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Post here instead of contacting your ex!

polywog

By polywog
in Coping

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SimonSerenade Established Member

SimonSerenade

Posted
Posted

I've not been able to open up about you this month so I'm going to do it on here and maybe somewhere on the other side you can see it, do they have internet in heaven?, I hope they do, some funny stuff on youtube these days :p.

 

I don't even know where to start, you were my best friend, you were the first girl I ever developed romantic feelings for, I grew up with you, you were the person I always looked forward to seeing you the most, we shared everything with each other, felt like you were the only person I could ever connect with on a personal level, I trusted you with everything and you never let me down, we were the only ****ers with common sense back then lol.

 

There's so much I never got to tell you, I know you knew I loved you and I knew you loved me and that still comforts me even now, just knowing someone like you could love me, we may never have taken that step and maybe it was worth it, just to preserve such a really amazing friendship.

 

I think what I found so hard to come to terms with was how young you where, why god wanted you so soon, why he couldn't let you live an amazing life and one day be a mother and have a family, you always said you wanted that and damn you deserved that, you loved life and everybody in it, you always saw the best in everybody, even when sometimes you'd think it wasn't there, I haven't met anyone like you since, one of the hardest things even now is knowing when things go wrong in my life I can't turn to you and feel better.

 

I still feel so guilty that I couldn't do more to save your life, I'll never forget those moments, holding on to you, praying you'd make it through, crying in desperation, a thousand sad songs were playing in my mind, it still doesn't feel real, every moment felt like a thousand years and when it was all over, I couldn't accept it, I couldn't take it in, one minute I have the best person I've ever known In my life and the next your gone and I'm just supposed to carry on like nothing had even happened.

 

I'll never forget you and you'll always be in my heart, you'll always be a big part of my soul because growing up with you made me who I am right now, when I'm happy and I close my eyes I can still see your friendly smiling face and it makes me feel so warm inside, I know you look down on me from time to time, don't ever stop doing that.

 

I miss you, I love you, Rest in Peace sweetheart.

delighted_delilah Member

delighted_delilah

Posted
Posted

I love you. And I ended it, AGAIN, yesterday. But... even though you don't believe me, even though I know you think I will cave and text you, I won't. This is done. We are done. The nights of me waiting for you? Done. The feeling of utter desolation when I come in last on the list of priorities? Done.

Oh, and that guy you f*****g HATE? The one I was with before you, who you cannot stand me even speaking to, but grit your teeth and snarl out "hey, if that makes you happy, FINE, talk to him".... that guy?

Yeah, I'm putting on my heels and my garters, and I'm going over to his house to make his dreams come true. And it won't be you I'm thinking of.

SimonSerenade Established Member

SimonSerenade

Posted
Posted

Oh and as for you, do whatever the *****! you want to do.

RiceaRoni Established Member

RiceaRoni

Posted
Posted

I'm missing him so much....so so much.

 

It's been so hard to stay off twitter but I have been. I want to know if he misses me at all..if he thinks of me like I think of him, but he doesn't

 

He has the girl he left me for.

 

The fool.

 

Why did he have to leave to a girl less emotionally stronger than me?

 

I am strong. I don't need him. I want him but don't need him.

 

Not a boy, a kid, someone who can so easily disrespect me..

 

I miss who he used to be.

 

Sorry guys...it was either vent here or give in and check his twitter.

 

It's been too long to turn back now

  • Like 1
thewrongonee Established Member

thewrongonee

Posted
Posted

Its been more then a month now, and I can finnaly say I'm over you. This is the last time ill be writing about you. I can honestly say you were my first love.

 

 

You changed me, you made me see what i was turning into and thanks to that; I no longer am what i was forcing my self into becoming. Shame that I hurt you so much, but i cannot live with the burden no more. I honestly can say that i do not have feelings for you anymore, its been far too long now. I just hope one day our paths will cross, and I will get a chance to apologize to for my sins, but it will be nothing more or less then that. You offered me friendship still, i turned it down. I'm not sure if i can ever understand what that will eventually lead to, maybe i'm just scared.

 

You did change my world for the better, and I am sure the next person you meet will make you much more happier than me.

AwptiK Established Member

AwptiK

Posted
Posted

Good morning. Happy what would've been another month... Been thinking about you since I knew you were up too.

 

Have a good day driving to class from the new place.

 

This isn't too hard anymore, my love for you is strong enough to let you go right now. It almost feels like we are still together. In time...

