Post here instead of contacting your ex!

May 7, 2013

Nothing seems to stop me from being reminded of you, R.

I took a walk in the city for a break from this computer. Next thing I know I accidentally go down the block where the "Paris" movie theater is located. Remember that? We went to see that random indie movie, Robot and Frank, just to show you how different I am from the rest. We had an amazing night that night, we walked to my campus from there in Lincoln center and then while buying something from a street vendor he called you my fiance. What a dream that would have been, you and me engaged.

To make things worse my good friend, gets into contact with his first love after 10 months of no contact. He did his best to avoid his feelings, but he called and he said they were the same as they use to be. Is this going to happen to us? Are you going to call me a year from now? Are you going to realize that I was hurt. That I called your friend out of desperation. I didn't cheat or anything close to that type of severity. I didn't try to get revenge. I just couldn't believe you would toy with my heart, I had to hear it from someone else.

We just always take down each others armor every time we talk. You were mad at me initially when we last talked, but then we apologized. At first you said I wasn't the same great kid I use to be. But you ended the conversation by saying you don't think of me differently, that I'm still that great guy you fell in love with. That any girl who gets with me is lucky. That you realized you were a selfish B**** as a result of this break up. You say that sliver of hope that we would get back together is gone now. But how will you feel a year from now? When you're reminded everyday you go to class that I'm the one who pushed you back going to college. When you want to go to long island and remember the routes and drives we took. Jeez I'm still in wish fulfillment at this point. Its going to take a while to move on I see. I don't know, sometimes we're not done. We did things because we were hurt and jealous and weren't sure what we wanted. I don't know. Maybe we will cross paths again. Maybe your mind will change. Maybe your best friend who is mad at you for breaking up with me will remind you of the guy you left. Who knows. I will be on these forums for quite a while I suppose. All the best

Edited May 7, 2013 by maturityassets
Prematurely submitted

May 7, 2013

And you proved to be a real human being and a real hero....

May 7, 2013

I love you, I know now that I have to move on, thank you for at least telling me you love me one last time, it's going to be so hard, you meant so much to me, you were my best friend, the love of my life, absolutely everything I always wanted, you were perfect for me, I'd struggle to ever find someone so well suited to me again, the thought of you with someone else right now is probably going to hold me back, it's going to break me up and kill me inside, I truly hope you've made the right decision and your happy with it and if you do meet someone you like, I just hope he treats you well and loves you like I love you, don't ever give yourself away and sell yourself short.

I'll never forget the feeling of being intimate with you and just how amazing it felt knowing you were all mine, I won't be with anyone, I know my future was meant to be with you and even though I know I'm going to be so tempted to call you up in tears, I won't, I made a promise to accept this and make things easier for you and if nothing else, I'm a man of my word.

I'll always love you and I'll always miss you, life without you will never be the same again, even now I can't imagine it, waking up knowing I'll never kiss your beautiful face again is so much to bare, I hope deep down you feel the same, even if I may never hear it.

May 7, 2013

You are a slut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How do you compare me calling your best friend for help to you blowing and sleeping over the house of the guy who ****ing convinced you to be single!!!!!!!!!! You rubbed it in my face. I shouldn't have ever told you that you are amazing at giving head! Freaking your ego is off the charts now. Every time we talk you have to mention that I told you are really good at it. We get it, you can shove a guy's friend down your mouth!

Also why do you have to tease me in such a way of telling me how my package is still bigger than any other guys!? I get it, my package is a thick wad that you are impressed by! You know that package just comes with the witty, intelligent, funny, sarcastic, good looking, empathetic guy that I am! I made it easy for you to get gifts for me because I didn't want you spend money besides the BJ's I got. I deserve so much better! You were nothing at one point. You were going to work at the doctor's office where you currently work at for the rest of your life. You were content with that. You were lazy to get your fricking Permit at 19 years old! You still don't know what you have to do for college even after I got you to go back! How lazy are you!? You know before you dropped out the first time you stop showing up to one of your classes and got a freaking F!!!!!!!!!! What you were to busy trying to get into a relationship with another guy before you met me? You can never meet another like me with the crowd you hang out with. I'm a freaking intellectual, I have a future! I could be a journalist, a professor, a wall street banker, an economist, or I could be a politician with the degrees I'm getting!

