Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[swimswithjeans]

And I don't think that I ever will.

 

Sometimes I think about linking you to some LS postings so that you can see that I am not crazy and that YOU were the problem.

 

How dare you break up with me the way that you did: "I'm sorry things could not work out between us."

 

Wait... WHAT? What a cowardly move. I cannot believe you J. I loved you so much and was there for you EVERY second of every day... I got out of the shower with hair color dripping all over my body and made my bathroom look like a crime scene because I knew that you just needed to talk when you called; and I was happy to do that and be there for you.

 

When was the last time that you went out of your way for me...? Oh, right... Never. I cannot believe this... I cannot believe the hurt that you caused me.

 

I feel like I am going to throw up and cannot breathe. This on/off... This must be exhausting. And you break up with me like this every 7-10 weeks like CLOCKWORK and make up a new issue every time. When I asked you why and remarked it must be exhausting - you agreed and said that you hoped this would be the last time and that you would be a better dumper in your future relationships. The truth is that my only fault in this was loving you and enabling you by coming back to you. I cannot believe you.

 

You ARE a textbook alcoholic. And you clearly have some other stuff wrong with you. At 37, you are too old to be lying and not keeping your promises.

 

You made a mistake and I hope that you realize that every day that you live... Because when you come back - WHEN - I will not be there. And it's just a matter of when.

 

Unfortunately, I can't wait to hear from you. I want you to be okay and I miss you so much. I miss your arms and just want to fall asleep on your chest. But that's not what you want... That's a lie, actually, I know that's what you want. It's what you gave up. And this is the last time.

 

J - what has the world done to you? I showed you unconditional love for the first time in your life... And you showed me empty promises and why it isn't right to trust anyone.

 

The one thing I loved about myself is that I believed that love would save the day - and you took that away from me. You took away so much of my innocence. You didn't let me say what I wanted to say. I hope you look at my pillows in your bed every night and remember what you threw away. I was the best you ever had- I know that.

 

I miss and will love you always.

 

I hope you will be okay... But I know now that it is probably time to just go ahead and do me... Whatever that means. I don't understand how people can get out of bed to do that after losing the love of their life.

 

All I know for certain is that I will never love again. Not if this is what it is like... I don't want to.

[DoesThatMakeMeCrazy]

I had to download Microsoft Word for my new job, and it for whatever reason gave me the option of opening files in my Sky Drive that I didn't know I had. Creepy, but anyway, there's a letter in there that I wrote you and never gave you. Boy was I mad at you right before we parted ways. I still feel the exact same resentment toward you, so I don't know why I still constantly think about how I wish you'd reach out to me so we could talk again. Feelings are stupid. Also, I think for some dumb reason, seeing that picture of you with your girlfriend sent me back into that clinically depressed place I was in back when I was talking to you, and I'm so angry about it. I was doing SO well. I mean, I brought my savings from $200 to $8,000 (which was $14,000 before I put down a down-payment on the first car I've ever bought in my life), bought the aforementioned car, signed the lease on an apartment, and enrolled at a major university to take the prerequisite courses I need to apply to med schools. I was all poised to begin working on getting in my extracurricular activities and studying for the MCAT and everything to pursue my dream of becoming a doctor, and now instead all I want to do is revert back to that place I was in where the only things I could bring myself to do were lay in bed crying and talk to you all day aside from when I wrote some low-paying articles for the purposes of having money for food? No, no, no, no, no. I CANNOT go back to that. I'm better than that. I want to be a doctor, not a loser who lays around in bed crying in her dad's house at the age of 24. It's not your fault I looked at your FB page and saw the picture, so not to say it's your fault, but I cannot let you do this to me. I almost scheduled an appointment with a psychologist today because I recognized all of the depression symptoms reappearing and wanted to nip it in the bud. Luckily, she wasn't accepting new clients. I don't need to waste my money on a therapist; they never help anyway.

Edited November 16, 2013 by DoesThatMakeMeCrazy

[swimswithjeans]

This sucks so hard.

 

Everything hurts.

 

I miss him. I feel like I am choking and going to throw up at any moment.

 

This hurts.

 

I am alone.

 

I don't know if I will ever feel his arms around me when I sleep ever again.

 

I remember the last time I spent the night with him in his warm and cozy bed. His apartment was always cold... But I never spent a night anything other than perfectly warm. The last time I was with him... I was so tired. I fell asleep before him. I woke up slightly when he got in bed and he told me that nothing bad was going to happen to me when I was with him, that I was safe, and that he loved me. The next morning I kissed him out on the porch and we said see you later.

 

This is killing me. Killing me. It hurts.

[AnyaNova]

I've already talked much about my academic work this semester, so forgive me for taking a turn to the superficial.

 

I recently discovered that I haven't been wearing the right bra size in months. Since before you and I even got together and because of the weight loss that is still continuing.

