Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Frank13]

My heart is playing tricks on me telling me the reason I suddenly miss you after 20 months is because I am ready to be friends like we started and I just miss the friendship. My head knows better and is telling me the time it is okay to be friends is when I no longer want to be. Yeah, so the answer to when we will be friends again? Never.

[thishatteredsymphony]

Dear God what have I done?!

[Petunia20]

I'm thinking about the last time we spoke....

I was so.... Needy...

This NC can it redeem me?

I hope so....

I feel the exact same way! I practically told him I would move 2 states over to be with him. That I would leave my family, friends and life behind and start new with him. I practically begged him to work things out with me. I lost my dignity. I'm hoping NC will help me regain it.

[im_thedude]

Ever since I saw you went on vacation to your hometown, where we had planned to go around this time of the year, I've been thinking of you so much.

 

... But you're with this guy you met online, likely staying at his place. And you actually like him! I saw your flirting with him.

 

I'll continue NC out of respect for your wishes. I'm so mad at you, and I'm trying so hard to convince myself to never let you back in my life. I think you're personality is a trainwreck. Between how you left me, how you disrespected me during our relationship, and how you're happy with this other guy (for this vacation at least), I should have no reason to have hope of you coming back.

 

Yet I still have that nagging sensation in my heart that, maybe as soon as you come back home, you'll contact me and be ready to try again.

 

So I'm stuck holding out this hope for you to come back, when I know I shouldn't take you back. But if you were to show up at my doorstep with that look in your eyes, I couldn't for the life of me...

[AnnaAnna]

Today is 7 days since I started NC. Not once did you try to contact me just to say hi or to see how I'm doing. I am not surprised. I knew it was coming.Yeah, I didn't want to believe it.

I thought you cared about me enough to miss me at least. I don't think you do.

I am glad I got to see the real you because you could have dragged me along for a long time. I am healing but slowly. I still miss talking to you.

You knew I was hooked and you took advantage of me.

You were my drug but I am stronger and will never let you near me again.

[Petunia20]

Everyone is gone and I'm still sitting here working in my office. I'm trying to drown myself in work to seem busy and important. I can't go home and wait for you to be off because I will be waiting forever. I cant go by your work and get kisses or take you lunch because you're not there. Am I stupid for still thinking that you have some love for me? Am I stupid for thinking that not hearing from me hurts you? I miss you so much. Sometimes I think our relationship was different and that I will be one of the ones on this site that will hear from her ex. That somehow we will find our way back to each other. That our love cannot die just like that. I'm just a fool tho at the end of the day. I fool myself into thinking you miss me. In reality if you really missed me or loved me still you would look for me. I always try to rationalize what happened. I never actually got a goodbye from you or a "I dont love you, I dont want to be with you" . I got a "I'm confused, I cant give you false hope and I still love you" and then silence. You shouldve just been a man and told me "its over, I dont want to be with you anymore, move on". I'm in so much pain over this even after 4 months. Enjoy your weekend in that dry, empty boring place you call home. And enjoy the life you choose.

[clementyne]

Did you feel a tiny bit sad for maybe a sliver of a second?? GOOD.

[UnknownFX]

I was searching for you on FB today to check if you had blocked me because I did 2 days ago. I'

m

glad you did , now I don't have to keep looking at your profile no more. I can now heal and let go peacefully.

[clementyne]

My heart hurts. Is it because you're in pain? Do you even know what pain is?? It would make me so happy if you answered yes and the cause of that pain is me. Not cause I enjoy hurting you, but cause finally you would feel how I feel. We would be the same for a change, sharing the same pain, as we used to share the same joy once upon a time.

 

If there is a god, then you will be sad tonight. If there is a human heart inside you, then it will be hurting a little. And if I am right, then my faith in the universe would be restored somewhat. For all that I have endured these past few months, please let me be right. Just for once.

[JoelBarish]

My heart hurts. Is it because you're in pain? Do you even know what pain is?? It would make me so happy if you answered yes and the cause of that pain is me. Not cause I enjoy hurting you, but cause finally you would feel how I feel. We would be the same for a change, sharing the same pain, as we used to share the same joy once upon a time.