And I'm going to let you know E! she might be younger but she has the same values and is freaking mature for her age. She is patiently waiting till the day we can label ourselves because of your nonsense. She is going to same university as me and you know what 2 years isn't a big gap at all!!!!! And you know what, she doesn't hook up with guys either! She freaking is waiting for the right guy. I did the same for you, but at least I know this one isn't just waiting for whatever serious relationship came first to have some intercourse for the first time, like you did!

And you know what! I still love you even after all of that! That's true love, looking passed the flaws

Edited May 7, 2013 by maturityassets
additon

May 8, 2013

I can't wait to be in a relationship with E! She is so head over heels for me. She says she thinks of me 99% of the day. I wish I could do the same. The only thing blocking me is you. Your immaturity, your fear of commitment, your fear of work. So lazy. That is the word that describes you LAZY! You think losing weight is going to solve your problems? I was fine the way you were. You were the one always self conscience who hated the fact that I was skinny and built,I who grew a sexy 5 o'clock shadow where you use to rub it for hours, and had thick black hair you loved to rub. I accepted you because of your nice smile and beautiful eyes. So you weren't an hourglass? who gives an ef! You weren't fat either. You still have guys chasing you, but you were never good enough for yourself. I tried to save you. I tried to be there everytime you were depressed about your hip problems. I said "its ok babe, it must be hard to live with that everyday, but it doesn't matter. I'm here to help you!" Instead you said, well I'm going to be young before my next hip surgery and sleep with so many guys! Who the hell travels to the guy for the hook ups? You travel to jersey and now you start telling me how you are travelling on the LIRR places? Seriously are you that desperate for attention you need to travel for the guys? I can't believe I tried to be that perfect guy for you. That guy who played with your younger brother, who respected your sister, who never said a bad word about anybody close to you. You on the other hand had a problem with my friends because they caused me to be late ONCE! You hated to hear stories of other girls flirting with me! I blew off so many and mentioned you to them to let them know that hey I'm not freaking available! I don't want your number i told them! I have a girl who I would trade the world for. Remember when you were scared you had to move soon. You asked me if I would at least try long distance or wait for you to move back and find an apartment? We got into a car accident that night because we were so terrified you were going to move. It was a fender bender that you still mention all the time. I didn't put you in harms way, a taxi short stopped us at a light and I didn't push hard enough on the brakes! I ended up paying for that. I also paid for the cell phone ticket you got me when you called within 5 min of me being there to pick you up. You got so offended when your sister suggested you should pay a part of it! Your mom and your best friend even believe I'm too good for you. The people who should be on your side already know you made a mistake. You won't find better!

May 8, 2013

I still miss you, I don't know how I'm going to get through this, after everything you've said and done i should hate you and be so angry at you but I just can't bring myself to feel that way, it just genuinely seems like you don't know what you need in your life, no matter what had happened in the past I could never bring myself to hate you, after thinking long and hard, I realise I took things too far and I know I made you feel terrible because of that, I let my insecurities get in the way of what we had rather than just enjoying what we had, looking back on myself I feel ashamed, I acted out when there was no reason to and you didn't deserve it, I'd never think you would cheat so I don't know why I acted like I did, I can see how someone could feel trapped because of that, what a realisation that is, how I acted really is inexcusable, I think being so ill for so long stripped me of my manhood and that made me feel threatened by other men and when I do a comparison I feel I don't measure up at all.

Despite all of that, you had your faults too and at times dealing with them faults tore me apart, I felt so insecure never knowing how long I had left to be by your side and never knowing what I meant to you as one minute it was the world and the next it was nothing at all, I just wanted my feelings to be considered, I don't know how you didn't see that, all anyone really wants is to be needed and cherished by the one you love, despite everything I always stood by you and never budged an inch, I won't lie, knowing you've never done the same rips my heart up inside, I just know I wanted to spend the rest of my life loving you and taking care of you, I guess it was the right thing to do on your side if you weren't strong enough to weather a few storms in the long term.

I still think you've made a big mistake and our life together could of been truly amazing, you only get one life and when you meet someone and get that feeling that your just so right for one another, no way should that be taken for granted, you fight every second to keep that dream alive, you know I'm here if you change your mind, no matter what I'm always by you side.

