Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[AnyaNova]

I guess we share traits, your ex and me. But not all of them. I swear sometimes we think we want something, and as time unfolds we begin to see the true nature of our decisions. I hope things are going good for you.

 

I wonder which way you mean that.

 

Things are. They have been difficult, and there probably is more difficult still to come.

 

Why do you say you share traits with my ex, did you make an ex who'd done nothing but try and be her best to you go away? For some reason, I was under the vague impression that yours had cheated on you, or something. Perhaps I have accidentally conflated yours with someone else.

[Mario79]

That I hope things are going well for you, I mean that each finds you better and happier.

 

I mean being an IFSJ and avoidant, more than likely highly neurotic, well that last one is more me. And things like unable to show what he really wanted. Make the woman that I love go away, I am still pondering that one.

 

My ex and I got into a fight, and I wanted to give her space and then discuss it but she got fed up with me after a couple of days and said no more. There are lot more details and things that occurred. No cheating

 

I analyze it a lot and wonder if I was hard person to know and love.

[AnyaNova]

That I hope things are going well for you, I mean that each finds you better and happier.

 

I mean being an IFSJ and avoidant, more than likely highly neurotic, well that last one is more me. And things like unable to show what he really wanted. Make the woman that I love go away, I am still pondering that one.

 

My ex and I got into a fight, and I wanted to give her space and then discuss it but she got fed up with me after a couple of days and said no more. There are lot more details and things that occurred. No cheating

 

I analyze it a lot and wonder if I was hard person to know and love.

 

I meant which way you meant the thing about "sometimes we think we know what we want."

 

You didn't make her go away, like he made me. She chose to get fed up with you and she chose to end it. Do not beat yourself up and tell yourself that it was your fault when it wasn't.

[Mario79]

It feels like that is the only thing I have control over is determining who was at fault. And her feelings I feel could have been influenced by my actions. Its in the past. All I do is dig it back up.

 

And what I meant by that is that I have made decisions that were not what I really wanted, because I was influenced by someones advice, my emotions, and circumstances at the moment. Sometimes you get that feeling, is this really what I want. As you get distance you realize that those circumstances, those feelings at the moment, they pass, and other peoples advice can never really comprehend your situation fully. Then you wonder why you reacted the way you did.

 

I have made some decisions I wish I could take back just because I of fear or doubt. Sometimes you find yourself several months later realizing, why did I do that?

[AnyaNova]

It feels like that is the only thing I have control over is determining who was at fault. And her feelings I feel could have been influenced by my actions. Its in the past. All I do is dig it back up.

 

And what I meant by that is that I have made decisions that were not what I really wanted, because I was influenced by someones advice, my emotions, and circumstances at the moment. Sometimes you get that feeling, is this really what I want. As you get distance you realize that those circumstances, those feelings at the moment, they pass, and other peoples advice can never really comprehend your situation fully. Then you wonder why you reacted the way you did.

 

I have made some decisions I wish I could take back just because I of fear or doubt. Sometimes you find yourself several months later realizing, why did I do that?

 

I get this. I can tend to overreact to things in the moment and think that I am sure in my decision, and then realize later, I should have taken more time to let the idea sift. In the end, the whole having him send me away was precipitated by me and my overreaction to a single article I read.

 

By our last meeting, I had already realized that the article was wrong, and really wrong for me with some of the things in my life. But he was adamant.

 

And now it is too late.

 

I too wish I could take back that decision.

[Mario79]

Maybe its like a key lesson, like a plot point in a book, that will come into play one day in the future. I wish.

 

I have learned so much since this happened. Knowledge I wish I had before. The knowledge was out there but I just didnt feel like looking.

 

I read in a book, you have to live your life as if its your second time around. In some ways I have been re born since then. I miss her though.

 

You are cool Anya.

[RightThere]

You are some kind of a piece of work. You fail to realize that I don't care that you're moving on and that you have a new man and that he's going to meet our daughter.

 

You are just still wanting everyone else to take you by the hand, and guide you along life you are a mindless drone. But you don't realize even still that you grow to resent those people who are in the situation YOU put them in.

