Post here instead of contacting your ex!

October 21, 2013

I hope one day you understand what it feels like to have your heart broken. I hope you fall in love with some so special that you feel sure what you have will never end and then she leaves you without ever looking back. And I hope you'll love her with every fraction of your being and that she takes whatever happiness, dignity, and pride you had left and dissolves it the dust that's left behind. In then end maybe you'll be a better, stronger person than you are now.

I don't mean to sound bitter but until you know what real heartbreak actually feels like, you have no right to tell me that I hurt you. I was l loyal to you, I was faithful, I respected you, even when I was angry I never raised my voice. And above everything I waited you you when you left to follow your dream. I can't believe you had the nerve to tell me that watching me get on a plane to do the very same thing was too much for you or that when I broke up with you for one day in a moment of pain and frustration it shattered your poor fragile little world to a point where you couldn't trust me anymore even though you've done the same thing to me at least 4 times in the last 3 years and didn't even have to wonder whether or not I would forgive you...my love for you was absolutely unconditional and I would have pardoned any anything you'd said or done as long as I knew you wanted to do better.…so I'm sorry that perfect girl you used to dream about in high school and can't live up to the standards of your imagination…poor f***g you, you have my upmost sympathies…

and no, we can't be friends like we used to be, I'm sorry that it hurts your feelings but at some point I have to start thinking about me the same way you were thinking about you when you decided to leave me.

Btw...if you do find someone else, just know that she'll never be as good in bed as I was. I taught you everything you know and you'll never be able to forget it. Even your pastor noticed something was different about you after being with me. And maybe Im ego tripping a little but I deserve to for once.

October 21, 2013

if you love someone let them go. I let you go, but cant stand this feeling deep down that you aren't coming back.

I hurt myself so you could be happy. I hope you understand that. This was really and truly the hardest thing Ive ever done. I am getting help now thanks to you. I will be better and you started me on that path.

Im sorry I was an ass and so bull headed. I wish I would have seen it sooner.

Im not ready to tell you to have a great and wonderful life so Ill just wait on that. Like you told me ...see you later.

October 21, 2013

August... September... October... It is now the third month and things are not any better.. Today I cried again because I really miss having you in my life...

October 21, 2013

You send me the most amazing bouquet on my birthday. Do you have any idea how happy it made me? I started crying. A lot. Tears streaming down my cheeks. From happiness. Well. It was only the third or fourth bouquet you send me during our 6 years together. And one month later you dumped me. Just like that. A month after the BU, you wanted me back. Told me I was your dream girl. That you could never build your dream life without me in it. That you wanted to marry me some day. And a month after that, I found out you'd been seeing your colleague for a month. At least, a month according to you. But I can't trust you anymore. During that month you told me you were not seeing anyone. You told me you never wanted anyone but me. And when I asked you about her. When I asked you why you took your phone with you to pee. When I asked you why you had a lock on your phone, you told me it was nothing. She was just a friend. You had to lock your phone because you left it in class sometimes. Excuse upon excuse. And stupid as I was, I believed you, when you kept insisting nothing was going on. I believed you.

Wow. You are really a bad person. I had never seen that coming.

October 21, 2013

I miss you.

I really hope that Joel is not right on this.

Because if you are with someone right now, especially without major therapy, you are going to do the same thing to her that you did to me.

You are going to fall in love (in your own way, you really are such a romantic), and that is going to activate all your basic fears. If it is that coworker of yours, it may take somewhat longer because she is there in your city in a job she is not likely to leave anytime soon. But they will become active again.

Maybe she will become friends with another guy, maybe she wants to take a trip alone, I don't know what the trigger will be for you, but there will be one. She won't mean to activate it, but she probably will

And then, you will break both of your hearts, just as you broke both of ours. Because the fear that she will leave you will become to great. You made it twice as long in an official relationship with me, so perhaps with her you will make it 3 or 4 months.

But I actually think not. You took down your okcupid profile, and as far as I can discern, have not put up another. And you were very convinced that last night, that you were too fragile, too unable to cope with the emotions that come with a relationship.

But, please for the love of all that is holy. If you did get into a relationship with your colleague or someone else, please God get your butt into therapy now. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. Go. Because if you do not, you will put her and yourself through this hell. And you may be used to it, but most of us are not. Do not put her through what you put me through.