May 8, 2013

I need to talk to you. I don't know what happened. I don't know why you were upset that I talked to our friend. All I asked was if what you told me about you sleeping over that guys house, the guy who homewrecked our relationship, was true. Yeah she is your best friend, but she was the one who hooked us up R! She convinced me to talk to you. She hacked your FB one day and commented on my wall, and that started it all. I don't understand why it was wrong for me to talk about your attitude with me that day. You acted jealous and selfish. I came to pick up the last of my things, I didn't expect to stay long, but you told me to sit next to you on the stoop. And we stood there for 2 hours when I didn't expect more than 5 min. You asked if I was dating, and I couldn't lie to you. Yes I started because I wanted to move on, I knew I would never get over you. And you started to get jealous and you mentioned the hook ups you started to get into. How you slept over that guys house and lied to your mom to do so, when you weren't allowed to sleep over mine. Every time we fell asleep in my bed I had to wake us up at 2 am to bring you home. You made me jealous. You wanted to see if we could spark again and you gave me a 100 compliments that night. So how could you be so mad at me? This wasn't my fault. You broke my heart. This sick feeling has come back now. I tried my best to move on, but you haunt me. I want to be happy with E now but you R, You broke my spirit. I sleep and I see you. Why have you done this to me? I shouldn't have stood that night, it was too soon to see if you missed me. We might have had a better future if you just would have let me go home that night. I want you back. And I know I can't have you. Just come back and heal this broken heart, just lie in my bed, just kiss me on the neck, just hold my hand while I drive around. Why make me hate you? Why can't you just accept my love? Appreciate all I did for you!? How do you quit out love when we were just getting serious. You use to brag to all your friends how we were getting an apartment. You said "I love you" first even though I was hesitant. Won't you realize my importance to you? You wouldn't be who you are now if it wasn't for my influence. Please text first one day, say how you regret everything. That it was your fault. That you realize now I was hurt and deserved more. I just want a second shot is all

May 8, 2013

I use to get a "Morning =)" text from you every day. It would bring such a smile to my face. Knowing I had you who thought about me every time you got up. We did that till the better end. So where did all that commitment go?

Made the mistake of also checking your facebook. You are putting your number the wall when guys talk to you! Do you need attention that much?! I can't believe what you are doing to yourself. I can't help but feel I have some responsibility toward making you this way. Stop toying with other guys! Don't you see that guy you 'poked" on faceboook and commented on your wall for your number is madly in love with you. He has posted 5 statuses of how this isn't a game he wants to play, that he is going to fight but he knows the end result. You are being so selfish! Stop manipulating them. Just stop! I was willing to take that burden from the rest of having to deal with your selfishness. I can't even save others from you!

Edited May 8, 2013 by maturityassets
adding

May 8, 2013

I thought the break up was on decent terms. You couldn't give me a reason why. I was confused and hurt by this. You told me recently that you love me and are lucky to have me. Why then, leave with no reason?

A month before the break up we had a talk about why you were being distant. I said I can't have a distant girlfriend forever and you begged, cried and pleaded with me not to break up with you. I was the most important thing in your life. You couldn't imagine being without me. You swore it had nothing to do with me, but your depression and it will pass, you promised.

When you called me crying 2 months after the break up, I felt empowered at first. I was happy to know I was doing better with the break up than you. You said you wanted to get together sometime soon, and you'd love to chat. That was the last I heard of you.

I resent the fact that I'm good enough as a shoulder to cry on when you're having a hard time, yet I'm not good enough to be your man. What a great situation for me, eh? When I think of it, it's kind of a microcosim of how our relationship was. I was the one putting in most of the effort, giving all the time. You put in minimal effort and took way more than you gave into the relationship.

We agreed we can be friends from a distance, since we have a lot of mutual friends and we didn't want things to be weird when we most certainly would bump into each other. Now the idea of sharing small talk with you makes me feel furious. You don't deserve to know how I'm doing, or have me pretend to not be angry with you. I will not show my anger because I don't want to feed your ego, but trust me when I say I have nothing nice to say to you.

I treated you like a queen, and the fact that you think you are better than me makes me feel like crying and laughing at the same time. You are not the person you project to be; a strong, independent go-getter. You are in fact the opposite of all of these things. You project yourself as the person you WANT to be, but you are not that person.

Your roommate/best friend has seen me out socializing almost every week. I'm sure she's mentioned it to you. She has nice chats with me about how she thinks you're making a huge mistake with breaking it off. I can tell by the tone of her voice and the look in her face that she says it with the most sincerity. It means a lot coming from her since she was there, living with us, for the entirety of our relationship and saw how well I treated you. It is different when it comes from someone that doesn't have to say these things but says them because she truly believes it.

