Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[sickoflove11]

I can't wait for this holiday break to be over. I hate being home here where we met and dated. All my memories are of him. The only friends I made were his friends. I'm so bored, I stay off social media for a few days then I'm back on and completely back at square one. I want to take time and be single but seeing that he is probably moving on and finding a new girl already makes it hard. I feel like I'm just hoping he will come back to me but I really just want to focus on myself. It's so hard with him always in the back of my mind. I'm at a loss.

[AnyaNova]

Just counting the days I go without missing you.

 

I wonder how much faster I would have gotten over you with enough B vitamins.

 

Oh well. And even better, eating at my parents' house, I got glutened accidentally eating something I thought they'd checked and they'd though I'd checked.

 

Though I would have liked to have someone to cuddle me and curl up with me while I was feeling badly, this time I didn't wish for you, rather for the one who will be in my life next.

Edited January 4, 2014 by AnyaNova

[SameOldFear]

I love you so much. I don't think I'll ever move on. I will wait for you. And if you never come back that's fine, I don't care. I'll still love you.

 

:'(

[AnyaNova]

If you are telling yourself either of these two lies about me to yourself, to make the loss of me easier to deal with, you can stop now, because rest assured that they are not true.

 

1) If you are telling yourself that all I cared about was the physical end of things.

 

I mean, above and beyond the tiny little bit of pride issue that does get involved when a partner has ED issues, let me assure you that because we had chosen not to be sexually active, the only reason I cared so much about you being able to have an erection was because you yourself made the entire relationship contingent upon it when you suggested that it was because you were "losing attraction for me" It was you and the relationship I cared about. Of course, the irony is, I'm pretty sure you dumped me because of this.

 

I wonder how it felt when you realized that the mono had caused the ED and you had already dumped me because you couldn't wait until after you heard from the doctor.

 

But anyway. The summary here. It was you and the relationship I cared about most.

 

2) If you are telling yourself that because I was not happy with you wanting to go dutch on everything, that it must mean I'm a gold digger.

 

Again, your pocketbook is not what I care about. It was always you.

 

The reason I was willing to put up with what most women take as a clear and obvious sign of an extreme lack of interest, is because I knew for a fact that you were perfectly content to pay for things up until you told your mother about us.

 

I am nearly certain that she then suggested that a "good test" would be to stop paying for things. That it would mean that I was a gold digger if it bothered me.

 

Which is why I didn't break up with you over it. Because I knew that you had outside help with that one.

 

But the point. I am not a gold digger. I am not out for massive prosperity. As long as I have a roof over my head, and the necessities plus a few fun things as affordable, I'm good.

 

Just a newsflash. A bulletin.

 

In case you thought you were well over me because of a couple possible misconceptions about who I am or what was important to me.

[loveiswar101]

Tomorrow will be one month since you said that was it. I am struggling still everyday without you. Why oh why didn't we communicate better. It was foolish. I guess you have a big family and friend base and will survive with out probably a scar. I on the other hand have hardly anyone. I am sad, scared and lonely without you. But I guess that doesn't matter or otherwise you would make an effort. I miss you.

[AnyaNova]

I think I know why I'm willing to go into such detail here, where usually I would be loathe to do any such thing.

 

I did not get to see anywhere close to what I was losing until that last night and I had so many thoughts about it and your iron willed insitence on NC made me feel like I'd been dumped with all this stuff and effectively gagged. Forced to keep silent about it all wih the one I most needed to talk about it with.

 

I know you are not reading these. But it helps me feel like I am ripping off the gag.

 

Dysfunction junction. Look it up in the dictionary. There is a picture of you and I. Maybe as I held you on that last night as you shook and cried.

 

Even so. I do not miss you. And once I have said all I needed to say by the end of break, I will speak of you no more.

 

Once the gag is completely off, I will willingly invoke a vow of silence about you.

[freebird31]

I hate the way that you broke up with me...

Edited January 4, 2014 by freebird31

[Phanpooh]

Missing you but not enough....

[DownNtOut]

C,

 

I wish i could turn off my feelings for you.

I cant and it is such a mess.

Still thinking of you everyday

A smile turns to tears in a daydream

[mantlefan]

Only the 4th day of NC after a 5 year RS that ended over 5 months ago. Thank you for whoever started this thread. I will likely be back.

[sickoflove11]

Well 3 weeks ago we saw each other and you told me we'd see each other again in only 2 weeks. Of course we never saw each other and now I'm leaving.

 

You could probably care less and you have all your friends here to keep busy.

Hopefully getting out of this town will help me forget you, but I doubt it.

I haven't heard from you yet this year.. Maybe it's for the best we've both decided NC. It's just so sudden and unexpected but it's time to start healing after 6 months already of you stringing me along. I hated seeing you drive in our neighborhood yesterday.. I don't know if you even saw me not that it matters but I'm starting to wonder since you never contacted me like you normally would have. It's bothering me that I had to see you and feel that pain when you probably didn't see me or feel anything at all!

 

I tell myself you've already found someone new so that maybe it will make it easier on me to move one. I'll tell myself anything to get over you.

[AnyaNova]

That last night, you were too much of a coward to tell me how you so obviously felt about me before sending me away.

 

I will not forget that.

[Xemyd]

I can't help but look over expecting you to be there. I still feel like you're present in my everyday life. I miss you.

[mantlefan]

I am going NC now for me, not to hurt you. I need you out of my head.

[The Situation]

I miss you.

 

Simple as that.

