Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Njeanne]

I know I'll prob be very sad (like many dumpees on here) on valentine's day. If things would have been great between us when you were here for those two weeks, I told myself I would come to your country for Valentine and spend it there for the entire weekend.

 

Who to thought I would be alone at this time, good thing we can't look into the future, we might just end up never leaving our bedrooms.

 

I am doing fine, really I am. Unfortunate I had to look at a picture of you yesterday and that got me crying because I was never going to gaze into this awesome blue eyes from you ever again or see that smile.

 

No worries, It's almost been two months ya know? Time goes quick see. And I am stronger, just crying here and there and prob on Valentine I will. I hope you think off me from time too time, are you missing your cath? I miss mine.

 

I just had to post this...our movie...

I was always your cat (nya) and you were always my little rat (squeak)

 

 

You loved this movie, everytime I linked this you were smiling.

[crimsoncurrent]

After three weeks of NC, passed all the foolish resentment of the situation, and masking my actual emotions by replacing them with anger, I'm simply missing my ex so badly. I'm remembering all our little silly behaviors together. For instance, we would have this great Russian accent that made me laugh everytime. I miss our thoughtful conversations. I just want to talk with her.

[purpledust]

you ended things up, i'm trying to move on but you keep sending me bread crumbs. pls stop cause it made me hate you and missing u more at the same time.

[Jingle14]

There is indeed a fine line between love and hate. I have done such a good job that all my friends and family are absolutely convinced I hate you (I almost convince myself sometimes!) - I threw my phone down in irritation last week, after getting a text from someone I find intensely annoying and was asked if the text was from you (I wish, but why would it be?!). They are so sure that I would be livid if you contacted me - they have no idea that's all I want, some form of communication to acknowledge that you remember I still exist, to hear from you again. But it seems you have vanished off the face of the earth, despite living 5 minutes from me. I rarely see your car at your parents now either, and you know I have to drive past whenever I leave my house, no other route for me. You always used to be there so often, I knew your routine and it never deviated. Are you spending the time with that bitch now? You weren't so free with your time for me. Are you as selfish with 'her' as you were with me though - surely a leopard doesnt change its spots, I didn't make you into a selfish person.

 

Yet again, I dreamt of you last night, very vividly. That's 3 times this week. In it, I was leaving a train station and glanced around when a tall, dark, slim man caught my eye (as they always do in real life, for a split second I think it's you). I turned round again and it was you, standing right behind me. We talked and walked together, you held my hand and then put your arm around me as we walked along - and it was as comforting and natural as it always was (remember you told me, and meant it, 'we fit together' when we last spent a night together? And yet a week later you were with someone else while I was waiting for you to let me know if you were giving 'us' another chance, how cruel to give me false hope when you knew how much I loved you). In the dream, you smiled at me warmly, spoke kindly, friendly, I had unstoppable tears running down my face. You said 'so I'm able to like lots of other people but you can only like me?'. And then my alarm went and woke me, but it's true, I don't 'like' anyone else, you are my 'one' for all your flaws. And I still feel shaken by the dream, as I woke feeling as though I had been in your arms (and I can, as clearly as if you had just left the room even though it's well over a year and a half since we woke together and 8 months since our hour long hug, when you had to close your eyes because it was clearly too difficult and uncomfortable to look into mine). And I am now desperate to hear from you, to see and hold you, to be held by you, to be in your sunny kitchen while you make me breakfast to take back up to bed and lie in each other's arms for hours as we always used to. I was never happier than when I was lying in your arms. And now the tears are falling down my face in real life. I miss you so much, my love.

 

Will you remember it's my birthday next week - on bastard Valentine's Day! - or will you be too busy spoiling that boring and dull bitch who replaced me? I long and pray to hear from you on my birthday. I know I'll be disappointed. I know you would have been expecting to get a text from me over Christmas or New Year, especially after I caved in at Halloween - the anniversary of that weekend together - and texted you a reminiscence. You never replied. I didn't contact you though, I wonder if that made you feel anything, other than relief at the thought 'thank God she's finally gone!'. That's if you thought of me at all, but I could always read you like a book - and you knew I could, that was our joke - and I'm pretty sure my non contact would have been a surprise, maybe a dent to your ego.