 

The pity party for you will never end. I'm just glad my invitation was revoked.

[AnyaNova]

Maybe its like a key lesson, like a plot point in a book, that will come into play one day in the future. I wish.

 

I have learned so much since this happened. Knowledge I wish I had before. The knowledge was out there but I just didnt feel like looking.

 

I read in a book, you have to live your life as if its your second time around. In some ways I have been re born since then. I miss her though.

 

You are cool Anya.

 

Yeah. I am hoping something worthwhile comes from all this suffering too. Right now it seems so pointless and stupid. But I cannot allow myself to dwell on how happy we were capable of making each other, because that will lead to losing the ground that I have made in recovering from this. He is determined to make us be apart, and I have to adjust to it and abide by it, no matter how strongly I suspect that he has similar feelings of regret, because otherwise I will prolong my own pain.

 

In many ways I feel different as well, since when my ex and I parted (almost typed we, that would have been bad, can't slip back into that kind of thinking again!).

 

You are cool too.

[love1336x]

I dont know why but sometimes I get wicked flashbacks of you.

My brain is like "yo remember when he...!!!!" I fight it but sometimes I dont. It makes me smile. I'm glad I had you in my life.

I'm not bitter anymore nor do I want you back.

I accepted my pain and suffering you caused me, but I also accepted the good times with you too.

[AnyaNova]

Last night I kept getting this weird short snapshot of a dream.

 

I was in the little entry way/staircase up to the door of your condo, with its interrogation style overhead neon lighting, the funky carpety smell, and I was all alone. You weren't there.

 

It was odd.

 

It makes me a little sad. You are so alone in so many ways. That makes me sad. But I cannot linger there or dwell on it.

 

But one thing that dream and my extrapolations of what would happen if we actually did run into each other and actually spoke suggest this.

 

After July, we would have been able to beautifully reconstruct what you had broken when you dumped me. I know we both felt that by the time of our last meeting.

 

But after you insisted. After September, it could never be rebuilt. Ever. I could never ever trust my heart to you again.

[Never Again]

I have a bad tendency to plan too far ahead.

 

Today I'm visiting a lot of the places I wanted to go to on our anniversary (minus the Art Deco restaurant).

 

I'm sorry I pulled away, was negative, and hurt you. I never intended to, and I'm sure it drained our relationship. It really wasn't your fault, and I realize that now.

 

I got mad before, which was immature.

 

Acceptance dawned awhile ago, and the connection has long been severed.

 

I do miss you though. But I don't need you.

[kohsa_23]

It's been almost a week since we have had any kind of communication between us and now all of sudden her thoughts are haunting me again but I won't call her! I won't call her! There are better people than her and much more deserving of love.

[im_thedude]

I'm sorry you think I wasn't a very nice person during our relationship. I'm sorry you think of me as some bad person for getting upset at some of the things you did, and I am equally sorry for not being supportive enough of your favorite activities and opportunities we could have enjoyed together.

 

But I can't get better until I bring you down off the pedestal and admit how delusional you are. You blamed me entirely for the demise of the relationship. Your utter victim mentality clouds your vision and makes you blind to your lack of compassion, loyalty, and compromise. For every stitch I pulled, you pulled one out of our relationship too.

 

Who you are now is a different person than who you were during our relationship, in terms of the hobbies you have and who you spend your time with. But the personalities traits that raised their ugly head in my eyes will raise their ugly heads' in your new boyfriend's eyes and your friends' eyes as well.

 

You may feel like you learned something about yourself, but I feel like you only sank further into your own delusional, self-centered sense of being. My only hope is that in the future, you one day realize how bad you were to me. My only dream is you admit it.

[tem7074]

This whole year has been a disaster. I was well on the road to healing earlier this year when you broke it off the first time. But I jumped back into this LDR with you as soon I got the chance. Big mistake. I visited you six times this year. Each time the emotional highs were higher and the lows were lower. I should have realized that our relationship would never be the same again. That those amazing 4 months we had together are in the past and that they should just stay there.

