Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[mantlefan]

I don't know if you are playing a game or not. I saw you with him again today. You didn't need to drive over an hour to come to church here. Maybe you even stayed the night at his house, and that's why you came. Yet you keep telling everyone that you two are not a couple. He was my friend, and neither of you told me what was going on, even as I spilled my guts to him about you.

 

 

I think you are trying to stake claim to all the things we shared, and now you are even encroaching on the new places I have put myself.

 

 

I cried and begged and sniveled and told you how wonderful you are and how much I love you and wanted you back. I am starting to get angry and it feels good. I felt guilty for not being angry at you for rebounding with my friend. I do still love you but I deserve better than you. You gave up on me, and didn't fight, and you were too scared to really be my friend, although you said you wanted to.

 

 

Did you start coming because I stopped talking to you for a month? Do you miss someone telling you how wonderful you are and wanting you back? Are you hoping that seeing you with my friend will make me break down and contact you again? Do you miss the ego boost of me wanting so much to be with you? Do you miss the free wine and chocolate? I guess I have done worse. I take advantage of people too sometimes. But ask yourself, as I ask myself, what would be the best moving forward? Starting right now.

 

 

I am mad. But I don't hate you, because the blinders are off and you are not perfect. You are a scared, confused little kid, no better or worse than me. I hope you figure out how much you hurt me, so you don't hurt anyone like this again. If the breakup was necessary, the mixed signals, evasion of the truth, and stringing me along most definitely were NOT. I want to still believe that deep down you are better than that.

 

 

I would have tried so hard to be there for you. I felt like helping you feel safe in my arms was why I was put on this earth. But you betrayed my trust. You hid the truth from me.

 

 

And I am honest. Too honest. And you don't respect that, so it's good in my head I want nothing to do with you anymore. The truth is, I still care about you. And through all this pain I have learned a lot. I would still do so much for you, I really do want you to be happy. But I can't trust you, and therefore can't trust you if you ask for my help.

 

 

If you ever really need me, I want to be there for you. I don't think you are a bad person, but I think you are terrible for me. It didn't have to be this way, but we shut each other out. But if you come to me claiming need, I will have to think twice about whether I can trust you really need me or not.

 

 

I hurt you once, and I never want to do it again. So understand that me shutting you out, me not feeding your self worth anymore, that has nothing to do with you. That is all for ME.

Edited January 5, 2014 by mantlefan

[The Situation]

Damn it. It hurts again. I'm fine without you, then I'm not. I told you when we last spoke that we'd never cross paths, and you said that I was making your decision difficult. Well, I have no idea how you're doing now, but if you're thinking the same by some slim chance, then I was finally right about something!

 

I just want to say, "Hello." I know that we'd get on, that's just our nature.

[AnyaNova]

Went to see the Hobbit part 2 (which, btw, Lord of the Rings is the one to see if your going to see a Tolkien fantasy movie trilogy).

 

Thought there was going to be a bit of a bad turn thinking of you and that last night and why we couldn't be together with all of that feeling you had for me and me for you, with the whole Legolas and Tuariel subplot, Legolas being too high class for her, and his father the King refusing to let him pledge himself to her.

 

But it took a very good turn. Tauriel finds Kili. And it looks as if there is someone else for her.

 

We couldn't be together. God only knows why. Because how we felt about each other was clear on that Friday in September.

 

Just as Tauriel finds someone else, so will I.

 

You know what, in honor of ripping off that stupid gag, others who know attachment issues who have read the basics of our story have said it. They have said what was so clear to me that night, but I keep refusing to say it. I keep skirting the issue by saying "the feeling you had for me." or some such nonsense. And it is cowardly b.s.

 

If you are reading these, maybe you have convinced yourself otherwise. Maybe you have found a way to pretend the opposite.

 

But it was so clear. In the distance you stood from me, in how you kept pulling me closer as we cuddled, as if you never could get me close enough to you to make you happy, in how you shook, and how you cried, and how you kept holding me and needing to hold me.

 

I will continue to rip off the stupid gag and say it.

 

You loved me.

