Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[The Great Gazoo]

I am still hurting sooo deep. I can't believe that you are actually gone. I respect your right to make your choices with your life, but I can't believe how you just chose to have a fling & discard me without any concerns about my emotions and the fallout for me and my sons. Cold.

 

First you actually snuck out of our hotel bed on our vacation with my son as we were sleeping to have a one night stand with a stranger? Who are you!?!?!?!?!? Where is the smart, moral woman I married, the one I loved, respected and admired?

 

Then you told me about the fling and moved out all in one day. WTF !!!!

 

Now I am crushed and hurting, and on top already you're dating? Leave an 8 year marriage with a one night stand and then start dating immediately? You are so f'n emotionally stunted. You are going to be so emotionally alone all your life, but maybe that’s all you can deal with?

 

If you just would have told me you were unhappy a year ago we could have maybe fixed it. But no.... why share your feeeeeelings? You're such a selfish, autistic f'n ice queen.

 

I am so angry right now it feels like it's flowing out of me like fire. I wasn't the perfect husband but goddddaaammmit I tried. How could I improve or try to be a better man if you wouldn't tell me what's wrong or what you needed? I tried to anticipate your needs but that’s next to impossible.

 

Not to mention your intimacy issues, no we can't have sex b/c the kids are in the house? WTF is that? The sex was boring and routine with you anyways. Damn near took a crowbar to get those frigid legs open half the time. I suggested things, asked about your needs and tried to spice it up but you were so prudish. I should have realized how completely passionless you were right from the start, but I kept hoping you would loosen up as we got closer and at least tried to open up or let go. Maybe that was my fault too, I tried to be approachable but I know wasn't always.

 

What about my future, my kids futures? With your huge income you promised them the world and now you're taking it all away. You offered to pay for their college and now you're gone. Now he's a year from graduation and he'll have to realize how people can hurt you, crush you and **** on your dreams.

 

And what about me? I went back to grad school with your support and blessing and now I still need time to complete my professional qualifications and now you pull the rug out from under me too?

 

As angry as I am, I want to forgive you but that may never happen fully.

 

But I'd still rather have my life, one where I can actually love people without reservation, openly and truly love. I feel sorry for you, to go through life so cold and clinical. You couldn't even hug my sons when they were little w/o tightening up and unable to let go of your reservations. Sad.

[Blueberry7691]

J-

 

Here's a song for ya!!

 

[IfiKnewThen]

I can't believe you can still hurt me like you do after all this time and all this progress, thing's were absolutely fine the way they were so why louse that up for me?, your the one that messed this all up yet I'm the one getting punished for it day in day out, I can't see my son now for 3 weeks because your taking him away without once again asking my permission, your a spoilt brat and if there was any justice in the world then Lucas would be with me full time and you can see how this feels, to be pushed out, to be deprived, to be all alone.

 

You always get your own way and I just wish that you could see this stranger that I see right now because back when we first met, you were lovely and kind and would never have caused any of this, now your bitter and twisted and say things like "sometime's I think it would be better if you and your mum didn't want access at all", that's just messed up but I'll never give you that satisfaction because despite what you think of me I am a damn good father and I would do anything for our little boy and you can just go to hell and burn there like you deserve if you ever try and deprive him of a real father.

 

It took me a long time to get over you but no contact worked, I kept looking back and looking back and looking back until eventually I found a loophole and realised I was only looking back at the good stuff and next to that there was betrayal, lies, deceit, insults, no respect what so ever and romance and love was whistling in the wind as far as you were concerned, all you ever did was mess me around and throw me away time after time and I took it and condoned it because I didn't want to feel like a worthless no account and for some messed up reason I needed your validation to clear that up.

