Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[AnyaNova]

I powered through all that work for that class in the wake of the devastation of the semester that the B vitamin deficiencies caused, once I had the B vitamin shots.

 

I worked my butt off. I was proud of myself.

 

And now, between the printer issues with the rough draft (I did prove to him that I had a rough draft ready to go by sending it to him by classtime, but by the time I got a rough draft printed, by the time I would have gotten there, class would have been over), and a misunderstanding with the article critiques...

 

Despite his compliment to my research design, and saying that I accounted for all the important variables and suggesting that my experiment's results were valid, apparently I may not pass the class.

 

He said that if I could find the articles of both types checked in my documents, that I could pass. But I can only find one. In a few minutes, I will go take that one to him and see what he says and try and make a case for myself.

 

But right now, (even though I won't) I really kind of want to die.

 

I mean what is the ****ing point of working my butt off to make sure that I got everything in and made up for all that lost time from the vitamin crashes only to fail because I thought I was turning in exactly what he told me I needed to?

[Zoyalover]

Dear _____,

 

I miss you so much, more than mere words can express. You and your daughter meant the world to me. I am struggling big time today with not being in contact with you, I don't really know why, maybe it was that dream of you that I had last night and the wedding and proposal that I witnessed yesterday. I love you still with all of me. I just wished we could have worked things out. Why can't we just work through our differences and be together? Isn't that what love does? Conquers all? I hope you are okay and that ________ is too. I love and miss you guys so much. We had so much fun and so many good times together. Although I know that we might not have made it, it still would have been nice to see if we could have made it over that hump. My heart longs for your kind of love. I wonder if someone else can love me like you did... I'm sad but I still feel hopeful that I can and will get through this.

[sniperz]

Oh hear ye, second ex? What the heck? You still lied to your feelings and gave way to a loser so thus makes you the same. I'm so happy and super confident enough to get my third girlfriend in line that will have less problems then you. For god's sake, are you manipulated? Too hurt or nevertheless you can't live single at all? You lied. You will regret your actions and you befriend that kind of group. Glad I dumped you. Your just too cheap!

[im_thedude]

I saw you in the store I work at last night.

 

Ugh, a part of me wants to find some way to bury the hatchet with you. But logically I know that it's a lost cause and I definitely shouldn't be the one to initiate **** with you.

 

I am sorry for how I acted, trolling your social media a few weeks ago. I am sorry for all the irrational **** I did following the end of the relationship. My apologies end there, though - you destroyed the relationship with your selfishness and lack of compassion. You still remain delusional about what happened. The sad thing is, you'll never get any other perspective other than your own warped one.

 

I want to knock you off your high horse so bad right now. I would kick you while you were down. That's how badly I feel you've wronged me.

 

The reality of it is, I know I will never forgive you. We can never be friends, we can never be together. There will always be an acute tinge of pain when I think of you. That's the blight you left spread over our relationship that I tried so hard to make work. That relationship which you chose to let burn on the side of the road, complaining the heat was making you sweat.

 

You're burned into my memory, but you feel like a stranger. It's hard to believe, four months ago you were cuddled into my arms. Now, you're already doing the same with another man. All the while I meddle in ****ty online dating websites, struggling to get noticed by narcissistic girls starved for attention. I do it for the sole intention of getting my mind over you. I'm so jealous of how quickly you've seemingly moved on.

Edited December 17, 2013 by im_thedude

[ElectricTangerine]

I know this is amplified by my PMS, but I really miss you right now.

[AnyaNova]

So here is the state of affairs.

 

1) laptop crash. Threw off entire last night and this morning.

2) so I just got home wih my new printer, a version of word that actually works with 8 and 8.1 (vista word I was running before theorized as cause of crash), and am downloading word, getting my printer set up and then writing those 2 article critiques as a sign of my good faith and I guess I will meet wih him tomorrow.

 

This is it, though! This is the absolute last thing this evil little triumvirate of capricious gods (calcium, magnesium, and B vitamins) get to take from me. Even if I have to mainline them!!!!!

 

This semester I am drawing the line!

