Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[d0620]

At first I was doing NC in order to regain some type of dignity and self respect from all the texts that I sent you, phone calls and emails. Then I started doing NC hoping that you would realize how much you miss me and decide to come back. Now I am getting anxious because this is the longest we have ever gonw without talking to each other after an argument and I realize that I have to start accepting that it's over and you are not coming back. Day 12 of BU and Day 8 of NC. I know 8 months is not a long time, but looking back at the memories and the time we shared, I would like to believe I was more than just a piece of a__. Its the realization that hurts. Man I didn't think today would be so rough..I really miss the illusion that you were my friend.

[RYKR]

**** you b*tch, lying sack of sh*t!!! Used your sweet words of lies and sang of empty lavish promises like a manipulating c*nt!!!

[Minadee]

i feel so lonley.

 

you only ever want to talk to me when you want sex or when you are drunk.

 

i have pretty much no friends, no bond with my family and now this.

 

this is my own fault, and i dont deserve to be sad about the pain that this has caused. i made my own bed. i continued seeing you and sleeping with you, pretending to be ok with the fact that it was "just sex" and shoved everyone's advice back in their face and now i deserve every second of anguish i get and i have no right to complain about it.

 

i miss your company terribly. i miss the nights we'd lie awake looking at eachother and just smiling because we never needed to communicate. then there were our movie nights where we'd watch terrible horror films with fatty foods and you'd cuddle me when a scary part came on and you'd tell me that you'd always protect me.

 

shame you cannot protect me from myself.

Edited February 27, 2013 by Minadee

[d0620]

As I look around I watch women stare me down and be uneasy in my presence. If they only knew that I am no different from them. You threw me away with nothing but a text. At least they have something to be happy about. A text? Still 14 Days today is when you sent me a text on Valentines Day. I had a feeling it was coming since I kept pressuring you for more, but I couldn't eat or sleep at the constant anxiety of wanting more and not getting anything in return. I keep fooling myself to believe that you are still thinking about me and you are coming back. In my mind, I imagine this grand way for you to apologize to me for breaking my heart and ask me for forgiveness. The more days that past the more my stomach feels like a bottomless pit. My friends believe you will contact me, but I am so tired of convincing myself to keep moving and things will get better. I am feeling a little stronger everyday. I really miss you.

[Debbie2508]

How could you leave me, after all you said,all we'd been through. How could you ask me to marry you?! Have you any idea what you've done to me, do you even care? I'm sick of having a "good" (relatively speaking!) day, only to be hit by a really s**ty one the next. I'm just so lost.....

[aMguilts]

me again

just want to say thank you for sending on my post like you said you would

didn`t think you would but you have

 

so thank you

now all i need is my money that you owe me???

 

And as you`ve been paid today and i still haven`t heard from you

i`ll take it as your not going to give it back shall i?

 

aM

[aMguilts]

and by the way i love the way you are trying to befriend all of my friends

 

sad

 

aM

[Lillygoose]

Yep, had the really good three days of working out lots, and not thinking about you.

 

And today, has been rubbish.

Barely eaten, couldn't run and just broke down

 

I miss you.

 

so blooooody much

[aMguilts]

money?

hello?

aM

[siamex]

Brand new here...

 

After reading and purusing through countless threads of similar ilk, I have arrived at a sense of ease. This whole NC thing is slowly working but yet I'm still yearning to text the ex and say what's up and that I was sorry for what ruined a relationship.

 

The thing is, I should've seen the signs a few months back as we began to drift a little bit. I mean, my ex is a difficult person to figure out as I'm sure many of us have had experience in that regards. The first half of the year relationship was one of mystery and being persued by her and the other half was almost like 'going through the motions' in which she would pick fights for the most insignificant reasons. Not doing something minute in the right way or even just making a gesture misconstrued as disgust. It was beginning to seem as if she was purposefully deflating the relationship.

 

Now, I have always been able to get out before the ceiling collapsed but this woman did something to me that very few have ever done--and that was steal my heart. I loved for the very first time with unconditional and sublime clarity. I haven't been sure of this before and quite frankly, I am not quite sure how I'm going to get over this. Things are kind of f'd up at the moment as I'm also going through some issues of the legal kind and I miss the support (while she gave it...).

 

It is a lonely existence and one that at this point I'm not quite certain that I'll overcome. It is a dire outlook but one that I'm trying to get over by re-connecting with the things I liked to do prior to being with her. Working out, playing the piano, writing stories, and other hobbies are helping but they can only be done for a finite amount of time. Love is hell of a drug and its withdrawls are just as powerful as any object one can allow to inundate one's soul, mind, and body.

 

Got to keep the NC...she fell out of love with me and I gave her my all x1000...

