Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[RDawg]

Hi Law

 

I don't want to put pressure on you but how about that quick drink this eve? I need some advice from you.

 

R

[AnyaNova]

I am over you.

 

After the b vitamin shots and everything, I can say this for certain.

 

My brain is back online, thankfully. I am sleeping better. Everything is so much better.

 

And I am, indeed over you.

 

And I don't think you are completely over me. I won't go over the strong evidence I'm pretty sure I have that you are still looking at my facebook page. Your choice dude, but it will slow your healing.

 

If you are saying to yourself that my feelings for you couldn't have been real, deep, or true, that the fact that I am over you now suggests that they were only superficial, know that you are lying to yourself.

 

I would not willingly have put myself through the hell you put me through. I had no choice but to face the pain head on, while sick, while getting glutened, while struggling like heck to try and keep my body and mind running and figure out which deficiency was causing the most problems (another thank you Lord for b vitamin shots!).

 

Anyway, know in your heart, mind, and even in your gut, your body, that my feelings were real and true. Granted, they were short-circuited by the traumatic bond you created with that last night, but still they were developing and they were there and they were real.

 

And they are no more.

 

Do not, though, deceive yourself and try to make me into a restrospective shallow and superficial flighty moth. Just because I flirt with other guys now, or because I truly am over you.

 

I would have given you everything, and you know you knew me truly and deeply.

 

And that is what you have lost.

[Mario79]

Where do I go from here. I cant concentrate at work. I cant think of a future. I only have the now. And now just seems to suck. There are times where I have no tolerance. I meditate and thoughts of you come and go. Why did I lose you? Why cant you come back? Why cant I just let you go? You are my addiction, you are my obsession, you are a poison I cant get out of my system. Why must I suffer?

 

You were bossy, you were direct, very confrontational, very emotional, you had your issues with trust, you wanted me to be a certain that I couldnt be, but I tried. Im angry and sorry. 13 days since you told me that you would change your number. 26 since I last heard your voice. So many more since I last held you in my arms.

 

Will it ever end?

[radiodarcy]

*sigh* no word from you in close to 2 weeks and I'm still like Pavlov's dog whenever that phone rings.

 

You trained me well. Too well.

[AnyaNova]

[me85]

I miss the old you. The one who loved me so much. The guy who said he cant live without me and that he'll never let me go.

 

The person you are now is not the man i love and miss. You changed into a cruel sadistic person who enjoys my pain. Right now, you are a jerk. You are evil.

 

The old you died, i grieved cause i lost him. The man i loved died. Who you are right now, i dont know and i dont care. Cause i dont know you.

 

I'm sorry I had to reply to this quote.

 

I feel this same exact way about my ex.

[AnyaNova]

By way of explanation of the above.

 

I hold no ill will toward you. I remember you saying that you were sure of several things.

 

1) That the day after our last meeting onward, all you would feel is relief.

2) The idea of me with another man would make you happy, because I would be happy.

 

a) I'm sure of it. That was you. You couldn't even handle a nice guy smiling big and saying hi. You couldn't handle my trainer calling my name and smiling. Your face gave away your reaction to those things (and yes, it was you, unless you have a twin you don't know about, who for some reason doesn't want other men even talking to me or looking at me, and also has that shirt you wore several times whose color I told you looked good on you! :-p).

 

Certainly neither of those two premises turned out to be true. It haunted me for so long that I was sitting around moping about you while you were out, happy and relieved.

 

That's really really really not what happened, is it? And knowing that, knowing that I survived and coped with the situation you made me face, and now I have thrived. Now that I know about my need for tons of Omega 3's and b vitamin shots and just how badly my absorption is, even if I do end up having to transfer somewhere else, I will thrive and succeed at whatever I will do. Even with the AvPD. Now that I know what it takes to keep my body and mind consistently functioning, I am set to go!

 

You suffered too. I don't take pleasure in that. It is nice to know, however, that I was not easy to forget or walk away from. That I did matter, mean something, and that I was worth some regret or second thoughts on your part.

 

It's a shame that I can't trust you with my heart, and never could.

 

But I can certainly survive and thrive, even with the circumstances I have been given!

