Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Viv]

Hey

 

Im struggling right now, it's getting harder instead of easier. I never told you how much I liked you, partly because I didn't realise, and partly because I was scared of being vulnerable and rejected. But...I did like you alot, enough to have wanted to find out if we could have a future together. The only way I can get through this is to tell myself that you didn't like me that much, and on the basis of evidence that is probably true (so why do I have these doubts ((( ) Roll on the future, where I don't think about you, and miss you all the time. I genuinely do wish you well, all my love.

 

V

[SimonSerenade]

Wheels are turning I remember when you were mine now just to reach you baby I would stand in line but there's another world your living in tonight and there's another heart that's fading in the light...

[eachcomingnight]

Hey...

 

I haven't "written" to you in a while since I've grown away from feeling like I need to speak with you directly. But given the new developments, I feel like I need to do this to make sense of what's going on.

 

I'll admit that hearing about your decision to come here for the summer threw me for a loop. I was expecting that I wouldn't hear from you or see you over the next few months and, judging by my progress over the last two months, would end up being completely past this by the time I'm over on your side of the pond. And now this.

 

It's sparked my curiosity. What's going on in your life? I guess you must have quit your job, because there's no way that you're taking three months off after you just got hired two months ago. Maybe the "quarter life crisis" you joked about wasn't a joke, and you figured where better to return to than the place that you've been happy and fulfilled the last few summers. Does it cross your mind that you spent both of those summers with me?

 

I know it's in my best interest just to wonder and not to ask. And it's certainly in my best interest to avoid you, even though I'd been increasingly sure I wanted to spend some time there this summer. I'll find out when you're coming and I'll be gone by the time you're here. I'm strong, but not confident in my ability to face you. It's going to be hard to stick with but I know this is for the best.

 

Regardless, I hope that you find what you are looking for. I do regret that I can't be there for you to support you through this time.

[swimswithjeans]

I hate that I miss you so much.

 

I just want to hug you tight and nuzzle into your shoulder. Where I belonged for a long, long time... I would like to not let go for awhile. Or just fall asleep there for one last night.

 

And I feel... In my heart of hearts... That you will be back. And when you are, I'd like to think I'll know what I'll do... But, frankly, I have no idea what I'll do. Zero.

 

So, unfortunately, I look forward to nights. I do. Because I know, if you decide to call or text, that is when you'll do it. At least I have something to look forward to.

 

I hope you call me tonight.

Most of all I miss your voice.

[Viv]

Hey

 

I just realised that it's almost a year since I last wrote to you, and I wanted to say that I'm done . I rebuilt my self-esteem enough to not care what you did or what you thought about me. The 'me' now, would have dumped you in the first few weeks, or maybe never have even said yes to the first date! I would see your narcissism, and run for the hills!!! Im so happy about that . I am lucky that you are not part of my life.

 

Yay!!!!!!!!!

[SimonSerenade]

I'm sorry, this wasnt all your fault, I was at fault too, I'll admit my faults, I lied, I hid things from you, not big important things but I still lied and deceived and that's not right, I controlled things, i put you down and I was condescending, I was insecure and I blamed you for my own short comings, I snubbed your feelings at times, I accused you of obsurdities, I can't think of anything else right now, I'm just too tired.

 

I'm not a perfect person, I didn't tell you about my heart issue as it was a point where you didn't seem to know what you wanted and i didn't want you to feel like you had to stay because of that reason, I was condecending because it was all I could do to remain strong when I felt threatened, illnesses have taken so much from me, I had no control over anything and ended up craving to control something, I'm sorry it was things in your life that took the hit, I geuss I needed to feel needed, you took care of everything yourself, you didn't need me for anything, it's nice to feel needed, with you I never did.

 

Now for what I did right, I looked passed your faults and I stayed, that's it, goodnight, I'm done.

[Thaurin]

I don't need to cope anymore. I just have this faint regret that I never said the following. I'm not going to have contact ever again, so I'll just post it here to get this off my mind.

 

"Sara, go **** yourself."

 

There you go. Moving on.

