Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Throldur]

L,

 

I dreamed of you. I dreamed that I was washing the stems of the roses I cut off for you. Those same roses I planned on cutting the night I would eventually propose to you. You got mad at me for making a mess or something, it was a brief flash and then I woke up.

 

Then I dreamt of your best friend. She was telling me how you are just ignoring everything and everyone here in Nova Scotia. How you just don't care and you are being selfish, immature. I believe it. I know how you were before you left and I believe you are still that way right now, just one month removed from when you moved there. It's going to take time.

 

L, I am an amazing person. Not a lot of girls see that. You did. But you forgot in your selfishness, in your fear. You built this ship to wreck. I know you hurt me before I could hurt you but I was never going to hurt you. Problem is, I can't make you forget your mental issues, I can't fix the fears you have inside your head, only you can do that. You are running, you are hiding, you are being anyone but yourself.. you are being that terrible person you never wanted to be. I don't know how many times I can cry for you, dream of you, scream for you, scream at you, wish for you, yell to the stars and the moon, pray, wish, hope, because nothing seems to be happening other than time dragging on.

 

I know you probably think in the back of your mind that if this excursion fails that you can come back and I'll still be here. I'm trying to move on. If I find someone, I'll be gone, and you'll hit rock bottom. What will you do then? You'll live with this regret. I don't want to live with mine but I don't have a choice.. all the cards are out of my hands.

 

If I don't hear from you by May 1st.. and I know that I won't.. I'm buying a ticket to see Ed Sheeran live in Montreal. Something we could have done and shared together. We don't need to move away to not be bored and to do things. You just had to have some patience, some trust, and be ready. The entire landscape of my life has changed, my perspective has changed, literally EVERYTHING we could have wanted is ripe and ready to go but you're gone. I can't believe you couldn't wait just a little longer and happily ever after would be right there. You made the worst mistake of your life.. and while I am listening to Ed Sheeran live, a day before you ever will, I will listen and enjoy.. and you will sit there, listen, hoping you were experiencing it with someone who loved you, not this stranger that you are using for your escape from reality.

[TunaCat]

C,

 

I'm finally feeling happy for the first time since the breakup. I'm happy and peaceful. No I'm not seeing anyone. Despite being happy, I'm not ready to get back into the dating world yet.

 

Moving on has been incredibly hard, but I'm doing it and I'm happy. That's all that matters to me.

[Throldur]

I miss you and today seems to be a day that I keep thinking about our first date together.

 

I miss everything we had. What we could have shared and I miss the future we were supposed to have.

 

May 1st. I'm doing it. I'm going to find a way to improve myself, my self confidence, my personality, in ways that will help me meet someone new.

 

I've given you too much time, too many tears, taken up too much space in my mind, in my heart for the decisions you made.

 

Hurry back before its too late. I don't want you to regret this but you will. I will have regrets but they will be buried and forgotten when I meet a new girl who won't run away like you did.

[Throldur]

L,

 

You're going to regret this one day.

 

You ran from something amazing.

 

Unless you realize it soon. I'll be gone. You'll be sorry. Your future will belong to someone else and what you will be left with is a pale imitation of everything we could have accomplished.

[Zetec]

 

If I don't hear from you by May 1st.. and I know that I won't.. I'm buying a ticket to see Ed Sheeran live in Montreal. Something we could have done and shared together. We don't need to move away to not be bored and to do things.

 

Maybe you'll meet a nice girl at the gig? Maybe she'll be stood/sat next you and you strike up a conversation and realise she is a girl that shares your interests (hockey!!), is pretty and has a great personality, and won't drop you to run away to another guy. A girl that is a million times better than your ex!

 

You never know what is round the corner and what life has in store for us. Buy the ticket, enjoy the gig and see what happens

[Miss Sisyphus]

I wonder if you ever cared about me?

[Throldur]

Maybe you'll meet a nice girl at the gig? Maybe she'll be stood/sat next you and you strike up a conversation and realise she is a girl that shares your interests (hockey!!), is pretty and has a great personality, and won't drop you to run away to another guy. A girl that is a million times better than your ex!

 

You never know what is round the corner and what life has in store for us. Buy the ticket, enjoy the gig and see what happens

 

I've been thinking a lot about it and I don't think I'm gonna go to the concert in Montreal. I'd be doing it mainly out of spite.. to see one of her favorite artists before she does (she'll likely be at the concert in Toronto the next day, provided she could afford it and the OM is actually delivering on his promises).. But then I realized, not only will I be doing it for the wrong reasons but what if my next girlfriend is a big Ed Sheeran fan, then I've already missed out on the magic of seeing him live with someone I care about for the first time.. or what if there's reconciliation down the line with my ex, I went to the show and she didn't, then its going to remove some magic from it there.

