Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[CopingGal]

I saw you today. I didn't cry at all.

[CopingGal]

I barely slept last night. I'm very hurt and I'm sad. I stayed up all night thinking about how you hurt me. But I can't concern myself with you. I can't keep thinking about all the terrible things you did to me 24/7. I've come so far; I can't go back there again.

 

I can be happy that you are back together with her and hope that you two have a long relationship. After all, I can't think of anyone who deserves second-hand smoke and being cheated on more than you do. Fortunately for you, you are with a woman who will provide you with all of that and more.

[KidWeeknd]

I still think about you. Even though you used me in the months after the breakup to get over us I still would have tried to get back with you. I hope one day you realize what that year did to me. I don't wish any ill and your new relationship though. All I plan on doing is focusing on my life and cut myself off from yours. And whatever happens, happens

 

Bye baby

Edited October 15, 2012 by KidWeeknd
To paraphrase long story

[CopingGal]

Seeing you the other day with the woman you cheated on me with and relentlessly threw in my face...for whatever reason your sociopathic-narcississtic mind came up with...made me realize I need to move away. I've been trying to move out of here for a very long time but seeing you lit a fire under me to make it happen much sooner.

 

I won't be here any more to keep reliving the nightmare you put me through every time I see you. I'm leaving town. I'm leaving you behind. I look forward to being in a situation where I never have to see your deceptive face again.

[brokenheart415]

You said you really loved me... but you couldn't handle you're own little world of jealousy... I cannot function correctly if I cannot interact with other human beings especially other women... for the record I never cheated though you almost pushed me to the point where I felt like I wanted to... but something always told me to not do it. I knew you made friends with males so much easier, and yes most of your friends are guys. You knew that I trusted you every-time you attempted to make a new guy friend... before I used to get so jealous but you've convinced me that you get along with guys more, and for me to make friends with a female is not the same because guys can develop feelings for the female where as you can control them... BULL CRAP! I GAVE YOU SO MUCH TRUST WITH OTHER GUYS, YOU COULD'NT GIVE ME THE LIGHT OF DAY WITH ANOTHER FEMALE FRIEND... and yet I still care so much about you and think about you 24/7... GET OFF THAT PEDESTAL, you REALLY DON'T DESERVE BEING THERE... I gave you a home, when you had no where to live... you got kicked out of your place and didn't have a freaking job... I TOOK YOU IN AND CARED FOR YOU, COOKED FOR YOU, PACKED YOU LUNCH, PUT IN MORE EFFORT DURING OUR LAST MONTHS TOGETHER DESPITE OUR ROUGH PAST, I WAS THE ONE THAT GAVE YOU THAT SECOND CHANCE, NOT YOU... you wanted to marry me but deep inside I was still holding off that idea, so many times I questioned your unconditional love... DID YOU REALLY LOVE ME NO MATTER WHAT THE **** HAPPENS? NOPE. ... so you've gotten a job which was first offered to me, but I let you have it because I was already happy and successful where I was at, but guess what YOU MET A NEW MALE CO-WORKER FRIEND WHO IS NOW YOU'RE SEX BUDDY/LOVER... bang me the day after you left me then bang him the very next morning... I gave you a freaking second chance when you were at you're last string with me... you made me love you more when we gave our love a final go at it although I was always limiting my true love for you because I wasn't sure if you really deserve it... I didn't take you for granted, you took my trust for granted, and found someone apparently better... really, is he better? He looks like a creature from space, with those gigantic ears and no neck, and I'm pretty sure he's going to look like a raisin when he gets older. All the love that you've given me... I was thankful for that, and I was happy being with you, but happiness has to be mutual, I can't always be your slave. My mom was psychic, she told me, "Be careful, she might leave you someday for a better man with more money and features..." You are a fool for leaving me, I stuck with you for so many years and fought so hard for our love, and we almost made it. It's okay, have your quarter-life crisis fun with that creature who you think is so respectful and charming... HE BANGED YOU AFTER YOU BANGED ME, RESPECTFUL? NO. HE KNEW YOU WERE WITH SOMEONE YET HE CONVINCED YOU TO EMOTIONALLY CHEAT... if you somehow stumble across this posting, you're probably going to get mad... its cool, you're already mad at me, its helping you move on and forget me... you're getting under him to help you forget me... it's probably working for you, but guess what I'm so nice I'll help you out here, I'm vanishing into thin air, you won't ever see or hear from me again. You've already blocked me saying I'm too crazy right now.. you made me crazy, why would you keep fighting to keep us together and made me love you more? This love was fake, you had you're own secret intentions to leave me for another man. Don't ever bull crap me again, you won't anyways, I won't ever be around again. Good luck with that ugly creature from space you think is hot because you think he's Hawaiian Pacific Islander when he's just nothing more than a rice eater Asian like you and I. Good luck dealing with your own trust issue/jealousy problem you have, and your possessiveness. What goes around comes around, hurt someone and that pain will come back around to haunt you, I've seen it happen so many times in life, karma is a b*tch. I might be in pain right now so excuse my language, what I say right now is what it is. I'll come back and laugh at all this when this whole ordeal is over.