 

If there is a god, then you will be sad tonight. If there is a human heart inside you, then it will be hurting a little. And if I am right, then my faith in the universe would be restored somewhat. For all that I have endured these past few months, please let me be right. Just for once.

 

Oh Clem it sounds like I am not the only one who had a bad day. I hope your not in too much pain. Maybe God will grant both our wishes. I think I must have got on his bad side awhile back.

[JoelBarish]

Well howdy there!

 

Why did you walk out of Taco Bell tonight? Did you suddenly decide you weren't hungry for tacos?? Or perhaps you were ashamed of yourself that I saw you with that ogre-looking-person?? Oh here I felt bad for losing you all this time. But I feel better now knowing that you left me for Shrek. I knew it was Shrek when I saw the ass following him through the door (you). I never knew you were voiced by Eddie Murphy. That's kind of creepy actually.

 

Well in all seriousness how DARE you try to lay the blame for the break up on me?!? You've made many mistakes in your life, I guess this is your biggest EVER! Honestly you are a born loser and you deserve the life you have made for yourself. You made your bed missy now lie in it.

 

You're a bad mother. I feel sorry for your children. I thought if we ended up together I could help make their life better.

 

You were a horrible gf.

 

You're a terrible speller. Seriously get some help, it's ridiculous.

 

Stay out of my town. Stay in your crappy house on the farm like you wanted.

 

But guess what Robbin? You will never know that I cared enough to write all of this to you. All you will ever get from me will be cold indifference and NC unless you finally pay me what you owe me, then I will acknowledge you enough to take the money from you.

 

Oh yeah, I could have dated someone else 8 months ago but I chose not to because I wanted to keep you. She was younger and better looking than you. Yeah.....that's right lady....I've TURNED DOWN better than you.

 

Lmao I am in tears here. My last memory of you will be you running out of Taco Bell like you had diarrhea from all the tacos....oh that's right you didn't have tacos, did you?? No tacos for the shameful. Mine were delicious, thank you very much.

 

One last thing, I hope you feel bad for what you've done. As for me, I feel free.

Edited October 5, 2013 by JoelBarish

[AnnaAnna]

Tonight I'm drinking and having fun! I want to text you to tell you what a jerk you are to let me go. The one person who took you as you are. I know all about your drinking and your drugs but I still loved you. I would have been there for you, loving you, picking you up when your depressed, telling you how special you are, how amazing you are....The only person who would never let you down. But you let me go! Why did you let me go?!

Is she going to be there for you once she finds our about all your problems?!

Will she still be there or will she run like others have?!

Will she ever love you like I have?!

I won't be there when you realize how much I have sacrificed just to be next you! I would have never run from you but you pushed me away! I would have loved you forever!!! Remember how many times I begged you not to push me away because one day I will not come back!

I love you B....

[AnyaNova]

It is raining tonight. I thought I would be a little sad, thinking of how I would never get a chance to convince you to play out in the rain.

 

But several things are happening.

 

Last night, I without thinking, answered a question on okcupid. I hadn't done that since I posted that pic of me in that sundress that was new, that I took just for you, and put that as my profile pic, as well as putting a couple of more recent photos in.

 

I was inundated by a barrage of visitors and messages. There are several interesting, as well as that guy that I am texting. But.

 

There was one in particular. Quite a unique personality. Great smile. Rapid trains of thought. He is definitely an N, the opposite of you. And I think that is good. In the future, I will be open to SJ types, but right now, I think the shared N would be good.

 

He just looks so much more sure of himself in the world than you ever did. It is sad. I am not sure how I missed that.

 

But Troy, he summed it up perfectly. He said, "Tim was just too much work!" Indeed. And when I told him (because we hadn't seen each other since the beginning of August) about our last meeting, he himself commented that clearly you had more problems than I could help you with.

 

He is right.