 

I'm gonna find a different concert to go to, Osheaga Festival in Montreal or INcubus & Deftones in Boston. The reason would not be spite and I'd be seeing some other bands that I've always wanted to see. It would be a different vibe and probably would have better karma with it.

 

------

 

And to my ex, L, you missed the Habs eliminating the Senators tonight. We could have had so many screams, moments of anxiety, jubiliation, and made so many comments and jokes like we always did. We'd be celebrating in bed right now.

 

Enjoy consoling your joke of a new boyfriend that you're using because his stupid Raptors got swept in the play-offs. He's a loser, like the teams he supports, way to ****ing go.

 

I know you are checking my twitter. I know you can't resist seeing what's going on. I know you're checking on the Habs. Thinking about me. Miss me yet? You'll miss me forever because some day soon, I'll have someone else. I'm about to make some huge changes to myself and I'm going to put myself out there more. I will be having lots of dates and I'll find the right woman. I'm not waiting for you any longer. I'll think about you. I'll love you. But I won't wait for you.

 

I'm the prize. You have amputated something of incredible value and worth in your life for something less. You paved paradise and put up a parking lot. It will just take some time for the shimmering lines of hallucination to be removed from your Rayban gaze to see the wealth of manure you now reside in.

[Zetec]

I know that you don't miss me. I doubt you even think about me now. I heard from mutual friends that you are happy. Your new guy is better than me - better looking, better suited to your interests and studying the same course as you. No doubt he is better in bed than me as well.

 

I've been invited to a wedding. I know you'll be there. I'm tempted to decline already - I don't want to see you and see/hear how happy you and your boyfriend are. I also don't want you to see how bad I am doing.

[TunaCat]

C,

 

I signed up for a sushi making class. You know I've been wanting to learn how to make sushi for a long time.

 

I'm so happy right now despite having a rocky afternoon.

[BlackbirdSong]

 

Enjoy consoling your joke of a new boyfriend that you're using because his stupid Raptors got swept in the play-offs. He's a loser, like the teams he supports, way to ****ing go.

 

This made me lol for real. Well played sir. Well played.

[Wade71]

To Lisa,

 

8 years gone.

 

We had our long term issues, but I love you.

 

But too much drinking , and pretty much zero sex life turned us into best friends. You knew how much the drinking was hurting me.

 

You said you gave me 8 years of your life, but I gave you 8 of mine too.. and tried my very best.. And deep down you know that.

But I left.. It may be the biggest mistake of my life. Feels like it is right now.

But I left and you hate me now..

 

It was me who left, but I also feel left at the same time.

 

I hope one day you'll let me see my dog from time to time. Take care of her.

 

You'll never see this, Its really hard loving someone, but knowing it isn't enough anymore.

 

I hope you sort yourself out too.. Get some help please.

 

You'll never know how hard this has been for me.

 

Take care deedee xxxx Luv luv luv

[ASV]

Now, this Wednesday, the day we used to hang out, I'd like to dedicate you one of the most moving passages I've ever read, by the man on my profile picture, which summarizes perfectly why I'm so devastated to leave behind me a ruined woman who cannot fix herself for good in order to fit a man like me who wants to love her and be loved. I cannot help but feeling down when I remember that your two best friends lived a main life with their partners and just treated you as a second option when they wanted to go out. I feel like you should have aimed better, but that's your choice and your choice only. I know you wouldn't read this. I know you wouldn't care. That's what made you so special. Anyway, with love:

 

My world of human beings had perished; I was utterly alone in the world and for friends I had the streets, and the streets spoke to me in that sad, bitter language compounded of human misery, yearning, regret, failure, wasted effort. Passing under the viaduct along the Rue Broca, one night after I had been informed that Mona was ill and starving, I suddenly recalled that it was here in the squalor and gloom of this sunken street, terrorized perhaps by a premonition of the future, that Mona clung to me and with a quivering voice begged me to promise that I would never leave her, never, no matter what happened. And, only a few days later, I stood on the platform of the Gare St. Lazare and I watched the train pull out, the train that was bearing her away; she was leaning out of the window, just as she had leaned out of the window when I left her in New York, and there was that same, sad, incrustable smile on her face, the last-minute look which is intended to convey so much, but which is only a mask that is twisted by a vacant smile. Only a few days before, she had clung to me desperately and then something happened, something which is not even clear to me now, and of her own volition she boarded the train and she was looking at me again with that sad, enigmatic smile which baffles me, which is unjust, unnatural, which I distrust with all my soul. And now it is I, standing in the shadow of the viaduct, who reach out for her, who cling to her desperately and there is that same inexplicable smile on my lips, the mask that I have clamped down over my grief. I can stand here and smile vacantly, and no matter how fervid my prayers, no matter how desperate my longing, there is an ocean between us; there she will stay and starve, and here I shall walk from one street to the next, the hot tears scalding my face.

