Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[AnyaNova]

It is raining now. Both where I live and where you live.

 

You and I had that gag about me convincing you to play in the rain. I never got a chance to, because the weather never cooperated while we were together.

 

I don't know. I wish I knew why you left me, when sending me from your life was so difficult for you. I mean, I think I know why, but it is only conjecture. For all I know maybe you just wanted to get with your colleague. Probably not from what you said. I don't know. The combination of prednisone and hefty prescription cough syrup does not do good things for my thought processes or my mood.

 

I was doing so well last night and today. And then it had to go and rain and make me think of you, and our gag, and what you said about how nice cuddling in the winter would be. As if you were certain we would still be together in the winter.

 

I am pretty sure that the death of our relationship was not you or me. I am pretty sure that the moment I said that your needs might be different from what your parents' think they should be, and that you should focus on them was really the start of the death knell. I think you told them I said this.

 

I don't think I had a ghost of a chance after they knew that I wanted you to be free, whole, and autonomous.

 

Damn I miss you right now.

 

I am torn between the hope that you don't see this, so that you don't see the power you still hold over me, and the hope that you do, know its me, and hurt like I do, and wish we could be together like I do.

 

This is such a mess. The last memory I have of you is you running after my car to the end of your sidewalk as I drove away after you sent me away.

 

Nothing makes sense. And the mixed signals are doing my head in.

[thishatteredsymphony]

I'm sorry you're going through this hurt. My ex was more or less very similar. The stories she would tell me about guys breaking her heart over and over again, how she just wanted to feel appreciated and then I came into her life and things got better for her. Then she goes and cheats on me and dumps me for the other guy. I don't understand it and never will I suppose.

 

Rant all you need to, that's what this is here for. Time will heal you, and one day you're going to find someone who will treat you so much better and you're going to thank your ex for giving you that chance.

[petall]

Saw a couple of things about you tonight. We are SO compatible. Why could it not have been? I was the perfect girl for you. Do you realise what you threw away?

[bumblebee22]

amen girl, we do deserve better.

that's the all star line isnt it? "i just want to be single and figure myself out before im ready" uhhh you were "ready" for the 2 years we were together so why all of a sudden are you not ready? it's so hard though because here's someone who does something really ****ed up to us and you wanna hate them but you don't and you still want to be with them but you can't. hold on to your dignity, he'll be begging for you when he sees that you're better off.

[AnyaNova]

Preach it sister! We all deserve better than that. You deserve a man who will wait until your comfortable, who wants to be in a relationship, who doesn't blame all his problems on you. Who treats you with respect and love.

[loveiswar101]

When I saw you yesterday , my heart jumped a beat you looked so beautiful. Why can't we fix this. I miss you xxx

[Mr Scorpio]

Like I said when I actually wrote you yesterday, it wasn't the most "expected" reason for me to break NC after a year and a half. But if I hadn't been forced into doing it, I don't know if I would have ever done it on my own. I should have thought to have you sign that document back in 2010 when we were "dating" again.

 

So, now the truth is out. You've gotten married. I've wondered for over ten years how I would react when I heard this news. I've had dreams of you walking out of a church in your gown. I will say that, after all you've been through, you certainly deserve to be happy. But I'm not happy for you. I don't know if I'll ever be able to be happy for you. No. I'm mad. I'm mad at myself.

 

You treated me terribly the last time around. You used me to get over dumping the guy that you left me for in the first place. But that wasn't all. It wasn't enough for us to start hanging out again, becoming FWB. No, you had to have more.

 

You told me you wanted it all. You told me to tell your sister to help me pick out an engagement ring for you. Then, you left for the wedding and ignored me for days on end. When you finally stopped ignoring me, it was to tell me that you were having doubts about us as a couple. Then, when I finally saw you again after all those days of twisting in the wind, you got angry at me for being sad about you ignoring me and 180'ing on me. You said that you wanted time alone that weekend at a music festival -- which was our "thing" -- but that there wasn't anybody else in the picture.

