Post here instead of contacting your ex!

June 9, 2013

I have too many words for you. I could send this all to you but I know you would never read it.

To end a 6 month relationship with the words 'let's just let go' is cowardly. For a 37 year old, you sure have acted like a boy recently. Not the man that I thought I fell in love with. How dare you act the way you have; after all of the support I had offered to you. I would have done absolutely anything for you; when was the last time you have had someone like that in your life? I loved you unconditionally and you acted like that surprised you. Well, knowing you for real now, I can understand why it must have.

When you came back the last time, you said you would never let us go again. What a lie.

You actually had plenty of lies. When I was having that rough time a couple of months ago and you said 'wherever you are, I will come to you now.' Hm... I told you where I was and you never showed up. Or when my mom was hospitalized last month and you ignored me all night- you finally called but I was so hurt I didn't answer. You said you called to tell me you would come over. LIE. Lie lie lie. Don't insult my intelligence like that. For only being 20 years old, I am so much smarter than you are.

I hate how you pretended you were superior just because you could compartmentalize and run away from the things you should have dealt with.

YOU are a mess. And I would have been there for you.

You were SO attractive to me, but, let's be real, you're 37 and not Brad Pitt. Frankly, I'm 20 and tight with a beautiful body... And you're not going to get anywhere CLOSE to better than me. If nothing else, I could have given you children... Try finding that again at your age.

Congratulations, old man. You wanted your space to just be you? Have as much space as you want, now. Go on OkCupid; good luck with that, really. NO ONE will love you as much as I loved you. And you threw it away; didn't have the guts to even talk to me at the end - the one thing I asked you to do.

Unfortunately, my heart is broken. I am excited for the day you text me; you will, undoubtedly, do that. Probably soon. I hate myself for the fact that I can't wait.

One day, J, you are going to need my sympathy. And, will I be there?

....

Probably.

June 9, 2013

Baby,

I miss you so much, 7 yrs..... you were my best friend, my love, my soul mate. All I want to do is hold you in my arms while you lay your head on my chest (where you always said you felt safe). This life is a daily struggle without you. Im sorry you became unhappy and felt you needed to pretend. I wish you would of opened up and not closed me off. When I kept asking you "whats wrong?" why did you not fight for us? Do you know how much pain im in? I don't think so, seems like you think im ok.

Truth is I don't know if I can go on without you..... im scared and im hurting.

I hate that you turned to someone else and ended things with us to move on with him so quickly. It makes me feel like dirt and that I didn't mean anything to you at all. Seeing you in another mans arms is killing me inside, the person I trusted and loved most in this world has completely ripped my soul out. Yet I can't bring myself to hate you, I only feel love. How could you give up? Everything you said, everything you promised..... He's not half the man I am its already starting to show.

I hate that you call me when you need something and not to say I love you and miss you. After everything you did, you said, all the pain is nothing compared to what I know I have to do but can't. To accept you're not coming back and move on is more than I can take but if I don't... I know it will be the end of me. I wish there was something I could do to make you come back. I don't know how this will play out, but I can't hold on to this hope anymore. I will always love you now and forever.

June 9, 2013

XXXX,

Judging from the random text messages you sent me that seems like mass texts to your Harem of women, it appears you think I am just one of the bunch. It's ok no problem because I gave you a false impression to believe that way. (My fault) I am insulted, and quite amused at the same time that you believe that the reason I stayed around and supported you this long was because of some dick. Shame on me for giving you confidence that you so obviously lack and for boosting your ego like I was your wife when you didnt even respect me enough to make me your girlfriend after almost a year. You are so ignorant, disrespectful, arrogant, and selfish that you couldn't possibly believe that I wanted you for anything else other than person you are. Sad isn't it, but I understand because if I had to look in the mirror at myself I would feel the exact same way. Worthless....

Your number has been blocked from my phone so when you get better "those are your words" don't think you will be having any fun with me. Cross me off the list. I am gone. When you realize that life is more than screwing and acting like you are Don Juan at age 56 hit me up. Oh wait email me because your calls can't come through please hang up ha ha, and don't try your call again. Signed: Tired of your ****

Edited June 9, 2013 by d0620

June 9, 2013

some of the posts ....

June 9, 2013

Every time I think of you

I always catch my breath

And I'm still standing here and you're miles away

And I'm wondering why you left

And there's a storm that's raging

Through my frozen heart tonight

I hear your name in certain circles

And it always makes me smile

I spend my time thinking about you

And it's almost driving me wild

And there's a heart that's breaking down this long-distance line tonight

I ain't missing you at all

Since you've been gone away.