 

Things I can tell you.

 

Victoria really doesn't have that many secrets anymore. What Victoria does have, however, are professional fittings which confirmed my suspicions, and bras that really work and really flatter.

 

I look great, and am continuing to look better with my work at the gym.

[Nikki Sahagin]

* I hope your family are alright. I wanted to ask you if any of them have been directly affected. I sincerely hope everyone is okay.

 

* I'm not going to chase you. I did enough of that in the beginning. If you decide you wish to speak with me, I know you will be decisive and brave enough to simply send me a message and speak with me directly, rather than simply like things on my FB after a long period of no communication at all.

 

* If, in the future, we should be friends or more, I am sincerely open to that. I let you go and trust that what is for the best will be.

 

Good luck to you x

[smuggy95]

I realize the you who was with me is dead. Whatever components that made her a part of 'us', in my head or real, is gone. If and when I do meet you again, and I still do wish for it, because we did have the makings of friendship, I will have to realize it is NOT the same person. Just someone with similar traits who would be a good friend. But not the person whose heart i could feel quickening against my cheek, who turned and placed a gentle blessing of a kiss on my forehead.

That person is gone gone gone gone. She went away in pieces, drifts.

Who I will meet will be a twin, a doppleganger. a shadow, a reflection. Hopefully still good, but not the same. Never the same. And I cannot fool myself into thinking it is the same.

[DoesThatMakeMeCrazy]

Remember how you started saying "much love" at the end of our online conversations after we had been talking for a few months? I always wondered if that was your way of saying "I love you" without actually flat out saying it. I always just responded with a smiley face or something because I wasn't sure what to read into your words and needed to protect my heart, but just so you know (or don't know), I always wondered.

[daughter_judy]

Lying here wishing things had worked out differently. It's going to take a while to get through a change of this magnitude. Just wish id gotten to hear you say I love you one more time.

[TheBat]

It's been four months and when I think of you, all I feel is hate. You are the first person I have ever truly hated.

 

Part of me is glad you trashed me and made up lies about me to your friends, because you unchained me. It felt good destroying the reputation your internet pornstar status brought you, "Muffinmaid". But who am I kidding? Now all your fellow models who thought you were as nice as you are beautiful know you've been trashing them for no reason. Now everyone knows that you think black people are an un-evolved race; that Hispanics and Asians are annoying.

 

Manipulating me for seven months while you had a boyfriend, asking me to move in with you after you dumped him, then kicking me out on the streets after having sex with me for one night 2500+ miles from home, then telling me that you lied that there was no one else and that in fact you had a lot of guys you were talking to at the same time as me... You're no porn star. You're a cheap prostitute with a loose, gigantic vagina.

 

You inflict emotional pain on others to make yourself feel worthy of the men who used and admitted they'd rather have sex with your best friend than you.

 

I hope your massive intentional weight gain gives you a massive heart attack, coward.

Edited November 17, 2013 by TheBat

[greenfairie]

Six months and I thought I would feel completely at peace with what you did to me. You ****ed my best friend while telling me you loved me and you kissed me. I wish you happiness but I don't. I wish you a great future but I don't. I may have chose to end things with you but that doesn't mean you get to punish me for doing something that was probably one of the hardest choices for me to make. I wish you would acknowledge the fact you have hurt me or even not treat me like a stranger. I don't need your love.

[The Situation]

Happy Birthday! Hope you have an amazing day. I thought I was finally over you, but the last few days have shown I'm not, and I really wish I could have been there to celebrate with you. Gone, but never forgotten. You're the one that got away. Miss you so much.

[Littlecakes]

I don't know why tonight is especially hard. I have gone through so many emotions, looking back, reading about other people in similar situations. Did I ever love you? I thought I did. Was I just attached? I didn't know what I was getting into.. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for you.

 

I want to be angry, I want to blame you. But I look back and remember seeing the rest of my life with you! Now, I can't imagine it. I looked back at our pictures. We looked happy. I read our old messages, we sounded happy. But since July, we haven't had a single happy memory.

 

I know it was me. I lost something that July, I saw another side of you I had never seen. Since then, it has been a downward spiral and just when we think we have reached the bottom, we find another way to hurt each other. How can two people who loved each other so much inflict so much pain? Why couldn't we fix it?

[Mario79]

I am writting this right now, as my entire being wants to contact you. With no real answer as to what would I be expecting when it is obvious nothing good would come of it. I love you, and I swear I could be the best for you. I wish that was what could happen. BUt it doesnt happen, its not the case. You hate me, and I cant hate you. I am just with this horrible anxious feeling in me. Why cant I reach out. Why cant I talk. Why is the one thing I need the thing I cant have.

 

I miss you Andrea.