 

But we kept seeing each other. Then you gave me an ultimatum - that if I wasn't with you by this summer that you would move on. That's alot of pressure - and not fair. You don't seem to understand that I was the one who would have to move, to make all the sacrifices, to take all the risks. All this time you have been living your life while I have been neglecting mine trying to find a way to close the distance. I became obsessed with the dream that one day we could be together again.

 

Yes, the situation became very unhealthy. An emotional rollercoaster. But you blame me for ruining the relationship because I didn't close the distance in your self-imposed time frame. You think that I am selfish and didn't put in enough effort. Now you think that I never loved you, that I am incapable of true love. But I think you gave up long ago. It is you who doesn't love me anymore.

 

I can't believe that I am still so emotionally attached to you. How long will it take to get over you?

[Kansas87]

F*** you. F*** you for having the utter gall to tell me that you wanted to ask me "if I wanted to do something." F*** you for not believing me when I told you WHY I didn't want to see you. Just F*** you for putting me through this. And especially F*** YOU for telling me you still love and care about me. You either have no earthly idea what "love" actually means, or you are the biggest freaking idiot on the planet. You don't throw away someone you love like they're trash. Like they mean nothing.

 

God. I love you so much and I don't understand how when you put me through this crap.

[EnigmaWolf92]

Well I was doing great today until I scrolled tro facebook and saw you so happy in the background of a profile photo of a mutual friend. I'm not upset that your happy I'm upset that I miss you so dam much and don't know if you will ever talk to me again. And I hate the power these emotions have over me.

[Agent Orange]

I know why you left. I've always known. It would be stupid of me to think it wouldn't have gotten to you eventually. That's part of the reason I kept doing it - to chase you away, force you to leave and confirm my irrational beliefs. Well I succeeded. Now you're gone and I feel…something. Not sad. Not lost. Not angry. I can't put my finger on it…incomplete. I feel like I'm missing a finger. It's not serious enough to keep me from living a fulfilling life, but just enough to make things a little harder.

 

Talking to you is hard, but not talking to you is harder. It's like you're there, in my life but far enough that I can't quite reach you. Like a ghost. The faint remnants of my past. I loved you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. One day you were there and the next you were gone. I'd give anything to change it what happened.

 

He was my north, south, east, and west. My luck, My love, my inspiration, my fate, my fortune.

 

I loved you yesterday, I loved you today, I'll love you tomorrow, and always.

[Chris715]

I can't believe how ****ing badly you treated me sometimes. Look, I get it, I made a lot of mistakes during the relationship and after we broke up. I did things to hurt you that I had no right doing, and you had every right to be angry at me. But that gives you no ****ing excuse for some of the things you did and said to me.

 

It's always so hot and cold with you. One minute you're calling me a loser, pathetic, you feel sorry for me, etc. saying all your problems are my fault, blaming me for things I did when I was only trying to help. And the next you're begging my forgiveness, acting like your terrible behavior was just part of some delusional mood swing of yours and that that makes it ok.

 

I loved you and was worried sick over you for months on end last year, thinking every day "what the **** should I do? Is she serious when she says she's suicidal?" I try to get you to a hospital, get you some help, anything, and what do you do? Turn around and blame the whole thing on me when your family finds out.

 

I let you use me as your personal punching bag for months. Not because I was weak and pathetic, even though that's probably what you think, but because I still loved you. I wasn't about to retaliate against someone I cared so much about, so instead I just took your abuse time and time again until you wore me down to the bone.

 

You probably have no idea how much ****ing pain you caused me this last year, some intentional and some not. **** you.

[Mario79]

So after a terrible weekend. I spent moaning and groaning, I wrote you a letter, where I explained my actions, but did not send it. I sometimes wonder why I want to have the last word, and realize its because I still havent let you go. I was doing so well and trying so hard to move past you. I sometimes do wonder if I am lying to myself. Telling me, I no longer care, when its not true. That mistake made it very clear. I still do. Your reply was as mean spirited as it could have been expected. Yet I still want you. Why? Why do I care so much about you?

 

I realize I am weak. Not humble, and very selfish. I want you for me. Damn it, and dam you.

 

I am at work and I just cant get you out my head. I am not in yours. I am not doing well today. I want to not think of you.