 

I know I told you about those odd days where I'd have actual energy and wondered what the missing link was. It was enough b vitamins. It has been years since I've had enough.

 

Anyway, no more of this.

 

And if I lose my place here, I will go somewhere else and start again, and wih the help of a doctor who specializes in celiac/gluten issues, I will succeed.

 

And I have promised myself, for my own self-esteem and dignity, if that happens, when and I mean when I graduate from said program, I will send each professor from this semester within my program an invitation to that graduation.

 

Either way this goes, they will see that I have what it takes.

 

Now I have to update again.

 

This may take while.

 

I'd like to get the two critiques written and the stats done tonight, if possible.

 

Argh!!! Word won't open. I can't write in libraries, too many people. Too much distraction. I hope my computer works soon!!!!

 

:-(

 

Friday can't come fast enough in my book.

 

Wonder if you will think of me over the holidays.

 

I am so tired.

[AnyaNova]

 

I know that I don't need to be fixed. I know relationships don't and shouldn't work like that.

 

But I feel like I've lost so much this semester, and only in the last three or four weeks have I experienced anything close to true health, or what my mind can do, and I expended so much energy to get done the little that I did before the b vitamin shots, that I feel so wasted and tired and I just wish that I had someone to come home to, someone's arms to just utterly collapse in.

 

This must have been what you felt like after you started to get your energy back after having mono.

 

I almost wish that we hadn't started dating until September. I think we could have had a much better chance with at least one of us running on a full energy deck!

[AnyaNova]

[AnyaNova]

After all the stress and tension, I let myself sleep in today. In just a minute I will shower and get ready, at 11, I will take a slow mag and then I will go speak to professors.

 

I am scared.

 

I've had something really real and bad, with physical evidence to prove it, but I am not sure that's going to be enough.

 

At least my doctor at home is down with the b vitamin shots and will be providing those when I am visiting.

 

A little of me does miss you, but I just have to observe that part of me and not get caught up in it. You made your choice and no matter what it cost or is costing you, you are sticking to it.

 

Well.

 

I will find me a man who will love me enough to face every one of his personal demons down in order to stay with me.

 

Clearly,

 

You didn't.

[letsplaygofish2]

Dear John,

It was my birthday yesterday, I secretly wished you had called or texted to wish me a happy birthday. But you didn't. And deep down, I'm a bit disappointed and hurt by that. I remember when we celebrated your birthday, you had recently lost a friend and so I made dinner for us. It was a nice simple evening. Do you remember the days when we would cuddle on the couch and just "be" with each other? For some reason, you stopped doing that because you were always watching TV. I guess I could have learned to express myself better, but you weren't doing a great job either.

 

How is your project going? Did you sell your car yet? Anyway, just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you on my birthday. Hope you're doing well.

 

Me.

[deponie12]

What I don't miss about YOU!

 

Your bad breath

Your selfishness

Your lies

Your cheating

Your swearing ( using the F word in ever sentence at least 10 times in the sentence)

Calling me a whore

Calling me a ****ing bitch

Stalking me on social media

Your conversations ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!!!!!

Your farting while on the phone with me and asking if I heard that

You talking about taking a dump

burping in my ear while I am on the phone with you

your always asking me for photos so you can whack off to them

always telling me your hard and horny

laziness ( example instead of going out to the store to buy laundry detergent you wash your clothes in Dawn liquid soap in the washer) lazy ass!

your no empathy towards people

your funny sounds coming from your throat when you talk

you complaining you are sick with allergies

you telling me what color your snot is

you sending me pictures of your food that you are about to eat

your immature stories while hanging out with your immature friends

you not ever giving me a card for my b-day

your passive aggressive ways

your lack of loyalty to ANYONE

 

 

*whew* I feel better to get that all out. day 46 NC!

[lofi_tokyo]

Here I am again, damnit!

 

I left you because I felt I had to.

 

I miss you. I'm sorry. I wish I could come back, but I know that I need to let you move on. I need to move on.

