Author buffalobill Posted May 19, 2007 Author Posted May 19, 2007 Ok guys, it has been two weeks since the event and there are some new developments. Intimately after the event she acknowledged to her friends that I had lost a lot of weight but was unaffected by seeing me. Two weeks later, she is telling her friends that she is very depressed after seeing me. Furthermore, she contacted my Mother on Mothers Day to wish her well. I think maybe she is attempting put her foot in the door, smoothing things out with my mother first in hopes of a preliminary endorsement of some kind. My mother felt this maybe her intention from the conversation. Or, maybe I am reading too much into this and she is just being nice. Just to clarify the root of her sudden stated depression and give further background is the follow: I have three young children (10, 8, & 5) from a previous marriage that she adored. Our breakup was very hard on them initially at first, especially on my oldest son. They had a very special bond. He asked if he could continue to communicate with her via e-mail & I agreed. My reason (right or wrong) was that I didn’t want to rip her out of his life and feel pain as I did. They have communicating several time a week about very high type stuff, and never a mention of “Dad” Now the ex is saying that seeing me made realize how much she misses the kids and wants to see them. (item of note, no mention of me, just the kids) She also wants to communicate these feelings and her intention of contacting me for a meeting with me & the children to her already insecure boyfriend and is afraid of his reaction. This being said, she maybe trying to use his over reaction to this against him. Build the case. Also, by using the kids, this gives her a legitimate reason to contact & see me. Moreover there has been a lot of recent probes by her friends regarding my dating status. However, she is also conveying that she is deeply in love with this guy and wants marriage from him. Mixed signals. If she is trying to build this new relationship, why is she so aggressively maintaining contact with my family? Any thoughts? My friends are warning me that she “Is a coming” and this makes me very nervous. Everyday that goes by I get a little more numb to her. However, I just don’t know how I will feel if she makes an attempt at a reconciliation.
Yamaha Posted May 20, 2007 Posted May 20, 2007 I would say no about letting her have contact with your kids. It will be even harder on them if she comes into their lives again and then up and leave when/if it suits her fancy. You still don't get it. You should be happy such a women is out of your life and you do not want her back in it. You want to know if she still wants you. You should not care if she wants you because of her past actions. She has no place in your life and that is what you should tell yourself. She would be happy if she thinks you still want/desire her. The earrings are a prime example. She wore them to see your reaction; to see if she can make you suffer. You played the event well and you should go on with your life and find someone who deserves you (as this women does not). Sorry to be harsh but I think you are doing yourself a dis-service and wishing/hoping for this gal is counter-productive. There are so many other women out there that are a much better person.
Guest Posted May 20, 2007 Posted May 20, 2007 I tend to agree with Yamaha. My Ex after 3 years ...5 weeks of NC sent me his kids fundraiser and i contributed and responded. I was 50/50 if it was a feeler to make contact. Well I did to only be informed of a list of faults.."I read between the lines and i knew your love was gone so I moved on" crap which made me feel worse for I was healing. He informed me he was seeing several folks and that he had moved on. If I would have made contact earlier things would have been different. blammed my career and even admitted he knew being a single parent I needed that job and knew I could do anything about. Justification for why he dumped me because I cant fix it. My theory they give excuses for things that know you cant fix to blame you for how they feel versus being and adult and be honest. Which is cowardly. I struggled personally with just tell me the truth, but it makes me feel worse. So I wigged and analyized. I had to go to therapy it was killing me. I just could not understand why he made contact to belittle me. why just NC Got an email now you see why it was so easy to move on. I responded ..reading that is assurance this is the right think for both of us. (It is easy for him to move on that easy then I need to be running) Then I get I'm glad you are over me its the right thing for both of us.(could be poking me for a ole baby tellme you arent over me or hey I'm free my guilty head conscience. People that love you don't want to hurt you and play games. I love this man but i've been humiliated enough. It took 3 week of sheer humiliated to learn HE IS NOT INTO ME! So I think you should take some time for yourself and if you're looking hot enjoy yourself. It easy to put them on a pedestal when you are broke up, but games make it tougher on you to heal. She might be seeing if you want her back to only reject you to justify that uncertainity. Thats my experience which is cruel ..because you gotta wonder if they are so happy why do they want you to feel bad. It's been killing me too. It's so hard.... Just dont set yourself up to be scorned! I don't understand it either, I just know NC is better than analyzing how they treat you
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