You are not better than me. I will not be here when you most surely will realize you've made a mistake.

I want to say I love you, but I wont. I'll just say "good luck".

May 8, 2013

I was your shoulder to cry on

I was your confidant

I paid your rent for 3 years

I helped you have a better relationship with your parents

I took you places you've never been

I became your family

I always paid for everything on our dates

I drove you 8 hours to look a car to buy and drove you 8 hours back

I trusted you!

I supported you when no one else did

I was the only one who attended your seminar

I changed for you

I took time off school to spend more time with you

I massaged your feet after work

I cooked for you

I helped you experience life outside home

I helped you get into a great university

I cultured you

I helped you lose weight by encouraging you to work out

I took up cycling so we could do it together

I moved away so you could miss me and have space

I budgeted for you

I bought you whatever you wanted/needed

I looked attractive for you

I kept my hair long for you

I put up with your f***ed up family for you

I became humble for you

I bought you flowers just because

I spent time with you even though I could have done anything else

I put up with your BO

I taught you how to drive

I work to have a safe/secure future for us

I turned down other girls for you

I loved you. I was loyal. It wasn't enough. ..and you left me..

May 8, 2013

I love you, I hope your having a good day at work, I know you'll be loving the news of fergy retiring, I just wish I was there to enjoy it with you, I really will miss you, not just for the love we shared but for the great friendship we made in all of this, you were my best friend, you were truly my soul mate, I'll always cherish that thought of us together and all we had made for our future, I hope you find what your looking for and I hope it's better than the life you decided to throw away, part of me hopes you'll come to your senses and we'll live happily ever after but the other part of me knows not to live in hope and just wish you the best, I wish I could of been that for you and in sorry I wasn't, you'll always be the biggest and best part of me, I hope you never forget the impact you had on my life, I hope I made you happy for the time we were together at least, I just hope I never have to hear about you being happy with somebody else.

May 8, 2013

Hi Rosas,

You're coming off as a little harsh. I'm 27 if that matters to you. I understand that people change, but when someone gives you the security of saying that they will never leave you when you're in a loving relationship, you tend to believe it. If you love them you will fight to keep them, fight to change for them, fight to better yourself for them.

I get that change is a part of life but people can consciously learn to change with a partner than change against them. She wanted to marry me so much and I needed time to think about it. It took years for me to come around. Years for me to put all the chips on the table and say "I'm all in". She dumped me after I did all these things for her. She dumped me after I decided I wanted spend the rest of my life with this person. That's F***ed up, and I'm hurt beyond words.

Obviously you can't see that from some words posted on the internet. Be a little compassionate.

May 8, 2013

@ Rosas, That's a bit harsh! Haven't you ever had anyone rip your heart in two and leave you? There's no feeling like it, and it makes you think very abstractly.

OP, it's awful, and I understand EXACTLY what you feel. You feel sick, depressed, ripped apart, anxious, furious etc.

Unfortunately, once a relationship is ended, everything your ex said is now void. It's better to try to deal with these feelings, do a bit of a hibernation period and then try to come out the other side.

May 8, 2013

I wish I could call you. You use to let me know everything was ok in life, no matter how hard it got. I cry right now because I know I can't call or talk to you. It hurt so much when you said we could never be together again. The dreams of marriage and living together you use to have, you use to call me every morning when they happened. You use to say you couldn't imagine breaking up with me, that if we ended it had to be on my terms. But its such the opposite now. I gave you so much! I never asked you to do anything more than keep your promises, and I still tolerated it even after you didn't. I don't understand why I'm stuck crying here while you never think of me anymore. Who was I to you? Now you seem to be going back to every guy from your past. I was so different from them. I was so freaking mature and have a future. While the rest just seem so bland in life.

It must of really bothered you that I was always right in our arguments and disputes. That even now, your friends think you are the wrong one to leave me. That I continue to be correct in my assessments and you even admitted yourself of how selfish and a B**** you can be. Even your mom hopes that we find our way back together. You say I deserve someone more compatible to my taste, but I don't care about that! I just want someone who has a nice smile and makes me feel that the world outside us doesn't really matter. You taught me that things don't always have to be so logical, that you could just go with the flow. But at the same time I balanced that with some initiative. We balanced each other out, it was a relationship between people of two totally different mentalities but what we had was so freaking pure.I'm in agony, I long just to drive to your job and pick you up so we can then just blast your ipod in my car and dance stupidly to whatever music you enjoyed.

