Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[maturityassets]

Your a better man than I am, i was the jealous type if you could call it that, more insecure I geuss than anything else, I had the misfortune of knowing what she was like before I came along and I was the kind who sends sex texts to random guys, jury's still out on wether or not she doing it behind my back, the stupid bitch gave me her old phone without deleting her saved messages >.> she was such a bitch about it too when I confronted her about it, usually when girls are like that it means there hiding something.

 

Surprisingly she wasn't the jealous type.... So she said, didn't come across that way at times though, your ex sounds a little over the top though but you were mature and accepted it, I bet we both accepted so much ****ed up **** to be with them yet they expected us to be perfect 24/7, there was a 5 year age difference between us and man you could really tell expect it felt like I acted older than I am and she acted younger than she is, I e never had a problem within commitment and never felt like I was missing out on anything, I was jut so happy with everything me and her had, just a shame she had to go and be all messed up in the head, it's not the first time she's messed me around but it is the last time, I shouldn't of ever let there be a for time, probably the reason she takes me for granted, if she ever came back I wouldn't give her the opportunity to ever do it again, if your ex came back, would you take her back?.

Would I take my ex back? Would have to be 2 or 3 years down the road if anything. I would have to see she has matured and was really attracted to me. I don't believe taking anyone back in less than a year is ideal. Are they really attracted to you again or do they just miss the good times and wish to re-live them? We would have to start from day one all over again. Meaning slow intamacy

[Flutterbyme]

Okay so it's been 9 days! It's been a rollercoaster. I was heartbroken and upset because you ended it. I blamed me for everything I tried to find fault in me from everything to my habits to my size to the way I acted to well basically everything.

 

But these last few days I've had a reality check. You haven't contacted me in 9 days. 2 years for what- nothing! My time wasted on you , the one that doesn't care.

 

The last few days I've started to pity you. You want to have your single freedom. You want to spend all your weeks wages keeping the pub in business and getting into a complete drunk state and yes my friends have seen you out. You want to pull all the girls you can and take them home for your own pleasure. Go ahead . Because at the end of the day it was your decision and choice . I can't keep blaming me. I did all I could for you to get frustrated at me for nothing. Be verbally aggressive when drunk and talk to me like a piece of .....! It wasn't on! I deserve a hell of a lot better and I did for a while. I took to much stuff from you because I was too nice - a doormat.

 

So you get influenced by your cousin go ahead ! Because your the one that will end up poor, full of sexual disease or a dad to a kid you don't want or homeless with liver disease. Okay a bit deep but true.

 

I deserve a hell of a lot better than that, and really deep down I knew it I should have walked away. I would have been stronger . I deserve someone that treats me right and I do.

 

I'm talking to a lovely guy. Okay it's quite soon but shows exactly how much you mean to me - nothing and I wasn't obviously happy for a while.

 

You pushed it to far. One day you will realise maybe. When things in your new crazy life don't go to plan. But by then the ship would have sailed into bigger and better things

[CelticGibson]

In your new found realisation please think of what you are doing with the new guy. His feelings matter in all of this. Why should his heart be trampled on because you cannot take the time to process the loss of this relationship. You are in the anger stage of the break up and it's only been 9 days. You clearly are not over this by a long shot and are unlikely to be for quite a while.

[SimonSerenade]

I don't hate you heather, I'm incredibly hurt and lost and just don't know what to do anymore, you left me feeling worthless and heart broken, I didn't understand how someone who claimed to love me and could never be without me all of a sudden can so easily finish me out of nowhere and tell me your not in love with me and you don't find me attractive anymore, how can you ever recover from that? How can you ever feel safe with anyone again, you have no idea what you've done to my head, don't you think of anything before you open your mouth and say these things?, I don't know how you can be so cruel and still all I want is for you to come running back into my arms, I'm an idiot.