 

I am so far from the weakling you once knew and I'm not going to sit around any more and take it up the tail pipe from you!, I can honestly say I don't take crap from anybody any more and I'll never let anybody hurt me or mistreat me the way you did because I deserve so much more than that, I am a good hearted loving person and one day you'll look back and know you messed that up because you'll never get better than what I gave you but for me, I will get better, I'll make sure I get better and when I do she is going to be a million times the person you ever were, right now I'm looking back on you and I ain't looking back in sorrow or anger or anything like that, I'm looking back on the selfish egotistical bitch that thankfully! got away.

 

yes, very well said. yay simon. keep that spirit going. if only she knew how much stronger this made you. but i wish you never had the pain. but keep going youre doing great.

[IfiKnewThen]

J-

 

Here's a song for ya!!

 

 

great song! i never really lsitened to the words till now , in that video.

empowering

[understatement]

I hate you in fact i despise you. You insist on coming back to me to play your stupid games.

 

You left me with no job, no money a miscarriage and a head full of emotional abuse. Where is the woman of your dreams? Thats what you screamed at me isnt it? The woman of my dreams is out there I just havent met her yet!! And all while I was losing your child. Yeah the child you told me didnt matter because we were not married. I will NEVER forget your words - IT WASNT F***ING PLANNED what the f88k do you want me to do. You should be begging me for forgiveness. But I now realise that you are a very sick man.

 

Fourteen months later and you still have not moved on you F**cking A**hole. The stalking for the past three months is not working. I should not have spoken to you last week. I knew your constant driving past me EVERY DAY was only to get me to call you. You used my grandmothers death (7 weeks after she died) as an excuse to contact me. As usual that is sick. You never gave a Sh8t about her you knew she was dying. SICK!!! Leave me alone you dont deserve airtime!!!!

 

You cant stand the fact that I have picked myself up and re built my life can you. O but then you are a controlling abusive nasty cruel man who has lost control over me. Thats really what it all boils down to.

 

The laughable thing is you say you still love me. You dont know what love is. What sort of person are you???

 

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

(sorry had to get that out before i lifted my phone)

[lazybum]

I was doing fine without you for the past two months. Why you suddenly had to tell your friend to tell me you're back? So I would come and see you? Well, you sure did bait me because you know how weak my heart is for you. Even now, i know everything and yet you still put up a front.

 

But nothing will change your stupidity for now. It may take months or even years for you to fully comprehend the full extent of your mistake.

 

You tried to bait me back several times because you were selfish. You made no hesitation in choosing him over me. And I will finalise the decision you made; "I don't want you anymore, sorry." I will make that come true.

 

No matter how difficult it is, I will move on for my sake because I love life and i love living. I will learn to be happy again without a anyone.

 

I will recite this mantra daily until it becomes truth.

 

I don't love her.

I don't miss her.

I don't need her.

I don't want you back.

I will be strong.

I will be happy.

I will live my life for myself, by myself.

 

I took care of you like a baby for the past 1.5 years and you mercilessly broke me down. On top of that, you still said to my face while looking into my eyes, then you didn't want me anymore. I won't respond to your pathetic attempts at reconnection.

 

Only if you muster the courage to bang down my door and say the magic words "Sorry, i made a mistake, i truly regret and i wanna try again" then i will think about a third chance. You heard me, third chance. Because you came back asking for a second chance only to leave 2 days later.

 

I have the strength and resolve to get over someone as selfish as you. Will I ever find someone again? I don't know. However, I WILL find myself again - 100% of myself.

 

Happy dying in your new relationship. 2 months with the pussy and you're already combusting. But you asked for this not me. And i gave it to you.

[marqueemoon4]

^^nice first post^^

 

 

welcome!

[lazybum]

You told me you wanted to come to my album launch. And it would be so nice to have you there to celebrate with. But you know what, there's nothing between you and me anymore. We're not friends, we're nothing. There's no reason why should be there to bask in my glory when u were the one who dismantled it all.

 

You don't deserve to see me in my moment. Suffer with that pussy who who's giving you a headache every day.

 

You threw me away. Means you get nothing of me. Not a peep.