 

<3

Jingle14 Established Member

Jingle14

Posted
Posted
I'm missing him so much....so so much.

 

It's been so hard to stay off twitter but I have been. I want to know if he misses me at all..if he thinks of me like I think of him, but he doesn't

 

He has the girl he left me for.

 

The fool.

 

Why did he have to leave to a girl less emotionally stronger than me?

 

I am strong. I don't need him. I want him but don't need him.

 

Not a boy, a kid, someone who can so easily disrespect me..

 

I miss who he used to be.

 

Sorry guys...it was either vent here or give in and check his twitter.

 

It's been too long to turn back now

 

 

Really don't, the only one it will hurt is you and it's pointless torturing yourself. You've done the right thing in venting on here, then there's no harm done - he doesn't know but you've still got it out of your system. Stay strong.

  • Like 2
AwptiK Established Member

AwptiK

Posted
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Today's gonna be a day you're in my head a lot.

 

Are you thinking of me too? Miss me?

 

I'm finding such peace with the situation right now. I'm returning to being the best version of myself. I'll be ready when you return.

SimonSerenade Established Member

SimonSerenade

Posted
Posted

Sometimes I wish I never bothered with you at all, I wish I never gave you a chance, I was happy on my own, I knew I'd wind up in a situation like this again, I was finally beginning to think wonderful things about myself, I was building up my self esteem, I always said the next time I got In a relationship, I wouldn't be weak, I wouldn't stand for being treated in such horrible ways, I honestly thought someone would fall head over heels for me, love me and appreciate me, do anything to keep me around, want to be with me forever, the jokes on me, I was a fool to think anybody would feel that way about me, there's always somebody better round the corner, I just wish for once I could of been that somebody, oh well, time to move on and live my life again, I have a wonderful little boy to focus on and I'm never going to let myself get in a hopeless depressing situation like this again, he deserves my full attention and the whole of my heart, I have to be strong for him.

  • Like 2
Minadee Established Member

Minadee

Posted
Posted

Last night you told me you had moved on and didnt feel that way for me anymore, yet this time 24 hours ago we were intertwined in bed, you were watching me sleep and stroking my face.

 

What the f*ck do you want me to think?!

 

I'm so confused and numb and I feel like i've not moved from the place I was at 6 months ago. 7 months ago we were lying in bed facing eachother discussing the prospect of marriage and which season we'd get married in.

 

How has it come to this?

Wabisabi Established Member

Wabisabi

Posted
Posted

Today is exactly one week since we broke up. You didn't contact me so I was forced to go into NC coz I'm not gonna be the one to initiate contact. Maybe because today's a week exactly, I've been thinking a lot about you. I still miss you but I'm also mad at you. How could you say you still loved me so much and 3 days later, tell me you don't love me anymore? You make it sound like our love was some kinda joke and I hate you for that! I wish you could suffer from bad karma but at the same time deep in my heart, I don't really. I will never NEVER be the one to call you or text you again. This I promised myself. No matter how hard I will pull through. You just wait and see. I loved you and probably still do but I don't need you anymore. Goodbye and good riddance. Damn I'll probably see you again in summer which is unavoidable. Dunno how I'll react then but I'm very sure I'll keep my dignity and self-respect. I'll love myself.

cdt76 Established Member

cdt76

Posted
Posted

Hey B:

 

I saw that you viewed my profile on a dating site recently. The little thumbnail picture, looked like you but I clicked on your profile to make sure. I gotta say... you look like sh$t. I mean, no really. You look awful. The blonde hair looks trashy as ever. The eye make up, well, I guess that just rounds out the whole whore look you are going for. It's fitting though. Oh and your arms! You look like you haven't eaten in a year. Your arms don't even look like they belong to the face in the picture. It's disgusting! Literally. I don't think I've seen you look so terrible. And the funny thing is that you think it's hot. I'm sure idiots on the website will contact you and you willl whore yourself out to them. It's like you aren't even close to the person I fell in love with. Whoever you are today, is probably the worst possible person you could ever become...or perhaps you reverted back to that person. Either way, you look freaking awful. Good luck being a whore. I'm sure you are good at it.