[Viv]

I think I was falling in love with you, I'm sorry I didn't tell you that. I don't think anyone has said that to you before.

[SimonSerenade]

I'm really feeling it today, feels like I'm truly starting to accept this loss, it's killing me to know your showing no signs of weakness and can get on with your life so easily like I never existed, you were my world, how could you leave me like you did?, no apologies, no big talk, no last kiss, nothing, is that what I meant to you?, I can't pretend to be big and strong for you, I'm coming apart at the seams and you don't care :'(

[Gingerlee]

I am struggling so much.

 

No one does it better.

[SimonSerenade]

I hope you know how hard it is to stay out of your way, I know where you live remember yet despite being close by when I'm on my way to visiting my nan I fight against it, you work so close to my house, tesco is the best for shopping yet I stay away for you, I go to crappy sub par shops instead, even when I know it's your day off I stay away just incase you got called in to work, at times I get tempted to wait outside work for you and just pour my heart out infront of you but out of respect for your boundaries I don't, the most you would ever get is an email or a phone call but I know you'd never answer so I won't do that now either either, I gave you what you wanted, i made it so you never had to aee me again, that crappy iPad was the last thing that I could of used to see you again but I let you keep it instead so you never had to.

 

All I wanted was the respect from you to give me an ending and give me reasons why you did this, it hurts me to think right now you could be out drinking and doing god knows what with god knows who, that really hurts but I wouldn't know better because you never left me giving me that assurance, I'd hope you wouldn't because the girl I loved had morals and wouldn't do anything stupid and worthless like that, I hope you live and stand by those morals all your life.

 

I loved so you much, it doesn't hurt that your gone anymore, it only hurts how you left, I hope you can tell me what I meant one day and tell me everything you never did, it would mean the world to me.

[SimonSerenade]

I just wanted to hear you say I love you one last time, I wanted to hold you one last time, I wanted to stroke your face and kiss your head one last time, I wanted to tell you all you meant to me and how I'll never forget our time together, I wanted a nice ending which we could look back on and not feel awkward or sad about.

[SimonSerenade]

To my best friend, wherever you are, I hope your proud of me and I hope your watching over me right now, I loved you so much, everything has been so hard without you since you left this world, I miss crawling over to you when I'm upset and just lying in your arms, you made everything better, I know you'll be annoyed at me for letting my ex keep that present but it was just that, a present regardless of how long we were together afterwards, I know you though, you hit me over the head for giving an ex a cigarette once lol you called me dumb ass, I miss that, you cheap skate! Lol :\ why'd you have to go away?, you were the one person who understood me for who I was and admired me for it, you were such a wonderful person, you deserved so much better than you got, I'm sorry I couldn't save you, I tried, I wish I got to you sooner, I hope you forgive me for that, I miss you so much, you were my best friend, I'm still lost without you, tell god to get his head out of his hairy grey ass and put me on the right path! Chop chop lol until then ill listen to the band we loved together, long live alkaline trio!..... Don't listen to them now they're kinda crappy

[Hockeyguy19]

**** you, I'm gonna be okay

[swimswithjeans]

Hi.

 

I have been thinking so much about you the past few days... As relieved as I was to hear that you miss me as much as I miss you, I think we should not contact one another again. I still love you so deeply and we are so clearly not on the same page; it hurts too much to have contact- because I don't want to be your friend or just friendly with you...

 

I am still pretty hurt from the events of the past few weeks. I really think I have to finish what I started in moving on; I understand the closure I so wanted from you was something I will not get. The love I have... had... for you... was pretty unbelievable. I hope that you get whatever it was that I couldn't give to you. Good luck with your dad. You are so, so brave. I hope when the time comes you have people that will love and support you and I hope that you will let them.