[lazybum]

Hey marqueemoon4! Thanx, i've been around here for 2 months since my break-up and the advice here has helped me immensely.

 

NC is the way to go. And one thing to note, it also applies to talking to her frens and family. DON'T TALK TO ANY OF THEM TOO!

[marqueemoon4]

Hey marqueemoon4! Thanx, i've been around here for 2 months since my break-up and the advice here has helped me immensely.

 

NC is the way to go. And one thing to note, it also applies to talking to her frens and family. DON'T TALK TO ANY OF THEM TOO!

 

keep up the good work.. you're out with your pride in tact and moving on to better things!

[TooMuchPride]

are you hurting as bad as i am?

[lazybum]

You ruined something perfect.

[lazybum]

Eventually, i know you will regret and come back. I hope i have the strength to say no when that happens.

[The Great Gazoo]

I thought it was perfect too. As perfect as a relationship could be with flawed people in it. If I only knew then what I know now I wouldn't have spent 10 years waiting for the ultimate let down, the cold stab in the back.

 

Where is the woman I married? Who are you? Why? The questions won't stop coming, like a reel to reel in my brain, repeating and repeating, what's wrong with me? why now? what did I do? why didn't you come to me? why didn't you talk to me? why didn't you help me find what makes you happy? why this new insatiable need for the attention of other men? I loved you and told you how smart, beautiful wonderful you were all the time. Did I spoil you? Did you believe me? You said I gave you too many compliments and that they didn't mean anything anymore? **** THAT I meant every word of them. I meant everything. I respected and honored you. You were so emotionally stunted you couldn't even apologize after a fight or show any regular signs of love/affection right from the start of our relship.

But I still accepted you as you were, accepted the lack of intimacy and communication. I suffered to be with you because I loved you and needed you in my life -- what a waste.

 

I'll move on someday and I'll find a real woman, one with emotions and feelings, someone who will share them with me and not be scared to experience them. You'll probably move on from relationship to relationship looking for something, looking for validation of your looks, of the veneer, the outside part of being a woman, but you will probably never be able to share true intimacy with anyone. Share what's really inside you, who you really are, take down the walls. That's sad and I'm so sorry for you.

[IfiKnewThen]

i have had contact indirectly (through others) and directly, i broke down and emailed him. this after trying to get my stuff back..and all the crap that happened trying. i know i know. if i were to write here all i wrote already it would be ten pages and yes i am seriously contemplating sending my reply to his letter of late.

 

page 1................................to .....................10. cant type it all here.

 

Lord please help me to make the right decision and be strong. i fear i will give into sending it. :(

[lazybum]

It sucks to know you're miserable with the pussy now. But that was your choice, not mine. i want to just get over you and move on and be happy again. We had something beautiful that made others jealous. Now, i don't know if i can ever find something like that again.

 

But i have the strength to move past this pain and make leaving me the biggest mistake you ever made

[brokendreamz]

I wish you hadn't left me.

 

I wish you hadn't told me you were off to France for the weekend.

 

I wish our ****ing house was sold so I don't have to have any contact with you.

 

I still love you sooo much I constantly want to cry (still!) Not sure how much more of this I can handle.

 

You haven't seen me for 2 months, I've changed - I'm everything you wanted me to be and more.

 

I know so little about you after 8 years together! You broke me (or was I already broken?)

 

Have you got another bloke? I don't think I want to know the answer to that question, but to be fair it couldn't be any worse than what I dream up in my head!

 

I think you leaving me was a good thing, if you hadn't we'd have both been unhappy but god I wish you'd talked to me about things. YOU NEVER ASKED ME TO CHANGE! In fact you told me not to!!!!!

 

I love you flower and I've got a horrible feeling that I always will - Rubbish!!

 

I wish you all the best - you genuinely deserve it.

 

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. PLEASE COME BACK TO ME !!!!