SimonSerenade Established Member

SimonSerenade

Posted
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What I'd of given for you to have been there for me these last few weeks, they've been so hard, I've been so ill and so emotionally exhausted, can't help but feel you put me in this position, it's so hard to forgive you when your just so inconsiderate, it's one thing to not care about me but to ignore my kid on his birthday, you couldn't even get him a cheap little card then to make an argument out of it, that's messed up but still I forgave you, I don't know why because you weren't even sorry but I forgave you anyway, I find myself having to forgive you for the stupid **** you do all the time but this time, no this is different, you knew my health was declining, you knew this time of the year always devastates me for obvious reasons, rather than make it easier on me (which I desperately needed), you kicked me while I was down, that was low and I can't forgive you for that and I never will, now you don't even call let alone message me back

 

I reach out to you and you pull away, you make out like you've got much better things to do, in the end there's no sense of urgency, there never has been, this has always been a truly one sided relationship, I loved you, I would of given up all my time to make things right, when things aren't right, my whole world isn't right yet for you, you just move on and don't even care one little bit, you always claimed you loved me and you fed me all your BS about wanting a future with me and me and my little boy meaning the world to you, I always knew it was a lie, I always knew in the back of my mind I'd never mean anything to you.

 

I tried to be the best boyfriend you ever had, I tried really hard, I always made the efforts, I always opened up, I treated you like a little princess at times, I don't know what more I could of done, everybody has problems but people who are in love stick together and they love each other throughout, just seems like you want to cause problems and then leave, your a psychopathic bitch you know that, can't help but think you get your jollies out of hurting peoples feelings, knowing that there pining for you, I always tried to see the good in you but after these last few weeks I don't think there is any good anymore, if you can't be there for the guy you love when he really needs you to come through for him the most then you don't deserve to be with anybody at all and never will.

 

One day you will realise how good a guy you had, how he would of done anything for you, would of been there for you for the rest of your life, you'll realise that and when you do I won't be there for you, hopefully by then I would of found somebody that could actually give a rats ass and would cherish and care just as much for my feelings as I would for hers, as for you, you can go back to guys taking advantage of your pathetic ass and feeling sorry for yourself hanging out with your loser alcoholic friends but hey, it's all your fault so no skin of my big honker.

Blastoplast Established Member

Blastoplast

Posted
Posted

Hearing from one of your good friends over the weekend: "She thinks highly of you and still does" hurt and made me feel better all at the same time. Weird!

SimonSerenade Established Member

SimonSerenade

Posted
Posted

I'm not going to fool myself, I know in your heart and mind it's over, I've seen it coming for a while now, you've been slowing detaching yourself from me and as much as I've wanted to ignore it and rationalise it in my mind I know I can't, I saw it coming for a good while now, it's hard to come to terms with, I've been sat around checking the PlayStation constantly and checking the phone to see if you've called, I don't know what you've been doing these last few days and I don't think I want to know but I know for sure you haven't been sharing the same feelings of longing and desperation.

 

Despite this whole mess I do love you and I am going to miss you, I loved you on a level I've never loved anyone before, I gave myself to you and I don't regret it one bit, you showed me intimacy the likes I'll probably never experience again, just the thought of anyone hurting you or messing you around killed me inside because you didn't deserve it for a second, I just wish I could of been your knight in shining armour back then and saved you from it all, it's a shame it has to end this way but your not happy and I'm not happy in the light of everything that has gone on lately.

 

I don't expect any long goodbyes, I don't expect any feelings or tears to be shed, hell I don't even expect any closure on this, that's not who you are, I'm not slating it, in fact sometimes I wish I was the exact same way, I'm tired of getting my feelings all butt hurt all the time but that's who I am, I'm a sensitive guy and I probably always will be, it's in my nature, I don't think I'd change it even if I could, I embrace it, I hope one day I meet someone who will cherish and love that part of me.

 

I'm not going to hate you for all of this, I'm sure deep down you have your reasons for how you act and what you do and I don't want to hate you, you've meant way too much to me and done way too much for me to ever hate you, you let me know I could love again, you let me know I could embrace somebody in my heart again and yeah it didn't work out but just knowing that breathes fresh air in to my lungs and I'll always be thankful for that and I'll wish you the absolute best and hope you get what makes you happy one day, I'm sorry that wasn't me, I wanted nothing more than to be married to you and have a family with you one day.

 

There's just some things in this world you can't change and you have absolutely no control over, I only hope you take good care of yourself and the next guy you open up your world to can let it all in and love you more than I ever did, you deserve that, despite your bad points you are a really good person, don't ever lose sight of that, it would be a shame to see you one day and know you've turned in to somebody your not.