[Kansas87]

It's like there is a constant "itch" under my skin of missing you. You were my everything, and I understand now that that was the problem- maybe if I had focused more on myself and creating a life for myself here, you wouldn't have left me. It just hurts so bad, because it was so good. It really was, I'm not imagining that. And it hurts so much to know that you didn't want to fight to get that back. You just gave up. You tried to tell me what was bothering you but I didn't realize it was that bad, and you never wanted to work on things anyway. It was always MY problems that had to be "fixed."

 

And yesterday you helped me move all my stuff out and when we were done you walked away without even saying goodbye.

 

Yet I miss you so much. You're all I want in the whole world, and I don't know how I'm going to survive without you.

[headinthecloud]

I realize the person who you were with me is not the person you really are but I miss the person I knew. He was compassionate, kind, and joyful. I don't know why some days I'm completely over you and then all of a sudden - seemingly out of the blue - I miss you. After everything you did to me, I still wish you well. I wish we had met under different circumstances. I really thought you were the one. I guess I was wrong.

[SimonSerenade]

I learned something about myself from being with you, just how much crap I can possibly take off somebody without having a nervous break down, you didn't love me and you certainly never cared for me, not one bit, I always put you first, I cherished you and even after you completely threw everything at me that you knew could possibly hurt me, I still respected you and left you and your life alone, I guess that makes me a pretty okay guy after all.

 

You weren't the one for me, the one for me would accept who I am and cherish all that I am, the one for me would truly appreciate what I did for them, the one for me would stick it out through thick and thin just to hold my hand, the one for me would see me and nobody else, I know who the one for me is, it's time I leave you behind and shut you out of my mind once and for all, you were the biggest mistake I ever made, I've never been ashamed of my past before or anybody in it but I've never met anybody as selfish and horrible as you, have fun being ugly on the inside and out, I see you now for exactly what you are, it isn't human, that's for sure.

 

 

As far as I'm concerned, you never happened at all, you never even existed, it's time I stop shutting people out, one in particular especially, i would be jaw dropped if anybody can top the pain you inflicted on me but I highly doubt anybody would go out of their way to be that cruel and thoughtless, bye bye stranger.

[greenfairie]

Some days I feel good and happy but there's some times where I miss you terribly out of nowhere. I truly thought you were the one for five years. That's a long time to believe in that. It's been a hard struggle for me to let go.

[JustaRegularGuyZ]

Ha! I knew you'd break first! I feel like i've won! **** you!

[seekingpeaceinlove]

Tomorrow will be exactly a year since we departed for an adventure-filled vacation overseas. We had an amazing time though we fought more than we should have. I'll never forget making love under the moonlight on the beach or canoodling in that secret alcove in the hot springs...or racing down that waterfall with you. We shared new and beautiful experiences together and I'll never forget them..

 

I have to say though I'm moving on, my heart feels heavy today as I'm thinking of you and the good times we shared. I still think of you every day and can't help but wonder if you feel the same tug that I feel right now. My love for you still exists and I pray everyday that it'll fade. No amount of reasoning, rehashing your negative qualities or removing every part of you from my life has lessened the way I feel about you.

 

My prospective has changed, but my love for you has not.

 

How bittersweet this is...

[terrenceg1985]

four years..... its been four years since i could call you my lover. or partner, or girlfriend or whatever. when the sky fell on our three year long relationship with you, my world turned upside down. i cant even describe the confusion, hurt, depression and anger i felt toward you. i was still there for you even after the curtain fell on us, and you were more than happy to use me as you saw fit. after the break up we spent two years locked in this emotional holding pattern of me being your rock through your drug use and being used by others. its my fault though... iv put myself in this position. i could have just told you to go **** yourself and cut all contact but i couldnt.. i still loved you. to this day i still love you.

[Shaine]

You will totally regret letting go of me. Tsk. I can already feel now how you will beg after a month or two. You think the grass is greener on the other side? Haller! They will just use you for money!

 

And i dont care if you started smoking again or started playing your online games. Go ahead and destroy yourself! Destroy your life you balding pig!

 

You lost the only good thing in your life. That's me! You will never find another girl who will not use you and who will be faithful to you. You will regret it. You will totally regret losing me.

 

You know i was different. You know i am a serious relationship type of girl. I have guys waiting for our break up. You? You have bitches waiting for you to spend money on them! I never asked you for anything. Hope you remeber that next time one whore ask you to buy something for her.

 

I shouldnt have given you a chance with me. You were a great actor when you cried and seemed desperate when i turned you down. F.u.c.k. You.

[daughter_judy]

I just got back from a few hours at the bar with some friends. Originally I hadn't planned to drink because I had a migraine yesterday and part of today but it wound up happening anyway. I'm not drunk, just a little...emotionally irresponsible.