[lakerman34]

V,

 

I love you, you love me, why does this have to be so difficult? Your best friend told me I need to talk to you because you have feelings for me, but you are too proud to come to me. She was very drunk, and I know you're very proud, but why must your pride get in the way of us? I want to SO BAD go and talk to you, see if we can patch things up, but YOU dumped ME. I can't talk to you right now. I'm trying to move on. It made me so happy to hear that from your friend, but at the same time, it sucks to know that my hands are tied. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE swallow that pride and lets go back to when we first met, when that magic happened, because you and I both know that we were meant for each other. Please, just check your pride. PLEASE!

[not-a-drive-by]

Memories of us haunts me everyday. Although they are good memories, they always bring about a pang of pain in my heart, knowing that it's all in the past and we may never experience these memories together ever again. I know I shouldn't be driving by your house but I can't resist it. I've noticed your car is no longer home - are you out? or have you moved? I was driving home and started wondering - does your mum still give you sh*t for letting me go? Do your relatives give you sh*t? Does your nieces remember me and ask where I am?

 

I hope you wake up one day and regret your decision. That you regret it enough to come back to me. Still missing you, H.

[CopingGal]

Today I reminded myself that part of your forebrain does not work correctly. It helps to keep that in mind. I try to explain to my roommate how sick you are, but he continues to hate you...esp. because I'm leaving town more quickly than I planned to. My roommate is the kindest person in the world, yet he hates you. That's the kind of talent you have.

 

I can't wait to get away from you. I just can't wait.

[sweetkiwi]

w - god i miss you every single day. I look for your qualities in every man i date. I only want you. But i know i don't deserve your love, and everytime we tried to make it together i ****ed it up. I feel like i ruined my only chance for that kind of love with another human. A love i miss and desire and pray for.

 

You convinced yourself you hate me and you should hate me, but i know you don't. I know you have to move on. There are a million girls out there who will treat you better. I'm sorry i don't know how to love you the way you need. I forgot somehow in the first three years we were together. I wish there was a restart button so i could i back and be deserving and right for you again. I love you.

[lakerman34]

V-

 

I know you hate when I say this, but it's the truth: you chose Greek Life over me. You're young, stupid, and some day will see that you made a big mistake. I won't be around to see that mistake, unfortunately, because after 2 months, you and I will never see nor hear from each other again.

 

We can make this last forever. The ball is in your court. Swallow that pride. For me, the one you love. For us.

[h-e-l-p]

Why are you so foolish and naive?? Just follow your heart and Ill do the same.

[radishes]

Why is it that I can't forget you and let you go? I find myself being obsessive, maybe because I'm trying to fill that spot in my heart that you left. I don't have many guy friends which is a good thing right now, but the one that I do have, i've been thinking... maybe I only have a crush on him because I'm trying to let go of these feelings I have for you. I hate that you mean so much to me, that seeing your face reminds me of everything that's happened. Seeing your smile reminds me of how much I liked it. I loved your smile and the way it made your eyes squint, i loved your laugh. I loved your hands, your shoulders, your chest. Every part of you I could get my hands on. And at the same time I love your humor, your easy going ways, your charisma with others, and how you always let your guard down when I was around.

 

And knowing this. I don't want to misplace my object of affection when my wound is still yet so new. I don't want to know these reasons of why I loved you. I just want my brain and heart to know how much you were stomped on. How you were stifled because he couldn't listen and never asked. How you were always not a priority, how you always felt less important. How you are not right for me, because you don't ever think about me. I'm always taken for granted, and you didn't bother with any effort. YOU WILL NEVER BE RIGHT FOR ME. so please stay away. I can't see you. man I've been so tired lately, just because i can't get enough sleep because of you. Leave me be.

 

Each day I'm just trying to get by, because each day feels like a year's worth of time.

[CopingGal]

I had a huge, huge crying fit a few days ago. This morning I thought about how controlling you are on so many levels. It all came back to me....the big things and the little things you tried to control.

