christian6 Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 if so, then how do you start a conversation? especially, if you or her are in a group?
Reckless Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Sure you can try. In a group will be kinda awkward... alone.. hmm 1) eye contact 2) try and look intellectual and non threatening (do NOT be holding a copy of 'World's worst serial killers' or 'Ted Bundy: my hero, my mentor' ... ) 3) if she smiles you can approach 4) "Great book" an easy and natural opening line ... as long as she isn't holding "All men are bastards - by I M abich" or "Living with Herpes" ... or "You hate your husband? Seven ways to kill him and not do time" 5) If she gives you an opening fine - "yes, have you read it?" Don't say yes, unless its the bible or another book you think you can guess the ending to "no but I hear its good" should work fine and before you know it, you have a little conversation. If she looks at you like you asked her to sacrifice her firstborn it is officially a 'strikeout'; move on or risk being asked politely to leave by shop security. Note: If you look like Brad Pitt you don't have to be holding a book. You don't even have to know how to read. In fact, if you look like Brad Pitt or Denzel Washington or Pierce Bronson, you don't have to be in a bookstore at all you can catch her coming out of the gynecologist and that would be cool. If you are extremely physically unattractive maybe holding a copy of "The Millionaire's handbook of finding a woman that will help you spend your dosh" may provide an added boost Horn rimmed glasses are sexy R
VirtualInsanity Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 For me, I don't like it. I go to places like Borders because it's relaxing & to focus on something other then my personal life. I'm surfing the web but in person.
Author christian6 Posted April 22, 2007 Author Posted April 22, 2007 oh ok...thought its a nice place and better than bars/clubs
Shandy Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 I think it's okay. I personally know a girl that go to borders to read in hopes of meeting a guy there when she's single. It's so hard to meet people these days. In bookstores you'll meet a different type of women than at bars and clubs... I think. And if that's the type you're into, then go for it!!!
VirtualInsanity Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 oh ok...thought its a nice place and better than bars/clubs Oh no, it's A LOT better then clubs/bars. I'm only speaking for myself. Don't want to discourage you.
kepners Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 what the freak is boarders. I have a similar situation at the pool i swim at everyday... she the one that made me notice her, by smiling etc, NOW i cant take my eyes off her (almost) and will all wait for her to be finish so she can sign me in. like today she came out of the office to sign me in. we always say hi and sometimes have a little joke about. BUT i so want to ask her or give her my number. i guess nothing feels good for me as i am off the road with women at the moment. i want to get back on the road, but i am getting tired of crashing and burning, i want a rest, but at the same tme i dont... hell i am sorry look at me i wasnt ment to start opening up. listen the best is chat to her, see how it goes, eye contact is a MUST! but, u can just be blant and ask her if shes got a man, and then say wanna go out? and when she says yeah you give her your written down number! but its strength of character to do that. but it is an idea. K
alphamale Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 what the freak is boarders. its a very large national bookstore chain in the US. The stores are huge with cafes and places to sit and read. You can go in there and browse in any of their sections. They encourage their customers to read before u buy so you can hang out for a couple hours and then split without spending any ca$h. but as to the original quesiton....if a woman uses prolonged eye contact + a smile then you can approach her anywhere.
polywog Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 I used to run a very good small private bookstore in a great neighborhood with lots of single people. I used to wish people would hook up there, because there were so many great customers who came in alone to browse. We considered making a matchmaking service! We did witness a few great moments of near-hook ups. Mostly people tried to pick us up, those of us who worked there, though. Anyhow, I can't think of a better place to find common ground with someone. Just be subtle. And pretend to be confident and fascinating. Eye contact is key, but not creepy overt eye contact. You just need to go someplace and practice for a while until you get the tecnique down. I suspect that lots of single people lurk in bookstores hoping to hook up. I have certainly been cruised in bookstores, but not when I was available so I haven't experienced the pick up part. Anyhow, just have to say that Reckless's post was hilarious!!
alphamale Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 I used to run a very good small private bookstore in a great neighborhood with lots of single people. I used to wish people would hook up there, because there were so many great customers who came in alone to browse. We considered making a matchmaking service! I hear about all these "hook ups" in public places but I never see any. When I go out in public the vast majority of people are in their own world and actually seem like they don't want to talk with strangers. People are so scared and wary of strangers...mothers freak out if the kids gets more than 10 feet away. I used to hang out in bookstores a lot and never saw one hook up. Most of hook up I've seen happened at parties and bars where booze was involved.
