cassano203 Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Hi everyone, i'm a long time reader and 1st time poster, I 've been with my gf for the magic length of time according to a post i saw in the breakup section, a little over 2.5 years. We got together in college, she left her boyfriend for me, I wasn't looking for a gf at the time but things clicked. I should also mention she cheated on me with her ex bf about a month after we got together, I let it slide, he was her 1st boyfriend and her 1st lover and basically did anything he could to get her back for one last tryst. fast forward a few months later, she gets pregnant. She wasn't on the pill and after hearing her mention a couple of times how her ex didnt use condoms, i decided to hit it raw and well i guess i paid the price when she was on top and wouldnt/didnt get off when i told her i was about to... so, she got pregnant, we're both catholic, we both have stricter than strict parents so neither of our parents could find out. I moved to another apartment some distance from our school so other students at our school wouldn't find out. We decided to give the baby up for adoption and thats what we did. Around this time, I developed a small case of ED(erectile dysfunction), and i was 22, yeah, it sux. So from that point on i had to use some of the magic blue pills. That's one of the lowest points of my life, i know i didnt develop it because of her because she turns me on without a doubt, but i think it was the whole baby-making incident that screwed with me. right now i'm still trying to get back to normal business without the use of the blue pill. we had a few arguements over the course of our relationship, we're both from diff. cultures, she's american, i'm not. In my culture when your parents come to visit, they stay with you. Apparently in american culture according to her, when your parents come to visit they stay in a hotel. well we had arguments over that, and then I had my mum stay with me for a week or so last summer after graduating college, this brought out the whiner in my gf as she had to stay in her dorm room instead of my apartment while my mum was around. I always keep that incident/time period at the back of my mind as to how she acts. fast forward a while now. After graduating college, we both got jobs last year, i got fired for not meeting the sales goals at my job earlier this year. as soon as i told her about it, she b*tched at me to no end about getting fired, said it was my bad attitude towards the job and how I needed to be more like her, my response was i had a bad attitude when talking about my job to her, i wasn't stupid enough to bring it to work. lo and behold, last month she gets fired from her job despite being perfect at work, never missing work and doing everything expected of her. well, financially things have been kind of tough and she's had to take care of some bills, but has been on my case for not looking for a job. Now let me clarify, I refused to look for a part-time job, i'm looking for a full time job and have been getting a few interviews and attending job fairs etc, i just don't want to look for a part-time job. Well this week she got into me again about my job search, naturally i was pissed off and decided to go for a drive on my own, prob. stop at barnes and nobles and half price books. She then tells me she wants me to get some book or map from half price for her, i then tell her i'm not 100% sure i'm going to half-price as i've never been to the location i was going to look for. She then says she wants to come along with me, i refuse and she doesnt want to take no for an answer so i drive away. While on my way back home, i check my voicemail and see she called, she leaves me a message saying she deleted everything i had taped on the dvr. I'm a huge soccer and basketball fan and I had a lot of highlight shows from NBA TV and the soccer channel on cable taped and i would catch up on them day by day. well i get home and she's deleted each one. She tells me she was just emotional and deleted it, she didnt think i'd be upset. I let her know thats the biggest bunch of sh*t i've ever heard, she knew i'd be upset thats why she deleted it. She tells me the most unremorseful sorry i've ever heard and i just tell her not to speak to me because i don't know what might come out of my mouth. we didnt talk for a day or two as i was beyond pissed. So she decides to talk yesterday and keeps asking me why am i angry, i respond that she knows why, she got on my case for not looking for a pt job and then deleted my stuff on the dvr. She then tells me she found some porn I had on the pc. My desktop is down and i just bought a new one which isnt hooked up yet so we've had to use her laptop. I did have some porn sites bookmarked on my user on her laptop. well she found them and got pissed, she then told me her parents got her a ticket to go back home so she can save money in her job search. She then mentions thats probably a reason we didnt have sex much, because I was looking at porn, i then remind her that since last fall when we both got jobs, I've been the one initiating sex, i've been the one trying to make something happen before going to sleep on a weekday or right after coming back from work. She would come up with one thing or another and i got tired of trying to make it happen when she didnt feel like doing the same. We weren't the only people with full time jobs that had a relationship, others were in the same position and still found time for sex so why couldnt we. She then asks me if i want to stay in the relationship or break up, i tell her i'm not thinking of it now i'll let her know when i thing about it. (i'm a sarcastic *******, i know). She says that i have a porn addiction, (I laugh), and that she's tired of everything and is disgusted and doesnt know if she wants to stay. I'll also mention that my gf is absolutely beautiful and i over-achieved massively in getting her. I do look at porn sometimes but i'd say 85-90% of the time i don't do anything as i'd rather look at her than look at a pornstar. Now when we get in arguments i would look at it sometimes but for the most part it would do nothing for me as i'd rather be with her than any pornstar. well i get up this morning and decide to check her phone to see if she actually talked to her parents, turns out she did and she also sent text messages to her ex boyfriend. Trying to set up a time and place to meet. (even worse he tells her he has tickets to a certain nba teams playoff game tonight and asks her if she's a fan of the team or another team which i happen to support, she responds that of course she's a fan of his team, he made her enjoy/love basketball, that pisses me off to no end as i'm crazy about my teams). What also pisses me off is the fact she's trying to talk/chill with her ex again. If she wants to leave I would rather help her find another guy in the city we live than have her date her ex again. I know she could do better than me but she could also do better than her ex, there's a reason she left him for me. well, to close this out, i want to know what i should do, should we stay together or go our separate ways. ANY advice is helpful, thanks.
Author cassano203 Posted April 22, 2007 Author Posted April 22, 2007 Let me apologize for the length of the post, i'm real sorry i was just pouring everything out. And i hope at least it gives some people a few laughs that at least their relationship isnt as f*cked up as mine. Thanks for all the help.
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