 

Lies. You knew what you were doing the whole time. You knew you were going to be meeting your now-husband at that festival. You knew you were keeping me around as a backup plan. After 17 years, I was a backup plan. I saw it coming all along. I cried yet didn't want to believe it.

 

And then you break NC a year and a half later to tell me that you miss me and you miss "us". But you wouldn't elaborate. Why? Because you were simply testing the waters to see if I was amenable to the idea of taking you back in the event things with my replacement went South. Apparently they didn't, because then you went back into silent mode. Is it any wonder I ignored you at that concert last Summer? It was either that or explode in public infront of my friends.

 

And the saddest part of all? Is that I'd probably still take you back. I can't imagine being with anyone else. I can't imagine not comparing everyone else to you. I very well could spend the rest of my "dating years" alone, playing out memories in my head and asking "what if" I hadn't screwed up the first time around. Or "what if" I wasn't so **cked in the mind that I'd keep coming back for more.

 

/End rant

[love1336x]

I know I am preventing myself from healing

I don't want to let you go to be honest.

But, I do find myself enjoying life and you not being in the background of my thoughts.

 

I think my brain had enough of you.

If only my heart did...

 

I don't want to let you go my papi bear. I really don't.

[Nancy87]

Heartless

I loved you and u said i will be the last woman in your life. still you left..

Its not fairrrrrrrrrrr...

I miss you.. i dont know how long will it take to forget you

[JoelBarish]

I thought that for the rest of my life you would be there. I thought as long as you were breathing you would want me. I can't believe my world changed so much. What happened?

[No_closure]

Our anniversary is coming up next month. How PATHETIC that we couldn't even get through 1 whole year of marriage. How PATHETIC you copped out and didn't even want to TRY! You really, really will regret it. That's not a threat, it's just a fact. You were such a loner before and even during our time together. You think your new buddies at work are going to hang out with you 24/7? You pulled this crap before we got together. And came crawling back 3 months later. I am just waiting for that email from you. I know it will come.

[ChasingCars]

It's been 4 months, wow.

My life has changed so so much in so many ways you wouldn't believe it but sometimes I still think of you.

Sometimes I catch myself mimicking an old facial expression I would see on you at times.

Sometimes I still miss you or feel an interest in knowing what you are up to.

Your Birthday is in a couple weeks, Happy Birthday.

 

Season starts soon as well.

 

4 months and you never once looked back....

[JoelBarish]

I don't know what to say anymore. I want what we had back so badly. How can I ever take you back after this? How could I ever trust you with my heart again? Don't you realize how you have damaged what wanted to have together? You're probably with someone right now. Eventually you're going to figure out that no relationship can compare to what we had. One of these days you're going to beg for my forgiveness. I just hope that I have the strength to say no

[JoelBarish]

**** you!!!!

[JoelBarish]

Why didn't you fight for what we had? We're you only pretending to care? You could have at least tried,

[Nancy87]

EVERY SINGLE FREAKING THING WORD PHRASE REMINDS ME OF U..

I wonder if this world reminds u of me as much??

 

i believe we have the ability to do what ever we want,, dont blame others for ripping us offf

 

Kis tarhan, cheeny ga, mujy sy yeh jahan tujye

 

The love inside me calls u .. what do i do?

[JoelBarish]

Just tell me there is someone else so I can give up hope of getting back together

[thishatteredsymphony]

Well, I got a job. An even better paying job than what I had when we lived together. I start on Monday -- exactly 3 months to the day I left, away from the apartment that was supposed to be our first place, the home I helped you put together and you had the gall to invite him into...

 

I hope this job is the first sign of many new opportunities to come my way. But still, not a day goes by I still don't wonder what we could have been.

 

I'm still angry with you, but I also wish you well and continue to hope some day I'll get past this anger and be truly happy for you.