[na49]

I saw your friend today. He's a fat sh*t. Your boyfriend's going to cheat on you with someone who is older and more attractive than you. How does that feel? I'm sure he's "the one" just like me and all of the other boyfriends you've had were. You're honestly a joke. Paint me as the bad guy to all your friends because anyone with eyes can see I'm the opposite of a tyrant. The minute you get yours will be the minute I'm over your cheating @ss and on to a girl who actually respects me and treats me like a human instead of a possession. A girl who listens to me. but most importantly, a girl who is LOYAL! a girl who doesn't want to see what else is out there even if there's something "different". a girl who is content with me, what I have to offer, who accepts me for me. Every guy you get with is having my sloppy seconds. You're stinking up the college campus already you witch! I could just write about how angry I am with you right now and how much I hate you but I'm not. So I'll end it here. Bye.

 

 

tell us how you really feel right? but oh boy did that feel nice.

[Harradin]

I've been trying to figure out why you chose to end things, and the choice you made for the past few months, it still makes absolutely no sense, you couldn't even answer me face to face when I asked why. But recently I've been starting to give up caring, because I have better things to be working on in my life, my sporting results are insanely good, I'm getting fitter, my body is getting better and better, all done without you.

 

I've been too scared to approach other girls, girls who keep locking eyes with me and trying to talk to me, but I'm been too scared and shy and keep shooting them down and keeping myself enclosed. I don't know why, my heart has already been torn an infinite amount of ways by you, I shouldn't have anything to be afraid of because its happened once, it won't happen again, mark my words.

 

We had so much potential, never felt anything like it, it just worked in so many ways, but not the important ones I guess. I just feel pity for you because you were too stupid and immature to realise it, and when you do, I'll be long gone.

[nada2013]

Baby, I miss you so much.

Edited March 1, 2013 by nada2013

[Minadee]

Hello James.

 

Still not feeling all that good. I see that you've found yourself a new girl to fawn over. I try not to look at your facebook because it really does kill me to see you flirting and being so happy. She's so pretty too, petite and brunette. Whereas I am growing to be the size of a house. You used to tell me that you loved redheads but all of your previous exs were brunette. I was so different to those girls.

 

I feel like I am hindering my own process. A part of me still cries for you and by sleeping with you, it satisfies me, just for a short period of time. I think "He's still attracted to me, he still cuddles me afterwards, he obviously still thinks of me." but all that could be horsesh*t. I realise this now. When it comes down to it, all I am is the ex that he can go and sleep with, and still pursue other girls at the same time, the absolute dream situation for many men, and I allow it to happen, and continue to let it happen because I am terrified of losing the connection I have with you.

 

But it needs to stop. I cannot keep torturing myself like this. The sex is great, really great but it is like a drug, and sooner rather than later I am going to have to say enough is enough, I cannot do this anymore.

 

I had an enormous heart to heart with my mother last night. A LOT of tears were shed. She told me that I was so beautiful and so special to her, that you had the face of a meerkat, the charm of a peanut and were short. (I defended you on these, your meerkat face is cute, you were always more funny than charming, and 5ft 11 isn't that short, is it?) But I know she was trying to make me feel better. She told me she loved me for the first time in so many years, it was a very emotional moment for me. Made me remember that I am not quite so alone in this as I thought.

 

Why do you always message me saying random sh*t? I ignore some of it, but why do you try and contact me constantly? You have so many other females to tend to, why are you still trying to be buddies? I don't want to be buddies J, it's either stay with me for the long run, or nothing at all, there is no inbetween.

 

I will tell you that, eventually.

 

Still loving and missing you, although not quite so much.

 

(Ps, my father wants to go to your house with a shotgun, just a heads up! )

[purplereigncb]

I hate that you have someone else

[nada2013]

........................................

Edited March 2, 2013 by nada2013

[hidden_ua]

hey m!

missing you girl but no reply from your side

 

*missing her and having a headache because of that *

Edited March 2, 2013 by hidden_ua

[purplereigncb]

Really struggling today.... stresful days make me miss you even more. Even though you never cared.

[Yasuandio]

You WILL pony up the dough little Nazi mother trucker. The judge's order's are non-negotiable, you effing idiot. Why you cannot cooperate so I don't have to deal with you is because you are addicted to me - just give me what is mine - you have no choice. You just want a chance to hassle me, and see me. You know the judge is going to make you write that check, and make you pay my legal fees. You just cannot let me go. Stop stalking me ass trucker. Stay out of my neighborhood. Go to your own Starbucks.

[Jesseklaver]

Hi guys,

 

The last couple of weeks I've been reading quite some threads on this forum which have been extremely helpful to me after the break up with me ex.

 

I have had a relationship for three years. Our last year har a lot of ups and downs and she told last month that she needed some time since she was going through a tough time in her life (identity problems due to growing up in between two different cultures). I tried to convince her that the time she needed was unnecessary (only an irrational way of decision making from her side) and I came up with all kinds of arguments and promises that we could work it out (almost begging from my side). I guess this made it even worse and made it easier for her to not give in on her time/space needs.

 

The day after she told me that she needed time/space I read the NC threads on this website and decided to go for and stick to NC.

 

I have been in NC for one month now. I feel much better now than in the first couple of days after the break up (which were quite painful). She called me and texted me quite often last week, but I did not pick up/text back. After the second week in NC I decided that there is no chance for a healthy relationship between us anymore (based on my reflections about the fit between our personalities, ambitions etc.)