It is that sort of cruelty which is embedded in the streets, it is that which stares out from the walls and terrifies us when suddenly we respond to a nameless fear, when suddenly our souls are invaded by a sickening panic. It is that which gives the lampposts their ghoulish twists, which makes them beckon to us and lure us to their strangling grip; it is that which makes certain houses appear like the guardians of secret crimes and their blind windows like the empty sockets of eyes that have seen too much. It is that sort of thing, written into the human physiognomy of the streets which makes me flee when overhead I suddenly see inscribed "Impasse Satan." That which makes me shudder when at the very entrance to the Mosque I observe that it is written: "Mondays and Thursdays tuberculosis; Wednesdays and Fridays syphilis." In every Metro station there are grinning skulls that greet you with

"Defendez-vous centre la syphilis!" Wherever there are walls, there are posters with bright venomous crabs heralding the approach of cancer. No matter where you go, no matter what you touch, there is cancer and syphilis.

It is written in the sky; it flames and dances, like an evil portent. It has eaten into our souls and we are nothing but a dead thing like the moon.

[Throldur]

I hate you for giving up.

For running away.

 

I want nothing more than a second chance to do things the right way. I will remain patient, I will better myself, I will search for someone else and we will see what happens between us in the mean-time.

[TrevorDia]

It always astounds me to think that, years after we broke up, you still had me buying you $50 t-shirts. A fool and his money are soon parted, eh? I was so blind to the fact that someone so sweet could be so vindictive. I know you've got daddy issues, I know about the drugs he used to take in front of you - I know about the times he hit you and your mother. And that's why I've been so willing to let so much slide. I know you act like you have the perfect life, but I know all about the darkness - and I've always been here to try pull you out into the light. I was never a "happy" person. I was never very "sociable", but that's the nature of my job really - if I get attached to people, it makes it so much harder to represent my clients. But you were always so easy to love. I guess it's because you were finally someone as messed up as me. You took it too far though - you made me care far beyond what I thought I could care about another person. You forced me to write you a story of our future every night before sending you off to sleep. And then at the end, you pulled out the rug from under me as hard as you could, and I'm falling and I don't know if I'll ever stop falling. They say it's not the fall that kills you, it's hitting the bottom. You'll never know how much it hurt every time you told me you were sleeping with another guy. I tried to let it go, but it was a guy a day! You're better than that! You were going to be my wife! We were planning a family! Look, I know you're messed up, and I am too - so I'm not going to stop caring about you, but I'm also not going to message you. If you ever NEED anything, you know I'm always going to be here for you. If your father ever turns up again, it will be the very last thing he does. And if you ever need help, call me. You know why? Even though it was you who left me, I feel like I abandoned you. I'm glad you're enjoying your new relationship. But I know who your boyfriend is - as I've said before, it's my job to know. As long as you're happy though, I guess all I can do is leave you alone. I'm going to miss you like crazy, I saw an advert for our TV show today. Sucks that I won't be watching it with you this season. Goodnight [name].

Edited April 30, 2015 by TrevorDia

[TunaCat]

C,

 

I never told you this but I always felt like I was your fallback plan after your previous girlfriend, T died. You never treated me like I was anything less than amazing, so that tells me it was my insecurity. I always wondered if you would still be with T if she was still alive and a friend of mine told me I had to stop thinking like that or it would ruin the relationship I was building with you.

 

Well at least I no longer have to worry about that insecurity anymore.

[Familia]

Polly why do I blame myself for everything that torn us apart, I know you were the one to finally leave and move on with someone else, we had 7 years whilst we had our ups and downs we had so much love for each other.

 

I feel like I am carrying the pain for both of us now, it hurts its killing me, I am dying within myself, I am holding all the blame for our demise.

 

I love you and know we could make things better, and better forever. I am lost I don't know when the pain will cease. I know we are done you have said it many times although I still dream we will be together again someday, although I know its a dream and its painful

 

I love you Polly (Anni) xoxoxox

[Throldur]

L, I dreamed of you last night, again.

 

I dreamt that I was working at some sort of pawn shop. Girls were coming in, looking at things, I was talking to them. You and your friends came in. You began to text me, a bunch of things, I can't remember what they were, but I remember you capitalizing words like you would when you were joking around or excited about something. It felt good, it felt familiar.

Then your friend came over and she sat next to me. She had a weird look on her face and I asked, like I had so many times before to her in dreams, 'is she going to break up with me again?" and she shook her said and no, "Oh no, that's not it."

 

I woke up.

 

Then I fell back asleep. Dreamt of you again. We were in Costco, you were looking for balsamic vinagrette for a salad you were making. You were saying how you needed stuff for breakfast but that I wasn't going to be staying over night just quite yet, so you didn't need anything to make for me. I was okay with it, we were spending time together, rebuilding, so what if I wasn't going to stay over and have breakfast?