I ain't missing you

No matter what I might say.

There's a message in the wire

And I'm sending you this signal tonight.

You don't know how desperate I've become

And it looks like I'm losing this fight.

In your world I have no meaning

Though I'm trying hard to understand

And it's my heart that's breaking down this long-distance line tonight.

I ain't missing you at all

Since you've been gone away.

I ain't missing you

No matter what my friends say.

And there's a message that I'm sending out like a telegraph to your soul

And if I can't bridge this distance

Stop this heartbreak overload

I ain't missing you at all

Since you've been gone away

No I ain't missing you no matter what my friends say

I ain't missing you

I can lie to myself.

And there's a storm that's raging

Through my frozen heart tonight.

I ain't missing you at all

Since you've been gone away

June 9, 2013

I hope I don't have to wait too long for you to give me that money back, in honesty I don't even care about it but I just want it back so then that will be that, nothing left between us, no reason for us to ever contact eachother again, I didn't want that but you ignored anything I've sent you since you left me plus I really don't want to be your friend, I couldn't be anything other than the one for you and that's all you'll ever be to me, nothing more nothing less.

I loved you and I don't know what went wrong or what I did wrong, right now your treating me like you hate me, you looked at me like you did last time I saw you, the same look you said you gave your ex boyfriend the last time you saw him, that hurt a lot because I thought I meant far more than anyone ever did to you, just remember, you were the one who made this decision, you were the one who felt these things, I had no hand in this, I just wanted a nice meaningful ending, something nice to look back on, that want a lot to ask was it?.

I'm not going to feel bad about something i said or did a long long time a go anymore, you've said and done far worse lately but I don't bring it up, I remember everything but I chose to forgive you so that was the end of it, lately you've brought up things that ste had said, I'm not an idiot, I know you talk to him so I don't know why you'd lie about it, yeah it hurts to be stabbed in the back like that but that's your problem, your not a dependable or respectful person, I don't know what he's said about me but just bare in mind this is a guy who lies about everything, he's a guy who lies to absolutely everyone, he's pathetic and needs to grow up, he even makes up video games that don't exist.

I'm not going to justify anything he's said with an answer because I've wasted so many years doing that and honestly, cutting that waste of space out of my life was the best thing I ever did, it's almost worth having known you just to never have to hear his crap again, he once told me you lied about how many guys you slept with, saying you'd slept with Kyle and someone from work when you first started work, after everything he made up at the beginning of our relationship I knew better than to trust his words, I really wanted to ask you about that but I never did because I trusted you, before i got rid of him, he was constantly telling me to leave you and making up crap about you, he said I've done better than you before looks wise and can do better than an ugly bitch like you, i didn't tell you all the reasons i cut contact with him to spare your feelings.

I never thought any of that so I figured there was no reason to bring it up but there you go, that's who he is and if you let anything he said cloud your judgement over me then your an idiot and your just letting him manipulate you all over again just like he did with me when he said you hated kids and had a problem with me having a son, one day when nobody is around I'll give him what's coming to him but from what I'm hearing lately he's not far off a few other guys doing that for me.

Right now I'm one hell of a good person and I've been one hell of a good fiancé to you, right now your a piece of **** and I'm kicking you off your pedestal because you are not above me, you are below me, you are not superior because you hurt me and rejected me and messed me around, that just makes you a horrible selfish person but that's kind because person would suggest you have feelings and a shred of humanity inside you but from what I've seen lately, only evil and hate reside in you right now.

I hope one day your the woman I met once more but I don't think she's coming back and I don't think I'll ever get an apology from you for anything you've said or done, just grief on top of more grief because thats all it has ever been, I forgave you for one thing having to forgive you for another straight after, you were the problem, I was the guy who had to do deal with it, part of me thinks you did it on purpose, you'd have to be an idiot to make the same mistakes more than twice but I put up with it so you knew you could get away with it.

I pray to god you at least honour your word on one thing and have enough in you morally to know right from wrong and give me my money back so I can at least spend it on someone who deserves it, one day an apology would mean the world to me, just to make all this worth while, I hope I get it.

June 9, 2013

You don't see anything wrong with me buying you an iPad for your birthday and finishing me a week later?, you may treat me like a bad person but tell me, where's the wrong in that?, forget it

June 9, 2013

I earned the money to buy that iPad and it was expensive, I worked hard for it just for you and its like you want to take my money because you think I didn't deserve to have it in the first place, I didn't ask for anything in return, I just wanted to buy you something nice because i loved you and wanted to get you something that would make you really happy, I just wanted to be loved.