 

You appreciate women who aren't too bright. That is why you chose the one you are with now. It would be funny if it were not so pathetic.

 

F you

[NavyAirTraffic]

I write here all of the time but I never submit my post.

[CopingGal]

I write here all of the time but I never submit my post.

 

 

Well, get to posting, darling.

[CopingGal]

When I saw you in the store, I saw that hag of yours riding around the store with a stupid look on her face. She looked just like a witch riding on a broom. I figured out why you two fit so well. You do better with selfish, stupid, weak-minded, highly ignorant women. Your hag is all of that and more. You do well with her because you scraped the bottom of the barrel to find her. You didn't have to go far because you were already at the bottom of the barrel and still are.

 

You pretended to want to be with an intelligent, savy, and compassionate woman. It was all an act. The women in your life that you have stuck with have been mean, nasty, hags. You are a selfish, controlling bastard. It's only natural that you would do quite well with weak-minded women.

 

I'm glad she's a smoker. You deserve all the second-hand smoke you can handle. Loser.

[not-a-drive-by]

It's been 40 days since I last contacted you. 40 days of silence. Maybe the only way to get over you, is to treat you as though you have died. Maybe only then will I stop hoping that one day, you will want to come back to me .

[Jingle14]

I can’t bear to think of you being happy, being happy without me, with someone else. Do you think of me? It’s strange to think when you are constantly in my mind that I might never be in yours. Why did you tell me that ‘we fit together’ – and it was from the heart, spontaneous and genuine, I could always tell when you were being truthful and I know you meant that – but still decide that you didn’t want to be with me, not ‘want to try again’, and then cruelly take up with someone else within 2 weeks? Do you and her ‘fit together’ – somehow I very much doubt it, you and I had that one in a million physical connection and you knew it as well as I did. Do you remember when we had what we later described as a ‘spiritual’ experience, just sitting together in that bar, the weirdest feeling between us, unspoken at the time but we commented on it later as it was like nothing we had ever known?

 

Why did you stay with her all those years but get rid of me in 10 months? You told me – and I knew from my own dealings with her long before you and I got together, after she, irony of ironies, ended things – that she was dull, boring, selfish, thick, no views or opinions. You told me you were attracted to me from our first meeting - when I had no idea you had even noticed me but, not only had you noticed me, you told me I was a ‘vision’ and ‘time stood still, you were surrounded by lights and I was unaware of anything else after that’, I was shocked to hear that – because I was the complete opposite of her. But you gave her everything, anything she wanted – a bigger house, bigger car, marriage and a child, even if you didn’t want them - she got. What did you get in return? Nothing, well nothing apart from being taken for granted, no love or affection, no support, no little gifts. What did you get from me though? Everything, that’s what but you didn’t give me an inch. When I found out, after you were overwhelmed when I bought you a little gift for the first time, that no-one had ever done that for you, never bought a spontaneous gift, I showered you with things. You loved them at first, and I was thrilled to see how overjoyed you were with my gestures. You quickly took me for granted though, told my friend ‘she tries too hard’. That was not my intention. I wanted an equal partner – something I had never had before, same as you – someone to stand shoulder to shoulder through the trials and tribulations of life, to support, love, have fun with, to share life with. You said that’s what you wanted to.

 

Why was she better than me? She treated you like dirt, her final blow being telling you she had never loved you (and you don’t know I saw that journal you wrote but I did), that she’d had a 3 year affair. And yet you stayed with her, for the sake of your daughter’s ‘family unit’. She humiliated you and you, in turn, humiliated me. But I would never, ever have looked at another man while with you, you had my unconditional love for life but didn’t want it. I told you every day how much I loved you, and my actions spoke as loudly as my words. I will never understand why she, and the person you are now with, are better people to be with than me. What is so wrong with me? Because surely there must be something wrong when you were so infatuated with me and I was your fantasy for 3 years, you got me, had me fall in love with you, lavish you with all the love and affection you could ever have dreamed off, told me that you didn’t realise how terrible things had been with ‘her’ before you saw how wonderful things could be but then bailed and found someone else

 

I will never, ever trust my heart with anyone else. How could I, a naturally guarded and cynical person, the ‘Ice Queen’ as all my friends joke I am (and I was, and am again now), let down my guard and allowed you in, let you get closer to me than even my ex husband – the father of my son – ever got in the 23 years I was with him. You told me you had never been closer to anyone either, although your only relationship experience was with ‘her’, hardly a good blueprint for a mature, adult relationship. I loved you, T, why would you be so cruel. I didn't deserve it.