 

I still have no idea why you sent me away, or why I didn't know that I loved you until that last night.

 

And writing this whole thing would have left me weeping not that many weeks ago.

 

But somehow, in telling the truth of my experience that others just reading your actions knew, I feel freer. I will completely heal from this mess. I will find love again. But this is the truth. I know it in my head, I know it in my heart, and I know it in my gut.

 

You loved me, Tim. You loved me.

 

 

[collegeguy_24]

Dear Ex.

 

I won't post your name, not even your nickname on here for privacy sake. But I want you to know I miss you. I don't understand why you dumped me the way you did.

 

You said that you are busy next semester with school, and working a part time job, and that you weren't sure we could do a long distance relationship. That you needed consistency and for you being single was consistent.

 

I still feel like its an excuse. You realized you needed to work on the relationship, and instead of putting forth the effort, and waiting to see what happens, you came up with all these scenarios in your head and it spiraled out of control, until it got to the point you were probably thinking of unrealistic scenarios.

 

In regards to you being single, please, for the love of god do not follow your sisters route. THat is the worst possible route to take in life.

 

You dumped me before you even came up here to see me. You already had the plane ticket, but you couldn't meet me in person. You are, most likely at least, right up the street from me. I could walk over.

 

But I won't. No matter how much I love you, how much I want to hug you, kiss you, and caress you, I won't come over. I said I refused to be a stalker ex, and I will live up to that.

 

I won't contact you unless you contact me. I love you more then I have ever loved anyone.

 

I am not getting much support from home. My parents, when I told them we broke up, the first thing they said was to keep it to myself, and don't ruin their holidays.

 

My brother is completely indifferent.

 

I have two friends, one who mostly plays games and drinks, and the other who is sincere, also wants into my pants.

 

I really have no support network except what I get online here at loveshack.

 

Your sister is probably not any better, seeing as how she is not only the most pessimistic person alive, she caused a crap ton of drama for our relationship.

 

I love you, with all my heart. I won't move on from you, I can't. Honestly, I am 28, I don't even know how to meet people most times, so I know I won't meet anyone else.

 

You are the most perfect woman I have ever met, and I am prepared to love no one else but you. I am prepared to die alone, as I know its most likely going to happen anyways.

 

I don't want to guilt trip you, but this is how I feel.

 

I love you, and hopefully we can talk soon.

[margot13]

Why did you have to do this? You gave up and I thought you were better and stronger. Let me let go, there has to be a way to leave this feeling of you still in my soul.

[collegeguy_24]

Dear Ex,

 

Yeah sorry about last night when I texted you. I dont even remember doing it. After reading the message I sent though, it makes sense.

 

I couldn't stand the fact that you said I should hate you. Well in my message, I was correct, I have never, and will never, hate you. Was I angry that you left me, and with a shoddy excuse at that?

 

Yes, of course I was. Who wouldn't be?

 

Did I hate you? NO!

 

Now I am sad and depressed. Same as before. I am no longer angry. I just miss you, you are the perfect woman, you have everything I ever wanted in a woman, its just a shame we couldn't still be together.

 

I will keep my promise though in that message. I will not contact you like you requested. If you want contact, you can contact me. I will never say no to that. But due to my social awkwardness, I can not contact you like you requested because I don't want to look like a stalker.

 

I'm not, ad never will be. But I hope you can understand why I won't initiate contact again.

 

I still love you, and I have come to accept I will always love you, and no one else.

[Softie]

I won't be contacting you. I'm sort of at that acceptance stage I think, where I'm kinda glad we broke up so that I can find someone decent, loving, romantic, wants to be with me rather than someone whose lazy, bad credit, no transport, not many friends, no great hobbies or interests, unromantic, selfish beyond anything I've ever experienced before.

 

Thank you.

 

I reckon you'll be contacting me soon, because there are two tv shows that'll remind you of me. Thing is, it's too late. Should of looked after my heart while you still had it.

 

Now your just a Bruno Mars song or Olly Murs.