 

I love you, have a good life, I hope everything turns out well for you, me and the kiddo will miss you dearly. xxxxxxxx

Rocky road Member

Rocky road

Posted
Posted

Hey, thanks for thinking of me today and caring enough to check in. Guess what? I already have a mom and many friends who do that for me just fine, and best of all I never had sex with any of them.

  • Like 2
cdt76 Established Member

cdt76

Posted
Posted

Listen to me your freaking pathetic excuse for a woman. Get the hell out of my head! Why would you look at my dating profile? Why would you do that knowing we can see who views it? You look f-ing awful and like a slutty whore, which is exactly what you are! Now, get the hell out of my head, leave me to rebuild myself without the thoughts of your nasty ass invading my mind! What we had was electric at the beginning. It was my dream and my life. Then you changed back into some whore I had never met before. So leave. Go! Get out! Don't look at my stuff, don't intrude of my life in any way and just leave! Take your fake hair and stupid freaking smile and just go!

Rocky road Member

Rocky road

Posted
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Hey, What! You want to call me tomorrow if I will listen? How about YOU just dump me again via text and get it over with? If you wanted to work things out you can text that yo!

SimonSerenade Established Member

SimonSerenade

Posted
Posted

Do whatever you want, you always get away with it anyway, you've never had to fight for me because I've always been there, I'm always available, you don't take me seriously, I'm just something you can throw away and pick up again when you feel like it, you can toy around with my feelings, you can disown me whenever you feel like it, you can change your mind on something and change it back again whenever you feel like it, keep on pushing me and your going to see what I can do.

IfiKnewThen Established Member

IfiKnewThen

Posted
Posted

wow SIMON i can TOTALLY RELATE to EVERYTHING you're saying in your post here to her. i have a guy treating me the EXACT same way. hes called recently but its like hes throwing me a bone. professes to still love me and not talking to anyone...but he sure doesn't act like he misses me as much at alllll. its been like a month of not spending ANY time together and being lonely and longing for him. i am getting so done with this. and i cant help but be angry. and when we do speak he always has to go ...go and do nothing he says. something is wrong with this picture. but i hope it bite him in the butt.

CaliforniaGirl80 Member

CaliforniaGirl80

Posted
Posted (edited)

Major setback. I was doing ok but I knew it wouldn't last. After a huge fight with my ex I went to find out who his ex was. Obsessively wanting to know what all the fuss was about.

I feel even worse now cause she is not all that. My confidence has hit a low point but I know I am way better in the looks department. Not that it matters but I hate how he never told me that I was prettier but did have the time to tell me how great she was and that she had qualities I didn't have. It is like he wanted me to know she was fantastic but did not want me to know that I had things that were better then her. Thanks idiot. This brings my self confidence to a new low. Now that I've seen her and think she is nothing but oatmeal I feel even worse. I want to confront you so badly but I know you will be extremely mad so I won't. I know I should feel better that I'm prettier but you just were too obsessed with her to notice but I still hate the fact that she is this homely looking girl. If she at least was this stunning girl it would've been easier to tolerate. I hate you. I really do. You destroyed me in so many ways and I can't wait for you to be out of my life so I can move on with mine. You made me feel crazy. Maybe I am. I was doing ok a week ago. I hate myself that you still get to me this way. Formal from now on. I will act formal. You will beg for my affection but formal normalcy is all you'll get.

Edited by CaliforniaGirl80
Wabisabi Established Member

Wabisabi

Posted
Posted

Oops...I almost wanted to write a closure letter to you since you're moving away tomorrow but I decided against it! Yikes!

  • Like 1
Am4Real Established Member

Am4Real

Posted
Posted
wow SIMON i can TOTALLY RELATE to EVERYTHING you're saying in your post here to her. i have a guy treating me the EXACT same way. hes called recently but its like hes throwing me a bone. professes to still love me and not talking to anyone...but he sure doesn't act like he misses me as much at alllll. its been like a month of not spending ANY time together and being lonely and longing for him. i am getting so done with this. and i cant help but be angry. and when we do speak he always has to go ...go and do nothing he says. something is wrong with this picture. but i hope it bite him in the butt.

 

Married and cheating? Thoughts?

IfiKnewThen Established Member

IfiKnewThen

Posted
Posted

hes not married i know that for a flat out fact. never been married. but yeah..i dont eant to even think about cheating :(:mad:

 

but yeah this is not like him .... its getting so depressing

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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