Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[thishatteredsymphony]

Just looking back on my posts here I've realized my progression from sadness to anger. But this anger is helping me. Each time I remind myself over and over and over of what you've done and think about everything that was wrong with you to begin with, I accept more and more the truth: you are not worth it. You never were. Yet I continue to wish you well, and hope you'll be happy.

 

That's the best revenge I could inflict on you. Ignoring you completely and realizing to myself you're not worth it is the ultimate revenge.

 

You thrive on wanting to feel wanted and loved, and when you don't feel it your self-worth plummets. Because you don't know how to love yourself, you place your value on whether or not a man is in your life. You have a man now, but what happens if and when you break up? You've already proven your lack of integrity by cheating. Unless you really change for the better (which I sincerely doubt will happen) if and when this relationship ends you're going to find yourself right back to how you felt before we met -- lonely and worthless.

 

It's pitiful. And that's my revenge. That is the satisfaction I will carry with me now. You are not worth my time, and neither are your memories. You were the biggest mistake of my life, and I regret the years I wasted on you.

 

Now I just need to reach true indifference, and I will be free of your poison.

Edited September 21, 2013 by thishatteredsymphony

[seekingpeaceinlove]

I miss you. I wonder if you..

[JoelBarish]

I want you back

[ellowmay]

I miss you. I want you back, but at the same time I don't. I know you can cast me off easily, I wish I could do the same to you. I take comfort in knowing that I can't just forget love and treat it like nothing like you. I'm a human and I feel things to their fullest extent, because that's what life deserves. Of course you have moved on, you got all the friends and the support structure, I got nothing. No wonder I'm having such a hard time. You were supposed to be my friend. What happened to that promise?

[JoelBarish]

It's almost 3 am. I can't sleep. I was doing so good the last few days. Then tonight I laid here and thought of you. I thought of all the special occasions we had together. I want to cry but I can't. I feel so anxious and upset inside. I look for the light under my door but you don't come here anymore. I always said you were the light in my life but now my light is gone.

 

My phone doesn't go off. No text message comes. Who are you with tonight? You're so needy that you couldn't possibly be alone. You are so strong without me, so sure that you don't want me. You must be with someone. There must be a reason for all this. I am so tempted to look at your FB so I will finally have answers. But I dare not look because I am scared of what I will see. I don't think I am strong enough to endure seeing what I don't want to see.

 

The house creaks in the darkness. I hear sounds in the night. My mind plays tricks on me. It's not you here. Your key is gone. You're gone.

 

The other I texted I missed you. You didn't answer. I texted how I long for your kiss. You did not respond. How did things turn out this way? You must be happier in your world without me. You certainly aren't here with me. I know that this time there is no going back. I wish that I could give up the hope that you might.

[AnyaNova]

Last night I was doing so well. I was able to talk very rationally about everything regarding us without much emotion.

 

And then I remembered a couple of things, while examining our last night rationally.

 

1) The distance you stood at the frozen custard place. I made sure to plant myself in a place first, so that you would choose the distance you stood, thereby showing me the emotional distance you wanted from me. If you had been emotionally separating from me, you would have stood farther back. You chose to stand so close to me that we barely would have had to move to kiss. Again demonstrating that what you, yourself, fundamentally wanted was for us to be close.

 

2) The way while walking while at the same place, that you didn't walk a little ahead or behind me. You walked right beside me. Guys who are in relationships will walk right beside their partners and give their full attention to them. Guys who are not, will walk a little ahead or behind you to both signal that they are not "with" you in that way, and to be able to scope out other women.

 

The more I break this down, the more I think your family made you choose. The more I think you wanted me out of your life as little as I wanted you out of mine.

 

But later on, after I put these together, I slid again. I was back to fantasizing about you coming back to me, about you deciding that being forced to choose in that manner was fundamentally wrong, and that you were not going to be forced into such a choice (and of course, in the fantasy, there was much hugging, cuddling, and kissing).

 

You made the choice, though, and apparently the choice to send me away was easier than the hypothesized struggle with your family.

 

I miss you. I miss your arms around me. I miss your laugh. I miss your voice. I miss the things that you see that I don't.

 

I wish I could stop wanting you to come back to me.

