andy5128 Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Hi All Really need advice on how to approach things!! Well first of all a quick update on my situation, was with my ex for just short of a year and a half. Things were good upto the last few months, I had some financial worries etc and decided to deal with them myself and bottle my problems. I started to pull away from her to protect her I thought from the way I was feeling about my issues and so on. Anyway she obviously felt left out and unwanted, neglected. So she dumped me end of Jan this year. Did all the needy kinda thing for a while and asked for a second chance a week or so later but she didnt want to try again. I then moved to Low Contact so just the occasional email or text etc and she always responded but very to the point and non engaging. Decided to go full no contact towards the end of March so gone about a month now. From my time in low contact I have been working out (go to gym 4 nights a week) and feeling great, cut down on smoking and hope to quit soon!, also been sorting myself out in terms of my worries about my finances and so on and feel comfortable with it all now and also making steps to get myself a better job. Okay so decided to contact her yesterday as I just felt ready to and my emotions are now in check and and significant amount of time has passed since the last contact. Sent a casual "how are you?" text to her, now usually if I had done that a month or so back I would of got a "fine thanks, take care" kinda response. Well this time she responded with how she was doing, that she was just on her way to london with her girl friends for a day shopping and also asked how I was doing..! Left it a while and decided to take it to the next level and called her.. she picked up and we chatted away for 15 mins or so, I asked her as the conversation was peaking kinda thing if she would like to catch up sometime soon. She agreed and suggested meeting at a bar in just over a weeks time as I am away this week on a course. So after all of the above and sorry for the rambling,how do I approach this. This will be more of a casual get together and as after work which was going to be my idea to her too it will more than likely just be for an hour or so. I have read that How to get my ex back e-book by Brain Canglia I think his name is and he suggests a short get together first. I want to give the best impression I can and make her realise what she has been missing kinda thing and put myself in a position to want to catch up again and then build that bond between us and continue from there. So your thoughts on how to approach this evening and what to do and not do what be really appreciated... Thanks Andy
sb129 Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Don't be too over the top (ie expensive restaurant) or you will look desperate. Don't be too enthusiastic and tell her absolutely every detail of your life since you have been apart- hold a few things back! Don't expect too much..... sorry it had to be said. Don't get drunk together. Do make an effort to look good. Be interested in her and how shes been (without being ott) Sorry if this sounds really negative, I hope it works out! Good luck!
Author andy5128 Posted April 22, 2007 Author Posted April 22, 2007 Thanks SB. I will take on board your advice and your right I wont expect too much. It's early days and will approach it with the advice you have given. It's not for another week yet but will keep everyone posted. Thanks Andy
Yamaha Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 You should realize thast she might be viewing this as a friendship kind of relationship and not a potential second chance. She told you before that she didn't want to get back together so you should go in with that attitude. I usually suggest to NEVER go back to the well a second time as things rarely turn out good. I would let things happen naturally and not put your eggs in one basket ( by looking for other potential romantic partners ). Keep it short and look for her to want to take it to the next level, not you.
Author andy5128 Posted April 22, 2007 Author Posted April 22, 2007 Hi Yamaha Thanks for your advice, I think your right in that she may well be viewing this as more friendship than a second chance. She did refuse me a second chance previously but that was quite soon after the break up end of Jan and now end of April so a while back. I am not viewing this as anything more than a catch up with an old friend kinda thing. I will then if she wishes to meet up again just go with the flow. If someone else comes along then I will cross that bridge when it comes and I dont plan to put my eggs in one basket as nothing may come of this other than friendship. Thanks for your input. Cheers Andy
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