Post here instead of contacting your ex!

December 31, 2013

Hey dumbfuvk my best friend just told me what you told her in august about my internship. That your dumb job is supposedly more important than my internship. Guess what ashole? I applied for my internship with NOBODY's help. I drafted my cv and sent in my application. Unlike you you dumbfuvk who needed me and S and N to help you with every bloody application. At this moment I feel like slapping you. Do not ever forget the people who led you to the place you are. You are a sick human being that is a disgrace to humanity.

Dumbfuvk...hee, hee, hee

December 31, 2013

You are firmly pushed off the tortured sensitive pedestal.

And down on the ground as a guy who chose his own comfort in being who his parents always wanted him to be instead of being himself, and of protecting him and his partner's feelings for each other (and yes, on that last night it was very clear we were broken up in name only) and standing up and being first and foremost, himself.

You couldn't do this. It was too much for you.

But notice is given. Now that I know I won't be spending my life a depressed puddle on the floor with no energy and all kinds of physical symptoms, I can put that love back where it needs to go after you walked away, myself, my abilities, and all those who still choose to stay in my life and those who choose to enter it.

January 1, 2014

I didn't wish you Merry Xmas or Happy New Year. I havn't spoken to you in so long. The urge to say something....to try to express myself to you was lost some time back in 2013 when I started to realise that no matter what I said you weren't coming back. This is really it, no more checking my emails or looking at your facebook profile for signs of how you are doing in life. I also stand by my word when I say that even if you did contact me at this point in time I would have told you to F*ck Off.....its a shame you never gave me the opportunity but nevermind.

You were once my true love and maybe one day I'll look back in fondness of the times we shared together but now the time has come for me to get on with 2014, hit my goals and targets, completely forget about you and spend absolutely zero time thinking about you or checking up on you through social media. I have proven to myself that I don't need you any more and hopefully the zero contact I have given you for the past 6 months is an indication to you that I am doing fine without you.

That's it. Nothing more to add.

January 1, 2014

New years alone. Wish I could spend it with you.

January 1, 2014

Don't call me your ex, I'm not your anything.

January 1, 2014

I was sleeping so good and you managed to ruin it again.

January 1, 2014

I miss you so much, but I don't want to anymore, I want to hate you, I want to forget how happy we were. I wish we had had problems, I wish we had fought so I could focus on the nagatives.

I thought you would contact me last night, just like every night, but again I woke up disappointed.

I refuse to chase you, you have my number, you live barely a minute away, you know how to find me. When you broke up with me you have me hope by saying "I'd rather end it now on good terms just in case things work out". I wish you would have just told me you didn't want me anymore, then I could move on. I'm stuck thinking you'll come back. I desperately want to text you and ask if you meant it or you were just trying to let me down easy, but it's been 3.5 months since our break up, and over a month NC, I don't want to admit to you that I'm miserable. I am miserable. I fake it everyday, no one knows I'm miserable, I don't let anyone close enough to realize.

I know I'll get better eventually and that I'll find someone new who can make me happy, I just hope it's soon.

January 1, 2014

C,

i thought about you over Christmas and new year. i hoped so much you would text me. i can only imagine you are with your new boyfriend, probably having a great time. i wish things could have worked out for us. i let you down and when i realised how much i was in love with you, i almost won you back. you were fair to me and offered me friendship.

i cant wait around to be an option, i dont want you to feel sorry for me. you are my best friend but your someone else' girl now. i told you i cant see you anymore. i love you C. be happy

January 1, 2014

New year. New life. New man (hopefully sometime this year).

But any man who doesn't have the courage to get to know himself if he doesn't already, or to stand up for himself if he does already, is not fundamentally a man equipped to be able to be with me.

As difficult as it would have been, I think you'd fundamentally be having a happier new Year if you had chosen to stay true to yourself and your feelings.

But I wil be the bigger person.

Though I never would break the NC you clearly desire ( I'm sure any reminder of me brings up all those nasty feelings from your true self you keep trying to quash)

Happy new year.

I hope you get the help you need to stand up to your parents and be yourself and to date who you choose and to show your parents you can still love them But be a fundamentally different person than they are.