 

Now I'm facing the following problem: I know that the upcoming week she will apply for a job she really wants. I have quite some experience in the industry she is applying for and could help her out in preparing for her interviews. But at the same time I am afraid that breaking NC will get me back to that irrational modus where I will start feeling more in stead of thinking.

 

What would you guys do in my situation? Does someone have experienced something similar?

 

Thanks in advance.

[breakmyfall]

15 days of no contact at all, who knew I could actually do this. We had never gone longer than 3 or 4 days before. The first few days I kept expecting you to still message me, but now that hope is gone. I have a feeling I will never hear from you again and it hurts so much.

 

I cried last night and this morning for the first time since we last spoke. I was trying so hard to be strong and keep it together, to stay focused on my new job, try my best to do well. But last night on the train home I started to have random flashbacks of us and things you said to me, 2 months ago you were still saying you loved me, still talking about coming to see me, reuniting, still panicking every time I pulled away. Now it seems you don't care if I'm dead or alive and it kills me. Tears began to flow because i can no longer lie to myself, I'm not doing fine at all. I have a new life in a new city and i should be excited, i should be full of life, should be going out, partying, meeting new people, yet I have no desire to do anything.

 

I wanted to talk to you and share all my feelings with you like i used to, to confess that i wish i wasnt living overseas, that maybe this wasnt the best idea after all, i feel so lonely, the excitement has worn out quickly and i'm not really having a good time. At the same time, i feel like i shouldnt just come back now because that would be quitting, i'd feel like a failure, and you know me, that would bother me forever, so i have to stay for at least 6 more months to make this all worthwhile.

 

I feel like i'm losing you for real, we had such a strong connection, how is this even possible? how is this not killing you too? i dont get it. if you really loved me, you would be here. You'd come visit me then wait for me to come back....what's another 6 months when you love someone? But i guess you dont love me, and that's where the problem is.

 

I'm trying to hate you and get mad at you to make this whole thing easier. So far, it only works at times...i get mad at you for a few hours, then go back to loving you desperately again. I'm a mess.

[nada2013]

dying is easy, its living thats hard. I get that. I mustn't give up, I'm on a tough journey to love myself. I have to be good to myself. I have to learn to be good to myself. I really really want to Return to my first love! Loving God. Please be with me, help me pass through this phase of grief.

[Lonely Guy 09]

Hey D,its me.Yeah the guy you friendzoned.

 

So how are you?Does it feel nice when you do all those things with him huh?I guess so.I wouldnt know.Yeah.Yes,I am jealous of him.Too jealous.But maybe I should be.Why not?I know I am 10 times the guy he is.I am.I know and I can prove it.

 

Your thoughts are driving me insaaaaaaaaane.The pain is infuriating.

 

Recently I have been pushing myself to my limits.When I find my limits,I push harder.If I can do 100 reps which exercising,I try doing 150.When I cant,and I find my muscles tearing down and screaming at me,I say to myself "You are weak,that is why she doesnt like you".And I go further.Every rep I do,I imagine it hurts her bf.And the thought of him suffering,cancels out my pain.Maybe the next day,I cannot walk.But I do.I hurt myself.And I do it further.Sad thing is,I know you dont even care.I am sure you will,when I beat him to a ****ing pulp,and then beat him further,so much that he is gonna be sorry he was ever born.

 

Maybe I am bitter,and a complete psycho,but I have every right to be.After giving so much,so much,and not receiving ANYTHING in return,I have surpassed my boiling point now.I feel there is no going back.You have changed me,I am damaged now.For better or for worse,we will see.You will see.

 

Peace.

Sincerely,the guy you friendzoned,and the guy who deserves you.

[hidden_ua]

hey m!

i guess i wasn't that bad. the problem is, you only see things that you want to (whether i did those or not) and don't see things you don't want to (whether i did those or not). try to understand me girl. i understood and compromised a lot and never made you say sorry to me for anything you did wrong but trust me i loved you then and now no matter what. i, alone can't reconcile all those things. i need a little support from my side but you ain't willing to and implying as if i am the looser. when you broke-up you didn't even told me and vanished for 11 months on NC and that hurt a lot me and that is why i never stopped you because this was the most important thing to us. you were a selfish girl but damn why i can't let you go?!

i messaged you on friday but no reply and today as well but still no reply. i am going to wait a day or two and i wont be here for you then.

p.s girl:- i can't believe you really are trying your best to end things between us which happened to start in 2004.

only 2 days, that is all i am going to wait for then i wont be around you anymore (its not a warning, i am just tired of all this crap)

love you m!

[idontknow98]

*Ring* *Ring*

 

Hi, Katie!

 

You know I really really loved you and cared about you. I know I dumped you and it was the absolute worst mistake I have ever made. I tried to convince you that I really did love you but you just couldn't trust me again. It's truly a shame too..I mean we could have had the best life together. Since you want to be a bitch to me and insult me behind my back and talk **** when you really don't even know how much suffering and self blame I went through after we broke up. I just wanted to let you know that I really wish the best for you. Good luck finding a guy like me who actually respects you when all you had to do was take me back and it would save you a whole lot of trouble and pain.

 

Good riddance!