[me85]

I didn't confront you when I found out you were in a RS behind my back and lying to me about it. Feeding me BS the entire time I was crying and graveling at your feet.

 

I want you to know how much I really resent you after what you've done to me. But I will never tell you because I never want to see your lying face again.

 

You stole nearly 3 years of my effing life that I will NEVER get back. It was all such a complete waste of time. You've caused me such emotional damage!!!!!

 

You're such a pussy...abusing me, scared of what your mommy thinks of you whether she approves or not & you're 28 years old!, always so worried about your effing image. Well, she wouldn't approve of you if she knew the truth about you & what all you did to me. A couple of your own friends are on MY side and disapprove of your ass. HA!

 

You didn't even apologize when you found out I found out about your lying cheating sorry ass you just didn't want me to post songs about cheaters on my FB because of your precious "image" JERKOFF.

 

I will never respond to you. You don't even exist to me.

 

I deserve so much better.

 

Good luck with your ridiculous rebound. She is NOT even pretty! Ya I'm judging but not really because it's the truth. Your own friends laugh at you! They know I'm so much better of a catch. Guess I should have dated yours friends instead of you because at least they appreciate me. Your new "GF" is older and has a kid, you always said you couldn't date a girl with a kid. I always thought you were such a judgmental jerk for thinking that way about people. But look at you now, doing all the **** you said you'd never do. Like when you said you'd never cheat on me. HA! Joke's on me. I play the fool.

 

She's got a kid … how's that going to work??? You demand entirely too much attention. You won't share it with her kid because you're an insensitive *******. & she lives 2 states over…but that is PERFECT for you, isn't it? I mean, that way you can have your cake and eat it too. Screw any girl in your hometown without her finding out, BRILLIANT I SAY, BRILLIANT!!!

 

After all, you called me over for sex like a week or so after becoming FB official with this woman (all the while feeding me breadcrumbs & telling me you weren't seeing anyone else) and cheated on 2 girls at once. You're AMAZING!!! We're so fortunate to know you, aren't we? But f her for too blocking me not even knowing me. & before I found out what all was really going on. Dumb bitch is in for a real treat!

 

You are a total ****ing idiot. You lost the best thing you ever had & why? Because you're a totally self absorbed ******* who's never satisfied with anybody unless they worship you & compliment you 24/7.

 

You'll tire of your new GF. It doesn't take you long to move on to the next one. You're nothing but a WHORE.

 

I want to expose you for who you really are but karma will take care of you. I have no doubt.

Edited November 27, 2013 by me85

[me85]

"She's got a kid … how's that going to work??? You demand entirely too much attention…"

 

when you yourself are just a kid, so hey, maybe it's a good thing you went after a single mom…so now she can raise 2 kids.

 

Cuz that's what's in store in for her. HA! Hope she's so nurturing to all of your needs and makes "all your dreams come true" GAG

 

Good riddance to you douchebag!

 

(just so people know I have absolutely NOTHING against single moms or guys dating single moms I'm just blown away because my ex always expressed how much he was against this and mocked his own best friend for dating a single mom 10 years his senior-but hey, I guess it just proves that deep down he is who he hangs with and I think the more someone rallies against something it's because they secretly want it and are curious to indulge in it themselves)

Edited November 27, 2013 by me85

[JoelBarish]

I don't know why I am even writing you anymore. I miss talking to you I guess. Somehow when I pretend I'm talking to you it's better than plain old journaling.

 

So what do I say now? I suppose I'm just trying to clear my head. It's not like I want to ask you about anything going on in your life. No one here misses you. My niece doesn't like you anymore after the way you treated her uncle.

 

I'll be glad when you pay me what you owe me. Part of me will be sad that we won't have that tie anymore and will no longer have to see each other. But the rest of me will be glad that I can put you in my past since that's where you want to be.

 

In a way I am thankful that we broke up. Though we enjoyed each other's company, our differences were too great.

 

Why did you even bother texting me last week? Why do you care what I think?

 

I won't be texting you on Thanksgiving, your birthday or Christmas. Will you care? Will you even notice? Probably not.

[Still-I-Rise]

Thank you for leaving me.

 

I didn't know how suppressed my spirit was when you were here.