[Mario79]

I miss you. The more I want to forget, the more I remember. I feel like I have a version of you in my head that hangs around and talks to me and we remember the good times. But the real you just have such animosity towards me. I cant wish you happy birthday, happy new year, happy nothing. I just have to leave you behind, cause I cant forget you. I miss you still.

 

[seekingpeaceinlove]

You txtd me yet again this past weekend and said you still had some of my stuff. I said to keep the blanket but that I had something of yours (which I can mail to you) too. You then wrote to keep it and that maybe it'll be an excuses to see each other one day.

 

Oh boy.

 

I haven't blocked you bc yes, I'm still hoping one day we can meet for a night of hot s*x but now that it seems like we are actually creeping towards that..I'm getting nervous. In my head I'm imagining us f*cking like rabbits and then parting ways amicably for the night. No way it would be that easy though.

 

God I want you. I wish I didn't.

[Petunia20]

Hey David, just wanted to tell you that I forgive you. I saw your picture, yes I know I'm a stalker and you look fugly! lol sorry but whats up with your hair? I saw your pic with her and you both look tore up ha ha But anyways, I felt this sense of forgiveness when I saw it. Like I guess I might be done and almost over you? Its cool now, if you told me you married her I wouldnt get upset. If she is really pregnant, im not mad. You're a distant memory now. Anyways, good luck. I might feel different tomorrow but today I'm over you.

[livingnightmare]

I wrote out half a small insulting letter then I thought pffff this time tonight I'm gonna just let it be, I mean why waste my time. I don't have to put up with your shlt and frustration any more. Well this summer once I get into shape from the training I've started should be a good one. I'm looking forward to seeing what other females are out there and work on my career that you kept throwing spanners in to the works every time I started moving forward... dam I have a few plans, and your not included.

[AnyaNova]

I still do not understand. I never will.

 

You loved me. You sent me away.

 

I hope I can find someone with your intelligence, introversion, kindness, sweetness and loyalty. But with a whole lot more courage.

 

And I leave you wih the question.

 

I am pretty sure you gave up the career that you loved for them, (your face was so sad when you told me about the bear), the woman you loved, I'm pretty sure that you buried your true self for them from a very young age for them.

 

What more are you going to give them? Your soul? A pound of flesh?

 

When are you going to stand up and say to them that enough is enough and it is ok to be you?

Edited January 7, 2014 by AnyaNova

[collegeguy_24]

After our long conversation today, which was done through text, I now have a greater sense of understanding your position.

 

You just weren't ready for the type of commitment I want. Even though you were the first to say I love you, you were the first to say move down to you, and you were the first to say you want to marry me, you still weren't ready.

 

I am not angry, I am sad and depressed. You are literally the perfect woman, you are everything I ever wanted.

 

Which is why I am officially giving up. I am not dating anyone else, I refuse to sleep around.

 

I am taking a temporary vow of celibacy. This might do me some good, because just like you, this will give me a chance to focus on school and finding a new job.

 

But I love you, and always will.

 

I have come to accept the fact that I may be alone for the rest of my life. It hurts, but I have started to accept it.

 

While my dream is to have a family of my own, i want that family with you, and I am willing to be alone in case it doesn't happen.

 

I do hope in a months time we can still be friends like we discussed. And that maybe, just maybe, whether it takes months or years, we can be together again.

 

I will always watch out for you, if anyone hurts you or your family, call me, I will be there.

 

I love you, now, and always.

[LostConfused123]

I feel like I'm starting to finally get over you

 

I'm beginning to view you less and less as the love of my life. . . and more and more like the bullet I dodged.

 

What a great feeling!!!

[AnyaNova]

p.s.-- my hairdresser confirms, my thinning hair is not thinning and is growing back. She said after only a few weeks of vitamin shots, it looks better than when she saw it this summer, already.

 

And after I continue with the new gym regimen and personal training sessions and gym diet, I cannot wait to see what I will look like this summer!

[L1ght]

We were as one....and you let it go.

[Heatemyheart89]

It is ridiculous I still think about you after all this time. Still check your facebook (bad). But I have realised I don't love you at all. Some of the things you do really make me sick.

