alextop30 Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Ok here is a little story of my life - my mom and my dad seem to have lived mostly ok through my childhood with my dad usually doing the diciplin and the mom everything else. My mom was not suppoce to talk when my father was talking to us. So here we are 12 years later my mom is tired of all the **** through the years and she is telling my father that he is not right and that he should shut up and listen for once. They have been on the verge of divorse for about 2 years now. Every day new argument it got to the point of breaking dishes and - getting my brother's gun (police officer) so my mom can shoot my dad. CAN I PLZ ASK HOW DO I SHUT THEM UP. I am tired of their **** every day there is screaming on some occation. I just want them to shut up and divorse or live together - for 2 years no friend has come at home no one of the old friends have kept in contact so now I have no friends. I go to school as you all might know. Well that is not very easy to do around them too. When they are not fighting they are mad and I am checked on ever 5 minutes I cannot sit inside my room without being accused of playing a video game or just interupted from stying to listen to their **** and I am fed up with it. Need some advice
killed_the_cat Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 I would do something to grab their attention. personally I'd mimick them and show them how ridiculous they are acting like throwing dishes at them. Do they ignore you? Or do they listen and just not care? Have you ever told them your thoughts on the issue? I would write I long well thought out letter and place it on their pillows.
lei66 Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 I am so sorry that you are going thru this......Parents can be so freaking stupid....I feel for you. Sounds like my house when i was a kid....I don't really know how to make it better you might try talking to whichever one you think is more reasonable....at least they may try to take your feelings into consideration before they start fighting back....I know as a parent I would....I hope things get better....
Author alextop30 Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 So what can I tell you - I am ignored - I am not allowed to break things because it is not respective of my parents- a bunch of bs. Also when I try to say something interrupted by my father who constantly does a monologue because he talks about 99.9% of the time and DOES NOT LISTEN AT all. He is so thick headed that he rather loose his family than admit that he is wrong and that he should stop. I have thought of calling the police on them and I will probably today or tomorrow so they could go to jail for a little and realize that this is not the way to do it. I can understand my mother and I do support her but my father JUST DONT GET IT what do I do - if you can measure hard headedness his will top the charts.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Honey, If noone is in danger calling the police might not be a good idea. Is there anyone that your father listens to. A friend, relative, brother, father? Perhaps if you tell your story (not your parents) to someone he will listen to they can get his attention, maybe not. By involving the authorities you could possibly get yourself into a foster situation and those can be horrific. I know your hurting and frustrated, the adults only worried about their things. Can you put on head phones to block them out. Why are you not allowed to play video games when they are fighting? I understand about not having friends over when you never know if there is going to be a blow up. You can't fix your parents and their problems are not your fault. Is there not a friend in your neighborhood that you could hang with at his house? I'm sorry I don't have any good advise for you, maybe someone on here might. Getting there attention by doing something wrong IS NOT THE ANSWER. You don't want to do anything to hurt your self (in the long run I mean). My daughter had a friend who went to a school counselor about problems in her parents marriage and was taken out of the home and put into a worse situation in a foster home. Think before you act. Sorry things are so bad right now.
lei66 Posted April 24, 2007 Posted April 24, 2007 I can understand my mother and I do support her but my father JUST DONT GET IT what do I do - if you can measure hard headedness his will top the charts.Do you think you could talk to your mom? Could you tell her that a divorce would be good? A lot of times parents don't realize that kids actually wish they would split up.... I would try to talk to her....
magda Posted April 24, 2007 Posted April 24, 2007 I agree that you should call the police when it reaches a level of violence.
dropdeadlegs Posted April 24, 2007 Posted April 24, 2007 Hi alex, I can see that you are hurting by the fighting that is going on within your home. You mentioned a brother. Does he know about his gun being used in their altercations? I think that speaking to him about this is better than actually calling the police at this point. He needs to know if his police issued weapon is being used in that way. I'm so sorry you are in this situation. A child should never have to feel the need to intervene in the problems of his parents. Unfortunately it does happen. If you feel that there is the need to do so, talk to your school counselor. They are required by law to report a dangerous situation. Do not remain in a situation that is dangerous to you or others. I'm not liking this reference to the gun. I also worry that if the appropriate people don't ACT appropriately that you will suffer more at home by speaking of this. I've heard too many stories of the system failing the victim. I have considered deleting this twice before posting. I'm so torn about what to do. I feel very helpless.
Author alextop30 Posted April 25, 2007 Author Posted April 25, 2007 In my house the most stupid things happen. I have talked to my brother and he has taken the nessary steps to avoid what happened from happening again but the biggest problem is really is Listening I believe - when a person listens he is active in a conversation not in a monologue with himself. By not listening my father (who knows every thing or as he states) does not realize that he drives the people that love him the most away and by doing that he does not realize that at the end if me, my mom and my brother leave he will be all alone and there is going to be no one to care for him. Ok first before I continue I want to say I am 19 and I will not go to foster care if I call the athorities - Next I was thinking to do that so I can have their heads cool off and for them see what is really outside of this situation. I really do want my parents to be together for the rest of their lives - but if they cannot live together so be it I would support a decition that they make. I only wish that they would stop the pointless arguing braking and act as grown people. I am 19 I have had times where I wanted to hit my father with something because he simply doesnt get it but I have calmed myself down and I kept trying. People with about 40 years experiance should not be behaving in this immature facion.
Touche Posted April 25, 2007 Posted April 25, 2007 Yes, I would try to talk to your mother or sit them BOTH down and talk to them like the man you now are. After that, if things don't change, I'd move out. You're an adult now. Their problems are theirs to sort out. You're no longer a minor. Start a life of your own and love them each as much as you can. I think that will be easier to do if you're not around the daily drama. I wish you the best in this.
Author alextop30 Posted April 26, 2007 Author Posted April 26, 2007 See I have thought of that a lot Touche - there is a big problem with my moving out - first I am in college - huge payements for me to go study - I have couple of loans on top of my back that I have to worrie about second I only have a part time job which will definatelly not get me through and pay for apartment to live in. I have made plans to move out soon I am working on a better job and also looking for apartments - but I am afraid for my mom - My dad gets very violent when he is mad - he has hit things broken things but has not taken a swing at my mom but I believe he will do it. If I am there he will not because he knows I will stop him - I am taller and stronger than my father - I will not fight with him physically I am just going to not let him hit my mom when I am there. But when I leave there is nothing to stop him. So I really have thought about it but not at that point yet.
Recommended Posts