Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[love1336x]

It's been awhile since I said I love you, and meant it to anyone...

I miss that.

[AnyaNova]

It's been awhile since I said I love you, and meant it to anyone...

I miss that.

 

I miss that too!

[LLQ1986]

I miss that too!

 

Me three!

 

I miss saying goodmornings and goodnights to him

 

And it kills me to think that you are now saying that to her instead of me...

[The Situation]

Really wish I could PM you, but I don't think you have enough posts yet. Have you contacted her?

 

It's cool, no worries!

 

I haven't contacted her but not sure I want to in case it sets her back. I don't want to cause her any more harm.

 

Glad to see you're making progress! There will be tough days ahead but just remember you have felt better before and you will again. Keep up the fine work!

[AnyaNova]

It's cool, no worries!

 

I haven't contacted her but not sure I want to in case it sets her back. I don't want to cause her any more harm.

 

Glad to see you're making progress! There will be tough days ahead but just remember you have felt better before and you will again. Keep up the fine work!

 

Do you think that she might want to know? At this point, I don't think you would set her too far back. I don't know. I think it's worth a shot. You were the original dumper, if I recall. She might want another shot, she may not.

 

I think when you do, if you do, you need to find a way to communicate your hopes, so that she doesn't take your communication as breadcrumbs, but do so in a way that makes clear that you have no expectations or demands of her.

 

I think that it is possible that you are allowing your fear of possible rejection to mask itself as justifications for not doing it.

 

If you really don't think it is right, I guess move on. Just know that some of us have really been rooting for you!

[Dutchdoor65]

You rat bastard. I currently HATE you, for what you did to me. I hope this completely dysfunctional relationship you are in now, the one you DUMPED me for, blows up in your face. How can I possibly be happy for you? You are a mess, she is a mess. I am not ashamed to admit, that I am longing for the day that I hear from one of our mutual friends, that this BROAD left you as quickly as she latched on to you. 7 years...down the drain. 7 FRICKEN YEARS! How COULD you!! I supported your lazy a$$!!! You left me stranded, in the sub-zero tundra, in that God awful dump of a place...while you were at a MOTEL for five days??? WITH HER? Both of you are complete full blown alcoholics, and both of you deserve each other. Yes...NC. Screw you...you don't deserve my contact.

[Mondmellonw]

So I’m listening to “Like a Stone” from Audioslave, haha. This days I’ve been listening to music I used to like when I was like, 14 or 13 years old. Loooong ago, before you even knocked my door.

These songs don’t remind me of you.

It is hard nowadays to listen to the music I am more into… Because it’s music I listened with you, or music I shared with you. You’re an ass of a person, but I gotta admit your music taste was awesome.

However, I am not afraid to listen to those songs. And, yeah: I have a new anthem: I feel good now.

[H245]

As I walked to the bar last night I saw your car parked in the lot where I could see it from my room in my condo. I feel you intentionally did that. At 3am as I'm talking to my friend online I see you get dropped off at your car from my window since it was in plain site. You drove away but not before you stared into my window and us seeing each other. This further reaffirms you parked your car intentionally for me to see you get dropped off by another man.

 

You then text me 20 minutes later asking me if it was necessary to delete you from FB. You had been deleted for days. You're only just realizing this now. I am starting to see more and more that you're acting like a child. I know you're 25 and want to live your life, but your actions are not that of an adult.

[Hoaks]

You said you would never lie to me, but you did for 4 days straight. Whichever way you try and spin it, your a liar. And your right, I can never trust you again. And that's the way you want it. Your a user and gave me too many reasons why we couldn't work. Which are all rubbish. When only one reason would have done, the honest one. You have no feelings left for me and want to try it out with this other guy. Who is already talking to you in text like he's your husband.

So you telling me to just give u space, that your not talking to or interested in anyone is bs. He was at your house that night. You think your some great person, everyone loves you. Your just like the rest of them. Good luck to you.

[AnyaNova]

So I had planned to watch a movie with some friends tonight.