Edited October 18, 2012 by Jingle14

[Perpetually Learning]

Just in case you come back since you did mention you needed to "distance yourself for a little" (whatever that truly means)

 

"You will learn that you only ever want to fall in love with someone who will stay up to watch the sunrise with you."

 

Or in Marylin Monroe's words: "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

 

Sweet how you come along my life and put on this mask of patience and understanding, just to snatch the rug from under my feet and leave me hanging half-way through. Then you have the audacity to tell me in a pitying tone that "this doesn't mean we won't ever talk again". F*ck you, Narcissus. Who said I need you or need some string of hope to hold onto? If there's anything I've learned it's that I don't need your promises.

 

If I could offer you one piece of advice—and I can't because you don't listen to anyone but yourself—it would be to get off your damn high horse. You are not a spiritual sage, you're just like the rest of us. We're all at different stages of development but fundamentally we're all the same and you're foolish and the furthest thing from wise or insightful for not seeing that. Quit looking down on people, you are nothing special. You are not the messiah you think you are that was purposefully put here to save humanity. Funny how even the most liberal people can fall into their own dogma. "My way or the highway"—f*ck off. We all have our own paths, our own healing times, and people achieve their own sense of self-awareness and consciousness through their own means, not the path you egotistically think everyone should take.

 

I have looked down on myself for far too long to then open up to someone and have them look down on me as well. I can't say "f*ck you" enough. Just because I was open to you about my weaknesses and my fears doesn't mean that I don't have strengths or that I have to be looked down on or seen as less "spiritually developed". F*ck you. Keep lying to yourself and telling yourself that you're more spiritually conscious than the rest of us and that you're some sort of gift to humanity. NOBODY is perfect. Something every real sage has that you lack terribly is understanding. You need to realize that you're just like the rest of us before you dub yourself as some kind of Buddha. F*cking stupid.

Edited October 18, 2012 by Perpetually Learning

[CopingGal]

I'm feeling better today. I'm feeling stronger today. I realize why you fell so incredible hard for this woman.

 

She is weak-minded and ignorant and won't question you when you try to explain some type of concept or natural occurrence like I did. She doesn't do research and then prove your information wrong, like I did.

 

I never set out to hurt you by doing that. I tried to explain over and over again...you would bring up some topic that I wanted to learn more about, so I researched. Or you said something about a topic I was familiar with, but what you said didn't sound right to me so I researched it.

 

Either way, it was not meant to make you feel tiny.

 

With her, your heart soars. You can say all the incorrect things you want and she'll never question you because she is too ignorant and weak-minded to think that you just may be wrong.

 

She is a wonderful candidate to be under your control for a lifetime.

 

That is why you are so taken with her. Her ignorance is so high to the point she trusted you completely from the very beginning...a man she just met over the internet.

 

I'm smart and I'm strong and you couldn't handle it. You only pretended to. Deep down inside you resented me because I didn't trust you. And the more lies you told, the less I trusted you. You thought it was wrong. You thought that no matter how many lies you told me, that I should trust you completely and it offended you that I did not.

 

Anyone who tells lies constantly to a person and then expects that person to trust them completely is an idiot.

 

So there you have it. You're an idiot, and she's a weak-minded fool. A wonderful match to behold.

[ladyabstrused]

I wish you didn't just go missing with my stuff. I want them back. I need them back. How could you be such a jerk like that. It's the least you can do after all the abuse. Why do you do this to me?

[Jingle14]

So it's Friday lunchtime. And it's autumn, as it was when we first got together. Do you remember coming to meet me every Friday lunchtime and we would go to the hotel where we first kissed - which was a total shock, I had no clue then of your 'infatuation' with me, that I was your 'fantasy' - 2 years before you and I became 'us'? I'd sit at my desk, butterflies in my stomach, just willing for your car to come down the driveway and when it did I would rush out to see your beaming smile then straight into your arms for a loving, welcoming embrace. In your arms, the world felt right, I was 'complete' - when we weren't together, it was like something was missing, like my arm had been cut off.

 

We'd sit in the bar at the hotel looking into each others eyes - we always joked we'd end up getting thrown out! - and inevitably ended up all over each other, we could not believe we were, finally, a couple. What on Earth must we have looked like, in our 40's but acting like teenagers, completely out of character for us as individuals but perfectly normal for 'us'? We didn't care though, we were in our own world and we were the only ones in it. My hour lunchbreak was never enough, so we'd often meet after work, exchanging 'count down' message all morning and afternoon, we couldn't bear to be apart, to tear ourselves away from each other.