 

I've thought of you a lot recently, feeling a mixture of sadness, bitterness and anger, loss, longing. I miss you, we had such fun and laughed so much and I miss how close we once were. We'd never felt as close to anyone else before, despite our having been in long term (but unhappy) relationships previously. I left my husband for you, and he is a good man, he would not have walked away when it got difficult at times had I left you for him. Through thick and thin it should have been, but you couldn't do that for me. I've felt such anger and bitterness remembering how, towards the end of our time together, I took you for afternoon tea and Champagne at a beautiful, grand stately home. Afterwards, we walked around the grounds and you deliberately put your hand in your pocket so that I couldn't hold it. That wounded me. And my reward for taking you there was taking me to the local supermarket cafe the next morning for breakfast, some £2 effort. That's how little I meant, how little you valued me. What a difference to our early time together, going away to cottages and curling up with Champagne by the fire together. I did spoil you though - when you told me your ex never had, never given compliments, I was aghast and went out of my way to make up for that, to let you know how much I valued you and how special you were to me. You told me the surprise holiday I took you on for your birthday was the nicest and best thing anyone had ever done for you. And yet 2 months later, 8 weeks after lying on that beautiful beach together so happy, you dumped me.

 

We had so much going for us, why did you let it go so easily? We could have taken on the world together. Please, T, make my life complete and contact me on my birthday, let me know you are thinking of me. Come back to me.

Edited February 6, 2013 by Jingle14

[Ladybugz]

Oh, Hi R. I see you have a pot belly now ..

 

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaahahahahahahahaahhahaahhahahaaaahahaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[PinkSapphire]

So, I woke up yesterday feeling no desire to contact you at all. I no longer want you back, I no longer miss you, and I have no desire to say any last words or any "closure" or any strongly worded "don't contact me again" messages. Instead, I am confident that when I see you tonight, I will just turn away and ignore you, feeling absolutely nothing.

 

It has taken over a year to get to this point, but I am finally here and it is great! I completely don't care what you think anymore, how you are acting, who you are flirting with....I don't want you back at all.

 

It feels like such a victory, but yet so immature and naive to actually write it down. No matter. I had to celebrate for myself, in a way telling myself this is how it is so that my brain continues to feel this way. After all of the hurt, all of the back-and-forth, the massive pain; I am finally done. I can't feel for you anymore because of all we have been through.

 

I am so happy to finally not love you anymore and not feel sad or disappointed when you haven't called. It is so free

 

I am not sure when, or even if, I will feel the need to unfriend you from fb. You never post anyway and i just don't care anymore. I suppose a pre-emptive strike before I see pics of you with someone new would prevent the hurt that will bring, as well as the inevitable day when our pics become untagged or taken down altogether. Me? I just leave those things up because I don't want to look at them again, and that is energy put to something I want out of my life. Thank you for taking the honors on that one

 

So, the etiquette thing? idk, but I will be ignoring you in person for awhile. Sorry about that, since it may be a surprise, but certainly not one you didn't see coming.

[tory1012]

Me and my ex broke up a year ago now. He lost interest and has told me time and time again that he still isn't interested. As per usual I hold onto false hopes with him. I have tried so many times the no contact thing however it just never seems to work. We have slept together every week for the last 12 months. He has been with other people and so have I, but i'm sick of feeling consumed and sad about him. I really want to stop contact, but it feels impossible? Please help? Why is he still seeing me if he's not interested????

 

Thanks

[Minadee]

Cannot stop crying today. Why are you doing this to me?

[geegirl]

Why is he still seeing me if he's not interested????

 

Thanks

 

Easy sex and a great boost to his ego. It's certainly not love since he is not interested.

 

Stop giving him the honey hoping he'll change his mind. Men can separate sex from love. It's just sex.

[Jingle14]

Easy sex and a great boost to his ego. It's certainly not love since he is not interested.

 

Stop giving him the honey hoping he'll change his mind. Men can separate sex from love. It's just sex.

 

Very sadly, this is true. I did it for a week - 3 months after we split up - and hoped it would help to change his mind. It didn't and I ended up feeling hurt, used and worthless. And a week later he started seeing someone else anyway, so he must have had his eye on her while he was banging me (blunt but that's all it was, to him anyway but not to me). Unfortunately, the whole experience really changed me, and I have since had sex with several people whom I knew but wasn't attracted to, just to prove I could. I know for 2 of them it was far more than casual sex but I was very cold about it and, to my shame, their feelings didn't enter my head. I became very cold and selfish as a result of that particular week of 'friends with so called benefits' with my ex. I don't do it now, it was just a phase when my head and emotions were in pieces.