And if you break up with her, go NC. Don't, for the love of all that's holy, let her see on that day of the breakup, how you feel about her or how much it hurts. And never after. And find the courage to tell her how you feel about her. Yes, I knew. You showed it in your unique ways. But it would have been nice to hear it.

Do not do this to anyone else.

Please.

I am not saying to absent yourself from relationships for the rest of your life. I am simply saying to get yourself the help you need before you attempt another one. Before you hurt her as much or more than you hurt me.

October 21, 2013

I miss you.

I really hope that Joel is not right on this.

Because if you are with someone right now, especially without major therapy, you are going to do the same thing to her that you did to me.

You are going to fall in love (in your own way, you really are such a romantic), and that is going to activate all your basic fears. If it is that coworker of yours, it may take somewhat longer because she is there in your city in a job she is not likely to leave anytime soon. But they will become active again.

Maybe she will become friends with another guy, maybe she wants to take a trip alone, I don't know what the trigger will be for you, but there will be one. She won't mean to activate it, but she probably will

And then, you will break both of your hearts, just as you broke both of ours. Because the fear that she will leave you will become to great. You made it twice as long in an official relationship with me, so perhaps with her you will make it 3 or 4 months.

But I actually think not. You took down your okcupid profile, and as far as I can discern, have not put up another. And you were very convinced that last night, that you were too fragile, too unable to cope with the emotions that come with a relationship.

But, please for the love of all that is holy. If you did get into a relationship with your colleague or someone else, please God get your butt into therapy now. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. Go. Because if you do not, you will put her and yourself through this hell. And you may be used to it, but most of us are not. Do not put her through what you put me through.

And if you break up with her, go NC. Don't, for the love of all that's holy, let her see on that day of the breakup, how you feel about her or how much it hurts. And never after. And find the courage to tell her how you feel about her. Yes, I knew. You showed it in your unique ways. But it would have been nice to hear it.

Do not do this to anyone else.

Please.

I am not saying to absent yourself from relationships for the rest of your life. I am simply saying to get yourself the help you need before you attempt another one. Before you hurt her as much or more than you hurt me.

Anya,

I may not be right. I just think it's better that you assume the worst - for your sake. In your case, it might be better to assume that he really doesn't need fixing, that you two were wrong for each other and that he found someone who is a better fit for him and he has moved on.

You've come a long ways in the short time we have been here. We both have. I look back at some of my earlier posts and see how shaken and out of control I was...I'm glad I don't feel that badly anymore. You and I are going to keep doing better. In a few months time we are going to get even stronger. Keep posting as much as you need to. Let it all out. We are going to get there, all of us.

October 21, 2013

We had the most incredible sexual chemistry. Though I've tried and tried to stop...my desire to have one more night with you is getting stronger. We've had light contact in the last couple of weeks and though neither one of us has expressed getting together in any way..I can't stop these thoughts. I want you so bad.

But I know it'll wreck me emotionally ...

So I'm staying away.

October 21, 2013

13 Months since the break up and still I realize at last how bad you actually were to me , 3 years together and I always treated you like a princess. Now I have dated 4 girls 3 of which I ended up hurting because I just don't care anymore, you really did destroy me my perception of the world and people in it has changed drastically, I actually find it amusing when couples who have been together 2 minutes say they are really happy because I know it doesn't last. I hope one day someone will prove me wrong but for now with couples splitting up after 3, 5 even 10+ years together it seems more and more that like everything in this life nothing is forever and everything has an expiration date

October 21, 2013

Anya,

I may not be right. I just think it's better that you assume the worst - for your sake. In your case, it might be better to assume that he really doesn't need fixing, that you two were wrong for each other and that he found someone who is a better fit for him and he has moved on.

You've come a long ways in the short time we have been here. We both have. I look back at some of my earlier posts and see how shaken and out of control I was...I'm glad I don't feel that badly anymore. You and I are going to keep doing better. In a few months time we are going to get even stronger. Keep posting as much as you need to. Let it all out. We are going to get there, all of us.

Yeah, I remember some of my early , "really want to contact him right now.." Threads. I am better than I was. And again, now that a couple meals in a row haven't hurt nearly so badly, and I'm absorbing my vitamin b, I seem to be getting better on the whole Tim thing.

It's actually pissin me off a bit.

Everytime I think, "here's proof. It's situational. It's me. It's not my brain chemicals.