Don't lie to yourself and tell yourself the things you said to me about that aren't true.

You know they are.

But take this year, even if its obviously not going to involve me, to become the man you actually are. I know neither you or your parents realize this; but trying to be someone you're not is going to fundamentally cripple you. You will be so anxiety filled about always making the right moves and saying the right things and alwYs the fear that you will be spotted as an imposter.

He irony is, is that this Pygmalion project which has so wounded you, is all in he name of trying to help you be in heir eyes a s luccessful person...

When in reality you have the truest shot of being successful and happy in life; by truly being yourself.

I really wish you were reading these and taking these to heart. I know that you're not.

And I am sorry, Tim.

I am sorry that I didn't know how badly deficient I was. I'm sorry that my physical state impaired my brain enough to not be able to catch where you were at, how really unready you were at that time for a relationship, and how badly my insistence on you beig yourself would frighten you and for e you to confront how much of yourself you engiven away wholesale over the years.

If I'd had my brain, intact, I could have prevented the whole mess, given the lets just be friends speech, and then I could be there right now as your friend; helping you as you begin to look at who you are.

I feel like in some ways this whole mess is my fault, and the fact that we are no longer in each others' lives is my fault.

If only my brain had been able to function properly. If only I'd been healthy.

Edited January 1, 2014 by AnyaNova

January 1, 2014

A new year. I spent it thinking of you. A new opportunity came with another person but, my mind is still holding on to you, when I say my mind I mean me. Why if I know you dont want me, and in all honesty I know you despise, do I want you.

This last year was too much, and I can only wish that this new one brings with it a much needed improvement in my life. I strive for it.

I need to:

-Let you go

-Change jobs

-Find friends

-Learn skills

-Get stronger

My sadness grows too much and too big for me to handle, and I am working on that. Sometimes I wonder whats the point to life, if its more of the same, if anything it can get worse and why would I want to be around for that.

Where is my happiness. Where do I go. I miss you Andrea, because I felt you held all these answers and now I am adrift.

2014. I dont know. I am not an optimist. But I have tasks and I have things to do and people who depend on me. For now this is what drives me. Miss you. Be happy.

Mario.

January 1, 2014

Hey J.,

How are you baby. I miss you so very much. I really miss you. I wish you would stop drinking and be with me instead. I could make you happy.

January 1, 2014

D,

There is actually no point in writing to you. I do not want to talk to you EVER again, because you used me, you lied to me and you would never admit that. You would scold me that I have no trust in you, not noticing how absurd this is. You are married, my dear, and told me you were single. It was so easy to believe because before me you dated some other woman. Your betrayed wife will never know that you are a cheating husband, because I tried to contact her while you are at her side, having a nice Christmas trip to Prague. So I guess she never read the messages, because you saw them first. Or if she saw it you made her believe that I am nothing to you and there was nothing between us and then let her block the channel. Or that I am the only women you dated during the last year. Well I could tell her there were at least two other. I could tell her that you are telling everyone you are single and searching for someone to love, to settle down, to raise a familiy.

You lie when you open your mouth. You are so used to it, I guess you believe yourself that all you say is true. You would never have told me that you are married if you wouldn't have been worn out by your cold the other day and if wouldn't have continued questioning you.

My dear, I am not an affair. And I am not as stupid that I would believe you anything again. My heart may be that stupid, but I still have brains, and they are working quite good, as long as you, Mr. brainwasher, Mr. compulsive lying narcisstic sociopath, are not by my side. It was actually very kind of you to go on that three-weeks Christmas holiday somewhere in Europe with your wife. So I had time starting to cope with the fact that I have been betrayed. And that you are ... I don't have words for it.

So why do you think I stopped contacting you? Because I am such an understanding mistress? F&%§ you! So spare me NYE texts because you will never will get one back! Don't you dare to call me when you are back in Germany! Better never come back! Get lost somewhere in the croatian mountains and get eaten by wild animals! This would be also the best for your wife, so she can get widow's pension. And I am not "Yours", as.s.hol.e!!

January 1, 2014

Something tells me she's in the anger phase.