[J-B]

you showed me what was possible

now I can't accept anything less

still want to share so much with you

I'll never forget

[CopingGal]

Why is he still seeing me if he's not interested????

 

 

 

Because he can. Drop this jackass. You never will be able to have a good relationship with someone else if you keep holding on. Seriously. Stop all contact with him. It's that simple. It may hurt like hell for 8 months at least, but 15 months from now you'll realize you did the right thing.

[CopingGal]

Hey wierdo,

 

I left town quite a while ago. Now I never have to look at your stupid, putrid, disgusting mug again. I'm so glad.

 

I still feel sorry for you because you are a pathetic jackass. I'm just glad I don't have to run into you any more. I'm glad I never have to smell your musty, funky arm pits anymore. But most of all, I'm glad I never have to see your lying, cock-eyed, slutty, stupid face again.

[JourneyLady]

I'm not about to say I still love you. Because I know it won't work between us. You made your choices and now what's happening is the things I foresaw and tried to save you from... might have saved you from if you hadn't kept me so busy with your dramas, anger and distraction.

 

I went to school motivated by the thought that if I was out there earning money, we could be together unhampered by my alimony. I did finish. I did do well. But you did so good at undermining my self-esteem in the two years that followed, I am more uncomfortable with people, particularly men, than I have ever been since I was 15 or so. That makes it hard to put on a good face and get a job - particularly in this economy. Oh, I will though - once I move to where you will not be. But now you're in a big financial hole that you could have saved yourself from if you hadn't been so superficial and had been more supportive, and stopped looking for greener grass. Now you've got no grass at all!

 

It's particularly annoying to remember the times we were going to "date" and you just -had- to mention how being near me made you hard. It's true I gave into my own desires then, but remembering that's mostly what you value is a real turn-off to me now. Especially when we meet to get closure, successfully do not sleep together and yet you want to tell me how some horny chick out of prison is trying to throw herself at you. I can see the clear manipulation you're pulling and it's another turn off. Sex and attraction is powerful, but you use it to try to manipulate. I begin to think it was no mistake how you touched my hands the way you did the day we met. I think it's a "technique" learned and used by your manipulative self.

 

You'll never be my idealized image of your, or even your own idealized image of yourself. You now play victim, where it is you that has frittered away five years depleting your health, your resources and your time. And mine as well. I will recover - I have the ability. Maybe some of those ex-girlfriends and wanna be girlfriends you keep in contact with will take you on when you return to where you want to be. Not me though.

 

Enjoy the time you've got, because I see you ending up like your dad. Bedridden and resulting to all the porn you can have, because you aren't an attractive proposition to a real live woman any more.

 

See ya.

PS. I'm being your friend for now, as you requested - but will go NC as soon as I find someone else, believe me!

[Minadee]

Wish I could stop dreaming about you... would make things a lot easier.

[justinje]

I wish I was crawling into bed with u tonight. I wish we were still together. I wish I could open the door to ur apartment like I used to, walk into ur bedroom with u lying there and crawl in next to you. Wrapping u up in my arms to the sound of "hey baby how was ur night" I wish all these things but they won't come true........

[JourneyLady]

UGH! So you talk about how much "grief" you have - but you're really out there spending time with other women. See what you don't know is that if you had kept to yourself, if you had acted like it was just me you missed, and if you had wanted to go through the program with me, you had a good chance of getting back with me.

 

Instead though - you keep mentioning how much grief you have to deal with. But you couldn't wait to get out and around other women. You're not fooling me -- you are just lonely and looking for someone to bed again. And that means you don't have a chance to get me back because you're giving it up. I wasn't special to you, the way you were to me. Do you see me socializing right away? No. I'm involved in my life and doing what I know I have to do, but I'm not out there perusing for a bed partner right off the bat.

 

Yeah, you want to be friends just to manipulate and pull my strings. Well you know what? The more you get out there with other women, the more I am going to withdraw from you and not be friends. In fact, I am determined to do all the things I have to do *without* your help. You volunteered just to keep close to me and I know that. I'm not going to let you near me. You'll just use me again. Now you are looking for someone else to rent. I'm pretty sure you're a Narcissist. I keep hoping I'm wrong but your inconsistent attitude kinda shows I'm right about that.

