Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[CaliforniaGirl80]

Stop torturing me. You make me so mad! If you had that homely looking girl in your life right now you wouldn't even do this to me anymore. So I will support everything you do in that regard. Find her. **** her. Love her. In other words ; LEAVE ME ALONE!! You take, take, take and take without the grieve it cause me to give, give, give and give.

[Mcnulty]

So, we became friends again 6 months ago, we were both very poorly I remember. I was so happy that you were there for me and I you.

 

Over time, the texts became more affectionate and even got sexual at the end, you talked about us moving to the Shetlands and opening a sanctuary..our sanctuary. We talked about meeting..that we did 2 weeks ago. It was perfect, like 2 pieces of a jigsaw, we just fitted right back together.

 

But, you cheated on me with my friend, he's been there, somewhere I could never go again..breaks my heart. Looking at you that day, you've not changed one bit, I wanted you, but knew it could never be.

 

The next day, you ask how work was, i ask how your day has been, you don't answer the question, i say okay, i won't pry, I tell you I'm feeling unsettled, you say, "hope it's not to do with me"...I lied and said no, what would've been the point?

 

13 days later, not a word from you, from texting 10-15 times a day to nothing. My phone is so quiet....but I think I know why, either you're feeling the same as me, or you're back with him..or someone else.

 

I can't handle it anymore and it breaks my heart, so sad it is...I'm in love with you still after all this time, knowing i could never have you in my life anymore.

 

God i miss you, feel like I'm back to the first time we ended, was heartbroken then and am heartbroken now.

 

Goodbye..I wish you health and happiness, i really do honey, you'll forever be in my heart.

[eachcomingnight]

Hey,

I am thinking about you a lot today. Strangely, after only three weeks, it doesn't hurt nearly as much as I expected it to. The other night at the baseball game, I noticed about halfway through that I hadn't thought of you at all. Today, the thoughts seem to be with me constantly - but they are just thoughts, tinged with a hint of loneliness. I know that my day would be a bit brighter today with you in it, but the sun is still shining despite your absence.

 

I really want to reach out to you today, just to talk. I won't do it, because I don't want to risk setting myself back. Why did you have to tell me that you were "struggling"? It's not enough to justify any action on my part, just enough to get me wondering and thinking and perhaps even hoping a bit. (Of course, that's probably why you did it, maybe without even realizing it.)

 

I'm glad my new job opportunity has come into my life to allow me to look forward rather than to look back. I have a lot to be excited about. At the same time, I obviously had thought I would be making this transition with you.

 

Anyway, I guess I just miss you, but not in the "I can't live without you" way.

x

[Amber-rain]

Angry Man,

Why do we make each other crazy? Why does it seem the majority of the 6 months we have been talking again that it is constant drama and yet we can't seem to stay away from each other? I told you last night that I need time, so don't call, text, write, etc... But we both know I am the one who always breaks down and initiates it. You probably laughed. In 6 months through many of these conversations and us saying we are taking a break or pushing each other away permanently, we have never gone more than 3 days without talking.

Today is Day 1.. not so bad, I have made it here before. But when at the office in front of the email this week, I don't know if I can control myself. This hurts. There may be a lot of journaling and LoveShacking going on. How is it possible I am so in love with you that I know it hurts but I don't want to be without you??

[ChazzB]

again woke up thinking of you... feeling sad

 

your birthday is in one week, and i don't know anything about you

 

and i still wish i did i miss you so much...

[lop98]

There are no words to express how much I miss you today. I like the person I'm with at the moment, you seem to like her enough, but I was invaded by the painful memory of you today, hopefully because I didn't have much to do. My brain hurts remembering you. I tried to remember the moment where you just decided not to try anymore and found it, it was all after that email... the worst part is that I meant everything, and I still feel that lack of trust, and I feel wounded, but I wish you had come and fought with me.. for us. I can't even breathe just realizing how we started this, how it felt like we were dreaming... falling so deeply in love after a friendship of 6 years... and you made me feel this love with an intensity no one will ever manage to awake in me, I wanted to be in your arms and hear your voice every single second of those months... and now it's all ashes, and we're both with different people and compromises will come and it will all be past. Why did we do this to ourselves? I know it hurts you as much as it hurts me, I know the impossibility of opening up with each other again the way we did before makes you sad too... and I know we can't even try because we brought two more people into the equation too. We were so stupid, so so stupid. I just want to forget you, I want to forget everything about you, the idea of one day realizing you were truly irreplaceable and I will indeed never feel what I felt with you makes me so angry and nauseous at life...