Edited September 20, 2013 by thishatteredsymphony

[Klaatu17]

The very last thing you ever said to me was "you need to get the f*** out of this bar!" I said I wanted to wait for you...you repeated it. I got up turned to you and said "You broke my f***ing heart." I then turned to your new friend (the one that you had been talking to all night that started all the trouble to begin with) and said "She's all yours...Good Luck". And with that I exited the bar.

 

You came to the bar with me, was it really too much to ask to spend the time in there talking to me and not some random new guy? We had just spent all day together, now it suddenly felt like you had abandoned me. As I told you, I was not there to be your wing man! I felt like I had come to the bar by myself! Yeh, maybe my jealousy played a part in it, but you certainly didn't help matters by constantly telling me to "Chill the f*** out!" Jesus, talk aboutfanning the flames...

 

So a week and a half later I texted you an apology and said that if I didn't hear from you that I would leave you alone. I am now on day 52 of NC. It's not easy, and I've wanted to text you so many times, but I must be strong. My next goal is 60 days...after that I'm shooting for 90!

 

Good bye forever D...and yes...you really did break my f***ing heart.

[L1ght]

...Coward.

[JoelBarish]

I am out having fun without you. Wish that I didn't wish you were here

[AnyaNova]

I am stuck at home sick on medications that I have to take to control my cough and my breathing that make me really depressed. And all I want right now, is to see you. To talk to you. I wish I didn't. But I know you would find a way to make me laugh, to make me smile.

 

I hate this medication. I hate my asthma.

 

I just want my life back. If I weren't sick at home, I would be out doing things and I wouldn't be thinking of you nearly so much.

[JoelBarish]

Was it all a lie? Did you just use me for my bed and blankets? A place to sleep? A place to come in the middle of the night? Someone to go to the dr with? Someone to visit when you came to town?

[Nancy87]

God help me please...

I put my faith in you when i started to walk on this new road that had him as my destiny, n somehow my intuition assured me that he is the one..

N now we have been apart for so many months..

I dont know if he misses me or not, and if he does, if he misses me as much as i miss him..

 

God you know he has put his faith in You, n the direction he is following might not be thr right one, the one away from me.. But God you can help and rescue..

WHo better than YOU could know how i feel abt him, i know there were moments when i would think he might not be the right one for me, but my intuition assured me that no body is perfect and he loves you like crazy.. and you love him too..

 

God no one can help us except for YOU. coz both of us are YOUR believers and we put our faith in YOU only..

 

We genuinely Loved each other and now due to bad circumstances we have to part ways which is extremely painful. So painful that every cell in my body screams, i dont wana move on, i dont want anyone else..

God i seek your help, i pay fo ur forgiveness and kindness. Please help me. Help us find each other as husband and wife.

He told me he is in difficult circumstances and he cant do it.. But God, bu your help, everything can be possible..

My intentions are pure, my love is deep and genuine, i wouldnt value anything more than his smiling face in my hands and his soul deeply knitted to mine forever.

 

God even if u don't influence free will, please makw him realize my love atleast. make him see the reality clearly, let him know that how genuinely i love and adore him, n i would be willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to be with him. coz i thought n felt that he is my soulmate.. i felt so perfect with him..

If u cant influence his free will, atleast tell him that leaving me alone is NOT what u desire, it is NOT ur decision rather his own assumption.. coz he is being weak n he needs to be courageous to fight for the one he promised so many things to..

 

God please help! there is no one i can ask but YOU, You are the master of all creations, Please help me Lord! Please

Edited September 21, 2013 by Nancy87

[petall]

You never gave us a chance. You could have listened to me and been patient and kind. I am still trying to analyse your actions and I think I understand.

 

You are scared of commitment and chose to cut and run. I wish you had told me all your fears. We could have faced them together. The time we had was almost nothing but I felt so much for you and that we had so many similar traits. That's what you said yourself in our last conversation.

 

I miss you. I am strong but I have my days. I wish you didn't throw us away.