June 9, 2013

I thought of you yesterday... I rested my head on his chest, and he kissed my hair, and it reminded me of that picture where you're kissing her hair. We really became that kind of people that go on, date, get married, years pass, and they always had feelings for somebody else...

I can see this happening because I don't miss you anymore, without planning it I just accepted that it's over and that I don't want you. It used to confuse me how you said you felt healthier than ever with me, empowered to follow your dreams... I know it hurt you to see me feeling differently, I did love you but I always felt at my worst, I felt inferior, weak, powerless, I stopped pursuing my dreams, you thought I was resisting, I thought I was just bad when in love. I feel all of that with him now, I want to make him proud, I never have the urge to cry when he holds me, I feel accepted, valued, lighter... I don't understand why it is like this but I want to work to make it last... and that automatically makes me give up on any future with you, on establishing anything, even a friendship.

Maybe we both had a role of transition... you managed to break free from things that were weighing on you, and I found what I thought I never wanted to find, a real relationship, with all the routine and intimacy I didn't know I could find safety in. It hurts to see that's all we were for each other... I hope I can feel genuine gratitude one day.

June 9, 2013

Forget it, keep the money, have your way once again, what else is new, it's worth that much money to never have to be treated like crap again, your a coward, you didn't even have the decency to end things to my face and explain yourself, what can I really grasp from a text?, you always said you hated my ex well congratulations you did the exact same thing she said and acted the exact same way, I've been grasping at straws for reasons to why you would do this and that's more excrutiatingly painful than actually knowing the truth.

Did she leave me for someone else?, how could she fall out of love with me so easily?, why is she moving on so quickly?, did I mean anything to her at all?, did she hate me?, did she leave me because I wasn't good enough?, I'm poking holes in everything just to find an answer, it's cruel, the easiest break up I ever had was when I understood everything and I had the peace of heart and mind to move on because of that, even though she left me, i saw it in her tears that she was coming apart at the seams, I heard it in her words, I knew my worth, that gave me closure and allowed me to move on.

This is so hard because I don't know what I meant to you, I feel worthless and my life is at a stand still, enjoy your gift, I hope it reminds you of me every day and reminds you of how selfish and horrible you've been, I deserve a damn big apology from you but your a coward, I doubt I'll hear from you again.

June 9, 2013

Got dumped about 2.5 months ago, and it's been hell on earth. Tomorrow would have been our 1 year anniversary and I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day without completely breaking down. I'm so sad. I'm so tired of being sad. I don't want to cry anymore. I don't want to miss you or love you anymore, and I want to be strong enough to stick with no contact. Talking with you never makes me feel better. Friends with Benefits has broken my heart all over again, but whenever I'm feeling weak, I cave anyway for the supposed relief it will bring me. I never seem to remember that it doesn't bring relief, it only makes it worse in the long run. On the days when I don't talk to you, I go to bed at night so pleased with myself for not giving in. And then I feel sick to my stomach because not talking to the person who I love more than anything is a victory. How in hell did that happen? How did I get to this place? Why didn't you love me enough to help me fix us? I just want to move on.

June 10, 2013

I loved you and damn I really did try, I don't know what changed, I knew commitment related insecurities were building up in your mind, I thought you would of gotten over them after some time had passed, after all your not an awkward teenager anymore, I dont understand why you couldn't of just sat back and been happy and comfortable with what we had, so many people would of given anything for what we had, I'll never understand that, i watched you purposely manipulated the relationship and sabotaged it ever since we got engaged and if you really didn't want to be engaged to me you should of said so there and then rather than make me feel like I'm lucky you even said yes, that just wasn't fair, it hurts being without you but it's nice to know I don't have to worry about wether you want me or not on a daily basis, I truly hope you made your final decision and are happy now.

After the last few times you broke up with me you did messed up things not even a day afterwards so it's hard to put anything passed you anymore or give you any kind of credit, I just hope these issues of yours don't drive you to someone's bed, there's a lot of things you can't undo and that's one of them, I fell in love with you because I thought you had love and respect for yourself, when you told me you gave yourself away to people and it didn't mean anything, that changed everything, my heart sank, you later told me it was a lie and I was you one and only, I still don't know if thats true but I hope that it is now more than ever.

