dazednconfuzed Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 I met a girl last March, and we struck up a long-distance relationship. I am a lesbian and soon found out she was bi-curious. She had always been with men and had even been married at one time. We dated for nearly a year and grew extremely close. We travelled together, spent weekends together and loved eachother. Our sex was fantastic, and our feelings for eachother were deep too. She'd always say she didn't know how she could ever go back to a guy again. Anyway, she ended up dumping me one week before our one year anniversary. It was strange. The week of valentine's day she had sent me a gift and two cards. She was looking forward to seeing me on the weekend. She had asked me to take some time off for my birthday in April. Then, suddenly, she was blowing me off and in the course of one week, our relationship had come to an end. I won't go into the details of how the breakup came to pass, but I will tell you that she cheated on me with some guy she met at tennis. Later, she informed me that he was only ten percent of why she wanted to break up ... She wanted to explain herself further, but I told her I didn't care to hear her excuses. I just didn't want to waste another moment with her. If I had to guess at why she wanted to break up, I'd say she couldn't stand living two lives ... her friends and family would not approve of her being with a woman, and she felt she couldn't tell anyone about me, knowing that society didn't approve. I am crushed. I want her so badly, and my feelings for her are still very strong. At the time of our breakup, I told her "thanks for experimenting with me." I never cried. I let her know that I was angry at her for doing what she did, and I have not contacted her since. I have been trying hard to forget her. I joined a gym, and I've started dating again, but my ex is still so deep in my heart, I am having a tough time letting go. I love her with all my heart ... This is the my longest relationship and the first time I've ever really felt love. So here is my question to you: Should I swallow my pride and tell my ex how I feel about her? Or should I forget I ever met her? Thanks for your advice.
Guest Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Welcome. My answer would be no. Do NOT contact her. You think it'll help but in the end most everyone always feels worse. Stay Strong.
MikeC Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 I guess it all depends on what you want from her. If you want to talk to her then contact her. But if your anger supercedes all else, and you want time to cool down, don't. But remember. If you go NC, you might as well forget about any kind of future with her in your life. Be it a friend or more.
frd150 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 hey dazed, to me love is love. gay,lesbian, or straight .we all hurt the same when it ends. unfortunatly not all society feels as i do. if she cannot be honest with how she feels due to outside forces the i am sure that you will be ale to find a great girl who is willing to be able to be open with her sexuality and be able to love you openly. mabe make one effort to have a sit down with her and lay i all out. she how he responds and go from there . bottom line is you cannot love someone openly who can only love you in secret. i was lucky yesterday to get some great advice on my situation from a lesbian couple . it was great , two women who understand dating women.
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