Jeez I can't wait till tomorrow when I'm done with Finals. I'll actually get some sleep and realize I don't need you constantly like I do now. Till then BYE!

May 9, 2013

I love you, I'll never get used to not seeing my phone light up late at night and hearing your precious voice, that was the highlight of my day, I hope you know that I miss you and this is killing me inside, I really hope this was all worth it to you, I hope that you loved me, I think you didn't because you left me but I think you did because of how special thing were between us, goodnight darling, I wish I was lying there with you again.

May 9, 2013

You made me have the experience of being a junkie the first time in my life. You have made me so anxious that I can't even study for finals. I was forced to take a couple benzodiazepines this week to focus on my work. Let me let you know R, that the craving to have more came in. I started to play music after a nap and was really scathing for another dose. Luckily I have calmed down now, after taking the subway home and read a chapter of a book. I don't really need you. I feel at peace at the moment. I hope you had a decent wednesday, I'll be fine

May 9, 2013

I don't know how you got so lost from me, things were going so well since we put everything behind us then one thing comes up and out of nowhere I find myself without you for the last time, I know your going to have an easier time of it than I am, you were strong enough to make this decision after all, I just don't understand how you could put this break up together in your head so quickly, I guess I never did get a real explanation, heck I meant so little to you that you were too tired to even give me a proper goodbye, I always hated how there was no sense of urgency with you, it lead me feeling so disconnected from you, I truly believe had you put emotion and effort in I wouldn't of felt so insecure all this time, I just didn't mean that much to you I geuss, maybe I was just something to do to kill time, I couldn't of meant all that much to you for you to leave me so easily and mess me around so much, I only ever wanted to mean the world to you and feel like you meant it, it's becoming harder and harder every day to believe all those meaningful things you said, I just hope the important things weren't lies at least, I've looked passed so much in our time together, now I'm starting to feel like an idiot for ever believing a word you said, I think the trust I had for you is at rock bottom and now I don't know what was real and what wasn't in our relationship, time stood still with you, I was so hopelessly head over heels never seeing the red flags waving all around me, always overlooking the obvious signs that you never cared or made me a priority in your life, it was always what was best for you, I deserved so much better than that especially since I always put you first, there was never a time when you wasn't on my mind, I don't think I was ever on yours, you've made me a stranger to you now, wouldn't be surprised if you've moved on already, wouldn't even be surprised if that's why you left me in the first place, it always comes from the people you never expect it from, I don't think I'll trust another woman for as long as I live, once this is over, I never want to feel this lonely, rejected and vulnerable ever again, I might not mean anything to anybody but at the very least I can protect my own feelings.

May 9, 2013

I think of the person who you pretended to be every day. But in reality, you are a very sick and disturbed person. That's why I never tried to get you back after I left you for the last time. That's why I never called you for a date again after I left you for the last time. That's why I don't cry over you any more. It has been over a year since I have cried over you.

I know you didn't ask to be born a sociopath. I get it. You didn't ask to be born without a conscience. It's not your fault. But you don't understand right from wrong, and that scares me. You don't care about the fact that you simply cannot distinguish right from wrong and you think that's everyone else's problem, not yours.

I'm sorry you are so broken. I'm sorry you are so sick and demented. I'm sorry that you have no remorse for the hell you put people through. But those are your problems, not mine.

May 9, 2013

I love you, I'll never get used to not seeing my phone light up late at night and hearing your precious voice, that was the highlight of my day, I hope you know that I miss you and this is killing me inside, I really hope this was all worth it to you, I hope that you loved me, I think you didn't because you left me but I think you did because of how special thing were between us, goodnight darling, I wish I was lying there with you again.

I got another phone. It really helped. A different looking phone reminded me less of him and all the messages he left on it. Seriously, it did help. Changing your phone number to a non-listed number is good, so you won't be waiting and hoping that person will call. The person won't be able to because the number was changed.

May 9, 2013

R Last time I stood all night at the library for finals was when we were together. You were so amazed at my ability to stay up for 3 days straight and once I was done with all my papers I came home, showered and we drove out to Sonic in Long Island. Probably wasn't the safest thing having me drive sleep deprived but we always had fun.