 

They'd planned some movie called, "I do and I don't." But the general consensus was that the movie was awkward. A couple of us wanted to go for a sci-fi, but then one insisted on "The Fifth Quarter."

 

The plot involves a high-school boy who accepts a ride home from someone he wouldn't usually, and the reckless driving of this person ends up causing this boy's death, and apparently it is all about the organ donation and the people he saves.

 

But I couldn't make it through. It took me awhile to see the parallels that brought back my friend's death even though it has now been nearly a year. A sincerely good person that anyone with half a brain can't help but love.

 

I had to leave very early in the movie.

 

And now I am here. And there is a small stupid part of me that wishes I could be curled up in your arms, not even talking about it necessarily, just receiving comfort and your strength.

 

So stupid I know this far out. I mean, it has now been nearly twice as long as we were actually together.

 

I've had enough loss for a lifetime.

[im_thedude]

Just feeling sentimental and thinking of you. I wish we could spend a night together, like when we were together. I wish we could just hop back into that blissful portion of our relationship. The romantic in me wants to let go of all the drama, anger, and sorrow. The romantic in me wants you back, and knowing you're single brings an odd comfort to me.

 

Knowing, though, that we could never get back together, because I can never trust you again nor will I forgive you, is like brass cymbals after a night of hard drinking.

[Bishop556]

Dear Angela,

 

I know I ****ed up in the past with you, but how could you leave me after all we have been through? How could you dismiss my attempts to reconcile through couple counseling and therapy? How could you label me as a potential abuser when I was willing to go the extra mile to make it work, and have shown no signs of abuse for a year and a half, but instead have shown deep love for you? You would tell me that no one has ever made you feel so loved as myself, so how could someone like me become abusive? How could you dismiss the fact that I lost trust in you when you emotionally cheated on me, and even then I gave you a second chance, but you were unwilling to do the same? I loved you more than any woman I have ever met. I have always been by your side, treating you like a princess. What happened to the moments when you told me that I made you feel so beautiful about yourself, only two weeks before our relationship ended? Why did you have sex with the same man you emotionally cheated on me with a week after we ended? If you thought the relationship was so unhealthy, then how is offering couple counseling to make it healthy going to result in an unhealthy relationship? I would have made it work because I cared for you that much. When two people love each other, they make the relationship work through nearly any obstacle. Why couldn't you have done the same?

Edited January 18, 2014 by Bishop556

[H245]

I really want to talk to you but at this point I don't even know what I would even say to you anymore. So instead I'll let these song lyrics speak for me

 

I find you're here

Moving on

You're just doing what you want

And I can't find it wrong

 

I know for sure

You would be gone

You wouldn't stay with me

If something better comes along

 

You know it's wrong, you know the way

But do you really want to stay?

A sudden thought, a thing to mind

It would be only wasting time

[EnigmaWolf92]

Really gotta learn when to stay silent and when to cut back these bad habits and check backs are getting less frequent I can't want till they don't happen anymore. funny how you used to be so bad at computers but I taught you well in games of no contact well played you have become as ghost I could still reach you but I know better...just wish I knew what brought you to this point..well I know just wish I could accept it. the blinders we put on i guess.

[Xemyd]

Goodnight, love.

 

I hope you miss me, I just wish you knew that you could call me....

[Mondmellonw]

Today I feel like crap, and need to vent, write, scream, run to the hills, whatever. I feel desperate. I feel lonely. I know that being alone is a lie to everyone, but sometimes you just feel that way. It makes me mad to think that you're enjoying yourself as if nothing ever happened, as if I never existed. My self steem it's not at it's best right now. I have a healthy life, but my mind is completely messed up. I have to clean that mess in order to feel whole again. Like I felt before I met you.

