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Post here instead of contacting your ex!

polywog

By polywog
in Coping

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SimonSerenade Established Member

SimonSerenade

Posted
Posted

I don't even know what to say to you anymore, if you can really look in the mirror and justify how you've treated me in the last few months then more power to that over inflated ego of yours, I don't know what makes you think your so special or entitled to everything that comes your way, it's messed up, I won't go in to all that you did because you know in your head what you did and the damage it was going to cause.

 

I should of known better than to think you would ever spare me of any pain during this break up, I should have known you would break all your promises in an instant, you always did, is it any wonder I didn't trust you?, trust is a strong bond but to you that bond was rendered void a long time a go, I didn't deserve this and I should of figured that out a long time a go, I stuck around through all the crap just longing for you to make it up and take it back rather than walk away from what I knew was emotional abuse.

 

I didn't mean a single thing to you, you proved that with everything you've done since I've been out of the picture, I longed for words of meaning just to ease the pain, I searched for answers to how you could treat me this way and do all you did with me in mind, I found out people really can be that selfish and heartless and you are one of those people unfortunately.

 

I wish I had walked away long before I let us get this far, I wish I would of listened to the instincts screaming out at me but hey I'm just stupid.

Joyvke Established Member

Joyvke

Posted
Posted

I wonder how you can only call out the few times that I've done you wrong. Yes I hit you once, which was after you used me for sex and then tell me you don't even love me at all. "It just happened", then telling me you don't want to try. OFCOURSE I get upset. Sure I should have dealt it differently but I didn't. Funny enough you keep mentioning that I've done that as if I done it multiple times. IT HAPPENED ONCE. You on the other hand kept leading me on multiple times.

 

The times we fought are something you keep mentioning as well. The times I was angry and raised my voice was because you wouldn't listen otherwise and due to you seeing me as a freaking joke. Ofcourse I get mad and upset when that happens.

 

I've done things wrong, but at least I never showed fake emotions and I've always been straight with how and what I felt - unlike you.

SingOutLoud Member

SingOutLoud

Posted
Posted

I can't do it anymore. This whole "life" thing. This whole "people" thing. This whole "he's gone, just pick yourself up and move on" thing.

 

I just can't.

supaflyz Established Member

supaflyz

Posted
Posted

Hey Bunny,

 

I thought about you today and all I could do was smile. Kind of like that George Strait song " She'll leave you with a smile." I reminiscence how you use to smile. I love you you know that. I will always love you. Even though I'm over you now, I still care about you a lot. Today I wanted to see the movie The Conjuring. I'm so afraid of these horror stuff you know that. We went to watch Sinister together. I was suppose to be the brave one, but I jump too. My friends have went with their girlfriends to the movies. I'm just here home alone. Well anyways, take care my friend.

Joyvke Established Member

Joyvke

Posted
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One thing I can't shake off. Have you been faithfull all this time? Or did you actually chat up other girls and maybe even more? Those Saturdays you had to work. The fact I wasn't allowed to come to the UK with some bull**** excuse. Was that really because you felt nothing was there for me, or was it to hide me from the outside world in case someone would find out?

SimonSerenade Established Member

SimonSerenade

Posted
Posted

I had yet another restless night, hard to believe I find it so hard to move on and you've already forgotten me completely, it's not the fact your not around that bothers me, it's not even the fact I love you in spite of all of this, it's how you left with no respect to me or the relationship you left behind, an honourable person would of at least returned the engagement ring as a form of closure if nothing else, you knew you would hurt me with all you did and how easily you cut me off, you knew that because I told you it hurt me in the past with somebody else, looking back on this last year you took everything I was hurt with in the past and resurfaced it in your own way.

 

You've said some messed up things, you brought me to my knees in tears at the thought of how you could speak to me like that, even now I'm loyal to the memory of you, it took you no time at all to stab me in the back.

 

I'm not a bad person, I tried with all I had to make you happy and with very little effort on your side I tried to make it work for you yet your telling people and treating me like I was nothing but a waste of time to you, you ****ed me up and hurt me more than anybody else ever could and the worst part about it is that I think you enjoyed it.

supaflyz Established Member

supaflyz

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I don't know why I'm still posting about you. I have accepted that it is over, and I'm over you. I guess I just want to vent. I went to play basketball with my friends today. One of the guys brought his girlfriend. Then we went to eat. She was poking at his stomach, making jokes, eating his food, held hands, etc... It made me remember you and what we use to do while we went out to eat or for yogurt.

ChasingCars Member

ChasingCars

Posted
Posted

I wish I knew what you were thinking and feeling.

I really do.

 

Every time I ever ended it in the past you never lasted more than 2 weeks.

This time is so so different and it's been 3-4 weeks NC so I know it's over and I know it is for the best and you are doing it for all the right reasons you need to do it for at this time.