[wistfulgirl]

Wish I could forget you. You're the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing before I go to sleep. How could you say all those things and make me fall in love with you, then walk away from me without looking back. Do you remember what we shared and how we used to be? And the last night we were together, when we lay in bed talking all night and you told me you loved me....if I'd have known that would be the last time I'd see you I wouldn't have been able to walk out the door. You have hurt me more than you'll ever know, but I'll always love you till the day I die xxx

[Mondmellonw]

You are not winning the battle.

You're not making me think I'm the crazy here.

You suck.

[Hoosfoos]

There's nothing I should say to her right now. I know I'm losing it. But I am standing firm in not contacting her.

[loveiswar101]

I will do my best to keep going. I know you have a lot on in the coming months and the test will be if you contact me or not.

 

You say I am a beautiful person and you love me.

 

You said you would contact me in the New Year but the test will be if you do!

 

If not I guess I have my answer and will do my hardest to love and forget you.

[AnyaNova]

You were a lovable cowardly lion, I'll give you that. I know it must seem like I say these things mean spiritedly, I do not.

 

I think I have gotten to the point where I can smile and be happy about the good times without getting sad.

 

I think the next guy, I would like to be somewhat like you, but with more internal fortitude.

 

I hope you can see the reality of what you have given up in me. I would have loved you wholeheartedly.

 

Now another man will receive that gift. And the one truly worthy of it will stay forever.

Edited January 5, 2014 by AnyaNova

[kat1012]

I still care about you. I dunno if I love you anymore, but seriously wtf does love even means.

 

when you told me you were at the hospital becoz some dude smahsed the bottle in your face and you needed stitches, I admit I did laugh, but then I was hoping you were ok. When you "jokingly" drunk asked me to go to the hospital, or help you with the stitches, whether i can do stitches, for a second I did think of jumping off the subway and take a cab to go there and see you. But then I was not gonna do it, because we were not together anymore and you hurt me bad when you broke up with me. And then you called me the next day asking me how to take care of the wound, I realized I missed talking to you on the phone, the last time we did that it was when you broke up with me, and i still rmb every word you said. I didnt want the phone conversation to end, but the same time I have finished telling you how to take care of the wound and you didnt seem to have any more questions to ask me. When you said "thanks for the help, I appreciate your help." I was speechless and then replied with an awkward "thanks..." and you chuckled (becoz i know I shd say "u're welcome") but then when we were still together, I kept bitching to my friends how unappreciative or ungrateful you can be at times. so it caught me a bit off guard when you said that. I then questioned myself maybe I really was reading into things too much and mistakenly take you as someone unappreciative (which then lead to our "talk")

 

I know you are just taking me as your doormat, and that once your stitches are off, you wont even bothered to find me again. But I do realize I still care about you, I mean for god's sake I answer every single damned ques with a detailed answer and even do bloodly googling for you.

 

I keep asking myself, if we seem to be able to get along now and before things went bad, why did it even go wrong in the first place.

Is it really just me reading into things too much, leading me to talk to you about you playing on your phone.

Sorta accusing you that you didnt really care by saying "I thought you want me to be happy but then you were just drunk" when all you did was just tell me to be happy (yea I wasnt still happy with wt you said that weekend, and I was so happy when you told me to be happy and then 1 min later you told me that you are drunk, and how you are not that drunk but drunk enough to harass me and judge me).

And that time I stupidly bring up you calling me an alcoholic and how you dont get to becoz u drink much more than me (because I just wanna win ==)

And I didnt mean to be unsupportive when you texted me at 2am after drinking that you were going to gym the next morning. I just dun think you can because last time what happened when we both planned to go to the beach. and that I sorta think you will be tired and then will say you dun wanna do anything after drinking the previous night and gym in the morning.

 

I am sorry for all the above things. I know it might not just be these things, but I just wanna say I am sorry if I have been a bitch for doing the above.

 

I could have told you to use hydorgen peroxide on your face. I could have told you that you can get it wet right away, I could have just ignored you. I still care about you. and I missed what we had. I keep thinking if we got second chance, will it work this time now that i realize how it went wrong.

 

You probably just see me as a doormat for possible free medical service in the future. but i still care about you and this is why i am still doing this. whenever I ran into you, I wanna talk more and catch up more with you. Whenever I am in the same climbing event with you, I wanna talk to you more, but I know I cant becoz of what happened between us.

 

This is what I wanna say to you. and i know I cant and will not ever say what i just typed to you.

[Softie]

Low life

Bad man

@$$ wipe

Waste of space

 

Your not the person I thought you were. And are just full of total BS.

 

Good luck trying to find anyone like me, as great as me, as interesting as me, wiling to put up with you & your job, and as loving & giving as me. You know you won't & will probably come back at some point. Ill be gone.

 

You won't change.

Edited January 5, 2014 by Softie
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[im_thedude]

I wish you were still in my life. I wish I knew how you felt about me. I wish we could just talk, nearly half a year later. I wish I could text or call you without you thinking I'm going to hurt you or that I'm some psycho - fears completely unfounded.

 

I don't know what your situation is in your personal life, whether there is the same guy still in the picture or what. All I know is, I miss you and I'm sorry if my lack of grace after you left me has caused you to hate me.

[AnyaNova]

I wish you were still in my life. I wish I knew how you felt about me. I wish we could just talk, nearly half a year later. I wish I could text or call you without you thinking I'm going to hurt you or that I'm some psycho - fears completely unfounded.

 

I don't know what your situation is in your personal life, whether there is the same guy still in the picture or what. All I know is, I miss you and I'm sorry if my lack of grace after you left me has caused you to hate me.

 

I wish my ex and I could be friends and talk sometimes too.

[Mondmellonw]

You have no feelings...

Just for your cat, perhaps.

 

 

 

I pity you.

I wish I never met you.