[aquietgirl]

every tear that falls out of my eye is for you

 

every pain that i felt

 

every time i hugged the sheets before i slept, was to take away a void i had from you

 

when will this stop? would you stop it for me?

[ChazzB]

i cant help but think of you enjoying your life with someone else... i wanted that to be me, i still do. Even though i know i shouldnt and , most importantly , that it wont happen, i still want to hold you, kiss you, love you and protect you

 

i dont know how to let go... life goes on and on and yet this part does not seem to move on... its been half a year already, we both have different lives, we are both different persons, my heart is crushed, and yours is ice cold towards me...

 

what can i do, i hate this...

[intigo]

Today i read one of our conversations a few days after we broke up. You were saying i will be alone because its my choice and i dont have any feelings to give to noone.After that day we made love 2 times you called me so many times late at night saying i love you i miss you i cant sleep with out you and now 4 days after your last text saying i cant sleep because i miss you you are with another guy? Everything was a lie? How could you? why did you put me through all this giving me hope one day and taking it away the next. You even asked for time the day i was about to say goodbye. I trully love you stupid bitch i want to be with you. I wish i could stop loving you like you did.

[targaryen]

This is an actual email I just wrote at 1am....haven't sent it ... yet ...

 

Hey (ex gf name)

 

I know this is out of the blue, but do you realise it's been almost 3 months since we spoke last? We should really catch up over coffee (or tea) some time soon. A lot of things have happened since January, I bet!

 

My suggestion: (coffee shop) at (neighbourhood) has some great cakes, and a smoking area - where we can hang out. Actually, I'll be there on Thursday after 7.30pm this week. You're welcome to join. Otherwise feel free to suggest another time and place.

 

(signature)

 

PS: I'd appreciate it if you replied to this email, even if you can't make it, so I can make other plans instead. Cheers!

[justinje]

First month I was so busy I barely felt a thing, then the 2nd month killed me. It hurt so bad and I missed you so much, I hadn't felt that way about someone in years. Then I began the recovery process, by the end of 2nd month I was better, half way through the third I could go without thinking about you for a day or so. Heck at the beginning of this month, though you were always there somewhere on my mind, I didn't dwell any.

 

Now, all of a sudden the last three days I can't get you off my mind. I'm back to thinking about the reasons we broke up, about the fights, about the suspicions, the hurt, etc. You gave me a bread crumb at the end of January asking if I had passed my exam, but since I haven't heard a thing. If I were to see you somewhere or if you were to text me you'd probably say something to the effect that I don't care about you and never did because I didn't try to contact you. Despite the fact I tried to work things out for a month, despite the fact you left me twice, it'd be my fault.

 

Did you cheat? While we were together 100% chance you were loyal, that's always how I felt. But now with all this time to go back and dissect every detail I find myself at 50/50. It's so strange to miss somebody so much, to want to go back in time to a morning where we both didn't have to work. We'd wake up when we wanted, hold each other, I'd make you pancakes. We'd watch TV and figure out something we were going to do together that day. It's so strange to miss that so much, but at the same time realize that it's not coming back, that even if you did come back how could I trust you? And I don't even mean with cheating but trust that you'd be there for me when I need you.

 

At the end of the day that's what matters, I don't care if you have money, I don't care if you have a dog, I care that you care about me and when the time comes that I need you you'll be there. You talked the talk, and you did walk the walk for awhile. But then when things were at their worst you left. That's okay, I've always been self-reliant anyway, your the one that begged me to let you help me with things when we first started dating. Funny how by the end the things that attracted you to me in the first place ended up being the same tihngs that drove you away, or apparently they were if what you said was true.

