Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[RightThere]

I realize now that I can never trust you again. EVER.

 

Everything you say, everything you do, there is probably a lie in there somewhere for me.

 

As much as you want it, we will never be friends after all is said and done. We will be two people who can be civil with each other, but nothing more.

[Lost_Dragon]

Remember that apartment we wanted to get together?

It's available now.

I just found out after our conversation yesterday.

Made me sad for a minute.

Then I laughed at the irony.

You're getting a place with your new "boy" friend.

If you make it until January with him.

I hope you do.

If not..

Even if I'm still single.

I won't try again.

One more time and I think I'd die.

Do your best with this new guy.

Or the next.

But never again, This EX.

[im_thedude]

"Oh, but your love is such a swamp. You're the only thing I want"

 

One of those chilly, maudlin mornings. The sky is so freaking blue. I just want to marvel at it with you

[TylerDurdenn]

Miss you baby, maybe we could go see a movie and get some dinner? I love you with all my heart, as always x

[Never Again]

I actually have nothing I want to say to you.

 

It's rather surprising - and, in a way, disappointing.

 

I was unabashedly, undeniably, irresponsibly in love with you.

 

When that bonfire faded, I was scared. I missed the heat and the radiance, the uncontrollable BURN.

 

But then I discovered the embers. It took me a month to realize they were there, as I was used to something much more intense, but they were there. Warm, consistent, enduring.

 

I still kept my distance from you - I needed time to sort out some personal quibbles that were dragging me down and I didn't want you subjected to them.

 

In that time, your bonfire turned to embers, but you thought it only ash. I know you tried a little to keep the fire going, but couldn't you embrace the warmth of the coals for just a little while? We burned so hot...we needed a break.

 

But, you threw water on the whole thing. Doused what little remained.

 

All because you didn't feel how you expected to. You "didn't feel it in your heart"...yet you still claimed to love me.

 

What a crock. I'm not sure you know what love is. I'm not even sure you ever loved me. You're impulsive, driven by infatuation and sexual interest, or at least that's how it seems.

 

I still have embers left, and hate that you stirred up sparks at that wedding. You were interested until you realized I was too, and then you chased after "your doctor" once again.

 

I guess I did have something to say. Ultimately, that I guess I never knew the real you. Curious feeling. I don't know if you're immature or an addict.

 

Or maybe my ability to express the fact that I could feel hurt, disappointed and discouraged simply wasn't masculine and attractive enough for you.

 

Regardless - you kinda suck. Just a little.

[Jolly Roger]

Hey A,

 

I love you so much and I miss you, I want you and my girls to come home but I can't be around your 21 year old daughter. She cusses me and threatens to kill me, runs my house and dares me to try and be a father to our daughters. You can't control her and often don't even try but rather point out how it's somehow my fault.

 

I love you and I want you but I have to protect myself.

 

I'm sorry

[Jolly Roger]

I think I would block her from fb and make up her mind for her. Been two years down a very similiar road and she still can't decide...you may as well get it over with. Do not beg or cry like I did. If you walk away and go nc and block her from fb, it'll be better than hand wringing and being a wimp, trust me, I learned the hard way.

[love1336x]

It does bother me that we will never talk again.

Very much so... But what is a girl to do?

Your my dark secret that I don't bother to tell anyone.

Not my best friend, not my mother, nobody expect the people here.

I miss you so much. </3 so very much.

[love1336x]

I'm tired.

Good night my love.

I hope I do not dream of you because sadly enough not even in my own dreams do you want me back.

[AnyaNova]

I know I said that I wasn't going to do this anymore.

 

But I think it is similar to training your body. Sometimes you need to stop, and sometimes you need to push yourself. I know I can't be posting in here every night, because that was just strengthening the "connection" if you will (yes, thank you imaginary peanut gallery, I know the connection is only imaginary at this point, I don't need reminding).

 

I keep seeing guys who look similar to you out of the corner of my eye. They all seem to look like you. And each time it is like a knife in my heart.

 

I am trying to "spotless mind" it where you are concerned, because that really seems like what you are trying to do with me. But it isn't working.

 

And even tonight, when things were so good. I had my my muscle screening tonight before beginning training, and he taught me a few exercises. I thought that I was going to suck at the exercises and need a whole bunch of correction, I mean, he had to give me a few, but not that many, and in fact, I kept hearing words like "good" and "nice" and "great form." And I was amazed. I thought, given my memories of junior high gym class that I was going to be terrible. I mean, I know that the actual training session will actually be much more difficult, but still.

 

I felt really good for so long, and then I got home, and the two or three guys I saw (one in a car that looks like yours) out of the corner of my eye, that looked like you and all had women with them hit.

 

I had gotten to a point where I could imagine you making out with other women and it didn't bother me. Why does a simple and possible date (even theoretically speaking) bother me?

 

I read that post by Pfenixfire on the thread about "I know why my relationship failed." And I immediately thought of us, because we were both guilty of that mentality. And I really wonder what could have happened between us if we had tried a relationship with that mentality.

 

And I wonder if to you I am just a crazy ex girlfriend. I am sorry my problems caused some problems, and I know that they did.

 

Damn I miss you tonight. Wish you missed me. Wish you cared. Wish you still loved me. But since I haven't seen any of the local beggars riding horseback, I'm pretty sure I know the state of those wishes.