[AnyaNova]

So I am going to do this. I've been saying it. And this will lead up to all but my last post on this thread about you. Each of these will probably get long. But I am going to write out everything that I remember about that last night and some time shortly after, but backwards. In hopes that I can come as close as possible to erasing it. Rendering it powerless over me. Removing any of your power over me. Clearly you have forgotten about me and clearly you just don't care. And so I must do the same. 100 percent and completely

 

The Next Day

 

I remember having gone to Walgreens with my friend Kevin (thank God he was visiting then, otherwise I think I might have really been in a bad way)to get cold drinks. I spent most of the day crying. I couldn't seem to stop.

 

We took those cold drinks to a nice shady tree in a nice grassy and isolated spot off of the street that has most of the big box stores in my town. He just listened to me, tried to answer my questions about you and what you might be thinking, and why you still insist on doing this when it was clearly causing us both so much pain. In my head though, I think I knew it was real, but there was an air of unreality to the whole thing.

 

From this day after, I remember various snapshots. Me deciding impulsively that I really wanted a root beer float, and so we ended up going to that burger place that you and I went on one of our early dates. I remember us sitting at the park that you and I had gone too.

 

I remember feeling like the pain was so bad that I was going to die. I mean, I knew I wasn't, but it seemed like it. At the time, the idea that I would never see or hear from you again seemed suffocatingly impossible.

 

The Last Night

 

Part 1-arriving home

 

When I came in, Kevin (my friend who was visiting) didn't get it. It was late and he'd already fallen asleep. He thought because it was so late, that it must have gone well. That everybody I had talked to (save my mother) had been right. That you and I had gotten back together.

 

It took him a few minutes to see. Between my ADD and I think now my vitamin deficiency, I have not had the emotional control in many situations (Especially when there are other people in the vicinity) that I would usually desire. But he didn't see for a couple of minutes.

 

I wrote something as soon as I got home. I sent it to you. Somehow I knew that you would not reply to it, but I told you that I loved you, and that I hadn't figured that out until I had gotten home that night, and that you deserved to know.

 

Kevin made sure that I got to bed, and though I didn't sleep terribly long or well for obvious reasons, I did sleep some, but again I cried until I fell asleep.

 

part 2-driving home

 

I admit it. I cried the whole way home. I think I was able to stop the tears for long enough to pay the toll once I got back to my town, but that was about it.

 

I kept seeing in my mind you running after my car as I pulled out of your condo's parking lot. I remember wishing that I had stopped. Wondering if it would have made a difference. Knowing that it wouldn't have. I knew that you wanted to stand on your porch to watch me leave. I know that you were crying. But I didn't know that you were going to do that. I'm not sure that you did either.

 

I remember feeling like the worst abandoner in the entire world. Even though I know that you insisted,- that I didn't want it to happen this way, the amount of pain it caused you, the amount of pain you showed me. I still felt like I was the one leaving you. Like I was being cruel.

 

And the dark. It was so dark as I drove. My intuition didn't want to believe it, it wanted to tell me that I would see you again, that this wouldn't be the last time I would drive to or from your place. That I would feel your arms around me again. How wrong I was.

 

---------------------------------------

 

I am trying to find some way to write about this, the right details to include to make it not sound like a fricking movie. The amount of pain involved was monstrous, but that is the only detail I can find that really doesn't make it sound like some unhealthy relationship chick flick extraordinaire.

 

And again, I find myself crying as I write this. But I hope, that after I write that second to last post, which given the amount of naive and idiotic hope I had, will be the most painful, that it will be last tears that I ever shed over you. I don't think you have any understanding of how badly that push/pull of "I need you so badly that making you go away is causing me this crap ton of pain that I am showing you, but go away anyway" really does mess one up.

 

I will continue with the next installment of "our last night" in a while.

[DownNtOut]

C,

 

it was your birthday this week. i am not going to break no contact. i wish i could not think about you and your new boyfriend. i think of you everyday C. i will slowly move on.

 

anyway Happy Birthday !

hope you had a nice trip away for it

[The Situation]

Wish I could have spent today with you.