 

In the end I was shocked by how much you loved me. You pushed me away for so long... when I finally decided it was time to go, you told me how you didn't want to be a lone wolf anymore. You liked having me around. You thought we'd grow old together. But I spent so long, P, waiting to be told I was wanted and wasn't a burden. By the time you were okay showing me what I needed, I had lost all hope. You told me after I'd decided it was time to go.

 

You needed someone patient, and I was for three years. I wanted to be waiting for you with open arms when you finally opened up, but sadly, I was worn down and had to leave.

 

When I started dating someone new, someone who was open to putting their feelings and heart on the line, I felt like a starved kid who finally was getting food. It was weird - it was as if I'd forgotten how to eat all together. I distinctly remember not knowing how to talk about my emotions, because asking for emotional feedback had been forbidden for so long. I'm trying to let this new relationship grow, because it's what I was waiting on.

 

So, P. I found someone else, someone who is everything I needed you to be. I'm pretty happy. But, I can't help but miss you. You didn't mean to hurt me, or hurt us, I know. And I know I made a lot of mistakes too. I probably committed bigger offenses in the end - after all, I left just as we were at a point to be our best ever.

 

Yup. I sure do miss you. I wish I could come home.

 

Life's funny, isn't it? This breakup has taught me so much, and I can tell that I'm in for learning a whole lot more from it yet. I sometimes wonder how things would be if we had stayed together, but I know that we would have broken up eventually - I only really started to appreciate what we had once I left, and it was only with space that I realized we maybe could have solved things. What I wouldn't give to have a frank talk with you, but that would be selfish! I'm seeing someone new, I have to let you move on, I have to move on, and I need to learn to love someone else.

Edited December 18, 2013 by tokyovogue

[BlessYourCottonSocks]

I miss you so much. I almost contacted you tonight, but I stayed strong. I have to. You don't love me that way. Things didn't end that well with us, it's a shame. But I will always care for you and think about you.

 

Goodbyes are never easy, but this one is impossible.

[SameOldFear]

You were a bad kisser- the goal isn't to shove your tongue as far down the throat of the other person as possible. I faked every single orgasm. You never wanted to hang out and were always sleepy. Your friends are shady. I always had to pay anytime we went anywhere. You're not good. Your life is about to crumble.

[Mario79]

I miss you Andrea. Why can I just not think about you, why can I just let you go and go back to my old life. Instead I was left in shambles and even now that I got rid of my engagement ring I cant forget you. What is worst its just that amount of event that followed our break up. I used to think luck or karma could not be real, but I feel this year is cursed. So much has been going wrong, that I cant even begin to understand. I am sad.

 

You were born on the 25th of December, and I have to think of you on this particular day, remember last year, we celebrated. We had fun. It was our day.

 

I hate feeling like this.

[Softie]

Miss some company, miss the laughs, don't really miss you & your *****ty attitude towards me & my love to be honest. When I say it's your loss, it really is, you will never know love like I gave you as no one would put up with what I did & you friggin know it. Probably why you where arsie/moody when I wanted my things back.

[love1336x]

3 months and not a word from you.

[falxmanolo]

Hey G (oh yes I said it gangsta)

 

How was it so freakin easy to change numbers/block me on Facebook/DUMP me on facebook but wear the hermes tie I bought you for your stupid office party?! HOW? Did not you feel the tie strangling your neck? Did you not remember the night of your birthday I made two cakes for you and threw a surprise party and invited ALL your friends and bought them all beers and doritos because YOU love guiness?

 

 

How can you forget about my existence and still flaunt the **** I got you?! Do you even remember the person you pumped up your pathetic ego when you were applying for jobs?! Do you remember I made you apply to that investment bank!! Do you?!? Do you remember the number of days I skipped lectures to help you do your applications?! Do you remember I stayed with you over Xmas so that you I could be of support to you? Do you remember I used to wake up at 5 am on the days you had your interview to drop you off at the coach station with food! Ugh, I feel so stupid. How could you be so heartless to the girl who loved you and cared about you so much? HOW COULD YOU DAMMIT?

 

How can you be so selfish?! I cannot ever forgive myself for embarrassing myself and making a fool out of myself! I am such a stupid moron!