 

This formerly caged bird now flies freely and sings sweetly of freedom thanks to your absence.

 

In gratitude I ask you to never return.

Edited November 27, 2013 by Still-I-Rise

[Omei]

Next month will be month 11

this has been the fastest year of my life and the worst year little motivation.

 

I still dream of you weekly, im just sad not on the outside anymore I have dusted myself off and marched on without you, but under it all I Miss you.

 

I wonder if ill ever let myself love someone this much again.

[Shaine]

I just realized, you have an attitude problem. That's why im always frustrated with you. And the way you handle the break up revealed how evil, spiteful and vengeful you are.

 

All your insults are below the belt and malicious. I was never like that to you even if im so angry at you. But you, you are just rotten to the core.

 

You know what, i should be happy we broke up. I was right in breaking up with you. And i regret apologizing and asking to be taken back. It was just a moment of weakness.

 

Goodness! I should really be happy we broke up. Im just wasting my time on you.

[RDawg]

Law, you gave up on us long before I lost control. You are useless at relationships and have some real issues of your own. Such a main man, see where that gets you in life. Ms Big Deal moving on to bigger and better things. I should have dumped YOU ages ago. I never phoned you when you were in Jhb because I didn't want to hear your stupid voice!!

 

Now get out of my head you loser.

[im_thedude]

I still miss you.

[adelia]

I contacted you ...it wasnt because i needed to. im fine on my own and although i miss our chats and the shred of something we had left im surviving. my heart hurts at the ways youve lied to me. not knowing the truth. not even really knowing who you are. all i have to go by is who i knew the past two years. ive lost so much respect for you but i still love you.how can i turn my back on two years of what we shared. a lot of it was probably lies but ill never know. Youre more than likely a sociopathic lier. ill never understand how you can hop from one woman to another. probably because they never get to know you either.why do i even want to associate with you anymore? I keep asking myself this question. Its not because i need to. my wish is we could on some level stay friends. i cant envision my life without you in some form. I feel at times you are a friend but shouldnt you trust a friend. know they dont want to hurt you. i really do love you but im not sure im in love anymore. so much damage has been done. trust has been gone and no foundation to build anything on romantically. So much hurt has been caused. ive never been in any situation like this in my life.

[JoelBarish]

So you didn't contact me on Turkey Day nor I you. I can't say I'm surprised. But I know that you thought of me today. I didn't contact you either but I thought of you once or twice so it stands to reason that it was the same on your end.

 

The one thing your breadcrumbs proved to me is that I'll be in your thoughts for quite some time regardless of any pathetic rebounds that you may have.

[HorseLuck]

No word from you today either? God, we're tough as nails. I'm a bit surprised and hurt, but not so much. There could be a couple of reasons but none worth obsessing over. Guess that's progress.

 

Goodnight!

[EnigmaWolf92]

I wish I knew why you viewed my professional profile three days ago.

Then again I don't I wish I did not care.

I hope you don't see the foolish video blog I posted in-directly about you and wish I had the strength to take it down

I wish I had not broken NC and sent you a mess of a happy thanksgiving message.

I wish you were back but wish I was over you at the same time

I'm just tired of feeling like a mess and knowing its no ones fault

 

This was meant to be the start of an open letter poem I hope I never send..

1. Zero is the number of times i regret you in my life I'm glad to have been a part of yours

2. writing this hits way to close to the heart

3. I'm trying to be a better man

4. I miss you like oxygen

5. It's been 3 months I miss you like oxygen

6. I'm proud of you

7. I still don't understand and maybe I never will

8. Silence hurts. (starting to see its the best thing for me tho )

9. I wish you would read this

10. I wish you would not

[AnyaNova]

Thanksgiving is officially over and there was nothing from you.

 

I certainly didn't expect anything.

 

I know you're not reading these, but if you are, look up the "self-abandoning Avoidant personality" I think you will find yourself clearly in that category.

 

You kept the bear, which you wouldn't have done if you didn't enjoy teaching. You gave up teaching for them, and I'm pretty certain your recent appearance appearance at my gym (without actually talking to me) suggests that you gave up me for them. What are they going to ask you to give up next?