 

All last night, while I lay in bed trying not to succumb to the mind blowing pain, I was constantly reminded of you and the last time you were here while I went through this same experience. You came into my bedroom and told me if you'd known I wasn't feeling well, you would have come sooner. I was in serious pain and although there wasn't anything you could do to make it better, you held me and stayed with me until I felt better. Ever since we met, if we were together, you'd always hold me whenever I had a migraine or didn't feel well.

 

Last night I missed you more than I've missed you in months. I tried as much as I could to keep from thinking of you but it didn't work. No matter how I tried to distract myself, I could still feel your arms around me. I was reminded of how my head fit perfectly into that one spot on your shoulder. How my face conformed so well in that space in your back whenever I was the big spoon.

 

I miss you so much. Whenever something funny happens, I want to call you. Then I remember you don't feel the same. That you're pursuing other people and moving on with your life - and that makes me sad.

[Kansas87]

Your mom texted me last night asking how my day was. She's so nice. I think she understands and wants what's best for both of us, but it still frustrates me that she's so much on your "side". But I guess that's normal and to be expected. It made me feel super guilty for talking to a couple guys online, and it made me stop myself from exchanging numbers of friending them on facebook. Which is a good thing, so I'm grateful for that.

 

I'm not crying this morning, but I still feel sad. I just feel...dull now. Like I've reached the stage where I'm not a complete wreck but I am constantly turning things over and over in my mind, analyzing everything. The problem with that is that it always ends with me hoping you'll come back, and the problem with THAT is that I won't really move on. As long as I hope you'll come back I'll never actually meet anyone new, because I know you wouldn't be able to get past that, even if it was 6 months or 3 years later or whatever. You can be so insecure about stuff like that.

 

I hope you're ok. I hope you're happy. This is what you so desperately wanted, after all. I'm beginning to see now that I WILL be happy again, even if I stay here where everything carries a memory of you. I will make it. Will you? Or will this be the biggest mistake of your life?

[JourneyLady]

You should know by now that I am doing fine without you, in spite of the $*%(@ mess you left in my place and the resulting reconstruction of the wall you didn't bother telling me there was a leak in. You HAD to have known, since you moved furniture over it and of course I found out when I went to rearrange things and just about stepped through that big hole in the floor.

 

In truth, when we took apart the floor, I half expected to find a stash of pot down there; but I guess that would have been more likely if it had been your son's room, not yours.

 

I'm doing good. By now, I am friends with not only the friends you made here, but their friends as well - and a bunch of creatives I haven't had the pleasure of meeting face to face yet (due to house problems and travel). I still love it here just as much as I did last summer, and the weather has been beautiful for the most part.

 

Today, I am sitting here with the front door open and looking at the trees and sunny sky and feeling much at peace. I miss having "someone", but not really you anymore - you were never really there for me anyhow. You should know I am "choosing" to be single; there is someone who wants to have a relationship with me or at least start one. However, he is too much like you and I am enjoying too much of my time alone, so we're just friends.

 

Unlike you, I have made friends with the neighbors and they have helped me out a couple of times.

 

Hope you are happy with your choices - you went back to the same situation you left. Mostly, I hope your son is learning from you how NOT to be in his life and that he will eventually start making better choices than you. His potential is so much greater, if he doesn't waste it. Truthfully, I miss the kid more than I miss you really. HE was cheerful most of the time, entertaining, and fun. You were none of those things.

 

Mostly I find myself curious about where you are at in your path. I don't want you back, but I do find myself curious about where your choices will lead you. I get the impression you are not with your "new love" anymore. I'm sorry you are finding that you can't remain so selfish and still be in a relationship - most women past the age of 40 won't take that on these days. And the women you choose most of the time can attract so much better...

 

Well have fun. I have not really had one single urge to contact you in the past two months. This writing is mostly a confession that I "peek" occasionally, just out of curiosity. Even that has been much less lately.

 

:-)

[Petunia20]

I am back here again so soon because I looked at your Twitter acount. I also tried looking at hers but I guess its private now. I had gone 2 weeks without looking. I need to have more self control. Of course you're not going to post when you are sad or when you two are fighting. I can understand that. All of it will be pure bliss and heaven-like statements about your relationship. This weekend was the first time since you left that I slept really good. I fell asleep with Moe and had one of the best naps I have had. WHen the night time came I felt good being held by someone again. However, this morning when I left, I came back to reality. He is not someone I could build a life with. I wish things were different. i wish he was older and then maybe we could work out. I have to accept that you are not coming back. I guess I have kind of accepted it. Mornings are still harder than nights. So maybe throughout the day I will feel better about you. Am I still in denial because I dont believe that you are 100% happy? U post that you are and that you have found the one, but part of me wont let me accept or believe that. Yet, there is no other reason not to believe otherwise. So I will continue living my life the way I have. Enjoying every moment I can with those who do want to be part of my life.