 

And now here I sit, after thinking I was over this crap, after being with a few other girls, here I sit. Oh yeah you were right alright I sure didn't care about you (sarcasm). Funny how the person who said they were heart broken and felt unloved was the person who left the relationship and then was dating someone else within 4 weeks while the person who apparently "didn't care" was still sitting around 2 months later unable to consider dating someone else.

 

I really thought we might have had a shot at something, we were very very very different people, but that's what made it so much fun. In the end I'm not sure what happened. I hope you were telling the truth, I hope you did just fall out of love with me instead of the alternative. I'll never know, even if you told me I couldn't fully believe you.

 

Oh well, that's life. You live, you learn, you try to move on. If I do talk to you sometime in the future I wonder under what circumstances and how the conversation would go. I know in my head it's you coming back to talk about us, but that's in my head and will never become reality...............

 

phew.......rant over............

[aquietgirl]

think for once.... thank maybe it'd be nice if you gave me just one hug. one hug. to know that someone acknowledges me as a human. that im not alone...that i meant something at least.

[jewellake]

Dear S,

 

I'll probably be moving too. It's sooner than I'd planned, but nothing is really holding me back, and I'm tired of not having my life settled. I'm tired of not being able to buy actual books or actual furniture or beautiful art like you have, and I'm tired of not having a home. Most of all, I'm tired of being alone, and I think moving will be an opportunity to meet a good partner, or at the very least it'll be something to put my energy into while I wait to find the right person.

 

I wonder what exactly you mean by broken people. 'Hurt people hurt people', though. That's definitely a thing.

 

I spend a lot of time wondering what happened between us, and whether you just lost interest or whether it really was some external thing or person. The former makes me wish I just were a much more fantastic person or that maybe it makes me wish you'd gotten to know me better. I felt overwhelmed the whole time we were together and I don't know if I was the best version of myself. Maybe if I transform into a graceful artistic type who is always self-possessed and has never done or said anything less than charming. It's not necessarily my ideal version of myself, but if that's what would make you love me, I am ashamed to say I would do it if I thought I could. Why would you respond to my last email with only a brief paragraph. You couldn't even say something like "I care about you too" (which is pretty much meaningless, but at least is a gesture).

 

Maybe you do care about me, but the thing is even someone you really really did care about, you let her go too. It really makes you sad that she's gone, and you can't let go of her. Provided what you (over)shared with me was true, it sounds like the overarching reason for the breakup was pretty legitimate, but you shouldn't have let her go on dates with somebody else and you shouldn't have pretended to be cool with it. It seems weird that someone who would throw a total fit over an RPG would be in such denial about that. Although maybe it's transference or whatever that's called when emotions get misplaced and show up over inappropriate stuff.

 

Anyway, the thing is even if you really liked me, you'd probably let me go too at the first sign of trouble because you either think relationships just happen or because you don't believe a relationship could actually work. I can relate because I used to think so too, which is part of the problem because I can relate to you on one hand, but then you're *so self centered* which I can't relate to! You feel bad, I get it! But my heart is broken, and it's not all about you! I do want you to figure out your emotions without me in the crossfire between you and the world right now, but I deserve more consideration than just "bye!". When did you think you were going to do that? Why did you think it was okay to just break up with me when clearly that's not what I wanted? Also, and most importantly, if things were different would you be into me? I ask because I did not think you would be and I was soooo cautious but then to my amazement, you totally were. I would not have been so into you if I didn't think you were into me. It was really painful. All I can do now, though, is turn you and your life and any future we might have had over to the universe. I believe each of us has what we need to thrive. I may never find a partner, but if I do I deserve someone who is present in the relationship and really really loves me, and I deserve someone who is honest with himself and considerate of others. You possess these abilities but I will observe that you are not exactly exercising them.

 

If there is the slightest chance you were serious about getting back with me, please do. I will come to you if I can.

 

Love,

C

[JourneyLady]

Gee whiz. I have to write here because I can't contact you. That is, I dunno, you posted that random thought there and I want to think it means something pertaining to me/us, but I could be so wrong so I can't ask. If you're thinking about me/us... please please please, be direct. I am slowly going mad -- which makes me glad I am relocating. I don't think I could stay here much longer without going bonkers and the move will hopefully get my mind off you and so busy that I will stop waiting.