 

I hope you're so happy with that new girl! I hope you don't ****ing screw her over like you screwed me over!

 

G you told me you were saving up for an engagement ring two weeks before you broke up with me.. wth man.. why did you lead me on?

 

Whatever, I threw away the satchel and stitch (sorry) because I was so hurt and mad that after a year you could do what you did and in the end, you turned out to have NEVER loved me. Because people who love each other don't dump them on Facebook or use them for money! I felt like some slag! How could you?

 

How can you wake up everyday feeling good? How can you live your life knowing how much pain you caused me? JUST HOW? Did God forget to give you a heart?

 

Whatever G, I really hope this never happens to you because you're far too weak to handle rejection and also, it's horrendous. No one deserves to be led on, no one deserves this. I also hope you get all you want in life

[Shaine]

I wonder what you've been doing lately. Do you think of me sometimes? I tried to stalk you using my mom's fb. After that i blocked you on her fb.

 

Do you ever think of me? I feel that we're totally strangers now. I still think of you, but i dont miss you. I just want to stop wondering about you.

 

You know what's hard? Never getting a chance to say a proper goodbye. I am moving on now. But i feel like there's an unfinished business. I just want to know what happened to you after the break up. I know that i will never like you again. But i am curious to know what happened to you. And i want us to say a proper goodbye to each other. Is it that hard to do?

[falxmanolo]

Wtf G?!

 

How the hell do you have the heart to be a dick to me and then go party every single day?!?! I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU FOR TRYING TO BREAK ME. But I will be fabulous. I will be what I was after you happened and take a lesson to NEVER put a guy before my needs. I HATE YOU. I hope you feel the tie strangling your neck when you wear it. I HATE YOU SO MUCH I COULD SLAP YOU. If I saw you on the road, I would walk away like you never frickin existed in my life.

 

I HATE YOU. I wish to never see or hear from you ever again in my frickin life. We are frickin over. DON'T YOU DARE EVER COME BACK.

 

AND YOU DUMBASS, AT LEAST FOR THE SAKE OF DECENCY YOU SHOULD HAVE SENT MY THINGS WITHOUT MAKING ME TO BEG YOU. YOU ARE A SICK TWISTED MEAN PERSON. YOU DESERVED YOUR EX-EX, SOMEONE WHO CALLED YOU FAT, SOMEONE WHO FOUND FAULTS WITH YOU. I TREATED YOU LIKE A FRICKIN KING. I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU. I HATE HOW I STILL CARE ABOUT YOU. I HATE HOW MY HEART SKIPS A BEAT WHEN I READ ABOUT AN ACCIDENT ON THE UNDERGROUND. I HATE MYSELF FOR CARING ABOUT A DICK LIKE YOU WHO JUST LEFT ME BECAUSE BEING SINGLE WAS SO FRICKIN COOL. I HATE YOU.

 

NO..I hate myself for hating you. I've never felt hate towards anybody I hate how the side of me is brought by you. Or is it me? Maybe hatred is okay? Maybe hatred was made for people like you? Maybe the more I hate you, the lesser I will hurt. I hate the word hate. I really don't like you. That's all.

Edited December 21, 2013 by falxmanolo
feeling better, realised swearing is not nice.

[loveiswar101]

I'm still in shock of what has happened, why did you not talk to me, the day before you left you told me you loved me, I was cooking in your kitchen, my only thoughts and concerns were your well being. We were from opposite sides of society but surely we could of got by, I had changed so much, yes I made a few mistakes at end but blow me are there any perfect men out there who don't, following that I embarrassed after 15 mths you just called to say it was over with out the dignity to see me face to face. I loved you with all my heart but guess you did not or we wouldn't be apart now. You've hurt me bunny...

[AnyaNova]

I should have put it together.

 

How did I not see it?

 

You said that you felt more you when you were with me, than with anyone else in your life. You said that you weren't like you were with me, with anyone else in your life.