Dumbfuvk...hee, hee, hee

January 1, 2014

Well well well. Isnt it true that as soon as you move on your ex gets in touch. Today I got the infamous "happy new year" text from you. I remembered how you told me last year that you send out a mass "text to all" so thats likely why i got it as I'm sure you didn't reach out for any reason. I do know now that you haven't deleted my number, but I wish you would. I never want to be part of your life ever again so I do hope you delete me. If I get one more communication of any kind I'm blocking you, something I shouldve done at the outset of NC but didn't because i didn't think you were worth the effort at the time. Plus I figured you would never contact me given how you disrespected me during our RS.

As I look back on the past year, I am thankful that we did cross paths because I'm better for having known you - without you I never would've learned how to overcome betrayal and find my own happiness.

I hope you change your hurtful ways and heal your past wounds that caused you to be so careless. I hope you find peace and happiness. I hope you leave me be because I have moved on.

Thank you. Happy New Year to you too.

January 2, 2014

It was so nice to see you the other night bunny and it was a lovely dinner and time together. You asked me in for a cuppa and I said no, can't believe I did, but I did. Maybe I understand maybe not.

You said maybe the new year is a new leaf for both us but I know you want space and you will have it. Doesn't mean I don't miss you and you are in my thoughts as always.

Happy New Year !

January 2, 2014

You aren't worth my emotions, and will never see me suffer, never.

January 2, 2014

Why can't you fight for me? I've never wanted marriage, but you changed my mind, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I would have done anything and everything for you. Things were perfect, and you're home now, there's no more distance between us, why won't you come back?

I hate going to bed. I can still feel you, I can feel your arm around me. Sometimes I wake up and turn around expecting you to be there, but you aren't. Are you suffering like I am? What if you're thinking the same as me, are you waiting for me to call? Probably not... I wish I had told you how I felt, maybe you broke up with me because you thought I didn't care. I loved you though and tried to tell you so many times but I was scared, I was scared you didn't love me and I didn't want to get hurt, but I did anyways.

You gave up, but I let you go, I didn't say anything. I thought by playing it cool and not breaking down that it would make this easier, that we'd still talk. I didn't want to be the psycho ex girlfriend. Is there even a proper way to handle a break up?

It's so hard being home alone knowing you're just down the street. I miss cuddling on your super uncomfortable couches. I miss your massages, sometimes I feel like my body aches for them.

I wanted to marry you, and I feel like I should do everything I can to get back together, but you ended it with me, you have to be the one to fight.

Edited January 2, 2014 by Xemyd

January 2, 2014

I don't know what to think. You say that things were innocent between you and him. I want to believe you. Yet, regardless of what the truth may be, you still push me away. And then I get angry and upset and you hold it against me. I am so sick of the roller coaster. I am tired of the ups and downs. One minute you say that you still love me and in the next moment you complain about me and push me away.

I don't know what the hell you want and I know that you don't know either. How much more suffering am I going to allow myself to go through over you? The answer is just to let go. I can't make you love me or want me. I can't control how you react. I can't make you not want to hang out with your "friend". And now you are ignoring me and I can't make you stop that either. All of these worries, concerns and fear are beyond my control. I can't do anything about them. The only thing I can do is relax my emotional grip and let go regardless the outcome.

All I can do anymore is just let go.

January 2, 2014

I don't know what to think. You say that things were innocent between you and him. I want to believe you. Yet, regardless of what the truth may be, you still push me away. And then I get angry and upset and you hold it against me. I am so sick of the roller coaster. I am tired of the ups and downs. One minute you say that you still love me and in the next moment you complain about me and push me away.

I don't know what the hell you want and I know that you don't know either. How much more suffering am I going to allow myself to go through over you? The answer is just to let go. I can't make you love me or want me. I can't control how you react. I can't make you not want to hang out with your "friend". And now you are ignoring me and I can't make you stop that either. All of these worries, concerns and fear are beyond my control. I can't do anything about them. The only thing I can do is relax my emotional grip and let go regardless the outcome.

All I can do anymore is just let go.

I wish you could see what I see. She is stringing you both along. Even if she hasn't done anything with him yet, she is essentially spendin this time either trying to figure out which one of you she wants, or she is using you to get over you. She's stringing you both along and somehow in her mind, her selfish 'confusion" trumps both the pain she is causing you now. As well as he broken heart or hearts if she chooses neither of you.