[AnyaNova]

Most men would kill for a woman who, instead of wanting to "change" him, wanted nothing more than for him to be himself truly and completely.

 

Ironically, my desire for you to be actually you even up to and including where it didn't suit your parents' desires for you, is what drove a wedge between us, why you never responded to any of my emails after our last night, why I am sure no matter what, you will never respond to anything I would ever try to send or do again, which is why I will never again.

 

Most men would love to have a woman who wasn't always trying to change them into someone they are not.

 

You sent me away.

 

Well. It is definitely time for my twice weekly b12 shot.

 

And then I can stop missing your messed up rear end. You are a very sweet, dear person and I really actually hope that you aren't reading these, because I know you will take what I say and find a way to damage your self-esteem in the best way you know how and I don't want to see that.

 

But you really are messed up. And it is messed up that it has taken me this long to get anywhere near over you.

 

And it is messed up that I have to figure out how to explain you, the jedi-mind **** and its subsequent results to other men that I want to be in a relationship with.

 

It is messed up that I know, even when I am 100 percent over you, and my b vitamin levels have built up sufficiently to not dip down and cause mood drops and slightly missing you, that there will always be a very small part of me that will still love you.

 

This whole situation is messed up.

 

And the most messed up thing, is that I really thought that I could help you. I really thought that I could stand back and encourage you to be more you.

 

Messed.

 

The frig.

 

Up.

 

(This is so bizarre, but I swear you can tell a difference in my writing style between when my B vitamin levels are completely up and when they are not).

[JoelBarish]

It seemed like for most of December we weren't broken up. We texted always and we saw each other often. We were nice to each other again.

 

And then I saw your car at his house on New Years. If he is just a friend then why not be more open about things? I want to believe you so badly yet instead of making it better you push me away.

 

I went with my family to that store by his house this morning. For the life of me, I don't understand why they like that store. I was dreading it because I assumed I would see your car there. Thank goodness, I did not. I really want to avoid that side of town if I can help it.

 

Our anniversary is coming up. It would have been 2 years together. You reminded me of that shortly before you broke up with me.

 

All of these breadcrumbs you have given have not been good for my healing. I should have been stronger and said no thank you, I just missed you so much and I missed what we had together.

 

I know that with all of emotional ups and downs you will miss me as time goes by regardless of whatever your relationship situation may be. But as for me I am going to get strong and focus on all the ways my life is getting better.

[livingnightmare]

8 years today, after being there watching our daughter born, feeling life and death swirling in the air, through me in me.

 

Seeing life coming into this world, life so precious to me.

 

Watching you bleed heavily, watching them rush you off to an emergency operation, being told if this was a home birth you would have died.

 

Feeling so happy and so sad, so lost but so at home. so helpless yet so powerful.

 

I stood by you through thick and thin, I took you from a broke family and gave you the love you never had.

 

I done my best, but you wore me down with your lack of communication, lack of empathy, lack of willingness to work on the relationship and your wild temper and mouth that you were so quick to use.

 

You should have been open with me, but you let this lead on and on till you left for others.

 

You had to rub it in my face because of your resentment and anger you built up for me, why you had this resentment I will never know, maybe its because I challenged you with logic, and you knew was right, but never wanted to back down. Maybe you were sick of pretending to be who you were not.

 

You have fallen so low in my eyes. I am ashamed that you are the mother of my daughter, ashamed I put so much effort into you. Feel ashamed that our daughters mother is a slut.

 

I hope one day you realize what you not just threw away, but destroyed with no way of rebuilding even a friendship. Every single good memory I thought I had were not real, you cheated from the start and led me to believe you were someone different. You done some cruel things to me, I doubt you care, but I hope one day you realize, I hope that it eats at you how you made things eat at me.

 

I hope our daughter questions you on all of this because as she grows up I will tell her everything, not to spite you, but so our daughter will never do the things you have done, I want her to know how much pain and suffering you inflicted on her father so she will not be the same as, or do the same as you.

 

Strange how you go to church when you wasn't religious and had no faith now you go and insult me by saying you will pray for me.