 

I miss you so much, especially on a Friday. I yearn to be back in the hotel bar to see you gazing into my eyes, your eyes so full of love, warmth, affection and adoration - where did that all go?? It's so strange, odd and wrong that I don't know what you are doing right now, even though you are probably at your office, or your house - are you still there? - less than 5 minutes drive from my home, where I am now. Or are you at your parents house, less than a 5 minute walk away from me? Do you remember taking me there to officially meet them, proudly holding my hand (something you told me they had never seen you do before, you didn't go in for affection like that with your ex). You were shocked that your mum gave me a hug and a kiss when we left - again, this was not usual behaviour for her but she could tell how much I adored her son and how happy I made you. They liked me, you told me but I could tell myself - sitting around the dinner table at the Christmas Eve party and your mum, smiling broadly and approvingly, looking thrilled, telling me 'he'd do anything for you'. Your mum told me 'it's wonderful he has someone at last who cares for him' - that witch ex of yours never did, she told you that, she said she'd never loved you - and often said how considerate I was, commented on your new clothes, the ones I helped you choose as you didn't have the confidence in yourself before to bother. She noticed, as did your brother and sister-in-law, the feminine touches I introduced to your home - as you asked me to, to make it more homely for when your daughter came round - and how your Christmas gifts to them were chosen with thought and beautifully wrapped, they knew who was the influence. I cared for you and wanted only your happiness, they knew that. I wonder what they thought, or said - if anything, your family isn't big on communication, much preferring to brush things under the carpet - when you said you had dumped me? I wonder if they approved, what reasons you gave them for walking away from someone who had sacrified so much to be with you, who loved and adored you and who treated you like royalty when my predecessor had be exactly the opposite and only took from you, treated you appallingly and just wanted your money, not you. I didn't care about your money - not that you had any with me, while paying hefty legal bills for the divorce she instigated when you had served your purpose - as you will remember, if you aren't too ashamed to admit it, I very often paid, even though you earn 4 times what I do.

 

It's like you never existed. It's like you don't exist now. But I'm staying home today just in case I see signs of evidence that you do, such as your car at your parents or driving past, this isn't a day I can deal with that at all.

Edited October 19, 2012 by Jingle14

[Perpetually Learning]

I just...

 

You didn't have the impact on me you think you had and that really bugs me. The fact that you have this narcissistic belief in your head that you just came into my life to "teach me something" and that all this is part of some cosmic plan first of all, is a ridiculous notion, and second of all, as someone who has been struggling to heal from the past and has been on an INCREDIBLY solitary and personal journey, it's very degrading to me that you're taking credit for the PERSONAL work I've been been busting my *ss on. Grow up, I didn't need you to come into my life to "teach me something", everything you think you were "teaching" me I was learning on my own—you just happened to be there. My personal journey of growth, development, healing and recovery is MY OWN. Healing, happiness, acceptance and all those other wonderful feelings come from within—always. There is not exception. These are extremely personal feelings and based completely on the individual. Get off your f*cking high horse. What I needed was someone loyal to know me, understand me, and support me in a nonjudgmental way and you had that mask on for a while—until you got tired. Admit that you left because you were unsatisfied, not because there's some hidden, underlying spiritual meaning behind all of this. That's all I want: accountability.

[NoMoreJerks]

I don't need you. Now you are just "somebody that I used to know".

[CopingGal]

I just...

 

You didn't have the impact on me you think you had and that really bugs me. The fact that you have this narcissistic belief in your head that you just came into my life to "teach me something" and that all this is part of some cosmic plan first of all, is a ridiculous notion, and second of all, as someone who has been struggling to heal from the past and has been on an INCREDIBLY solitary and personal journey, it's very degrading to me that you're taking credit for the PERSONAL work I've been been busting my *ss on. Grow up, I didn't need you to come into my life to "teach me something", everything you think you were "teaching" me I was learning on my own—you just happened to be there. My personal journey of growth, development, healing and recovery is MY OWN. Healing, happiness, acceptance and all those other wonderful feelings come from within—always. There is not exception. These are extremely personal feelings and based completely on the individual. Get off your f*cking high horse. What I needed was someone loyal to know me, understand me, and support me in a nonjudgmental way and you had that mask on for a while—until you got tired. Admit that you left because you were unsatisfied, not because there's some hidden, underlying spiritual meaning behind all of this. That's all I want: accountability.

 

Don't hold your breath. Some people never take responsibility for the hurt they cause others.