[mfleck91]

How can you so easily put our 4 years of love behind you? Am I that easy to forget and replace? I was faithful and committed to the very end. What happened to you? You used to be so sweet and innocent, its like I dont know you anymore. There is no future where we are together and that tears me apart. I havent seen you or had a conversation with you in nearly 3 months, do you know how hard that is?! Youve ignored every message Ive sent you as if I'm the one who did something wrong......I didnt, it was you who lied and left me for another guy. I never thought I could love and hate someone at the same time but I do know. I love you for who you used to be but hate you for what youve become and what youve done to me. I hope one day you look back and regret the decision you made, because there arent many guys like me.

[1908]

You just had to get the last word in didn't you? Typical.

[SimonSerenade]

I am so tempted to ring you tonight, ask you for all the answers you never gave, ask for the ending I deserve, ask why you would leave me with no comfort of meaningful words of what I meant to you, ask you anything at all, I miss you and I'm finding it so hard to break out of that routine of talking to you, how is it you can move on so easily without a thought or a care?, did I mean nothing to you, was there really no desperation or desire on your end to fight?, you knew what I was going through and you still put this on my shoulders, how could you be so selfish?, I know I could never trust you again or feel the same again after this, how would I ever feel secure with you again, if you said I love you again I wouldn't believe it, you have to show it and you've never been capable of that, the easiest most beautiful emotion In the world and you couldn't ever show it and still I want you back, even after all of this but I geuss that is love, nothing in the world can seperate my emotions from you, nothing in the world would remove me from your side, so long as I had you I would of stood tall and conquered any problem, I made a promise to leave you alone and let you live your life and try to be happy for you, as hard as that is I'm a man of my word, I just wish you had the integrity to be a woman of yours, you lied to me and painted yourself as a woman of honour and respect, there's no honour in the lies you told and you don't treat me with the respect I deserve, you should be ashamed of yourself but still, no apologies from you, I'm not going to hold my breath on ever getting one for what you've put me through and what your still putting me through now, the only person that matters to you is yourself.

[SimonSerenade]

Aren't you somethin' to admire, cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror

And I can't help but notice, you reflect in this heart of mine

If you ever feel alone and the glare makes me hard to find

Just know that I'm always parallell on the other side

[Stevan]

I admit I screwed up and let my emotions take over! (cus this is the first and only LOVE of my life )!!

 

GOD KNOWS, There was never any evil intentions to manipulate you or trying to toy with your heart! Wallah wallah wallah!!!!

 

Just Wanted to send you the goodbye message and wish you, nothing else! I wasn't able to send any kind of instant message through skype, I tried over and over but no use, so I tried tweetlonger but it was too long then I randomly searched forums! there was nothing nothing planned, I swear it. and I regret this so much now cus It just caused more pain to both of us!

 

And NO this is not an ego thing or me just feeling lonely or playing around with others' hearts!!! I'm not that person, this is the truth, and only GOD knows this! YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN IN MY MIND. CONSTANTLY. 24/7. and for almost 4 years!!!! I never deceived you or cheated on you. and since you came into my life, there was nobody else! You, only you! STILL ONLY YOU. I shouldn't be saying this but these perceptions are wrong. all these stories about hook ups, dating, looking for pleasures and men to entertain me are just so so wrong thoughts. : ( ( ( ( and that "back to ex" story are nothing but myth. It was something arranged by my mother and you can imaging the rest!

 

We are not responsible for our circumstances. But, we both responsible for our actions and the way we communicated - there was never confrontation, There were fear, doubt, hesitation, and probably other reasons as well.

 

Again, I fell guilty for starting this, But my intentions were pure and sincere, as i thought am doing the right thing! and the idea to vent my feelings here was tempting...I accept that it was wrong! I know, I should have known better, and should have acted more mature, but a moment of weakness lead to another and here I'm.

 

I'm so so so so so sorry.