 

I mean, I'm busy now, sure, but a lot of it is stuff that allows me too much time to think while I'm doing them. Later I hope to be the thinking kind of busy.

 

I'm also wondering about you and I hate being NC because I can't express wondering how you are and what's going to happen with your medical stuff...

Truthfully I miss how things were but I'd be happy with a 10th of that. Well...maybe I wouldn't after a while. But in the immediate I'd be glad just hearing from you.

 

But I can't be the one to start anything...

[aquietgirl]

im sick with lonliness. only you can take it away.

[fiftyofsomethin]

Ms. Z,

 

I do not appreciate how you have been treating me. Seriously. What is wrong? You break up with me because you need time to yourself, you say we can still be friends and now you COMPLETELY forget about me and treat me like crap every time I see you? No. I am being treated as if I did something terrible and I am being punished for it. I have done nothing but try to fix our relationship. If that is my crime, charge me all you want.

 

You seem so happy without me, which hurts more than you could imagine. I've tried putting on a happy face to make it seem that I am doing the same. I have tried to have fun with friends and do things to get my mind off of you and your crap, but to be honest, I don't know how that is possible.

 

You just keep moving and moving and moving on. While I am sinking and sinking lower.

 

I hope you realize what you are doing to me.I hope realize that the very DEFINITION of happiness is what I found in you. You made me happier than I had been before. And you took that away from me and used it on yourself. You are just building up your ego with me. You KNOW you could have me back at any time you felt weak. You know that I am just standing here idly. Although we haven't talked in more than a month, you know.

 

There is hope, yes. But that is long off.

 

I simply wished very humbly that we would remain civil and friendly after our breakup and well, that has gone right out the ****ing window.

 

I never was told your true intentions of breaking up with me. Seeing as we never fought or got into a disagreement of any kind, I have been left here to rot in my unrequited love. I have tried to move on with my life, but this has become hard because you BECAME my life for that time.

 

I suppose I did grow too attached to you, but hell, I was in love.

 

And you have it all.

 

Every morning since, I have woken up and rolled over to text you that good morning text. I start to type and I finally wake up and realize.

 

I wish I could say goodbye to you for good and move on to the bigger and better things I KNOW are waiting for me.

 

I wish I could just be happy for you and move on with my life.

 

I wish I could just accept the circumstances of this wretched disposal of our relationship.

 

But alas, this will stay inside.

 

Eternally, J

Edited April 23, 2013 by fiftyofsomethin

[intigo]

you stupid lying bitch you told my mother that i didnt take you out and only wanted to stay at home? I wanted to take you to paris for a weekend. YOU were always tired to go out YOU always wanted to go to your place and I was the one that was telling its not appropriate because your parents would say were always there!!! Stupid girl you wanted to break up with me i fought for a second chance but eventually i respected your decision why in the name of god do you say all these things about me why?i wanted to say goodbye you asked for time i gave you time and you go out with another guy. You tell our friend that you wanted time to find what you want not to think if you want to be with me or not THEN WHY DID YOU ASK MEEEE FOR TIME? you said you didnt feel safe because im not working you were the one to say i dont care about money i paid so many times for you when we went out i even wanted to lend you money i bought you presents you bought me ****. You are 22 spoiled brat you broke you iphone and your daddy bought you a new one you say you have a car and your daddy buys you gas. When i said why dont you finish it you said i have finished it 1,5 month ago OK then why did YOU wanted to make love 2 times why did YOU called late at night why did YOU say you miss me why did YOU say love me why did YOU say i cant sleep without you and 4days later you were so happy to announce to common friends that you date another guy. And you are such a coward that when i called and asked for closure you said nothing happened why do i have to feel gulty hes just a coalegue, i DONT ****IN CARE do what you want with you life you put me through hell so many days hoping to be back with you. If i wanted revenge i would say to him that we were ****ing when you were dating i would show our friends the messages you send me all this time to prove that I am not an ashole like you say. I dont want to love you anymore i just want it to stop i regret the tears i cried for you the things i told you the prayers everything. You treated me like **** why? because i love you? I am sure you are not thinking what you have done or me or the pain you caused me you are busy ****ing the new guy. I will get over you i have done it in the past i will do it again i dont know how long it will take because when i say i love you i mean it and it doesnt go away so easy. Its so funny you were angry because when you said i love you for the first time i didnt respond but only hugged you..where are you now? you wanted me to love you or just say it to you? I was so blinded you are still a child you need to grow up hope you regret it one day when it will be to late. I love you so much stupid bitch.