 

And the thing I forgot to write.

 

That last night, I chose not to kiss you, because I didn't want there to be anything that could even possibly be construed as manipulation on my part. I think you get enough of that in your own life. If you chose to get back together, I wanted to be sure that it was indeed your choice, and not pressured by anything I did.

 

But now, being more sure, I think that I should have kissed you. I think that perhaps your family was putting you in an impossible place and maybe for goodbye, for closure, maybe we should have kissed.

Edited September 22, 2013 by AnyaNova

[stormer1092]

Why were you the one who always were afraid of me leaving you for someone else? You just did it to me. Yea we were going through a tough time but you know what? I've never thought of leaving you EVER. But look at me now a better job and being everything you wanted me to be. Your loss. But when you realize what you had don't come crying back to me. You did it to yourself.

 

"I thought I needed you but no one needs someone who can't choose between true love or just lust I guess the worlds not enough" - secrets

[Nancy87]

A part of me is dying to hear you, hold you ight now.. and the rest of it is struggling to move on..

 

Like you said to me once..

You are the first thought in my mind when i wake up n when i go to sleep..

 

I would be some one else's soon if u dont come..

Decide wisely, u know what i was for u..

 

love u my baby.. my sweet cute baby.. wana hug u!

[JoelBarish]

Please please PLEASE text me. So that I may have the pleasure of NOT answering you and maintaining No Contact.

[AnyaNova]

I really want to challenge you.

 

I know I shouldn't. I know I should accept this and just move the heck on.

 

But I want you to be the man that I believe in, that I know is within you. None of your behavior indicators that night, none of them, suggested anything other but that you still wanted me in your life and didn't want me to leave.

 

I think whether the manipulation was financial, or purely verbal, that you were manipulated into having to choose between your family and me.

 

I wish you would come back to me so that we could find a way to be together. That you would stand up to your parents, be the man that I believe in, the one that knows himself and is willing to fight to protect himself and what he wants in the world.

 

I wish that you would call me tonight.

 

Who am I kidding, even if by some chance you were reading this, that you would know it was me would be completely unlikely.

 

I miss you. I miss the man you could be. I miss the man you were.

 

I wonder who you are right now.

Edited September 22, 2013 by AnyaNova

[stormer1092]

Your dead to me. I can't believe what you did and thinking it was ok. Lust vs Love LEARN IT.

[NickyG2704]

Hi Y,

You told me you'll always be here for me and that you'll love me to infinity.

And yesterday you left me saying you cared about me.

It was so sudden and I wasn't expecting it. You were the first person I fell in love with and the one I would give my all to. Lately I've been trying so hard to make you happy, and I thought you saw everything I put into this relationship. And now I'm alone and I'm wishing you were here with me, but you're not. And you will never be with me again.

I know I'll move on one day, but the pain I feel right now is unbearable.

And the thing that hurts the most is that I told how scared I was of getting too attached because I didn't want to feel the way I'm feeling now. You promised me you won't break my heart and you did. you did. And I hate you because I didn't deserve this.

It sucks when you realize you loved someone more than they loved you. Its the worst feeling.

[JoelBarish]

You were so needy in our relationship! How can you not be needy for me now? It's so obvious to me you have someone else. Why couldn't you have been honest with me when you ended it?

[love1336x]

Sooo, I am going to NY this weekend.

I was thinking about contacting you, and asking to hang out....

 

It's been hard, but I won't ask you out. Why should i?

for you to tell me, "no"

or for you to have sex with me, and then I will feel so worthless?

 

I am done being rejected by you.

I am done trying for a second chance.

Yes, I miss you, and this doesn't make me miss you less, but I am just so tired of it all.

 

You win, you can be alone, you can let other exes use you, and who knows? maybe they will love you again, but i am done.

 

I am no longer being controlled by my heart.

I want my freedom in my brain again, without me always thinking about "what ifs"

[ellowmay]

She will never match up to me. Your relationship with her will never be as good as ours. You will lose this battle, it will bring you only pain and suffering. You know this, you feel this, you will bring this about.

[Nancy87]

You are an ! just had a look at ur fb page and u are wooing another girl.. If she was so good, u hadn't fallen for me in the first place. u r an immature piece of ****! who couldn't even make up his mind. I am hating you right now!

