Author polywog Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 Good morning polywog, I really don't want to the person who kicks you when you're down, but I have to ask one question. Are you completely moved out yet? I had to ask as your cyber friend. My friends wallow in my pity right along with me for just so long, and then they pull me to my feet and insist that I start walking on my own perfectly capable two legs. It's time to get up and start walking again. I would carry/drag you out myself if I could. I would have taken you to your new place and packed up your belongings for you if that was what it took. I know your story well. I know your particular circumstances concerning moving out. Still I feel that the slow pace has kept you "stuck" in place for too long. I'm not sure if it was on one of your threads, but I used an analogy regarding band-aids and breakups. Ripping the band-aid off creates much pain, but it's short lived pain. Removing the band-aid slowly, pulling on each individual hair it clings to, is prolonging the pain and suffering. After all, the band-aid still has to be removed. How can you possibly move on and begin healing when you see him daily? I just don't see that it could be possible for me to cope in those circumstances. I do understand the reconciliation wishful thinking, but he can't miss you and all that you have brought to his life when you're still such a big part of it. I think it may have put him in shock mode had you been able to leave much sooner. A sudden cutting off of whats normal and comfortable is much harder to handle than a slow change of life as we know it. That slow change is what you may feel was necessary for you, but I think it hasn't helped ease you into your new situation at all. Maybe it has, I can't really know what's best for you. It just seems to be extending a very painful period for you from an outsider looking in point of view. I want so much for you to be in a more peaceful era. You CAN move on, I see your strength very clearly in many posts. You CAN move on, you CAN move on, you CAN move on...... No DDL, My stuff is still there. Not even all of it is packed up yet. I just get sick everytime I come over and can only stay a little while. What's worse is sometimes I bring my laptop over and just sit up hidden in my little old ex-office and post here instead of packing. I know I know. Part of this has been logisitics. There is a new place that I may be able to move into in a few weeks, so my friends and even the ex have said not to bother to move it twice, he doesn't mind of I keep it here. Now that I know that he's still seeing the woman, though, I do think I need to get it all out....somewhere. My friend who has offered to help me do all the moving is out of town, and has been busy, which I confess I've used as an excuse. Yes, I just have to bite the bullet. I have been so weak. I have felt so damaged, but I know that getting the h*ll out and away is really something I Have to do. To move on. This business with the packing etc. has been something I'm very ashamed about. I think a big part of it is the uncertainty of where I will end up, as the possible new place is not a done deal (just a very close possibility). I'm scared of finances, etc. I have been a little paralized by this, dumb as it is. Anyhow, thanks for your smart tough-love post. I feel the caring floating through space, and I sure do appreciate it
Storyrider Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Down by the River... Down by the banks of the River Charles (Oh, that's what's happenin' baby) That's where you'll find me Along with lovers, fuggers, and thieves. (Ahh, but they're cool people) I love that dirty water 'Oh oh, Boston, you're my home Yes! Now I remember it! And the water really is quite dirty. I don't live there now, but in grad school my dorm was right on the bank of the river Charles, on Beacon street. Sorry I don't have any advice to add to your thread, poly. Just sending you good vibes.
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