At the library now, a text from you would be nice. To check up on me. But I don't expect one. E stood up until 1 flirting with me wishing I was in bed with her. I remember when you couldn't even wait to sit next to me in the passenger seat of my car let alone the bed. But times have changed. A new girl who wants me to hold her. Who calls me smart, fun, witty, sarcastic, soothing voice and has the right combination of hot and handsome. You use to say the same. You loved how soft my voice was. Well try not to destroy every guy between now and when you want to settle. BYE!

May 9, 2013

You're bad. Tears roll down my face remembering how you toyed with this falseness that I mistook for real. I have a good guy that's smart, that respects me, that is genuinely supportive... and let me say, far more handsome than you are, all my friends are rooting for him, for some "us" in a future... and they can't stand the mention of you, they think I'm stupid for hammering on this after so long, and I can't understand it either, but you're still the one for me, and I feel so embarrassed about it because I know you're selfish and cruel, I know all the sweetness and intimacy was nothing but bullshit, it's like I don't value myself at all... I always criticized women that are so weak and so blind for truly imagining a future with douchebags like you, and I have grown into one of them, I want the scumbag that strings me along, ignores me, manipulates me, and I don't even know why, sometimes I think it's just the sex. At least you pushed me away, it's like, despite my terrible taste and stupid choices in life, things somehow conspire and luck is always on my side and good things happen to me, I just hate that I'm so stubborn that I hang on to the bad for a long time...

May 9, 2013

You gave up when we barely started. We waited so long to have actual intercourse because you wanted to wait. We just started to become absolutely comfortable with each other's bodies. The scars on your body because of past surgeries were super sexy. I just wanted to please you. We didn't even get a chance to use those "toys" you bought for the bedroom. We just started! Yeah we were intimate in other ways for months but we finally did it. I would have used blindfolds and hand cuffs and whatever you wanted eventually. But we just needed time. You never gave us that second chance, you quit after we had intercourse a few times because you saw how serious things could get. You were late with your time of the month and we panicked. Seriously! In each others lives for over a year, I waited for after the surgery to start anything and you couldn't even award us a chance to spark things. Instead you saw other routes to satisfy you. Hook ups and promiscuous texts with guys from your past. Please in the future don't categorize me in that bunch when you decide to text when lonely. Don't flirt or sexually turn me on. I still feel like I have you to turn me on. I need to forget your naked magic, forget that image of you having nothing on but the bracelet I got for you on valentines! So sexy of a person that I now have to view you in disdain that you gave up on me because we took our relationship a step forward.

I'm just so tempted to ask you to hang out tonight. Can we hang out? Would we spark again? Jeez this is pathetic. I know we can't hang out because its not best for me. You just don't see me the same! I can't be friends yet. I haven't changed enough yet.

Edited May 9, 2013 by maturityassets

May 9, 2013

I got another phone. It really helped. A different looking phone reminded me less of him and all the messages he left on it. Seriously, it did help. Changing your phone number to a non-listed number is good, so you won't be waiting and hoping that person will call. The person won't be able to because the number was changed.

I don't have a mobile/cell phone, it's a house phone lol but yeah I was thinking of treating mysel to both, I was always used to getting her the latest an greatest stuff, maybe now it's my turn, I'll have to think about changing my landline number too , just ashame my SP charge a lot of money to do so, I'm not waiting around for her but it would be nice to know she could talk to me one day if she really needed to.

May 9, 2013

You piss me off so much! You knew that you had baggage from your last relationship 4 years ago and you played me. Instead of taking care of those issues along time ago, so purposely sought out someone like me: shy, no experience, etc. all in the name of easing your loneliness for a hot minute. You didn't even consider my feelings or how your little plan for an ego boost would affect me. I should have known that when you told me that "typically, relationships don't last," you were giving me a warning that that was what you thought about our little relationship. You know what? I think you're afraid of letting people in, afraid of being emotional, afraid of being human! And now...now, you throw me bread crumbs, knowing that I still have feelings for you and still want to be around you, although I know darn well, that you are not a good person and that you have a questionable character. You throw a bread crumb, I put myself out there, you get your ego stroked, then you ignore me, the I reach out, you ignore me some more, then you throw out another crumb. This is the cycle I'm stuck in and I'm quite disgusted with myself for allowing this to continue. I wish I could grow a pair and say goodbye for once and for all!

May 9, 2013

I love you and I miss you, what elsw is there to say.....

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