 

You're leaving there and I'm going to be moving there. You're dirtying my future pool of friends and I don't like it. It'll be too embarrassing to try and socialize around other women you've been to bed with or told -your- version of things -- so don't be surprised if I decide to go somewhere else. I have contingency plans. And I will disappear from your life completely - count on it. The more you are out there looking, the less I will talk to you.

 

Because I know I was the best thing in your life - the most generous hearted, the one who tried to help you the most, the one who loved you the best. But no, you had to blow me off with those actions. You'll figure that out when I'm gone and you'll end up a lonely old man.

[NoLeafClover]

been about 10 weeks of NC and have been doing great.

 

...today however...I have missed you a lot, a lot, A LOT.

[Treasa]

Dear, um....crap, I have to think about your name to remember it nowadays.

 

Anyway, thank you for being horrible to me and showing me what I'll never put up with again. My new boyfriend (by the way, thank you for introducing me to him) is AWESOME, especially in comparison to you.

 

If he and I get married I'll totally send you an invitation to the wedding. Well, no, I probably won't. But I'll always be grateful!

[iouaname]

Every time you call, I want to answer, but I don't because I know that nothing is changing about the situation. It kills me to ignore you.

 

I hate the reasons that we broke up. I hate the mindset that you're in. I wish you were the guy you used to be, not this miserable and confused version that you are now...

[bitterruin]

Things are so much better now. Every song I hear doesn't remind me of you, my heart doesn't flutter every time I hear your name, and when people ask me about you I don't feel like our breakup is a forbidden topic cause it causes too much pain. I know I'm completely over you, or at least well on my way to being completely over you.

This doesn't mean I don't still care about you, I do. I can even say I still love you, it's not the same kind of love I felt before, it's something smaller I guess, but it's still there. I still worry about you and wish for you to be part of my life but I'm not comfortable enough letting you back in just yet, I don't think enough time has passed that I can say we can be friends.

I've finally allowed myself to date and I think I met someone really special. It's Max. I know you'd be happy that I'm finally happy again but you probably wouldn't understand why it's Max. I just hope you know I'm not doing this to hurt you, it just happened and I had no control over it, I'm also not going to stop seeing him just because you dated him after we broke up, I'm not doing this for you, I really enjoy spending time with the guy and though we're taking things really slow at the moment I think he's someone I can be in a relationship with in the future.

I don't want you to be hurt when you find out about it because I still care about you and the last thing I want to do is hurt you, but I hope that one day you can be happy for me. I know I'll be happy when I hear that you're happy too.

[Phanpooh]

21/12/12 isn't the end of world but my birthday wish was that, you r happy ever. So then,you could live no regret, no anger, no resentment, no jealous... No trying to get back. When you left, i was falling to worst place, but halleluja, i enjoyed. So when i'm in my way to the best, please don't tell me i worth it. Cause that suck to see you there, somebody i used to know.

Remember the story i told ya? After that angel falling in my arm, she keep flying around to enjoy her new world. Time by time, she travel everywhere and her wings just turned darker than. And when they're completely black, they look like a shadow. Then that angel become a real person, has nothing but new name! At least, that name is nice even nobody call it. And again, what your name?

[bitterruin]

I guess you saw Max and I together since ou magically have more of my things to give me. It's like every three weeks you have some excuse to come back to me, well I'm sick of this dance we've been doing for far too long, and I told you in my email that I'll pick it up Saturday, I'm going to warn you once I see you but next time you find more of my things just throw then otherwise the next message I get from you will result in a no contact order.

[Harradin]

I don't really know why, but I miss you. You made such a short portion of my life so amazing, yet its long gone now which is awful.

 

Oh btw, I would have treated you to an amazing Valentine's Day tomorrow, I know you would have wanted to celebrate it. I bet he just throws a lot of money at you, where as I would have done it properly with meaning, hand made cards, nice dinner etc etc. You missed out so badly.

[Jingle14]

My darling love of my life, please make my birthday wish for tomorrow come true and come back to me. I'll never replace you, you have my heart - not that you want it or even know - forever.