And nearly every time, magnesium or b vitamins will turn out to be the culprit. Gack! I did not need that trip down memory lane about how badly I felt for a long time after it happened.

Am glad to be cradling back up out of it.

I'm not saying that I didn't love Tim or that it doesn't still hurt. It definitely does.

But not nearly so acutely.

October 21, 2013

Why am i writing this to you while i am out with some friends? I ran the magazine today. You would have like it. Full of colour, maybe too much. I am smiling through clenched teeth at my friends jokes. I wonder what you are doing? Who you are with? Does he make you smile, laugh? I wonder if you touch him like you used to touch me. I miss your touch. I miss your post it notes on my fridge. `Haydn buy bread` `Haydn we need beer` `Haydn i took the last of the tea! Sorry, luv you. SX` I miss watching you make up in the morning. God i am such a `mug`. Miss you.

October 21, 2013

Ugh! I just want you to contact me. To show you still care a little, even if it is only breadcrumbs. This stony silence really is cold. As if you don't care at all.

October 22, 2013

Your email was received. I had it filtered to another folder.

Today I am not even strong enough to read it. Maybe I never will read it.

Who cares now anyway. The only thing worth telling me and then backing it up with actions would be getting back together. Since that hasn't been said or acted upon who gives a **** what you wrote. I won't be demoted to "friend" to have the constant reminder you walked away without trying after a year. I won't be your ego kibble so you don't have to feel guilty.

Your loss! I gave you everything, was the best gf, your family and friends liked me. You wouldn't even try to do the heavy lifting a relationship sometimes requries. Wimp! I don't need one of those in my life anyway. See ya.

October 22, 2013

I am so tired of this. Our LDR was over back in December 2012 and I should have just stuck to no contact then. But somehow we started seeing each other again in March and we continue to stay in contact. Now you are seeing someone else. You broke up with him last week and then called me and texted me that you missed me, that you loved me all weekend. Tonight you admit you took him back. Why were you telling me all these things then? Enough is enough. I have wasted a whole year and tons of money and it has gotten me nowhere with you. Time for both of us to move on. I am really staying NC this time. I need help folks ...

October 22, 2013

As I am getting better from the glutening, as I've had several meals not end up with me curled up like a baby in a little ball, and as I've been able to absorb more of the nutrients and the supplements I take...

I am getting back to where I was with you. It is receding again.

I am not sure why my brain chemicals going out of whack, seems to want to take me on a return trip to how I felt right after our last meeting, but they do.

Tim, I am sure that I will always to some degree miss your laugh, and your ability to make me laugh, and the strange ways that we each saw wonderful things that the other didn't.

And I will always wonder why you have gone so cold to me. I think, we actually could be friends, because I think that's maybe all we were ever supposed to be, if I had listened to my gut. I think it knew, and knew what the eventual end would be, even if it didn't have the specifics or the precise knowledge of what all the issues were.

But you continue to hurt me by your silence. Why do you wound me? At this point, I would say I probably need a month or two more before we could be friends but we could, as long as we were willing to navigate differing levels of closeness based on each of our relational status and how comfortable (or not) we each were with the others. It could be manageable. And even if it would only be to hear your laugh as we wish each other Merry Christmas once a year or something, at least your unique viewpoint wouldn't be lost to me, and mine to you.

What did I do (is it that you can't forgive me for those facebook posts, you have no idea how horrible I feel about them, they disclosed too much and too terribly and were far too rooted in speculation. I just was afraid that we would never speak, and you would never get a chance to consider those issues, and if they were something you needed to think about. that is not an excuse, and it doesn't make it right. I was very wrong and I cannot apologize enough. I really really hate myself for giving into the impulse to post them!) that you continue this silence?

Edited October 22, 2013 by AnyaNova

October 22, 2013

I could make you happy, you know

If you weren't already

I could do a lot of things

And I do

Tell you the truth I prefer the worst of you

Too bad you had to have a better half

They're not really my type

But I think you two are forever

And I hate to say it, but you're perfect together

So **** you and your untouchable face

October 22, 2013

I could make you happy, you know
If you weren't already
I could do a lot of things
And I do

Tell you the truth I prefer the worst of you
Too bad you had to have a better half
They're not really my type
But I think you two are forever
And I hate to say it, but you're perfect together

So **** you and your untouchable face

So much anger there. So much despair.