 

I woke up again.

 

I wasn't able to get back to sleep to dream of you more. Maybe this is a sign its possible we will slowly rebuild again. I don't know. But it felt good to see you and be with you again, even in my dreams.

 

I'm being positive and patient. I am moving on but holding a hope for you deep in my heart. Time is going to be needed for you to be in a place for us to successfully rebuild. I am ok with that. I am always ok with the prospect of finding someone else in the mean time.

[Zetec]

L,

 

I'm sorry. I know it was my fault.

 

In my head I keep blaming you - that is my way of coping.

 

Slowly realising you did nothing wrong - I was a rubbish boyfriend.

 

Unfortunately, I know I will never get the chance to fix this with you as you have moved on to bigger and better things.

 

All I can do is learn from this. It is a hard lesson to learn though - I lost the love of my life in the process.

[L1ght]

...............

Edited April 30, 2015 by L1ght

[ASV]

Today it sucks to be me.

 

Stuck at the anger phase. Blaming myself for being too gentle or kind when I should have been more "alpha", "dominant" or have concealed better my true feelings. Now here's the scene, dear C.: you're hanging out once in a lifetime with your best friend, who does not greet you when is with his girlfriend in order to avoid her jealousy, and your female friend, who takes you as a second option when she's not dating her boyfriend. You're not a priority to anyone anymore. Maybe you'll be before I am to someone. Don't doubt it. You're gorgeous, and you've got top notch boobs, I'm just an average dude. Maybe I should have treated you as a second best too, and I'd be banging you tonight again.

 

Seriously, I hope you have fun when travelling outside the country as you told me the only time we met after the BU. Maybe you find the free-from-compromises fun you were looking for there. I'm unable to believe another single word your mouth spews. Still I want my ego fix and that voluptous curves behind my back. And I won't do better.

 

In all honesty, I don't wish you well. I really hope you get the unhappiness you deserve for treating me as a second option too. Maybe then you can see things clear and then I'll be the one who "is afraid to let things flow". Kisses, sweetie.

[Throldur]

L,

 

Today I take everything you've bought me and I will put it in a box. Seal you away in the back of my closet. Like the back of my mind. I had a weird energy of you around last night. My dreams lately seem to be soft, they seem to show a willingness, a possibility of you coming back in the future, but they are also littered with the reminder that it won't be easy, that you will have experienced things I don't wanna know about, that it will take time to ease back into a relationship, that there will be a fear for a while that you will up and leave me again.

 

We will see if we ever get there. Right now, you're gone. Really gone. There's no chances of anything. I leave you to your lessons and leave myself to self-improvement. All it takes is one good girl to like me again and things can turn around on a dime.

 

Best of luck to you in learning the things in life you need to learn. I hope you start learning them soon. Honeymoon is almost halfway-through.

[ApexTitanium]

Im dying inside. My mind and heart are dying.....its only a matter of time until my body follows.

Tomorrow would have been our 6yr anniversary.

I dont plan on being around to fight the excruciating pain that will come with it.

Forever and always my love.

[Gwwm123]

J

 

The beginning of the weekend, the much anticipated friday, one which will fall into the category of dreadful because I am heading home alone. Nothing to do but to wallow in this pain, imagining, fantasizing, expecting anxiously that you will reach out to me, the man you say is the only one in your life you have ever looked up to, the one you say is handsome, the one that can give you absolutely everything you wish for. You would be the Queen and I would be your King, I wouldnt give you love, something much bigger than that. I would protect you, take care of you, be your pilar, help you when you feel sad, when you are stuck, when you need a lending hand.

 

Tomorrow will be a new day, I dont know how will I feel when I wake up, but many mornings I have thought about you, wishing I turned around and there youd be, with you dark hair spread all over the pillow, I would stare at your beauty for a few seconds, greet your morning with a slow and gentle kiss in the cheek, those cheeks I so much like. We would have a brilliant weekend, and in return what do I want? A smile, that smile I love.

 

If this is not love then I dont know what love is, and frankly I dont want to know, because the way you make me feel is like living nirvana.

 

Its all a fantasy, good bye gorgeous.

[Throldur]

I need you right now. More than you'll ever know. I don't want to be on this journey without you. I don't want to have to do the things, take the risks, put myself out there because you're gone.

 

All I ever wanted to do was fix the mistakes of the past. This request is not unreasonable but I am being shut out. ****

[darkbloom]

A,

 

This is the first week I've felt like myself again since the breakup. I feel free. Thank you for leaving me be. As much as I prayed for you to contact me and desperately wanted you to, you are giving me the gift of healing by staying away.

 

Thank you,

 

db