 

Please J... If nothing else... Please do one thing for me: the next person that loves you... Please don't push them away. Life sucks sometimes and love leaves for no good reason- TRUST me, I know. And it really really hurts. I know that, too. But sometimes you will find someone who will love you and not leave... And relationships are hard and take work but please don't be discouraged J. You are a good person. You are worthy of love. You have too kind a heart to turn cynical. So please... The next person who wants to love you who you want to love... Just let them in. You might get hurt but... You might not. Don't push them away. Just follow your heart BUT don't disappear from them- it really will hurt them and you. I want you to know how special you were to me... I am so proud of you and all you have accomplished just in the last six months. You have been an incredible student and a really just.. A wonderful son.

 

I hope you don't have to feel alone J. Truly. If you do- I am somewhere in the world and I'll probably be thinking of you.

 

Thank you for the kind of love you showed me. Thank you for taking care of me after my wisdom teeth- I have really never been taken care of like that. Thank you for showing that to me and I hope I can find someone who can take care of me in the future like you did.

 

Thank you for keeping away the nightmares and all the cuddles and staying on the phone with me until 4 AM. The things we never got to do will pull at my heart for a really long time... But the price of love is loss. But still we pay, we love anyway.

 

I do think you will change the world someday, J. You'll be okay.

 

Love,

C

 

 

I'm not ready to send this yet but I feel like I will have to soon. Wow.

[CC12]

I'm not ready to send this yet

 

That's good, don't send it. I'm sure it felt nice to write about it and get it out there, but leave it at that. Or print it out and then burn it and bury the ashes in a shallow grave, if that gives you better closure. But do not send him that letter.

 

He ended it with you, so I really doubt that he would welcome an emotional goodbye letter from you.

[Calvin's wagon]

**** you. I hate you. You destroyed a big part of me. You ****ing, lying, cheating, manipulating whore. I'm still so tired from dealing with all of your ****, from trying to help you with all of your issues and be there for you while you were killing me each day.

 

I just want you gone from my head and my heart, with just a tiny, indifferent memory of being careful with what kind of women I get involved with. And to never ever speak with you again.

 

**** off. I hope very soon I will be totally indifferent of you and someone will mention you to me, and it will take me a while to even remember you and what happened.

 

I let myself you take away so many years of normalcy and happiness from me, while you came out much better and happier, all at my expense.

 

F----kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk off

[Gingerlee]

Still waiting for the day when you make it fb official with this new girl. I dont know what i'll do or how i'll cope. The thought of it literally kills me. My best friend sent me this quote and it made me smile for the first time in days.

 

"don't cry because it's over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse."

[Gingerlee]

I agree with CC12, and it takes a lot for me to say that because i'm always one to go with gut instinct and to follow your heart.

 

However, I am speaking from experience. When my ex left me for another girl last Christmas, I sent him a three page letter that i poured my HEART and SOUL into. It took me three weeks to write. You know what he said? He said "Thanks, you shouldn't have got me anything though x" and when I breached the subject a few months ago, tears streaming down my face he said "It was nice, but I don't feel that way anymore." and that was after a three year relationship.

 

Write the letter down, drive/walk to a beach or cliff or somewhere peaceful and shred it up. Watch it filter through the trees as the wind takes it. It's what I did and it was one of the most calming feelings in the world.

[reckoned]

I want to be smitten again.

[mfleck91]

Happy birthday you monster. You don't deserve to hear from me, I hope that for just a second you remember that you celebrated the last 4 years with me and that you haven't heard from me today.

 

You are by all means a monster, there is no other way of putting it. You are a horrible excuse for a human being. What I wouldn't give to be able to confront you in person and tear you down. I want you to feel the way I have felt. Helpless, worthless, out of control, filled with rage, yet still maintaining foolish hope.

[SimonSerenade]

I don't think I'll ever get used to dreaming of you and not waking up being with you, it's a hollow empty feeling, I miss you most at times like that.

 

I wish you didn't leave, I loved you so much but I took something from this, I realised when your in love with somebody it's about them, not you, them, love is such a beautiful and complex emotion, when you love someone you never stop wanting what's best for them and you never stop wanting them to be happy, it's hard but sometimes you have to take a step back even if that means your left out, it's a tough blow to take but I would of done anything to make you happy and if letting you go and sitting back watching you move on is what it's going to take then that's just what I have to do.