 

It is sad. But right now, I am not thinking about playing with you in the rain. If I think of you, it is that one pic you sent me, where you are struggling to look confident and professional, and not succeeding very well (at least at looking confident).

 

But this new man. He is very intriguing. I could see myself, if he is interested as well, cuddling with him this winter. It would be nice.

 

I do still miss you, but it is growing less. The rain now makes me consider new possibilities, and not just old ones. I think, if not already, very soon the tables will turn (if they haven't already). I think you will begin to realize what you gave up, when you sent me away.

 

The light and warmth we could have had. And if it doesn't already, it will hurt. But you made your choice.

 

I will recover from this. From the pain you chose to put both of us through. I think tonight, I can wish a little that you do too.

[AnyaNova]

Last night, after I wrote the previous message, I listened to a beautiful piece, called, "Amarilli, Mia Bella." sung by Cecilia Bartoli.

 

The lyrics are all about how much she loves this man. Originally, some of the lyrics went, "Prendi questo mia strale" which apparently meant take an arrow to my heart" which preceded the lyrics, "you will find Amaryllis (presumably the name of the guy) written on my heart. However, later on, they were changed to, "Dubitar non ti vale" or, to doubt does not avail you.

 

And I realized.

 

a) This song will forever in my mind be associated with you. It is not an aria of a happy and well-adjusted relationship. When I hear it, from now on, I will think of you. I wonder if you have any songs that you will forever associate with me?

 

b) There will always be a small corner of me that will love you. Even when I am wholeheartedly in love with someone else. I think that anyone I would be with, would hear our story, understand whatever it was that prevented us from being together, and would understand.

 

c) I kind of hope that there is a part of you that will always have a little bit of what I describe in b, for me. Just a little. Not much.

 

I hope that you can find a way to heal that wounded child that had to send me away, to hurt both of us, instead of risk that he might be hurt. So that you can find a way to trust.

 

And love. And life

[JoelBarish]

I hate you. Stay away from me forever

[AnyaNova]

I hate you. Stay away from me forever

 

Did something else happen? Are you okay?

[JoelBarish]

Did something else happen? Are you okay?

 

No nothing else happened. I just dread leaving the house now because I am scared of seeing her again. I don't know how you would react if you were in that situation but I imagine you react better than me. To me it was really traumatic. My anxiety is really bad and I feel sick to my stomach. And I slept only 3 hours last night. I was doing good up until yesterday.

[AnyaNova]

How I would react would depend upon a lot of factors. Last night, I went to a restaurant with a friend of mine (and a couple of his friends) and saw a back of the head that looked vaguely like my ex's. 99.99 it was not him. We ended up having to leave anyway, because I have a gluten intolerance, and they really weren't able to assure me that anything would be safe, but I was having a mini freak-out even knowing that 99.99 it wasn't him. If I actually saw him and knew it was him? Depending, I could see my reactions being anywhere from putting on a super confident appearance to bursting into tears and having to run in the opposite direction. I am sorry that this is affecting you so badly. This woman's taste is so bad that she left you for an ogre. :-) You definitely, I am sure, can do better.

[Blastoplast]

I'm doing GREAT -- this new girl I'm dating is fantastic! Hope everything is OK with you, I hate to say it but I am glad you're doing well in your new life too. This break-up was probably one of the worst and best things to ever happen to me, so in a way thank you for making it happen.

[Still-I-Rise]

I hate what you did to me and the children.

 

I hate the kind of man you turned out to be. I am so disappointed in you and sad that I ever knew you.

 

No financial support! Really? Who does that?

 

You berated your cousins for years for the lack of support for their children outside of marriage and look what you did to your children and your wife of 22 years.

 

How very awful all of this turned out to be -- needlessly!

 

You have acted recklessly and ruinously and I hope the Universe deals justly with you.

 

And the woman you are with must have known this type of pain in order to assist in causing it to come upon another family.

 

I am not looking forward to seeing you at the hearing and have no intention of discoursing with you. In truth, I hope you don't show just as you told me not to as I don't want to see you again nor breathe the same air.