 

God I miss you though.

SimonSerenade Established Member

SimonSerenade

Posted
Posted

I had another dream about you, although it was more of a memory than a dream, I dreamt we were in bed, you had your head on my chest smiling at me and laughing away because we were watching threesome together, I'd forgotten all about that show up until now, when I woke up I expected you to be there lying next to me then the thought that you've probably been like that with another man by now dawned on me, I couldn't go back to sleep after that although I really need to, how did it come to this?.

 

I miss you and I love you, regardless of this train wreck I'd give anything to get back all the good that we had again, like I always said, I just can't see myself with anybody else, that doesn't change because your gone.

Ashlaria Member

Ashlaria

Posted
Posted

I missed you today. Me, Mum and my son went to lunch in Frankie and Bennys. We sat at the same booth you and I sat in last year. Remember when the riots were happening and we got that awful message on FB?

 

I wish things were different, but they are not and I am tired of wallowing. I know you are saying you love me and will forever and as soon as you are free, you are coming home, but I don't believe you. I think you are feeling bad about how you destroyed me, destroyed us, and it makes you feel better to say that. I will be replaced within the next 6 weeks I guess.

 

Good luck with everything. I am sorry it didn't work :(

ChasingCars Member

ChasingCars

Posted
Posted

I don't know what to do.

 

I'm spinning, spinning and running and spinning while the world shakes under my feet and I miss you so damn bad.

 

I try to psychoanalyze this and blah blah blah it but I just want you.

 

This phase or whatever the hell it is has me by my ass and it can't end well unless I sit on my hands and duct tape my mouth shut.

FML.

EvansR Member

EvansR

Posted
Posted

Sweetie, it's getting harder and harder to cope without you.

I love you with all my heart. You know that! And I know that you love me too! I wish I wasn't this needy, and I'm trying my best, but I just can't give up on you.

You mean too much to me! You've done everything a guy could ever need, and then more. You're incredible, and I think I took you for granted. That was stupid of me, but it's only because I loved you that I started to be controlling by taking up all your time.

Come on! Why would you message me every night telling me you love me and that you're safe if you didn't care if I knew?!

We had an amazing relationship, you said so yourself! I can learn to be less needy! But I don't want to learn to have a life without you.

Remember all the dreams we came up with? They could be real! They could be so real and so beautiful.

I really believe in us. I believe in us like I've never believed in a relationship before. I don't want anyone else. I want you and only you forever and always. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you. I wanna grow old with you. All the things that I would have never wanted to do before you, now I only wanna do with you!

God dammit honey! I love you so much! Why can't you just see what you have right in front of you?! A guy who loves you and would do anything for you. We've been through so much together, I just can't see going through everything else without you!!!

Seriously! You want this new guy because he's hot?! So f***ing what?! He asked you out and said he wanted an open relationship, but you said you'd be open for that because of how he looks. That's ridiculous!!!

I want to know where I stand with you. You can't keep stringing me along like this. You either love me or you don't, and to be honest, at this point, I'd rather just know the truth than you trying to spare my feelings. I can take it. I think...

I just think we were so perfect for each other... We only broke up because we ran out of things to say to each other and ended up just recycling the old things we used to say - saying "I love you" and "I miss you" all the time. We didn't let each other live our lives, because we were both afraid we were gonna lose each other. Then somewhere along the line you just gave up. And I was too foolish to stop you. If I could go back to that day... I would have stopped at nothing to keep you from leaving. You're so important to me... But I can't wait for you forever, which is something I think you expect me to do.

Honey, I love you. Ok, it wasn't love at first sight, but we fell in love and had a perfect year. There's still so much I could give to you... I just want the chance...

I'm gonna stop being needy. I am. It may take some time, but I am. I just hope you haven't completely given up on me... And get rid of Andoni! He's no good for you!

I love you, forever and always

 

========

 

 

Wow, reading that back to myself makes me realise how crazy I am. But I'm glad I got my crazy out here rather than on WhatsApp to her, lol. Great thread :D

SimonSerenade Established Member

SimonSerenade

Posted
Posted (edited)

I looked in the mirror this morning, I didn't care much for what I saw anymore, this bitter depressive person isn't me, you ran me in the ground and I'll never forget the evil things you've said and done to me, it was pure selfishness.

 

I forgive you and I'm letting it go, I won't lie to you, this relationship has left scars that'll run deep for a long time, I'm terrified of being close to somebody again, I would never ask for somebody's hand in marriage after what you said it meant to you, I can't even bare the thought of being intimate with another woman.

 

I wish our time together could of ended in a better light, it's hard to accept that it didn't, the last 2 months have been one day of hell after another, I can't be this person anymore, I need to throw that side of me away otherwise I fear I'll be sleeping with snakes the rest of my life, I need to focus on what I have rather than what I don't have anymore and the cold hard truth is that your gone, your never coming back, I'll never get an apology, I'll never know the real truth and I'll never know what I meant to you.