But you deserve someone for whom you'd be their unequivocal first choice. Someone who was upfront enough in her dealings to completely break it off wih one guy before moving on to the next.

Someone who doesn't push/pull all the time.

Someone who actually truly loves you and not selfish loves you.

Because I can tell you this without needing a crystal ball or any knowdge of her. If she truly loved you, she would want what is best for you. And because of that, she would let you go and go NC until her mind was completely made up.

If she was classy. If she was able to truly love.

I'm not saying she is a bad person, just that right now she is in a place where her own pain, her own "drama" as it were, makes it nearly impossible to see anybody else's needs as equal to her own.

I am sorry.

Edited January 2, 2014 by AnyaNova
Autocorrect and I are going to have words!

January 2, 2014

Though I may continue to post a tiny bit on this thread, at least until break is over, the two posts with Calexico/Iron and Wine songs and the poem I was going to write, I will not do.

I will not waste my time on them.

Yes, I am fairly certain that your parents either used the monetary power they had over you, or just plain old manipulation, to make you send me away (suppose small chance of it being all you and major attachment issues, though. But I doubt that).

But the man I thought I knew, the man I thought I loved, would never have accepted the sop, the bribe, of that digital projector set. The man I thought I knew and loved would have rejected it on general principle. Above and beyond the principles inherent in accepting that sort of thing after giving up a love interest, I would hope that pure condescension inherent in the attitude of "lets keep little Timmy (32 year old little Timmy) happy by giving this after what we took from him'" would be enough to cause you to reject if for your own self respect.

So those posts, that poem I was going to write, would have been worth my time for a man who rejected his parents' attempt to bribe him and essentially shut him up (with a small acknowledgement that it is slightly possible that my read of the situation is.not correct) and reward him for yet again denying everything about himself to make them happy.

But so not worth my time, now the I have the beginnings of true energy and health, for someone who clearly was not even close to the man I thought I knew and loved.

With confidence and plenty of B vitamins, I can say I will be more than over you by the time break is done.

Edited January 2, 2014 by AnyaNova

January 2, 2014

Told my ex about a month ago that I wasn't ready to talk to him. Gave myself a little time to get over my emotions. Still upset but couldn't stand to not talk to him anymore.

I called and left a message and he called me right back. Now I'm waiting....

Waiting to see what happens next. Just seems endless, and I want to talk to him so badly.

The tough thing about this is also that I don't know what the H.. I'm doing.

January 2, 2014

D,

so, you are back from your lovely holiday? What a pity, I wish you stayed away forever. Stop calling me! Stop texting me! There is nothing to "discuss"! You lied to me! I gave you a second chance, you did not take it, you chose to go on that vaction. Sorry, no third chances available. So stop contacting me!

January 2, 2014

I can't seem to shut my brain off today, you're all I can focus on. My head hurts and I feel sick over this. I just wish you'd call, tell me you want to get back together. I want to tell you I need time, that I'm not sure. I would take you back in a heartbeat but I know I'd need to make you wait.

I feel like I'm going backwards.

January 2, 2014

I miss you bunny, you ask for space and I will try, it's so hard, you are in my thoughts constantly and I miss you.

January 3, 2014

I say this with no malice. I say this realizing perhaps I do not fully understand the situation or my read is incorrect.

I will also not say this without pointing out that you are very sweet, dedicated, and intelligent.

But you are rather spineless. And until you can remedy this and stand up to your parents (not aimlessly or without reason, only when necessary) you will never be able to have a healthy relationship with any woman ever.

And in your current spinal-lacking condition,

I don't want you.

Sign In

Post here instead of contacting your ex!

Recommended Posts

CopingGal

AnyaNova

L1ght

Frank13

MoooOinkBaaa

JDPT

Xemyd

DownNtOut

AnyaNova

Mario79

CopingGal

LornaFE

headinthecloud

headinthecloud

loveiswar101

JDPT

Xemyd

JoelBarish

AnyaNova

AnyaNova

tink_10050

LornaFE

Xemyd

loveiswar101

AnyaNova

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...