HopelesslyDevoted Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 I have been in a long distance relationship since May of last year. In fact, I am supposed to be going up north (he lives in Ontario, I live in the states) to see him the week of our one year anniversary. When I first booked the flight two months ago, I was on air, so happy that I'd be seeing him again...the last we saw each other was July. But things have been changing, and not for the better. The man who used to jump at every chance to call me just to hear my voice now even makes a good night phone call seem like a great burden. He makes me feel guilty for getting upset and missing him. To make a drawn out story short, he doesn't seem to have much interest in my anymore at all. But, he still tells me that he loves me and that nothing has changed, and nothing will. And every time I believe him, simply because of the fact it hurts too much not to. Right now I literally feel like I have a knife stuck in my chest and someone is twisting it back and forth. We haven't had a real conversation in over a week...we haven't spoken for more than 30 seconds in a few days...I wish I could hold myself together long enough to write in more detail but I can't stop bursting into tears. I know that being almost 9 months away from one another is hard, and doesn't leave a hell of a lot to talk about...I've tried spicing things up via phone sex, but he hardly seems interested in that at all, either. He says it's nothing like the real thing and therefore useless to him. I've been reassured by several people that he's not seeing anyone else, one of whom being his mother, and so that I am inclined to believe. I wonder if I am being too sensitive or needy...I've never been in a long distance relationship before this one. Hell, I've never been in a relationship that lasted more than a few months before this one. I used ot be the kind of girl who, if pissed off or annoyed once by a guy, would drop him in an instant. Yet this one has broken my heart with his thoughtlessness more times than I can count. I don't know what I'm expecting from this thread. Maybe I just needed a place to vent or hear others relate in some way. I know I can't change him, and don't even want to, really. I just want to stop feeling so down all the time.
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