[sleepycat]

So I hear you have added your new relationship to facebook already barely been a month and after you said you couldn't give your best to our relationship, you needed time to be alone... what a crock of sh*t! Stupid thing was when we split it was amicable because I believed you yeah maybe its just my pride but wow you met someone else so quick and I hate you for it because you gave up on us.

[lop98]

I just can't believe you'd make love to me like that and create this whole drama for weeks and suddenly bull***** yourself kicking me out of your life and jumping in a new relationship. You even grab her hair the way you'd grab mine, you probably f⋃ck her the same way too, I hope you're forwarding the f⋃cking poems you sent to me to her too to complete your whole act of scam. What a little piece of shiit you are. I hate you. I hate you to the point of tears, I wish I could destroy your face and the smile you easily bullshiit people with. I look at this person who's amazing and I can't feel anything even though he's there for me, even donating his blood to a relative he knows nothing about, and I can't for the life of me be genuinely nice and caring because I don't care and I hate you so much for that, I should've never let you in... you screwed my life and hopes and emotions in ways you'll never even be able to fathom, now it's all grey and I don't have anything, I'll just pretend it's all good for how knows how long. F⋃ck you... ugly f⋃ck.

[targaryen]

I

 

I know this is completely out the blue, but since the idea of getting back in touch with you popped into my head yesterday, I realised that all the reasons I had for not doing so are null and void at this point. Not talking to you now feels wrong and deeply unnatural and I don't want that shadow over us anymore. More than that, I have a feeling you're ready to see me again, but knowing you, would never come out and say it. So I thought I'd be the one to take the first step in changing things.

 

It's been almost 3 months since we last spoke, so I think that enough time has passed for us to be able to meet for a drink, catch up over what's been happening, chat about favourity tv shows ... without thinking too much about it. I mean, what's the worse that can happen? If it's terribly awkward we can always cut it short and go back to the way things are right now, which I think you'll agree is not desirable.

 

So what do you say...are you ready to accept what's past and move forward? I know I am. We won't ever be the way we were, but we can be something different, if we try.

 

If I'm right, and you agree and are ready to meet up, tomorrow at 8pm at the downtown coffee top works for me. Feel free to suggest another time and place though.

 

Also, if you don't reply, even to say you disagree and we shouldn't meet yet, I'll assume you're filtering my emails out, something I think only spammers and stalkers deserve. I'm hoping that you'll respect that I'm putting my head on the proverbial chopping block by being the one to get in touch, and that you'll at least give me a definite answer instead of silence.

 

N

[Jingle14]

Is this it? Are we really never going to speak to each other again?! I remember when we struggled to spend 24 hours apart, and now it has been almost 2 years. I don't want to know if you are still with the bitch you started seeing days after we last slept together - as passionate and 'right' as when we first got together and fell so deeply and utterly in love, just the thrill of finally being together, do you remember that, the time when I was your first and last thought? I wish I knew if you ever thought of me (like you did, unbeknown to me, for almost 3 years before we got together - how shocked I was when you told me how dazzled you'd been by me when I first walked into the meeting room, how anyone, let alone you who I admired and looked up to so much and never thought would look twice at me, would think like that about me!).