Edited May 15, 2013 by Stevan

[SimonSerenade]

Man I hate google, I thought I couldn't possibly feel more terrible until out of curiosity I put tennant at the end of your name because of your crazy obsession with dr who and now that I've found out you've been lying to me about your past all this time, I want to know why but damn I'm not talking to you and all this pain just has to sit on my chest like a rusty anchor, you said I was your first love and first for everything, I know now I wasn't, on top of that you hid your relationship with a girl you claimed to hate so much, why would you lie to me about all of that?, do you know how painful that is, knowing you loved someone and was so open about it, saying you loved him but couldn't have him and me..... I get nothing, I don't know what else you lied about, part of me doesn't want to know but part of me wants you to tell me the truth so I can away respect you again, you've really done a number on my heart, how could you treat me like crap and desert me like that, all the while actually knowing what it feels like, why don't you feel for me how you felt for him back then, what's wrong with me?, why wasn't I enough for you?, you knew how my last ex treated me and right now, your no better than the cold stoic bitch that she was.

[delayedreaction]

It's been three days of NC on both parts. I think this is the longest we have ever gone with neither of us contacting each other. This time it certainly feels more absolute and that is hurting me the most. Every time I think about contacting you, I think about how you haven't tried yourself and that stops me. So as much as it sucks and hurts, it helps.

 

I don't want it to be over but I do want it to be over. I can't imagine us being together again and things being okay. I try to picture myself a month from now, six months from now, years later and how I'll feel good about myself again. Possibly be with someone else, something healthier and picturing myself in the future makes me not want to talk to you because I'm excited about what life will be like without this pain, the uncertainty all the time. Without all the stress and unhappiness. I yearn to feel calm again. To not constantly have my stomach in knots and worrying about what could happen when I'm not around.

 

I've been so back and forth the past few days. One hour I want you like nothing else, the next I've convinced myself that the pain is temporary and it's all for the best.

 

Today was pretty hard anxiety wise because even though I have no hard evidence, so many things point to you spending most of the day and night with this girl you were talking to a few days before we broke up. I can't help myself from worrying that you actually found someone else that makes you happier. That right now I'm not a thought in your mind or worse that she makes you feel like I was a huge mistake. I wanted to contact you today the most out of the other days because of me feeling like this. I don't know what I would have said that wouldn't have made this situation worse but when I have the need to contact you I'm at a very weak place and I don't think clearly.

 

I also know that if I did contact you and if you did reply you'd say all the things you've said before. "I'm not moving on" "I'm not being with anyone" "It's not like that" "I'm lonely" I'm also afraid that I'll hear something I haven't heard before like "Yeah I am and she's awesome" So many things stop me from contacting you and in the end I guess it's all for the good.

 

I'm running out of things to say to you. I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of giving so much and getting nothing back. I'm tired of feeling guilty for getting mad that I wasn't getting what I deserved. I'm just tired and I wish I could erase you from my mind because you don't deserve to have someone hurt this much over you.

[Stevan]

When i lost you, i lost the the whole world. It doesn't matter if i find love again, because I LOST YOU. I can't believe you are judging me because of my past ( before I knew you ) but when people told bad stories about You, I didn't believe any!!!! I was waiting to her from you, Yes till date. I wanted you told me these stories i didn't want to put pressure on you, i respected your privacy and was afraid you might be hurt if i ask YOU that story by our mutual !!!!!!!!!

 

NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR...

[Stevan]

Believing others, but you don't want to hear from me???!!!

 

How fair is that. I'm beyond hurt!

[Stevan]

I can't stand the thought of hurting you - never ever. gimme chance to explain..This isn't the truth!!!!!!!! I swear it...

[Stevan]

Someone has lied to you. atleast gimme names if you don't wanna contact me.

[SimonSerenade]

Maybe finding out all I did tonight can give me some closure now, I think the thought of you still wanting me discreetly keeps me holding on to the thought that you will come back, I need to accept that's not going to happen and take your silence as a sure fire sign that it's over for good and there's just nothing that I can do to prevent that? At least I know the truth now, I just wish you would of softened the blow and told me yourself, finding out this way is the worst possible way, I was nothing to you and I have to live with that, you never took my feelings seriously, you were never devoted to us, it was all one sided all this time, that's a crushing feeling, I still love you but right now I really should hate your guts.