 

Right now I am hurting badly but I know in the long run I will come off victorious - the children will too. You have merely bruised us in the heel.

 

You inauthentic lying scum bag peace of s..t

[AnyaNova]

The meds I had to be on for my breathing, glutened me. I am hurting (physically) very badly today. I am working on stats though. And getting completely caught up with two of my classes, tomorrow.

 

Do you miss me?

 

I am in limbo. Looking back between you and forward to this new possibility.

 

But I know, that by mid-winter, I would like to be in a relationship, if possible (and providing that there is someone I deem worthy of dating and who deems me so worthy).

 

I am o.k. on my own. I know that. I am not young anymore, and the older I get, the more the cold and dark of winter remind me of the ultimate end. I would like some warmth, light, and love to combat that.

 

I wonder if you think of me. If you are dating someone else. Or if you, like me are still single. What a sad mess you and I turned out to be in the end.

 

Back to my life and stats.

Edited October 5, 2013 by AnyaNova

[JoelBarish]

I'm not sure why I am writing you anymore. I don't really miss you much. I just want you to know that you didn't full me. I knew there had to be someone else despite your lies. I know that you will regret this some day. With me you had a chance for a better life but you settled for the same old crap you have always known. I don't want you anymore. You will regret the way things turned out but I won't. I found out just in time how you really are. You only pretended to be the person I thought you were.

[Petunia20]

I tried to sleep and I couldn't. Had such an awesome night last night and woke up with no hangover. Had an awesome day today and now as I try to go to bed I have all these thoughts that wont let me sleep. I hate to sound like the typical scorned ex but I truly feel like I never knew who you were. Or what you were capable of doing. You are so ugly inside. It hurts so much to think back and match up certain signs. How when we were supposedly working on us you were still talking to that poor young girl. And now six months later you have dumped her too like an old rag. You guys lasted 2 official months....Were those groupies of yours worth losing me?

 

I think back about all of our vacations, memories and just every day life we lived and I see nothing but great times. And how we never fought about much and it makes me wonder what was real and what wasn't. For me, I thought all of it was. I think that I overthink too much at night. How could someone fake a 3 year relationship? What is the point? Its a waste of time. What were you trying to achieve with it? I hope you are lost and confused. In my stupid fantasies you send me a long heart felt email but that is a fantasy and hope I need to kill. I cannot expect anything from you but lies. You're family and you are so ugly. To hurt and lie to someone who did nothing but help you out. Everything I did for you I did to better yourself not me. When we met you had no car and dressed horribly. You had no friends here or knew anything about this awesome place. You left this state a rock star and now you are a big fish in a little pond. You're welcome! I hope you go back to being what you were when I met you...a poor skinny kid from NM. Never good enough for me! But somehow you're the one who left me....so joke's on me

[im_thedude]

Gosh, my heart has hurt so much these past few days. No matter how hard I try to concentrate on how bad you were to me and how much you've hurt me, I STILL find myself playing out some scenario in which we get back together.

 

I tell my friends with certainty how I can never, ever get back together with you. The truth is, I still want to though. I still love you.

 

And despite you going on some vacation with another guy, and not talking to me once since dumping me, and all other odds stacking against you're wanting to give this another chance, I still have this burning desire to defy those odds and keep fighting for this.

 

I don't expect a thing, but I guess I'm telling you I still dream.

[AnyaNova]

It looks like I am in the process of arranging my first date since we last spoke with each other.

 

Do you miss me? Do you wish that I were with you?

 

Was maintaining your status quo--whether it be reducing the fear that I might leave you by making me go instead, or whether your parents forced you to, given the amount of money you owe them for your condo

--was it worth putting me through all that pain? Was it worth putting yourself through all that pain?

 

I hope you think of me sometimes. I hope that you lie awake sometimes and can't get to sleep because you are thinking of me.

 

I hope you know in vivid detail, what you lost when you sent me away.

 

Soon enough, we will get to test your statement made in August that you would be happy for me if I started dating someone else.