polywog Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 I hear about all these "hook ups" in public places but I never see any. When I go out in public the vast majority of people are in their own world and actually seem like they don't want to talk with strangers. People are so scared and wary of strangers...mothers freak out if the kids gets more than 10 feet away. I used to hang out in bookstores a lot and never saw one hook up. Most of hook up I've seen happened at parties and bars where booze was involved. Sad but true. Note that I said "near hook ups". My bookstore days were several years ago, in slightly more innocent times. In fact, I found out that that store, which became the last private bookstore in a major Ohio city, closed last year because it could not compete with chains and the internet. Sad. I think that these are weird times in the USA. It's as if people are so self-centered or isolated or scared that they don't know how to be plain old social beings anymore. That sucks.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 I work in a large bookstore, and get approached from time to time. Most of us that work there do. We all compare notes, too - but no worries, we generally go easy on people... Seriously though, the best thing to do is walk up and say 'hi'. We are very, very used to that - it comes with the job. Strike up a conversation about a book or author you like. That is some safe common ground to start with, since most of the people working in a bookstore are working there because they like to read, or are writers, or something along those lines. Part of the job includes looking up your title, and walking you to the section - so use that time to chit-chat. Understand that a good deal of our customers do that, so we are comfortable with that. When you feel like the time is right, say something like "hey, I was wondering if I could get your number to give you a call so we can hang out some time and talk more/get coffee/etc". That is when we know that its a 'date' interest, and not just an enthusiastic book fan. If it makes you more comfortable, come in and chat with that person a few more times before laying the date lines on her. Usually if the same guy comes in and chats a few times, we know what is up or at least suspect it. Its pretty apparent when a customer is intending to ask you out. They act differently than the average book people that just like to come in and talk to us a lot. Understand though, that we are busy a lot of the time and we won't have a leisurely time to stand around and talk so you'll have to get to the point fairly quickly. Don't be discouraged if you get a "I'm really busy right now" response - unless you get it every single time. That's what we do when we are trying to ditch someone, but sometimes we really are busy, even when it doesn't look busy. There is ALWAYS something that has to be done, even if there aren't a lot of customers around.
alphamale Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 I work in a large bookstore, and get approached from time to time. Most of us that work there do. We all compare notes, too - but no worries, we generally go easy on people... I think the OP was referring to meeting other customers and not the employees.
pricillia Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 if so, then how do you start a conversation? especially, if you or her are in a group? Hell yeah
Star Gazer Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 For me, I don't like it. I go to places like Borders because it's relaxing & to focus on something other then my personal life. I'm surfing the web but in person. Me too. I don't like getting hit on at Borders/Barnes&Noble or the gym. Those are my "me" spots, and I try to have body language that says "please do not disturb." But that's just me. I'd think others would appreciate being approached there... just make sure they're not trying to discreetly read something while in the self-help section.
alphamale Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Those are my "me" spots, and I try to have body language that says "please do not disturb." what body language do you frequently utilize?
polywog Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 what body language do you frequently utilize? alpha, you are being so serious and earnest tonight! What gives? Are you out of toilet paper and resorting to Taco Bell napkins? Something's up with you.
whichwayisup Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Is it okay to approach a woman at a bookshop/musicshop? NO IT IS NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!! Nah, just kidding. (Sorry, couldn't resist) if so, then how do you start a conversation? especially, if you or her are in a group? Find a book or a CD that you really like and ask her what she thinks of it. Or just go up to her and say, can I buy you a coffee? (ofcourse, smile at her too).
alphamale Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 alpha, you are being so serious and earnest tonight! What gives? Are you out of toilet paper and resorting to Taco Bell napkins? Something's up with you. nothing...actually I printed out this thread and i'm using that to wipe my bottom Find a book or a CD that you really like and ask her what she thinks of it. Or just go up to her and say, can I buy you a coffee? (ofcourse, smile at her too). what if she maces him?
Star Gazer Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 what body language do you frequently utilize? Okay, I'll bite. At the gym, I wear a hat (pulled low) and my iPod earbud things. If it's not obvious that I'm there to power through a workout, and not to chit-chat, then the dude approaching is going to get blown off...no matter how hot he is. The proper time to approach a gal at the gym is as she's coming and/or going, not mid-workout. At a bookstore, I think I just wear a more serious face and avoid eye contact. If I see someone coming towards me, I turn the front of my body away from them. Again, as I'm coming and going from the bookstore - i.e., in line at checkout - I'm back to my friendly, talkative self. Overall, when someone has a "don't talk to me right now" attitude, it shows...I think, anyway. The reverse, however, isn't always the case.
whichwayisup Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 nothing...actually I printed out this thread and i'm using that to wipe my bottom Pass along the wipes, seeing as now I need it after I read what you wrote! what if she maces him What??? Mace him just for asking her for a coffee? Or commenting on a book/CD? You're funny alphamale.
polywog Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 nothing...actually I printed out this thread and i'm using that to wipe my bottom what if she maces him? U R 2 silly!!!!
alphamale Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Overall, when someone has a "don't talk to me right now" attitude, it shows...I think, anyway. The reverse, however, isn't always the case. I agree SG...I was just curious as to which particular tactics you use.
Trialbyfire Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 At a bookstore, I think I just wear a more serious face and avoid eye contact. If I see someone coming towards me, I turn the front of my body away from them. Again, as I'm coming and going from the bookstore - i.e., in line at checkout - I'm back to my friendly, talkative self. Overall, when someone has a "don't talk to me right now" attitude, it shows...I think, anyway. The reverse, however, isn't always the case. I agree with this. If I'm at a bookstore, it's to shop. If I feel someone approaching, I turn my body away and make no eye contact. I'm there to look and buy books. That's it. If I'm sitting at a table with my latté, it's because I'm tired and need a break. Don't bug me. Sorry...
Author christian6 Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 um I guess most people here don't think it's okay then
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