christian6 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 maybe it seems like that to you, but really, I thought that if I'd asked the bartender or someone it would have seemed to obvious and would have made her uncomfortable, that's all. um wouldn't it be obvious or seem desperate if you ask for her number in the first place?!
Trimmer Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 maybe it seems like that to you, but really, I thought that if I'd asked the bartender or someone it would have seemed to obvious and would have made her uncomfortable, that's all. I hear you, but I do feel differently. Maybe it is cultural or an age thing, I don't know. I think that if you have both reached the point of exchanging phone numbers, you have already expressed a mutual interest. My interpretation of these two scenarios are: "can't find a pen, sorry" = "I'm not that interested in you" "I don't have a pen on me, let me go ask the bartender for one" = "You interest me enough that I will work a little for this." I don't see it as desperation, but again, I would be interested in hearing comments from women on this issue - If I'm way off, I'll be open to hearing about it... Desperation would be if you are going around approaching every woman at the wedding, asking for numbers...
Author james123 Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 I hear you, but I do feel differently. Maybe it is cultural or an age thing, I don't know. I think that if you have both reached the point of exchanging phone numbers, you have already expressed a mutual interest. My interpretation of these two scenarios are: "can't find a pen, sorry" = "I'm not that interested in you" "I don't have a pen on me, let me go ask the bartender for one" = "You interest me enough that I will work a little for this." I don't see it as desperation, but again, I would be interested in hearing comments from women on this issue - If I'm way off, I'll be open to hearing about it... Desperation would be if you are going around approaching every woman at the wedding, asking for numbers... don't know, but I think it would be too desperate to ask the bartender or waiter
sb129 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Ok James, well I am a woman, and if you made an effort to get a pen from a bartender, i would be impressed. I would be even MORE impressed if you made an effort to call the mutual contact to get my number. it would say to me "this guy has balls, this guy is interested and he isn't afraid to show it" It would also show some confidence, which is very attractive. How old are you? Girls LIKE it when guys make an effort. If guys can't be arsed, then generally the girls don't give them a second thought.
sb129 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 PS If you did get the number, I would NOT be impressed if you didn't end up calling. As that is worse than not getting the number in the first place.
alphamale Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Ok James, well I am a woman, and if you made an effort to get a pen from a bartender, i would be impressed. ONLY if you were interested in going out with him...otherwise you'd be rolling your eyes. Many women give out their number just to "be nice" and have no intention of dating the guy. Happens all the time. I would be even MORE impressed if you made an effort to call the mutual contact to get my number. it would say to me "this guy has balls, this guy is interested and he isn't afraid to show it" once again SB129...only if you were genuinely interested. Otherwise you'd think he's a freak stalker.
sb129 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 yeah yeah, but the guy SAID he was interested we don't know her side of the story. I can usually tell if there is a spark, and I would never give my number out just to be nice! And if a guy did go to that effort, and I wasn't interested, i would let him down gently, not think he was a stalker! I am quite assertive any way and would probably eat someone like james for breakfast.
alphamale Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 I am quite assertive any way and would probably eat someone like james for breakfast. Can I have the thighs?
christian6 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 ONLY if you were interested in going out with him...otherwise you'd be rolling your eyes. Many women give out their number just to "be nice" and have no intention of dating the guy. Happens all the time. lol that often happens at clubs.
sb129 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Most people can read a situation to gauge whether they think going down the whole exchanging number road is worth it or not- or can't they? Hopefully I never need to worry about it again anyway, Wonderboy is more than enough for me.
alphamale Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Most people can read a situation to gauge whether they think going down the whole exchanging number road is worth it or not- or can't they? I would gander that more women are able to guage social situations correctly than men.
Author james123 Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 yeah yeah, but the guy SAID he was interested we don't know her side of the story. I can usually tell if there is a spark, and I would never give my number out just to be nice! And if a guy did go to that effort, and I wasn't interested, i would let him down gently, not think he was a stalker! I am quite assertive any way and would probably eat someone like james for breakfast. huh?? what on earth?
sb129 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 I can honestly say I have never given my number out just to be nice. I have had someone give me theirs, and it turned out to be WRONG! James are you in UK? Have you heard FlirtDivert.... oh that is so funny. For those of you who don't live here, its a number that the radio station tell people to give out to those who ask for your number and you don't want to give them your real one. then they play back all the messages that have been left over the weekend, some of them are hilarious. ranging from "you left your socks here" to death threats.
Author james123 Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 I can honestly say I have never given my number out just to be nice. I have had someone give me theirs, and it turned out to be WRONG! James are you in UK? Have you heard FlirtDivert.... oh that is so funny. For those of you who don't live here, its a number that the radio station tell people to give out to those who ask for your number and you don't want to give them your real one. then they play back all the messages that have been left over the weekend, some of them are hilarious. ranging from "you left your socks here" to death threats. how did you know?
sb129 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 huh?? what on earth? No offense james, but I think it comes with being a bit older and having the experiences of having been messed around a fair bit by men. IF I was back on the dating scene, i would be very straight up with someone, because I hate all that agonising will s/he won't he bollocks. I am not scary... much.
sb129 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 how did you know? Just do. English guys are different to american guys, and there are alot of american guys on loveshack. Please don't ask me why, its an observation not a criticism, and I don't want to offend anyone.
sb129 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Actually i will tell you one reason why. I don't think many american guys would worry about being seen as desperate. Am I right alpha?
Author james123 Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 oh well ok. yeah, I didn't want to look desperate and make her feel uncomfortable. that's why I didn't ask the staff there.
alphamale Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 I don't think many american guys would worry about being seen as desperate. Am I right alpha? can you elaborate SB129?
sb129 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 can you elaborate SB129? I am trying to think.... and i can't really articulate it that well. Ok, at risk of getting flamed, and as a massive generalisation, american guys seem a bit more confident than english guys do. Only IME. English guys are a little more reserved. James I think its sweet you didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. Do you think there was chemistry between you?
sb129 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 thats cool. so why not try get her number? Then you won't be wondering what if?
alphamale Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Ok, at risk of getting flamed, and as a massive generalisation, american guys seem a bit more confident than english guys do. Only IME. English guys are a little more reserved. Yes I would sort of agree with that...but many of the english lads who come over here for business have no problem finding action. But I guess their english companies wouldn't be sending the nerdy guys over here
Author james123 Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 thats cool. so why not try get her number? Then you won't be wondering what if? no, not now. I know a lot of people may not agree, but I think it's a bit too much. Maybe, I should have asked someone there, you know, for a pen, because she was willing to give me her number after all..
sb129 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Yes I would sort of agree with that...but many of the english lads who come over here for business have no problem finding action. But I guess their english companies wouldn't be sending the nerdy guys over here Maybe. But being English might be enough for them to score chicks over there..... being foreign can mean you are instantly attractive to some people. no, not now. I know a lot of people may not agree, but I think it's a bit too much. Maybe, I should have asked someone there, you know, for a pen, because she was willing to give me her number after all.. Oh, well i am sorry james. Guess she is the one that got away huh. No regrets. Sneak your mobile into your pocket next time and put it on silent. be a rebel.
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