[JoelBarish]

We've been broken up for awhile now. I still have my memories of you. But looking back now it is getting harder to remember what it was actually like being together. I know that we were together for a long time and I walked through life being confident and secure in our relationship but I can't remember what that feels like anymore. I just thought of something...I don't have any pictures of you anymore but you are on my families videos. I dread ever watching those videos again and seeing us together and happy. Talk about disassociation. If I ever saw those videos of us I wouldn't even recognize the people on screen. They would be strangers to me and that makes me want to cry...

 

It's so easy for me to be dismissive of you now. I automatically assume that you are with someone else and that you feel nothing concerning losing me but that can't be true. I know that the person that you were in the videos truly cared for me and wanted me. It is not possible that you don't associate some sort of pain over losing me for good

[JoelBarish]

Stay out of my dreams.

 

Please don't contact me on Vday

[The Situation]

Argh! My work life's getting exciting and I'm so much happier than you remember me. So gutted you're not with me to enjoy it with. I miss you so very much.xx

[AnyaNova]

Argh! My work life's getting exciting and I'm so much happier than you remember me. So gutted you're not with me to enjoy it with. I miss you so very much.xx

 

You have no idea how much I can relate to this. With my B vitamin deficiency recognized and in treatment, as long as I am very careful about regulating stress (as soon as I get all of my syllabi, I am going to put all assignments on one calendar so I can plan for the likely stressful times that might induce more of a dip or crash between shots), but anyway, there is so much that I can do now, and so much that is exciting that I wish I could share with my ex.

 

Unfortunately, unlike (it sounds like) your ex, my ex apparently has no desire to share it with me.

[AnyaNova]

So, I don't know why this happened.

 

I mean, I've had times when I've seen a someone with no profile pic, a blank or nearly blank profile, with your age from your town and wondered if that was you checking me out.

 

I have no idea why. I can't explain this, usually with my intuition, I can go back and piece together exactly the evidence that led me to the conclusion. I cannot with this one by any way, shape, or form figure the evidence out. So I could be wrong.

 

Yesterday morning I got another visitor to my profile from your town, no pic, nearly empty profile, no smoking or drinking, your age. I don't know why, but my intuition just told me, just knew, that that was you.

 

And I got a little surge of false hope when I thought I saw that you had been back yesterday afternoon. But I was wrong. I misread the time on another visitor.

 

But on your profile (and maybe I'm wrong maybe this isn't you, I can't explain why I seem to know this because it makes no rational sense) you were back in the afternoon, but you didn't look at mine.

 

And on the one hand, I am so glad that you are trying your hand at dating again and not giving up like you said you were.

 

On the other, the fact that you didn't go back, when you were back online. You are truly moving on. You maybe had a passing curiosity about me, but you are looking for others. Not me.

 

And I think, that there was a tiny bit of hope down there that I didn't recognize.

 

But all hope is gone now. I must move on completely.

 

I wish you could have seen me with enough B vitamins to have a passing chance.

[julzfromsa]

Jamie

 

I do miss you, and still am deeply in-love with you. I have not heard your voice or seen you fave in 2 months. I am beginning to forget your face, and i welcome it. I have nothing to remind me of who you are, what you look like, or what we had. Its all burnt, and i don't regret it.

 

I will never contact you, nor will i want to know about your life. It hurts so much that i pretend you are dead. You are dead to me, you are gone. 11 Years, engaged and one day nothing! You are dead to me, and im grieving for you.

 

You will never see me like this. You will never see me this weak. You will never see me grovel, or cry for you. You will see me as a strong man, a man to be respected, and a man that doesn't come crawling back. All these words are true, but it doesn't stop the pain or the pangs of grief that overwhelm me.

 

I would hold you face and kiss your lips. Id tell you once more that i love you, and you are my first and only. We would have tea together, and talk about (well nothing really). I miss you, i miss us. I'm not sure if you have a BF now, i don't care. Regardless of whatever happens, you will never come back to me. Im at peace with that. I know the mistakes ive made, i thank you for showing them to me. Im different now, more than you would ever know. I've surpassed you in every way, but i still love you no matter what.

 

You will not END me. I will not give up.

 

Julian - - -