 

For the last time I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, I don't think you were of the right mind when you did these things, I think you have issues as I've never met anybody with such an up and down personality like yours, either way it's none of my business anymore, none of what you say or do is my business, I hope have a good life and I hope that your happy now, if leaving me gives me you that then I can't have any complaints because it's all I wanted for you from the start.

 

I feel I'm owed something after all of this but I don't expect a single thing from you now, I give it my best shot and I tirelessly tried to make you happy with all I had, I did all I could to make this work for you and I did all I could to make things better for you, I tried to shape myself from the inside out to be the person you wanted, I'm proud to have done that for the person I love, I have regrets and I'll live with that, the only thing I hope for in the back of my mind is that one day you might feel some regret and remorse for what you've done and see me for the genuinely good person that I am.

 

I love you and I miss you, over and out.

Edited by SimonSerenade
Joyvke Established Member

Joyvke

Posted
Posted

When you will start hanging out with another girl, would you take days off to go on holidays? Something you never did for me and me accepting it, even though frustrated. Will you be more mature and think less of yourself. Will you love her like you loved me in the start... Will you take care of yourself more and not neglect your appearances like you have done for a while now...

EvansR Member

EvansR

Posted
Posted

I really wish I could talk to you. I would, but I'm afraid that I'm just gonna say boring stuff and you're gonna get annoyed at me or do that thing you do where you just say "ok lol" to get me to stop talking.

I miss having you in my life. I know you're busy and you're young and everything, but I still miss having my little princess to shower with affection. I wish I could take back the last 3 months. I just wish I hadn't been stubborn and let you leave. I need you more than ever.

I thought about you quite a lot today - not as much as I usually do, but still enough. I thought about that scenario we used to talk about with the picnic and Lily and Peanut. It still makes my heart melt just thinking about it.

I don't know what I've done to deserve this... You know I love you more than anything. I smothered you, but you know I was willing to change. Why didn't you just give me a chance?! I know you miss me too, but you're too stubborn to say it - and now you're spending more and more time with this new guy, it's only a matter of time before you're out of my life. I just don't know how I'll cope without you in my life. For the past 2 years you've been so much to me. You were more than a girlfriend. You were my best friend, my confidante, and my heart belongs to you...

I wonder if I should ask you for that stuff back that I bought you... lol

I miss you.

tcd421 Member

tcd421

Posted
Posted

Dear J,

 

Getting involved with you was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I got to give you credit you played me well enough that my head was completely screwed for about 5 months after you broke it off with me. It was both our faults why it ended, we didn't know each other at all when we found each other just knew we had some kind of instant chemistry. I also know that it was aloo about getting your kids an expensive christmas present which i did, and you broke up with me 2 days after christmas pretty much should have confirmed you are a gold digger. You were able to keep to keep me on a string for another month, in fact i remember the night of our last kiss, i was at your place actually thinking was close to maybe another go at things, told me you were horny and even sent a pic of your tits to my phone, then after your kids had gone to bed standing there holding you in my arms before i was about to go home i kissed you for the last time ever and after that you said you would never use me for just sex before more or or less pushing me out the door. I hate you J stay the **** away from me.

 

And inspite of the pain I put R through she forgave me eventually and have been back together over a month.

tcd421 Member

tcd421

Posted
Posted
Dear J,

 

Getting involved with you was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I got to give you credit you played me well enough that my head was completely screwed for about 5 months after you broke it off with me. It was both our faults why it ended, we didn't know each other at all when we found each other just knew we had some kind of instant chemistry. I also know that it was aloo about getting your kids an expensive christmas present which i did, and you broke up with me 2 days after christmas pretty much should have confirmed you are a gold digger. You were able to keep to keep me on a string for another month, in fact i remember the night of our last kiss, i was at your place actually thinking was close to maybe another go at things, told me you were horny and even sent a pic of your tits to my phone, then after your kids had gone to bed standing there holding you in my arms before i was about to go home i kissed you for the last time ever and after that you said you would never use me for just sex before more or or less pushing me out the door. I hate you J stay the **** away from me.

 

And inspite of the pain I put R through she forgave me eventually and have been back together over a month.

Hardest thing is that i see her practially every day as she lives about 50 yards from me.
thishatteredsymphony Established Member

thishatteredsymphony

Posted
Posted (edited)

I was fine this morning. Almost great even. Yeah, you were on my mind as always -- how can you not be? The pain is still too fresh. But still, for the first time in a while I wasn't faking my happiness today. I felt good.