 

Just like your mother and all the women in your family, why is it you turn to God after doing so many bad things yet you wont ask forgiveness from those you hurt or make an effort to be honest. All you ever done was leave doubts and thoughts in my mind continually.

 

I am getting over you now I see the real you, now wonder you had to hide it, you knew I would never have got with you! Everything I told you I don't like in a woman you ARE and you knew this and let me love you more and more.

 

Only to punish me for loving you.

 

Is karma real? I do not know, but if it is you better prepare yourself for the storm of your life. Does it even bother you that our beautiful princess's family was destroyed over your selfishness? Does it bother you that you have made conditions impossible for her to ever see us together working as a team, taking her places, giving her some normality in this mess of a situation you created?

 

Seriously at this moment in time I never want to communicate to you in any way again, It would not bother me if you died. You already died, in fact the person I loved never existed.

 

I hope that makes you happy that the only person to ever love you whole heartedly had to be tricked into thinking you were someone different who was not real. Does that not bother you that I did not love YOU. I fell in love with who you pretended to be.

 

As I said I hope in time you realize and this eats at you how you made life eat at me.

 

I'm washing my hands of you tonight, it really is about me now.

 

Enjoy your dysfunctional life.

 

May I warn you, do not bring your family's dysfunctional mess into our daughters life! That is one thing I will not leave alone and all life's rules go out the window then.

[collegeguy_24]

Well, today is the day.

 

TOday is the day you get on that plane and fly back to Humboldt county, California. I miss you so badly, I really do. Your text messages make it clear you are hurting to.

 

I do hurt, I miss you so much, you are everything I ever wanted in a woman.

 

I am hoping, when we contact each other in a months time that we can reconnect. Even if it is as friends and not lovers, I will take it.

 

I can't stand the thought of us not being in contact, of us not being in each others lives in one form or another.

 

If you are cut out of my life forever, I will die. I know I will.

 

I am already dieing inside, a little more everyday. If you are gone forever from my life, I will give up on my life, as it will be fairly obvious by that point I can't do any better with what life has given me, which isn't much.

[loveiswar101]

I'm lost confused with the mixed feelings you throw at me. I presumed at the beginning of December you had said that was it and needed space. I was proud I gave you that with minimal contact and feel my needy clingy way as subsided slightly. I miss you for you, not the sex, not the body, but you. We got on so well.

 

Well for the first time you have suggested we could catch up ! We will see.

 

I'm more in the present now, a new year and need to set new goals for me.

 

But will say I will not give up on us !

[im_thedude]

As ****ed up as I may be, those few who have said it here are right - you are probably so ****ed up, I'm glad you feel like a stranger to me.

[AnyaNova]

The galling thing, is that you are probably telling yourself that you are better off and happier without me. (Forgive the length, I got behind on my b complex while visiting a friend in a different town. So it will probably be a day or two before that kicks in enough for the b12 to really correct my mood and cognition).

 

The way my mind works on enough vitamins, I figure by a year at the latest, and probably no more than a few months, I will have built up enough levels not to have these mood dips. and I am remarkably sane, and able to handle stressful situations calmly (the woman from the couple that stopped to help me on my way here for break when I got caught by myself in freezing rain with a broken defroster kept commenting on how calm I was, and though I tried to minimize it, she was right. I handled it beautifully) and rationally find the best solution when my levels are fine.

 

In other words, not only will I be even prettier with a full head of hair, younger looking skin, and the gym work that I am doing, than I was when dating you, I will also be

 

--extraordinarily emotionally stable

--still having my desire for my partner to be most truly themselves

--definitely needing time when I have energy for my own life and pursuits

--with a better functioning brain, a much better sense of humor

--wanting a partner who has an eye for self-development and improvement

--reading much more than I was able to

 

There are many ways, in which, as soon as I correct the fishtail this very deficiency put in my academic career, I will be an extremely ideal partner.

 

And you, will have missed out.

 

Consider yourself happier if you must. It is not, actually, my loss.

[LostConfused123]

Guess what?!?!

 

I have an incredible and wonderful life to live!!

 

Guess what else?!?!

 

YOU are not going to be in it!!!