I hated that song.

 

But now I wonder, if that is you visiting, if this song isn't you right now.

 

Not that I expect that you're going to come blazing to my door begging for another chance with me. I've hurt enough to even begin to imagine that for a second, or even let myself briefly wish for it.

 

But perhaps, you realize what you lost.

 

I don't know if what we had was the very beginnings of true love forever or if you were the yang to my ****edupedness's yin or if we were the yin to each other's ****edupedness's yang (to loosely quote another poster on LS who I cannot remember, so please feel free to give yourself credit if you recognize).

 

But this has been extraordinarily hard to let go.

 

And you did let me go.

 

Edited January 22, 2014 by AnyaNova

[Saurren]

You were driving drunk so I didn't want to talk while you were driving and on the phone. You got mad at me and by this time I'm pissed off at you already also. Then the next day we agreed to get lunch and I gave you the silent treatment and we went our separate ways. You know how much I hate it when you drink and drive and you break up with me?

 

At least I didn't cause you to die.

[Ambiguity]

Well S, here we are. We talked today like we said we would, though I get the feeling you really didn't want to. I feel we got some stuff cleared, but that doesn't by any margin make things okay between us.

 

Today you told me that you two are official and that you're trying to take it slow. That's good, I don't want you to get hurt. I wish you hadn't moved so quickly though, dating him not even a month after you broke it off with me. You even said yourself that you think it was a bit fast of a move, even if it was to get over me. I don't believe getting with someone so soon is the best way to deal with a breakup. Truthfully I'm hurt and offended by it. You said you still care, but your neglect and unwillingness to a) settle things, and b) attempt to talk to me show otherwise.

 

Then again you said yourself that you honestly didn't want to talk to me, at least not alone, because this will just come right back up, to which I told you that I'm working on that, but it probably won't happen until we're over this. You don't want drama, and I understand. The drama with a friend of ours and me, with issues between us that kept coming up during our relationship and the scare of me not being back at university for the semester (though here I am.) I get it.

 

You're not a "what if" person, but what if we were to sit down and talk about the issues. Like now, you're already having communication issues in your relationship though you said you're trying to work them out now rather than later. Yeah you say you enjoy time with him, but when I asked you what you actually like about him, the first three words to come out of your mouth were "I don't know," proceeded by saying that he's "different," though you also confirmed that I made you happy and was there for you through everything when I said I tried my hardest to take care of you and be there for you even though I didn't have much. You agreed to both.

 

So why him? Why are you dating someone that, coming from multiple close friends, is a prick, ill-tempered, more clingy than I was, and, from what I've told, has been with and quickly gotten over a lot of girls? Is it because that, as you said, he "picked up the pieces?" Because you wanted to "get to know him" when he introduced himself, even though you said it was just that? Yes, he confides even his darkest secrets in you and I know you appreciate that and like it, but at the end of the day, you are still getting to know him and essentially just met. I believe this is how he does it; he swoops in on emotionally hurt girls, quickly swoons them, and becomes their boyfriend because it feels nice.

 

You say you want to be friends, but your actions have proven otherwise. And really, dating someone less than 2 weeks after breaking up is not enough time, regardless of how close you may feel to him or how much he trusts you. You said he's investing a lot in it and that you "think" you are, too. *You are afraid of hurting him because he's already investing so much into this relationship, and you "think" you are as well. There's no "think," you're either invested or you're not. If you're not, you don't need to be with him. If you are, good for you. However, this is an EXACT repeat of our relationship; we were invested, then we start becoming more busy, though I was still trying to make ends meet in the relationship, then you believe that you weren't loving me like I was you, state it's unfair, and end it. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

 

*This is my prediction for the relationship if (and I will venture to say when) it ends; either of you will end it because of lack of interest and/or investment, or it will become abusive. Heaven forbid it becomes abusive, and if he lays so much as lays a finger on you, God-willing I will personally end his existence. However, I am also open to the possibility of it actually working out, at which point you're at the mercy of post-college careers by way of distance and salary (support, etc. You still want someone to take care of you right?). This is if and only if it doesn't end for the aforementioned reasons.

 

I know you really like him, at least to the point to believe that he's "not just a rebound," that it's "more than that." I may just be in denial, but I find it very hard to believe that someone could be over a serious 8-month relationship (especially when it was their first relationship) and be with another guy within 2 weeks. More over, the guy is, according to friends, a jerk, clingy, and has temper issues. Likewise, he doesn't seem to respect the concept of "girls night" from what I've heard. Our friends may have given it the "seal of approval," but from what they've told me, they don't approve. They'll be supportive because they love you, but they want him out.

 

You don't care what people think. I get that. However, if literally all of our friends are saying something about it, at the very least saying it's awkward that you moved so quickly, I would advise you listen to what they say and take it into consideration, something you refuse to do because it's "not their relationship" and it's "not their business." You may seem happy and think everything is peachy now, but let's see how things progress down the line. I'm glad you're happy, but I'm really curious as to how long this happiness will last, as well as how long people will stand by and allow your stubbornness to blind yourself.

 

I know how much he likes you; it's evident through his confiding in you and putting up with your crap. This will soon go away - it did with me, and I showed you that some things you did were not okay and that you needed to work on that. I'm sure he will see that at some point. It's not all you, though; he should at least have the decency to acknowledge that you still JUST exited a relationship. I believe that if he truly cared about you, he wouldn't "swoop in for the kill" the moment we ended; he would just comfort and be there for you, not agreeing to immediately start another relationship. I'm wondering if he is thinking that he's the rebound guy, that you're just clinging to him to fill the void. If not, then I believe he is blinded by your interest in him and vice versa. I would even venture to say that he gave no thought as to whether or not you were really over me prior to dating you. You've probably told him you were, but I can't help but wonder if your new boyfriend questions the suddennes of the relationship. I know you both want it to work, but right after she exited a relationship is not the time.

 

*To the guy: don't be the person who goes in for the kill just to be with her. Let her heal on her own time, and don't truncate the process. Healing is natural, so have the decency to let it be exactly that. If you don't let her heal on her own by dating her immediately, it will only cause both of you pain, and that's the last thing I want for both of you, as a couple and individually. Simply put, you haven't had enough time with her to become her boyfriend.

 

*To S: you said that this was an "opportunity" for you to explore your options. My argument to that is that sometimes opportunites must be bypassed for the sake of your own emotional health. You feel as if you can handle it, but all three of us and more know how heavy your workload will become. Will you endure the stress and probable drama of keeping up with school, friends, AND a clingy, ill-tempered jerk of a boyfriend, or will you cave under pressure and end it, as you did with me?

 

*I understand confiding in him and finding comfort in him, but dating him is more serious than that. It's the same principle as above: you haven't had enough time with him to become his girlfriend.

Edited January 22, 2014 by Ambiguity
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