[Stevan]

You meant the world to me, and you still mean everything. I was Cuffed, there were plenty of things about my family that i hid, because i was scared of the way you would view me, i was terrified that this or that might shake your love and compassion, I was afraid of being judged esp by YOU! you were/are the fragrant of my life - and you silly had/have doubts!

[Stevan]

I want you and i have always wanted to be with you, but I know that you won't for obvious reasons?

[SimonSerenade]

i love you darling, i cant hate you, i should but i can't, i just wish you felt comfortable enough with me to tell me the truth,we went through a lot, i thought we could of got through it all, ive never been more sorry to be wrong in my life, im sorry iwas insecure, after all i saw and all you hid from me, i just couldn't help it, i geuss once you give me the money back for that ipad mini it will all be over and done with, believe it or not, i don't want the money just so i never have to think about you being gone for good, i miss you, i wish we could spend one last night together, im sorry there wasn't many, i really am regretting it right now.

[Stevan]

I thought you knew me better than this. : ( You are so beautiful inside, but please don't let those negative thoughts take over, don't let them determine your worth!!

 

I my self need to do a lot of work. i have to be better!

[SimonSerenade]

I thought you knew me better than this. : ( You are so beautiful inside, but please don't let those negative thoughts take over, don't let them determine your worth!!

 

I my self need to do a lot of work. i have to be better!

 

Can't help but notice were both going through similar stuff at the moment, feel free to email me if you ever want a friend to talk things over with, nobody should have to go these things alone, my email is [email protected]

[Stevan]

Thank you.

[avelonia2013]

You meant the world to me, and you still mean everything. I was Cuffed, there were plenty of things about my family that i hid, because i was scared of the way you would view me, i was terrified that this or that might shake your love and compassion, I was afraid of being judged esp by YOU! you were/are the fragrant of my life - and you silly had/have doubts!

 

This is so sad. I'm sorry you are going through this right now. I would never want someone I love to ever feel that way. If you feel terrified to talk to the person you love and who loves you too then who can you talk to? Don't ever let fear stop you from being who you are with someone. If they love you I'm sure there is nothing they want more than to calm those fears and show you how silly you're being. It's worth the risk.

[SimonSerenade]

I love you darling, I miss you with all my heart, I wish I was going to bed with you right now, I'd give anything to see that beautiful face next to me again, I wish things weren't so tainted right now, I still remember the first time I saw you, I thought an angel had fallen from heaven, you were so pure and innocent, just gazing into your eyes gave you my trust right from the start, never did I ever in my wildest dreams think I'd of wound up with you, maybe I'm at fault for painting such a pure and beautiful picture of you in my heart, hearing your stories of the past tore me up inside, thinking of guys using you and throwing you away, I wanted to be the one man who treated you right and stood ahead of all the rest in your eyes, I wanted to be your hero, I was never jealous of your past, I was devastated by it and the thought of you being hurt like that, I can understand why you'd lie and tell me i was your first for everything, I know you felt the truth was killing me inside and wanted to protect my feelings, I geuss I just couldn't bare that image of my beautiful angel being tarnished like that, just seeing you with another guy brought back those thoughts and everything I saw from your past in my head, it broke my heart and killed me inside and eventually it led to you leaving me, I geuss I needed a huge talk abot it and that talk never came from your side, so many situations after that stemmed from that one situation that was never really resolved because of lack of effort on your side, I wish I had been important enough for you to have done that for me or at less spare me from painful situations from time to time, I needed to see your love an commitment from you, I never saw it, just heard the words, I wish I had been your first for everything, I wish I had meant everything to you, knowing I meant nothing at all after all this time is a hard pill to swallow, had I known there was a fallen life ahead of me, I still wouldn't of passed up the chance to be with you, every minute, every second of being yours was worth it, time stands still with you, every moment was captured deep in my heart.

[SimonSerenade]

I wish you missed me like I missed you right now, I hate feeling this desperate for you, I just want you here with me now, it's the only time I ever feel alright.