 

Me x

[lazybum]

**** your facebook profile.

[lazybum]

IfIKnewThen, stay strong! Don't cave in! Trust me, trying to contact him is a really bad idea! it will just backfire!

[lazybum]

Right now, i desperately want to know you're missing me and thinking of breaking up with that pussy. But you need to know what's life without me. And life without me sucks doesn't it?

 

Your friend lianne has screwed me over the past weekend. I told her explicitly i didn't want her number now i'm always in the dilemma for texting her to find out about you.

 

But will be strong and i will not cave in. As long as i don't drink. I hope this gets easier over time.

Edited May 11, 2011 by lazybum

[Blueberry7691]

J-

 

I guess it still bothers me that you never spoke to me about what happened in December. You never told me you wanted to talk to me. You never said 'Hey, can you talk? Can I call you?'

 

Even after I brought it up, you still didn't mention it. WTF is that about?

 

All our communication these past 4+ months have been texting alone. It's so annoying.

 

Do you know, that you have helped me move on? By staying away from me, by not bringing it up, you helped me. I'm sure if you realized it, you'd kick yourself in the ass!!!

 

We are not going to get back together. I know you're thinking we will because you haven't lost that hope. I know you!!! You are in denial.

 

Things could've been different but you didn't make a move.

All you had to do was talk to me.

 

I've decided to forgive your stupidity today J. So, I forgive you. I may not forget it, but I will forgive you. It's going to help me move on.

 

Take care of yourself and wise up!

[giuliano-3]

My phone ringing at 2am woke me up last night, but my heart didn't start beating fast when I thought it might be you. I simply turned over and fell back asleep, the thought of checking to see who it was didn't even cross my mind. This morning I must admit being disappointed when I found out it wasn't you who called. I hope when you do call I'll be strong enough to not answer. There is nothing you can say to change the way I feel anymore. You screwed me over, strung me along and toyed with my emotions. These are not the actions of a friend or someone who cares. They are the actions of a scared little girl, afraid to face her fears and communicate like an adult.

 

I forgive you, I don't miss you, I don't love you and I don't care what happens with you and Gray-Hair.

[TazoCoffee]

Its been around 3-4 months since our breakup. Its also been 1 and a half month since NC. I think I can finally say that I am no longer hurt when I think about you. I also no longer dream about you but if i do, i don't wake up being sad. Before, there was some days when i used to be afraid to go to bed because i was scared to dream about you, but I no longer have to live with that fear. When i see your pictures, I am no longer attracted to you and your ugly personality. I can't say I'm completely over you yet but I know sooner or later, i will be and I cant wait :]. Time is my best friend right now. Whenever i get over you, i will never look back at us or even our memories. Once i'm done, i'm done with you forever. There are still days when i feel like talking to you just to see how your doing, but i shouldn't care about you anymore. Its funny how you told me you cared about me, but never even tried contact me to see how I'm doing. Now i can see it was out of guilt (of leaving me for someone else) and pity. Take your pity somewhere else because I don't want your pathetic pity. its funny how you told me i will never meet anyone like you. haha, i think your right, i HOPE i don't meet anyone like you.

 

p.s. YOU were a HORRIBLE KISSER..!!! so sloppy.

[lazybum]

I forgive you, I don't miss you, I don't love you and I don't care what happens with you and Gray-Hair.

 

Damn straight giulano! I've been reciting a similar mantra everytime i think of my ex.

 

I don't love her.

I don't miss her.

I don't need her.

I don't want her back.

I will be strong.

I will be happy.

I live my life for myself, by myself.

 

My mind will overcome my heart soon enough.

[lazybum]

Your stubbornness confounds me. It's so obvious you still love me. But you're still stuck with that pussy. I guess all i can do is NC and let your relationship with the pussy crash to the ground.

 

Even then, I can't take you back cuz u'll be so messed up. Sort your demons out ourself and come back and then we can talk.

 

Until then, i also need to heal. The sweetest girl on earth broke my heart. I have little hope in future relationships.