 

Throughout our time together i always gave you the benefit of the doubt, when times got tough and you made mistakes I forgave you and I stood by you, even now when your actions indicate horrible things, I still give you that benefit of any doubt because deep inside I know your still that sweet, sensitive and loving person that I fell in love with, before you I had other options I could of pursued, with you there was no options, from the moment you came along I wanted to fall head over heels and so hopelessly and recklessly in love with you, there was never anyone else in my eyes, you were my one and if there's one thing I never doubted when we were together it was exactly that.

 

Maybe one day I'll hear what I meant to you, maybe one day I'll understand this, maybe one day I'll get a thank you, maybe one I'll get an apology, maybe one day I'll sleep easy at night knowing how you felt and just how wonderful it was, I can't hold out for that day but it sure would be a nice way to remember you.

 

I love you, I hope you have the life you wanted now, I hope you have the happiness you were missing out on, if your not there yet you will be, you've only got so far to go, you were my world, I wish you nothing more than you deserve.

 

I promise I'll never bother you again, I'll leave you to your world and I'll stay in mine, I respect that I'm not longer a part of yours anymore, I hope you remember me for all the nice and sweet things I did for you, I hope you remember me in a positive way, I really wish I didn't throw your love letter away back then, I wish I still had something like that to remember you by, if nothing else I still have precious memories, than you for that.

[SimonSerenade]

The kindest thing you can do for me right now since I know the chances of ever seeing you or hearing your voice again is saying I love you one last time over Facebook and blocking me on it completely, I know I'll never get the ending I needed and I'll never hear the words I longed for but at the very least I would have that, i dont have have a say in anything you do anymore and thats fine, i dont need a say, i just hope you have it in your best interests to never speak to that ******* ste ever again, he will bring pain, hassle and generally nothing good to your life, if you can't do that for you then at least do it as one last kindness to me, that's it.

[SimonSerenade]

I miss you so much, being apart from you like this kills me, before we broke up I was going to ask you something but I was so confused as to what you wanted, I know you wanted to move forward but you also wanted to move backward, I wanted to ask you to move in with me, I even got a key made for the very next time I saw you and if you said no then at the very least you could come and go as you pleased, I didn't want to wake up missing you anymore, I wanted to see you every day and kiss you goodnight every night before falling to sleep in your arms, I started looking at houses and apartments we could move to and have a fresh start in, now your not here and all those plans have fallen apart, I wanted to marry you and I didn't want to spend a day without you anymore, phone calls and seeing you maybe once or twice a week just weren't enough anymore, it was killing me, I missed you every second of every day, I wasn't happy, I thought that was the fix, eternal happiness with you day by day.

 

My biggest regret is never asking and never knowing, you were the one for me, I wanted to do it right, I'm sorry things weren't how you wanted earlier on in the relationship, I wanted to fix that for us and never stop making it up to you, I knew if I could see you every day I could never stop making you happy every day, the past wouldn't of mattered because every day would of been a future we could of looked forward to.

 

I need to let that idea go, I need to forget about all of this, your never coming back and your never gonna love me again, I need to kill that hope off all together and accept it, I can't keep putting myself through the hope of everyday when you finish work you'll stop by and change your mind, I loved you, now I've got to move on and tell myself i will never be with you again and tell myself I never want to be with you again and never let myself be with again.

 

I just can't accept this pain anymore, I was a good guy with good intensions, at the very least I didn't deserve to be ignored or finished with like this, it's so hard to be this person anymore because this is what happens when I open myself up and let somebody in, I don't know what you've been doing without me I just hope you know a day hasn't gone by for me that I haven't been in severe emotional pain over all of this.

 

When I found out I could have heart problems it made me revalue everything in my life and fight again, it made me want to do my best by you, I loved you, I wanted the rest of my life by your side.

[lop98]

I hadn't cried for you in a long time, but tonight, maybe it's stress, PMS, who knows.... but all the tears are flowing. I had found everything with you... and we ruined it, we ruined it like it was the thing we hated the most.