Since that night you so cruelly fobbed me off, I lost all trust for you and in time I will lose all love for you too but right now as it stands I love you and I care for you, I hope you take care of yourself and make the right decisions in your life, it's out of my hands either way and only a heartless dictator would tell you how to live your life, I just know who you really are inside and it would be a heart breaking shame if that beautiful person disappeared like that.

I don't hate you, I never could and never would, I just don't trust or respect you as a person anymore, you used to be my hero, now your just somebody who let me down, i went out of town twice this weekend just to prove to myself that I wasn't completely useless and for a moment nothing else mattered because I was just so proud of myself despite how I felt, now is the time to focus on what's wrong with me and nothing else, I'm determined to fix myself and when that day comes I'll be my own hero.

June 10, 2013

I just wanted to say R, is that I didn't know how I should react after our breakup. I was in such disbelief that we broke up that I did not act like my usual self. Wasn't sure who I should have been. I do realize that I did play a part in our lashes after the breakup. Just this doesn't absolve you of what you did. I would have fought tooth and nail for us if you didn't decide to end us. You ended us, you hooked up with another guy you were talking to during our initial break, but you then decided not to hold integrity and just accept what you did. You wanted to see if we could spark and how could we? You never told me your intentions, you were trying to spark with a confused me, and you just chose the easy route. I'm sorry for everything and I do understand you made your choice. But I will never be told I didn't fight for us and didn't act true to myself with you. I never treated you as just a configuration of a girlfriend. No, I treated our relationship as its own subjective experience. I valued my talks with you R, more than just your physical beauty. For example You were insecure about how your leg curled when you walked but I let you know how beautiful I thought you were, who. How important you were to me. Just it really is time to say Goodbye. You are just a ghost. My love is dying, but it never meant I didn't love you. I cared so much and I still care for you as an individual who was a part of my life. I'm just going to need a bit of time to really have us be cordial

June 10, 2013

Today was a very hard day. I have no idea why I cried all day long. It was one of my hardest days.

June 10, 2013

Dam b*tch, after all I did for you, after 7 years, after I saved you and was always there for you when you needed me the most, you just walk out of my life and left me in limbo until I hurt so much that I had to not once but twice try and completely end it with you because you didnt have enough of a spine or backbone to end it yourself, when it was your feelings that had changed, not mine, and left me to hurt while you went out had a good time deciding whether or not you wanted to be with me. You couldn't even come and get your **** out of our apartment yourself , couldn't even bag it yourself and I had to do it for you because you felt so guilty about how this all went down. Your a coward, your weak, you don't even look that good and your NOT a princess. I put you on that pedestal, lets see you find someone who would change their lives for you like I did. Now your 24 and back at your dads house, back into uncertainty, after a good 7 years of a good relationship, with tons of good memories, way more than bad...

Good luck b*tch, you'll need it. (You just stepped in dog **** on that grass you thought was greener)

Edited June 10, 2013 by LifeGoesOnMan

June 10, 2013

This will be the last thing I ever post about you, my mind needs a major break from thinking about you, I miss the man I used to be, I miss the man you used to love, I'm determined to be that man again, I used to be happy with or without anyone, I loved myself and knew I had so much to offer.

Despite everything I love you and I miss you, I have no regrets but one for our relationship, I realised it just before our day was done but if we spent more time just accepting each other for who we were instead of what we should change about each other, we would of been happy right now, I realised it late and by the time i did you were too far gone, I always thought it took years for couples to get to the place where there completely at peace with each other and for the most part they stay that way because they were strong enough to see everything through.

You did a horrible thing the other night but I forgive you, I want my last thought of you to be a good one and though this isn't particularly a sweet one it always made me laugh, one time you came over unannounced and I was thinking about you, it was the time when we couldn't keep our hands of each other, I was thinking about you and I was teeing off, you knocked on the door and I shanked it lol to my relief it was you and we had a very nice time afterwards .

I don't think I'll ever get through the killers album without thinking about you ever again, it's actually become one of my favourite albums now, i really hope you enjoy your gift, it's nice to know you have something good to remember me by, it was worth the money it cost just for that reason, that's what I should of said, I was just hurt and angry.