Edited December 2, 2013 by Mario79

[throw_away_30]

It's finally over. Everything has finally be transferred to my name. I hoped that you would have texted me this morning to remind me. I was almost anticipating it. I went ahead and took care of everything myself. I didn't tell you, I wanted you to have to ask me. You never called. You never texted. I guess you called earlier and they told you the transfer was complete. I'm glad you didn't contact me. I'm hurt that you didn't contact me. This is the longest I've gone in 8 years without telling you I love you.

 

I do not want you back. I can't be with someone that chooses to lie and cheat. I owe it to myself to not sink to that level. You told me you didn't think I would fight. I will always fight for you, never compete.

 

I love you. You were there for me when I was at a bad place in life. You helped me to get out, showed me love, gave me hope and happiness. You helped me to become the man I am today. I took risks. I smiled. I laughed. I worked hard to better myself so we could have a better future together.

 

Maybe that is all you were meant to be. You are just a chapter in my book. You served your purpose by showing me the man I am capable of being. I miss you dearly, but it's time for me to turn the page.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

and I'm not at all moved by them. Well maybe a little...I've got a little satisfaction knowing you miss me and are thinking about me.

 

It's amazing that we haven't run into each other considering that we live in the same neighborhood..but I think it's best for you if you don't see me...I look friggin hot. 20lb loss and some serious booty blastin exercises have done wonders for my figure. Not sure if you'll be able to resist me.. ;p

 

Yea I still think about you every day and I'm still hoping for a midnight romp with you one day but I'm finally back to my old happy, spunky self. My family and friends are delighted by how joyful I am this holiday season.

 

Thank your for being the most mature break up I've ever experienced and someday soon I hope I'll have moved on enough to not feel the need to write to you on this particular thread.

 

Happy Holidays!

[Petunia20]

I still fantasize and even have a glimpse of hope that you will contact me sooner or later. I dont believe that you are truly happy. I beleive you are still somewhat lost and are trying to make your life a happy one with her. I miss you at times and at times I still want you back. Then I ask myself WHY? why would i want someone back who hurt me so much and under what circumstances do I want you back? I'm doing really good, just got a promotion, I'll be traveling to Wisconsin finally. For work but nonetheless you know whats out there that I've always wanted to visit. Are you really happy with her? Why did you leave me? Did you really believe we could no longer work things out or was your love for her bigger than me and you? Questions that I know I will never get an answer for. Everyone still tells me that sooner or later you and her will split because something that started bad cannot end well. I'm not bitter anymore. That feeling is actually dissapearing. For that I am happy. I would really like to know tho if you think about me still or if you miss me. Anything that will let me know that I meant something more to you and that I was someone that I am unforgetable. Miss you monkeyface.

[EnigmaWolf92]

Wanting to contact you hits me daily and randomly like a sucker punch to the gut it makes me sick to my stomach. I know not to do it and and just give everything time. I just wish I knew if we would ever talk again and our friendship could be fixed. I wish I could tell myself all I want with you is a friendship and believe it because the feeling of having you in my life and still talking stupidly sounds better then feeling like you fell off the face of the earth when in reality you walk in the same social circles as I do but all I hear is silence and checking up is just stupid.

[Shaine]

Are you back home? Just text me already! I want this to be over with. I wont ask to meet up. I'll just send your stiff. I dont want to have any more connection with you. I cant fully move on knowing im just waiting for your text asking for your things! Eff you!

[Steven33]

Each day is the same, I still think of you, no matter how busy I might be, a lump fills my throat each time I picture your smile or think of all the great times we had, trying to hold the tears back. I still cant believe how things changed when you left to work on the cruiselines, and how you thought your actions would not hurt me! I miss coming home to you, making food with you...cuddling up on the couch or in bed with you....I miss your smile, smell of your skin. I miss your fingers between mine, now only the gap where your fingers once were. I miss waking up next to you, kissing you softly only for you to wake up and open those beautiful eyes and smile, and say good morning babes. I miss asking you how your day was and comforting you when you are down, I miss our roadtrips to your family...your two adorable nieces. I miss all that's you....take care fancyface...forever and always!