 

God will NEVER forgive you for what u did to me! NEVER!

 

Our fourth month post breakup is about to complete! U ! u left me to die and said to me you cant help it. But of course u can help wooing other women.

 

HATE YOU.

JERK

 

****ING RETARD.

 

 

When i marry, it'll burn ur ass!

 

HAte u and ur bad family blood.

[Nancy87]

i am on these forums, trying to ****ing heal my broken heart that u broke . u piece of ****!

 

And whereas u are wooing another women. HATE YOU!

 

*******!

[RiceaRoni]

**** you.

 

Hope your having fun sexing it up with all your female "friends"

 

ha! And to think, I told you I loved you and took a lot of **** from you trying to help you recover.

 

You frustrate me to no end. I'm glad I told you to stop texting me. It would have just been that much harder on me.

[JoelBarish]

Someone was here earlier and I thought it was you. Why can't it be you? Where are you? Do you think of me?

 

Why did you do this? Some day you will realize what you gave up and then you will want me back. But you don't understand how you have damaged the trust and respect between us. Things could never be the same now

[thishatteredsymphony]

The struggle continues. It's a good thing we're 300 miles apart, because my anger toward you is almost overwhelming.

 

My new job starts today. Time to channel my rage into something constructive.

[AnyaNova]

You can't be the man I believe in. I don't know why.

 

Oh, I am sure you will succeed, do well. Get your CPA. Marry some nice girl who won't be too picky about trying to define your needs and wants as separate from your parents. Someone who won't upset your family's applecart by insisting that you are important, and that what you want to do and need are important. Moreso than what they want you to do and need.

 

The better part of me, hopes that I awoke something inside of you, and that as time goes on, you begin to strive to discern them for yourself, and to treat yourself as important in your own right, and to act on your needs and desires (as long as they don't hurt anyone else) because they are you.

 

I fear though, that if you haven't at this point, you won't. That you will continue on, and wake up 20 years from now having buried yourself and your needs so deeply that you don't even know who you are or what you need.

 

Will you even know what you lost in me (who would have so fiercely tried to help you discern your own needs and fight hard for your right to act on them, even if it meant fighting your family for it) until that point?

 

Do you have any clue right now what you have lost?

[ellowmay]

Why the **** did you advertise your twitter for your music if you're just going to use it to talk about -dis ho-

 

Goddamn you.

[ellowmay]

You can't be the man I believe in. I don't know why.

 

Oh, I am sure you will succeed, do well. Get your CPA. Marry some nice girl who won't be too picky about trying to define your needs and wants as separate from your parents. Someone who won't upset your family's applecart by insisting that you are important, and that what you want to do and need are important. Moreso than what they want you to do and need.

 

The better part of me, hopes that I awoke something inside of you, and that as time goes on, you begin to strive to discern them for yourself, and to treat yourself as important in your own right, and to act on your needs and desires (as long as they don't hurt anyone else) because they are you.

 

I fear though, that if you haven't at this point, you won't. That you will continue on, and wake up 20 years from now having buried yourself and your needs so deeply that you don't even know who you are or what you need.

 

 

Will you even know what you lost in me (who would have so fiercely tried to help you discern your own needs and fight hard for your right to act on them, even if it meant fighting your family for it) until that point?

 

Do you have any clue right now what you have lost?

 

 

I know e.x.a.c.t.l.y. how this feels.

[AnyaNova]

Down to the heart rending last meeting, where everything he actually does indicates that he doesn't want you to leave and that he wants you close, but he sends you away anyway, and you are 99 to 100 percent sure, though he'll never tell you this, that his family made him choose?

[ellowmay]

Well actually his family is less about manipulating him directly as just being a spiraling black hole of codependency and substance abuse that sucks him in over and over again so yes in a way they influenced him but not against me, towards them. But yes to the first part.

 

I always believed in him, that he could change, that he deserved better, and that we could make our dreams come true. I was his eyes, I kept him aware of reality, taught him things his parents couldn't about self confidence and following his potential.

 

Sometimes you realize that the harship that happens is for you, not them. You are the one with the otential and so much to gain, not them. You are the one, not them.