I really thought this relationship would work out, I really thought we were strong enough to last, I took a lot of positives out of it either way, I think in some ways I changed for the better and I'm thankful for that, I think relationships like ours are the special ones because we were never afraid to express ourselves and tell each other what was on our mind, I won't lie, the thought of being without you scares me, I honestly thought you were a once in a life time thing, there's going to be hard times ahead, days when I love you, days when i loathe you, days when I lose all faith in everything but despite this, I hope you know and never forget what you truly mean to me and it really was more than anyone else ever has, I always hid how I felt for others because I was scared you would feel it took away from how I felt from you but it doesn't and nobody could take away what you meant to me, despite all my limitations and everything I couldn't give you, you stuck around and saw the best in me, something nobody else could of done, for that you were my hero and that meant more to me than anything anyone else has ever said or done for me.

As I write this, let it be known that I'm writing it on my vita, the device I love more than any other because you bought it for me, how selfish would I be if I took that away from you with your iPad, yeah it wasn't ideal what happened after but just seeing your face when you were playing with it, it's worth while.

I love you, a big part of me always will, I'll remember you fondly, I wish we could of ended this face to face, I wish I could of cried in your arms and kissed you one last time, I wish I could of told you all that you meant to me, I can only hope now that you know in your heart, before I met you I had no faith and I was wandering to find something to believe in, I was looking to god out of desperation and I found you, i believed he had led me to heaven because that's how it felt being with you, your purity and innocence was refreshing, there hasn't been a night since that I haven't prayed to god and thanked him for what he gave me, I believed there was a reason he led me to you and I think that's because you really are my soul mate.

I love you, I hope you never forget our time together, I pray one day we might have a chance to make heaven again.

June 10, 2013

I know you hate video games but there's a song off one that always made me think of all the beauty you were, I hope one day you come across it and have a listen, I couldn't imagine a more beautiful way to go out.

Final Fantasy 9 Melodies Of Life Lyrics

Alone for a while I've been searching through the dark

For traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart

To weave by picking up the pieces that remain

Melodies of life--love's lost refrain

Our paths they did cross, though I cannot say just why

We met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said goodbye

And who'll hear the echoes of stories never told?

Let them ring out loud till they unfold

In my dearest memories, I see you reaching out to me

Though you're gone, I still believe that you can call out my name

[CHORUS]

A voice from the past, joining yours and mine

Adding up the layers of harmony

And so it goes, on and on

Melodies of life,

To the sky beyond the flying birds--forever and beyond

So far and away, see the birds as it flies by

Gliding through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky

I've laid my memories and dreams upon those wings

Leave them now and see what tomorrow brings

In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me?

Was it fate that brought us close and now leave me behind?

[CHORUS]

A voice from the past, joining yours and mine

Adding up the layers of harmony

And so it goes, on and on

Melodies of life,

To the sky beyond the flying birds--forever and beyond

If I should leave this lonely world behind

Your voice will still remember our melody

Now I know we'll carry on

Melodies of life

Come circle round and grow deep in our hearts

As long as we remember

June 10, 2013

Why did you give up so easily? Why wasn't our relationship worth fighting for. You'd rather flush 4 years down the toilet and move on to someone new. I'm still in disbelief, I never thought you would do anything like this. We had a great relationship, we were happy and everyone thought we were great together. I was going to propose to you this week......I just don't understand any of it

June 11, 2013

I don't have the urge to contact my ex, nor do I have his #s anymore, but I just felt really down and wanted to post here. I just got a mssg from a guy I met last night, and had hoped to date. He sent me what seems like a booty call text. It just brought back bad memories. Any time that I am interested in someone and take the risk to get to know them, they just treat me like a piece of meat. Anyway. I need to lie down and cry now.

June 11, 2013

That's it. I'm reminding myself again that I don't want to hear about him or from him.

Not every man is an immature, impulsive, ignorant, clueless, polyamorous douchebag like him. There are men out there who are actually sure of themselves and will actually be so happy with the woman that they're with that they won't even need to look at or think about being with random women while they're in a relationship. There are men who will ultimately and specifically desire my phenotype, both inside and out. There are men who will be THRILLED to be in the company of my brown eyes and black hair, and not have me worry that they secretly idealize red hair/blonde hair/green eyes/blue eyes instead, given that the personalities are equal with each woman including me.

But before that, I have to become the woman that I will love above all else. By overcoming my depression, however number of years it may take, developing a stable and uplifting support system, however number of years it may take, and adapting to and maintaining healthy lifestyle habits, however number of years it may take. Most importantly, I have to journey towards self-realization and someday find my place in this crazy world-- a place where I will never, ever want to commit suicide over or tune myself out from.