As everyone here seems to be constantly reminding each other, we will get through this (though sometimes I wonder if that's a promise or a threat...:-p).

But remember that there are multiple someones, lots of them out there, who are just naturally better suited to you and for you than she was. Who will be able to fill your needs better than she could, and whose needs you will fill better than you could for her.

Tim and Robbin ultimately weren't for us. That means that later, we will find the people that we were meant to be with, and that we will ultimately be much happier with.

Time, cocoa, and kitties.

October 22, 2013

Ugh! I just want you to contact me. To show you still care a little, even if it is only breadcrumbs. This stony silence really is cold. As if you don't care at all.

That's exactly how I feel.

October 22, 2013

So much anger there. So much despair.

As everyone here seems to be constantly reminding each other, we will get through this (though sometimes I wonder if that's a promise or a threat...:-p).

But remember that there are multiple someones, lots of them out there, who are just naturally better suited to you and for you than she was. Who will be able to fill your needs better than she could, and whose needs you will fill better than you could for her.

Tim and Robbin ultimately weren't for us. That means that later, we will find the people that we were meant to be with, and that we will ultimately be much happier with.

Time, cocoa, and kitties.

Astounding that you remember my exes name. I think I only said it once it twice. You even spelled it right!

I may not be as angry as I seem. In my last post I was quoting song lyrics. And yes we will all get through this. Cocoa sounds good!

Edited October 22, 2013 by JoelBarish

October 22, 2013

That's exactly how I feel.

Make that a double!

October 22, 2013

I don't want your breadcrumbs I want all of you... </3

October 22, 2013

Hey, How are you love?

I miss you.

What gives?

I found somebody else... I like him a lot... Maybe even more than you...

October 22, 2013

Jilted by Sylvia Plath

My thoughts are crabbed and sallow, 

My tears like vinegar, 

Or the bitter blinking yellow 

Of an acetic star.

Tonight the caustic wind, love,  

Gossips late and soon, 

And I wear the wry-faced pucker of  

The sour lemon moon.

While like an early summer plum, 

Puny, green, and tart, 

Droops upon its wizened stem

 My lean, unripened heart.

October 22, 2013

In hindsight it was hard to make you laugh. The only thing you ever laughed hard at was your own jokes...but they were really funny jokes. I never did get that serenade you promised to write me, you wrote me a lullaby instead. your mom never liked me much but she was always nice to me. you never had time to spare, but the time we did spend together were the sweetest moments of my life. When one of our mutual friends warned me you didn't know how to be in a relationship I thought they didn't know a thing about you. They were right but I know you tried very hard for a long time. You've broken my heart so many times but you always fixed it back up. You annoyed the daylights out of me and I, you...almost like a brother or an awkward best friend. Somehow it just made me feel closer to you. I can't seem to think of the bad things without acknowledging the good behind them…how am I supposed to not want you anymore?

October 22, 2013

Going the confessional route. :-). An appropriate choice for this thread.

Jilted by Sylvia Plath

My thoughts are crabbed and sallow, 
My tears like vinegar, 
Or the bitter blinking yellow 
Of an acetic star.

Tonight the caustic wind, love,  
Gossips late and soon, 
And I wear the wry-faced pucker of  
The sour lemon moon.

While like an early summer plum, 
Puny, green, and tart, 
Droops upon its wizened stem
 My lean, unripened heart.

October 22, 2013

Btw, on this forum, you might want to go a little easy on the Plath. A little goes a long way in a forum that every once in a while actually does see a suicide threat. Since I joined in August ( the funny thing is, I really have no memory of joining before the last meeting, that's how badly the last meeting affected my brain), I have seen at least three or four.

Keep posting the poetry that expresses how you feel, but maybe change it up, there is an awesome one if I can remember the title (or the author), from my advanced poetry class.

Sign In

Post here instead of contacting your ex!

Recommended Posts

LeXii

monkeymaid

KCCK

Janni

AnyaNova

JoelBarish

seekingpeaceinlove

Sokar23

AnyaNova

Haydn

AnyaNova

Sweet108

tem7074

AnyaNova

JoelBarish

AnyaNova

AnnaAnna

JoelBarish

love1336x

love1336x

love1336x

bedelgeuse

LeXii

AnyaNova

AnyaNova

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...