[McMike]

I don't think you realise the amount of damage you've done to me but I understand you have to live your life. I wish we had met a little later on in life, when we're both ready to commit as I don't think I'll ever stop loving you. I know I never told you to contact me again but I know you will. I hate you for doing this, and it's going to take me a while to forgive you, but I understand in our current circumstances, it was probably the best thing to do. I really don't know if I'll ever get back together with you again. Heart says yes, mind says no. Must let you go.

[love1336x]

I'm afraid to break NC.....

[JustaRegularGuyZ]

Third week of No Contact yet I know more about you than you know of me.

 

I deleted you from my life: Pictures, teenage e-mails, Love letters, phone numbers, and I have nothing left of you. Why do you keep my old Love letters and my e-mails when I erased you?

 

I force my mind to forget you but I miss you for some reason.

I want to just write to you but not to you, just the image of you, a shell of someting that you once were. I don't Love you but I miss the little things: Movies and even sex at times. It wasn't the best but it was fun.

 

I had a girl falling for me, who wanted so many things with me but she asked for "time and space" because she is afraid of dissapointing me. I know in most cases those three words mean "I am not interested" but in this case she was too honest and open with me, so I have to wait.

 

I miss talking to you Kitty, we had fun. You are trying so hard to make new friends to mask the emptiness that is within you since you dumped me. I know you too well. You miss the thought of me but you don't want to have me back, just the way I feel. I miss you as a friend but I don't want to be friends yet, I know that I will take you in bed and you won't be able to resist. I can't do that to you again.

[AnyaNova]

I'm afraid to break NC.....

 

Yes! Be very afraid. Be extremely afraid.

[TylerDurdenn]

Miss you like crazy, no matter where i am or who i'm with i constantly feel lonely.. I wonder if you ever think of me

[Jolly Roger]

Hey A,

 

I love you so much and I miss you, I want you and my girls to come home but I can't be around your 21 year old daughter. She cusses me and threatens to kill me, runs my house and dares me to try and be a father to our daughters. You can't control her and often don't even try but rather point out how it's somehow my fault.

 

I love you and I want you but I have to protect myself.

 

I'm sorry

 

You are either too busy to talk to me or, like last night, don't want to talk to me. Chasing you, begging you, pleading with you, is a complete waste of time.

 

I'm going 180...

[love1336x]

Yes! Be very afraid. Be extremely afraid.

 

I never used to feel that way before... </3

[AnnaAnna]

I'm afraid to break NC.....

 

Don't do it please! It will hurt more!

[greenfairie]

My ex texted me happy birthday.

I really wanted to lash out on him and scream at all these nasty words and tell him to **** off FOR GOOD.

STOP TRYING TO CONFUSE ME.

WHY do guys keep coming back thinking you can still be friends?! Are you ****ing kidding me?

[AnyaNova]

You know what?

 

You made your decision.

 

Somehow, with all the exercise I do at the gym, all the weight lifting (probably badly needed with all the bone and muscle loss from all the years of gluten), cardio, and everything (I am almost considering taking up kickboxing--there is a class there), I am going to exorcise you from me somehow, I mean, not the tiny part of you that I will always remember and love a little bit, but everything else?

 

OUT!

 

I am tired of this.

 

You are choosing whatever you are choosing for whatever reason you are choosing it. I think your fundamental choice was entirely fear based, and I think at some point in your life, when you get old enough to start to perceive how your family system trampled all over your needs and wants, you will live to regret losing a person who was uniquely suited to helping you discover them without imposing mine on you (and I am so sorry about trying to convince you to spend the night, if I had any clue at the time, I wouldn't have gone there at all).

 

But I am choosing to lose this.

 

I am tired of feeling like the pathetic high school girl loser who can't get over her jerk ass boyfriend (and again, I wish you were a jerk ass boyfriend, it would make it so much easier to get over you).

 

I am choosing at this point to manage my health and life through fitness and the gym, I am choosing (as soon as I can afford this aspect) to manage my life by getting ADD coaching, my nutrition, and I am choosing to revamp my life from the ground up. When I am done, I will be even more organized than you are, and equipped, no matter what happens, to reach my goals. And when I am done working through my own stuff, and making sure that I am not solely attracted to others with AvPD or AvPD traits, I will find a beautiful relationship like the one we could have had.

 

But it will be better, because it will last, and it will be with someone strong enough to face the fear of pain that love can bring with it. The vulnerability.

 

And you? When you start to realize how much of your life, your needs, and your identity you have given up wholesale to what others' want? When you start to realize that most likely, even if you get into another relationship, you will play it safe with someone who won't upset your parents' applecart?

 

When you start to wonder what could have happened between us and how your life might be different if you hadn't left?

 

You will have to live with the sure and certain knowledge that you brought this about. That you made the choice. And that even with that choice, I not only lived and thrived, full in my identity.

 

And that someone else got the incredible gift of my love that you threw away because you were too frightened I might leave you.

Edited November 7, 2013 by AnyaNova

[Frank13]

It really sucks that the one person in the world who is most important to me, is the one person who can't be in my life. What's the freaking point?

Edited November 7, 2013 by Frank13

[love1336x]

I dream about you every single day.

I'm annoyed!!!!!!!

[AnyaNova]

Last night I had my first dream about you.

 

Only a couple of months had passed (same time frame as real life), but you had already married a Mormon. You didn't seem happy. Not particularly unhappy. Just not happy.

[im_thedude]

Hey Slutface Vainglory,

 

Go **** yourself

[thishatteredsymphony]

I want to punch you in the face and give you your first nosebleed.

 

Right now, at this moment in time, that would make me happy.