 

Other similarly intelligent couples take years to really begin to bridge the S/N gap (sensate/intuitive). I should have seen it, when you told me how much you daydreamed. I mean, everybody does, but S's tend to not find it enjoyable. It is not in where they live, the here and now. The concrete. It is more abstract.

 

There is one of the four main categories of MBTI types that is the most utterly susceptible to taking on the agendas of other personality types, to choose to force themselves into the mold, particularly, of their parents' attempts at Pygmalion projects.

 

We know your father was an ISTJ. Your mother, it sounds like, very well might be an ISFJ. And SJ's though having many wonderful gifts, particularly of organization, that the world needs, tend to be the most rigorous in their Pygmalion project attempts, their attempts to force others to become what they deem as the "right" personality.

 

And you, I think, were born an NF. An INFJ. Definitely quite a high F. And furthermore, I think your pattern of self-abnegation and giving yourself up wholesale to your parents' wishes began very early.

 

I don't think we were bridging any communication gap, more than you were learning to speak your own language, so to speak, the native language of your very perceiving type that you were born with.

 

I remember you said also that you had no anxiety around me whatsoever, and I wonder if perhaps a lot of your social anxiety, is simply the anxiety of having to constantly monitor your own responses and suppress your very self and your natural personality tendencies.

 

But how scary that must have been too, especially as I started to suggest that who you were might be different from your parents, and that who you were and the things that you needed and wanted were important.

 

I can definitely say that I am over you. I am ready to date other people. But I would not be completely honest if I didn't admit that there is a small part of me that wishes that I could lie in your arms this Christmas, and talk with you, and laugh, and be there to encourage you as you find you, and know that it is okay to be you whoever that is, and to reassure you, when needed, that it is okay to be an N, and it isn't any lack of loyalty or love for your parents on your part to be the person you were born to be.

 

But you continue to be steadfast in your no contact. And that is the one thing that makes me wonder about my theory here. An ISFJ I could see being completely iron willed in that regard. Perhaps INFJ's could correct me, but I would suspect that they would be more susceptible to breaking no contact, which you haven't yet, and I see no indication that you ever intend to.

 

I read a description that people of my MBTI type and INFJ's tend to not have any big spark or wow. And that was very true of us, and I think it made us both question it. But I think that somehow we both forged a connection that was much stronger than either of us knew, and I don't think either of us realized how much until that night.

 

A little part of me wishes that you could see me on the B vitamins, with my hair growing back and thicker (though slower than I would like, to be fair) and actually having real lips. And having real energy, and not having to front energy that I didn't have.

 

And, to use an analogy that a particularly wise man once used for me, perhaps I am Kashmiri chicken as they serve it at Sher E Punjab, but what you really like is Chinese, or pizza.

 

Perhaps that is true. But Kashmiri chicken really wishes you could see her in the new sweater, pencil skirt, and heels that she just bought tonight.

 

And know what it is you gave up. Particularly perhaps, and I pray not forever,

 

yourself.

[AnyaNova]

I don't know if it is the holidays or the end of the semester and just having more down time to think, or the fact that I am getting a little low (though not as badly, the shots are starting to build up) but I am missing you right now.

 

I wonder if you miss me. If you think about me. I guess it doesn't matter. I wish it did.

 

I wish it mattered to you. I wish I mattered to you.

 

[Haydn]

Got everything ready for Christmas, thought about us last year this time, exchanging gifts, the kids happy with their 2nd family. My daughter stopped asking asking about you long ago. The scales have gone from my eyes and i know that you were self serving and lived without remorse of empathy for anyone (Even your family) Took a while to realise and see what a vampire you were. But sometimes i miss you. Me and E are having christmas in LDN with friends and family and even a new partner. Happy Christmas S.

 

Hardened Regards

Haydn

 

[loveiswar101]

All day I have thought about that last text and call we had, telling me that I was in your thoughts and you loved me. You lied bunny, you lied. I look back at the end and see you didn't want me or we wouldn't be where we are now, apart. I wasn't perfect but neither were you, but even with the pain and heart ache you have caused me I still hope down the track your hip recovers from the pain it's in. Best wishes xxx