 

In talking to a friend from college she and I were thinking about something from a couple years ago. I started going back through my old Facebook posts to find more info on that old conversation. I thought I erased every memory of you -- I blocked you, took down all our pictures, everything. I completely forgot that Facebook will not hide old comments, even if you are blocked.

 

And I came across a message you sent me last year about how happy you were and how you wanted to be with me forever.

 

Now I wonder if you ever actually meant that.

 

God dammit, **** you! **** YOU! I ****ing hate you so much right now! I should've known better than to think your comments would just magically disappear from my Facebook feed but still, you completely ****ed up my life you lying, cheating bitch! I HATE YOU!

 

GOD ****ING DAMMIT!!

Edited by thishatteredsymphony
ChasingCars Member

ChasingCars

Posted
Posted

Dear You,

 

I tried to break NC this morning.

I wrote you a letter you will never get because it bounced back.

You did it.

You changed all your contact information so I can never reach you again and you don't have my info anymore... so that's it. You must have done it when I asked you for NC.

 

I was shocked, truly. World spinning around me kind of shocked.

Gripped by a fear and loss, I don't know how to explain.

Time for life to go on so I left all our old places behind.

I tried to go back to one last night but it just killed a piece of me seeing where you had left me a note.

 

Part of me wants to say Congratulations to you.

You can really focus on everything now and you must be happy.

 

Part of me cussed at you loudly driving in the car today.

I even dropped the GD bomb.

 

God this hurts.

You know what though...I still don't regret it.

How sh*tty is that?

I had one of the best years of my life and I'd do it again and savor every moment, just like I did the first time.

It was worth it.

 

 

It really was.

thishatteredsymphony Established Member

thishatteredsymphony

Posted
Posted (edited)

I've calmed down since I last posted. But I'm still so damn angry with you. Do you know how much pain I'm in knowing how utterly rejected I was? I guess the way I'm feeling right now is that I both love and hate you. This feeling makes me sick.

 

YOU were the one with the insecurity, not me. You couldn't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell didn't deserve me at my best. You were the one who went out and abused my trust in you.

 

God... I will be so happy when the day comes I no longer care at all.

Edited by thishatteredsymphony
petall Established Member

petall

Posted
Posted

It's been 6 weeks of NC from me and you know what, I didn't think I could do it but I did it. NC all the way from the very day you so cruelly and viciously shut me off.

 

I wish you luck with your life, keep living one without ever committing to anyone, being afraid to talk about your feelings. When you are old and have only yourself for company, the truth will hit you. I have no doubt at all you will regret letting me go. You will never meet anyone like me again - clever, sorted, successful in life, someone you had so much in common with and could talk to about anything at all for hours and hours. We were each other's soul mate and you were too immature to act your age and commit. I loved you and truly cared for you with all my heart. You threw everything away without so much as saying goodbye. Never mind, one day you will look back and think "how stupid was I to be so petty and to have hurt her so, this girl who was so right and would have been so great for my life."

 

You will have your BMW and your apartment in Beverly Hills and your partnership conferred at work but will they mean anything without someone by your side?

  • Like 2
thishatteredsymphony Established Member

thishatteredsymphony

Posted
Posted (edited)

Why is it that even though you've shown me your true colors I'm still waking up every day feeling sick? I should despise you. That should make it easy for me to get over losing you. But I still wake up feeling hopeless and hurt.

 

Please... Please God, just take this pain from me already. I've never been a spiritual type but now I'm asking... Please take this from me. I can't do this anymore.

Edited by thishatteredsymphony
  • Like 2
msfreebyme Established Member

msfreebyme

Posted
Posted

Maybe it's because I fear change, I'm lonely, and I fear finding new love. I know it's not worth thinking about you. I know I'll feel better soon.

But god damnit why couldn't you have changed!

Joyvke Established Member

Joyvke

Posted
Posted

I wonder what you're doing right now. It's so weird and I really miss our daily chats. We used to skype for nearly 3,5 years, every day from at least 7pm till 11pm and in the weekends even longer. I miss that :(.

EvansR Member

EvansR

Posted
Posted

HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?!?!?!

You know you meant the world to me and then you not only went and slept with another guy (a guy who was just using you for a free blowjob and sex) and then you told me about it because you thought I was your friend?!

You told me because you wanted to be a bitch.

I thought we were in love.

There was nothing you could have done wrong. And you PROMISED you'd never leave. And then you left. You gave up on us. You slept with another guy.

I can't believe you would throw everything away. Everything we've worked on for these past 2 years.

I wanna text you.

I wanna tell you that I still love you - but I don't think I can go on loving you anymore. You did so much to me that was great - but everything you've done while you've been on tour... It's just been too much for me.

You've killed me inside.

It wasn't you who was too good for me. I was too good for you. And I know that now.

Anyway, enjoy giving randomers blowjobs because you think that's what love is.

I'll get over you somehow.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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