And then, after every single painstaking step has been said and done, I will finally know who this person is. And I will love her. And I will want to spread that love throughout the entire world, if possible, and open my heart to all of the good people, if possible. And then he-- HE -- will come along. He who appreciates all that I am, and all that I do, and who adores me to the fullest extent, without so much as batting an eyelid in the presence of other women. And I will feel the exact same way towards him, and, while maintaining my well-deserved and hard-earned identity, will sacrifice my life for him.

--- A Page in the Life of a Stray

Edited June 11, 2013 by SingOutLoud

June 11, 2013

I tried contacting you 3 weeks ago after months and months of silence. I would think that by now you would be able to at least say go away. Or hi. Or whatever. Seeing that we are grown a** adults that have had our hearts broken many-a-times before. But no.

I guess I'm starting to realize that you are not a cool person. Not the cool person I thought you were. You are a pretentious pr*ck. You're a miserable brat. No wonder your family ragged on you the whole time when they took us out for dinner. It was my warning. You seriously need to grow the f**k up. IT HAPPENED. Get over yourself and face the facts. It didn't work. We came into each others lives for a reason. You told me to never flee from glee. Remember from the magic hat bottle you opened FOR ME? Yeah, maybe you should take that advice. Eff you for not wanting to be civil after something great happened. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean everything has to go to sh*t. I'm not immature or crazy for thinking that. I'm a human being that's been feeling feelings since '85 and I know how to use them. Unlike you. Try broadening your emotional spectrum. It might help you in the future.

There's a reason why until now you've always been the one to get dumped. Well you may have dumped me, but I really had the upper hand when you came crawling back because you were sick to your stomach and missed the way I smell. And I rejected your offer for friendship that really pissed you off. And the fact that I kept it together. Didn't shed a tear. Because I knew I was being rational and I did the right thing. All while you were crying and vomiting. For the first time in my life I don't feel bad for being mean. Because you were mean to me too.

June 11, 2013

I actually take some of that back. I hate name calling and being mean. What the dickens

June 11, 2013

Dear TE,

I have a confession to make. I lied. A lot. I mean, I told you honesty was a big part of what I was looking for, and I would always be honest with you. I failed. Miserably. Maybe my repeated dishonesty in our relationship helped speed it towards its decline.

Remember all those 100 (seemingly) times you texted me asking "Did I look fat to you last night?" or "Do I seem to have put on weight since you last saw me?"

When I responded to all those texts, I lied. Flat out lied. I know, I'm a jerk. I should have told you the truth. Yes, you did look fat last night, and yes, you do seem to have put on some weight. Lay off the pizza and start exercising your fat ass.

June 11, 2013

I miss you. I hate that I've driven you so far away, and I hate that I can't seem to stop myself from doing it over and over again. This time you've disappeared from me. I'm angry, I'm hurt... but I also know that it was the right thing to do.

I need to control myself this time. I need to stop torturing myself and you.

June 12, 2013

Dear ******,

I dont think I will ever understand what happened between us, and only you hold the answers. We were great together, and we never fought for the most part. The almost 7 months we shared were magical and its hard to move on. You never had a relationship, and prior to me it was "f*** relationships" according to all your friends. I shouldve kbown bettter than to fall in love with someone like you. I remember the first night we said "i love you". I had been harboring those words within for quite sometime. You called me and cried to me about your friend who died and i sat there listening to you, and told you how much i cared. Then we said it. Everytime we saw he each other you could see the love but when we were apart you chose not to communicate. We held eachother all night and you told me youd never hurt me. I foolishly believed you. Any time you needed me I was there, and what we had was real. I know you didnt like confrontation, and neither did i. I guess i got on you too much about communication and thats what led to our breakup.Did you really love me? Do you really know what love is? The words you said hurt me and your reasonings made no sense. You became someone else. Why you chose to cut me off makes no sense to me. You ruined what we had, and i relentlessly tried to contact you. Why. A few weeks later you told me "i miss you im sorry" " i really dont deserve you" then you said you cut me off because you tried to force yourself to get over me. I never heard from you again. Im ashamed at how much ive contacted you without any response. I just still dont understand. Its nearing 3 months afyer the break up and almost 2 months youve ignored me. I made you promise me you would never hurt me. You lied. A few weeks ago you saw me, and just went home. I am glad i did not see you. Is that how you deal with problems? You run away? The bear you gave me on valentines day is burried in my closet, and you haunt me. I dont think i can ever trust again. This has been so hard for me. I wonder how you feel? Why do i care? I believe real love never dies, but im unsure if you even know what real love is. I still hope you all the best, and i hope one day you can enlighten me. Goodbye

love,

*****

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