 

Will I never hear your voice again? Will I never look at your face again, the face I've held gently in my hands so often while we said how much we loved and adored each other. I loved you so very much. there was nothing I wouldn't have done for you - how different to your beige ex wife who only ever took and walked all over you. I remember your parents being so thrilled - it was written all over their faces, you mother even said it - that you finally had someone who cared about you. You were amazed when your mother told you that she was glad you were in a relationship with me, as that wasn't like her you said, neither was the way she would hug me whenever we met. 'He'd do anything for you' she told me once, smiling broadly. Does she think the same of my replacement? She saw the positive influence I had on you, the feminine touches to your clinical rented house when you asked me to help make it nicer for when your kid visited, your hair grown slightly longer and much more flattering than the severe cut you'd always worn, taking more interest in your appearance (how she loved the new clothes I helped you choose, you'd never thought you were worth investing in before but I told you all the time how special you were and you should have what you wanted as you worked hard). She said what a lovely thing to do when you rang her and told her where I'd taken you for your birthday surprise holiday - you'd no idea where we were going until we arrived, I wonder if you ever think of that? I was told you'd never looked happier. It's not fair that someone else is now reaping the benefit of your new found confidence.

 

But do you lie to her - if she is still around and I suspect she is, although I have no clue, nor do I want to, I still can't cope with the thought of you with anyone but me - like you often did to me? Are you secretive with her so that she starts doubting herself like I did, and I'm normally a strong person but you reduced me to a wreck who was unsure of anything. I'm back to me now, its been a hard and tough slog but I am hard and tough by nature. I think lying, deception and secrecy are in your core, so I can only assume 'she' will be getting the same treatment. I wonder if she tolerates it - I imagine you've chosen another beige person, like your ex, as you can't deal with someone with a mind and personality of their own, you thought that was what you wanted after being so bored for years with her but it turns out you are too weak for that. Have you found someone who loves you unconditionally - accepts you for your flaws as well as your good points, never tried or wanted to change you, never criticised you, just accepted you? You'll be lucky if you have, as that's something you only find once in your life, if at all.

 

We didn't have to end up like we did. We talked about the home we wanted, what we wanted for our children. We shared the same goals and values (although I'm not a liar) and could have achieved so much together. You once told me that you thought you and I could achieve anything we set our minds to, and we would have done. I wish you'd had the balls to see it through, to get past the divorces, to accept our difficulties were purely circumstantial - and they really were - and see the life we would have been very happy living when it had all settled down. Even at the end, we were still passionately attracted to each other, that never went for either of us, we couldn't resist each other, you admitted that and the fact the chemistry between us was still there - again, you just don't find that so easily, let's face it, we never had done before, we'd 'settled'. I suspect you've 'settled' again but I never will again, not even if that means I'm single forever.

 

You wasted 'us'. I hope you think it was worth it. Actually, no, I hope you look back in the future and bitterly regret your choices.

[CaliforniaGirl80]

Because of an important reason I am going to have to see you on friday. I hate it. I hate it because I cannot give in to whatever I may be feeling when I see you. I have to make myself strong beforehand. I will be so proud of myself. I will be so happy that I am able to see you and NOT give in. I am not going to give in, you hear me?! I am not! I will just remember all of the nice things you said about your ex and not about me. I will remember how you adore and obsess about that homely looking girl who already moved on and is even married. I will see you for what you are. A sad man who is obsessed with his ex. A man who has created his own version of events. A man who will regret letting me go. She has nothing on me. Sorry. She really hasn't. I have no idea why you're not able to see it. You will though. But I won't be here. I will see you and smile at you and laugh with you and be me. You can't take me away from ME! I am me you stupid jerk.

See you friday!

[Mcnulty]

Someone to hug me and tell me everything's going to be okay.

 

Someone to look at me and tell me I'm here for a reason.

[CopingGal]

I don't miss you because you are a sick and twisted freak. I miss who I thought you were. F-you...yeah, my anger has gone down, way down, but every once and a while it will rise for a short time. So, F-you, you worthless bastard.

Edited April 25, 2013 by CopingGal

[Harradin]

You know, I actually feel pity for you. You were so anti cheating and yet now you cheat whenever given the opportunity (although I'm glad you did it to the 'friend' you left me for as he deserved it for what he did to me,) what on earth happened to you?!

 

You know, I still remember the first day we met like it was yesterday, it remains one of my best memories. My best memory was when I was driving home and I realized that you were special and that I desperately needed to keep you around. Yet you're not in my life anymore because of your actions, its quite sad.