 

Oh, sweetie, I am sure its all under the guise of "In your best interests."

 

Except it is not. And never was. Just as you have difficulty separating your own needs and wants for the things they want for you, so to, I think do they have difficulty separating what is actually in your best interests because it truly supports and augments the wonderful person you truly are, from unmet needs they are trying to fill through you, for them.

 

This doesn't make them bad people or bad parents. It makes them human. But nothing positive will change in your life, until you recognize what your own needs and wants actually, and stand up to your parents when they insist you do things that aren't in line with who you actually are and the healthy and normal things you actually want.

 

I know you thought about my yesterday, and I bet you weren't able to keep your gym visit a secret from your parents. I bet you caught all kinds of crud for that.

[Mario79]

I sometimes wonder why I miss you as much as I do. If you were nothing but a drag on my expenses and on my time. You pushed me all the time to do things I sometimes did not want to do. At times it did feel as if I was walking on egg shells. Why do I care?

 

Yet I do, yet I still wake up at 2 am and you come to my mind. It sometimes feels like too much. Your eyes and your face. Those times we spent together, really where the best time of my life? How can that be?

 

Why cant I be stronger? Why are you in my head? Will you echo in there forever? I know you hate me and I cant stop that. I have learned so much of what not to do. And learned to appreciate everything you were.

 

Why do I do with this knowledge. Even if I find someone else it wont be the same, it will be something different.

 

My fate I swear will always be to struggle, to fail and keep trying until I get it right. I just really wanted you to be who I got it right with.

[AnyaNova]

I sometimes wonder why I miss you as much as I do. If you were nothing but a drag on my expenses and on my time. You pushed me all the time to do things I sometimes did not want to do. At times it did feel as if I was walking on egg shells. Why do I care?

 

Yet I do, yet I still wake up at 2 am and you come to my mind. It sometimes feels like too much. Your eyes and your face. Those times we spent together, really where the best time of my life? How can that be?

 

Why cant I be stronger? Why are you in my head? Will you echo in there forever? I know you hate me and I cant stop that. I have learned so much of what not to do. And learned to appreciate everything you were.

 

Why do I do with this knowledge. Even if I find someone else it wont be the same, it will be something different.

 

My fate I swear will always be to struggle, to fail and keep trying until I get it right. I just really wanted you to be who I got it right with.

 

I highly doubt she hates you. There have been times over the course of these last few months, even when I have been angry at him, that though I might have wished occasionally for the luxury of being able to hate my ex, I never could. Still can't.

[Mario79]

I highly doubt she hates you. There have been times over the course of these last few months, even when I have been angry at him, that though I might have wished occasionally for the luxury of being able to hate my ex, I never could. Still can't.

 

I know hate is a strong word. Some things she has done and said, things that maybe I have earned something like that. But even that isn't my problem. Its just that utter feeling of desperation of knowing that she is gone. That time flows and goes by each day and reminds me that its over. I come here to vent when it gets really bad. I want to reach out to her, but she said no already.

 

Thank you for your kind words though.

 

I do have a question though, and I probably could back track your posts. But he broke up with you?

[AnyaNova]

I know hate is a strong word. Some things she has done and said, things that maybe I have earned something like that. But even that isn't my problem. Its just that utter feeling of desperation of knowing that she is gone. That time flows and goes by each day and reminds me that its over. I come here to vent when it gets really bad. I want to reach out to her, but she said no already.

 

Thank you for your kind words though.

 

I do have a question though, and I probably could back track your posts. But he broke up with you?

 

He broke up with me. We tried to remain friends. That didn't work. We planned a last meeting, except in the interim, the communication we had made it seem to everyone I talked to (save one) about it, that we were about to get back together. Nope. Despite making me leave causing him scads of obvious pain, he insisted.

[Mario79]

He broke up with me. We tried to remain friends. That didn't work. We planned a last meeting, except in the interim, the communication we had made it seem to everyone I talked to (save one) about it, that we were about to get back together. Nope. Despite making me leave causing him scads of obvious pain, he insisted.

 

I guess we share traits, your ex and me. But not all of them. I swear sometimes we think we want something, and as time unfolds we begin to see the true nature of our decisions. I hope things are going good for you.