Jim Posted December 4, 1999 Posted December 4, 1999 I posted a message on this board.. http://www.loveshack.org/cgi-bin/lovetalk.pl?read=3811 and got numerous answers to my questions. However, I`m typing to let you know that I did leave and I`m on my own now.. And of course I`ve gone through the feelings of guilt, relief, lonelyness and freedom.. I 'lost' all my friends due to the relationship (I wan`t allowed to keep any of them) - and now I`m quite alone (tho, I have my parents and soon-2-arrive home from uni - Brother).. Does anyone have any recommendations about what I should do to releive this lonelyness? Has anyone else been in this situtation.. I`ve only turned 23, and tell about 35 (!) I`m getting depressed (wish I knew why - I`m usually a very positive person!), even tho I have been out and 'received' attention from the opposite sex.. Everyone's advice is welcome !! Thanks people!!
Sandy Posted December 5, 1999 Posted December 5, 1999 I posted a message on this board.. http://www.loveshack.org/cgi-bin/lovetalk.pl?read=3811 and got numerous answers to my questions. However, I`m typing to let you know that I did leave and I`m on my own now.. And of course I`ve gone through the feelings of guilt, relief, lonelyness and freedom.. I 'lost' all my friends due to the relationship (I wan`t allowed to keep any of them) - and now I`m quite alone (tho, I have my parents and soon-2-arrive home from uni - Brother).. Does anyone have any recommendations about what I should do to releive this lonelyness? Has anyone else been in this situtation.. I`ve only turned 23, and tell about 35 (!) I`m getting depressed (wish I knew why - I`m usually a very positive person!), even tho I have been out and 'received' attention from the opposite sex.. Everyone's advice is welcome !! Thanks people!! I don't really know what your situation was or why you ended things but from what it sounds like, I am in a similar situation. It sounds to me like you were in a relationship with someone who you completely dedicated yourself to and in the process you lost a lot of your friends. I was in a relationship where my boyfriend would get mad at me if I spent time with friends and since I loved him and didn't want him to be mad at me, I stopped hanging out with my friends and spent all my time with him. Needless to say, I no longer have these friends anymore and when my boyfriend and I broke up I was very much alone. I think that the key for me to get on with my life was to find things to do and not obsess about how much I missed him. Finding things to do was tough at first because I had written off all my friends so I guess I started making new ones. I started taking more of an interest in the people I work with and I found that I got along with a lot of them and we began to do some things together. If you don't see anyone at work that you could become friends with, I suggest joining some other groups. There are a lot of ways to meet people. Think of things that you like to do and do them. Remember who you were before you were in the relationship, remember what you did to have fun. You made it through life without your former girlfriend before, you can certainly do it again. Weather it be going to the gym to play basketball or to the local sports bar to watch Monday night football or maybe even going to church, there is something that YOU enjoy doing and by doing these things you are sure to find some people with common interests who you can become friends with and in time you will feel a lot less lonely. You will even find someone who will love you and give you your freedom at the same time. I know it sounds cliche, but hang in there, time really does make things seem less bad. Someday, you really will be greatful that you ended what seemed to be an unhealthy relationship. I hope this helps.
Jim Posted December 5, 1999 Posted December 5, 1999 I don't really know what your situation was or why you ended things but from what it sounds like, I am in a similar situation. It sounds to me like you were in a relationship with someone who you completely dedicated yourself to and in the process you lost a lot of your friends. I was in a relationship where my boyfriend would get mad at me if I spent time with friends and since I loved him and didn't want him to be mad at me, I stopped hanging out with my friends and spent all my time with him. Needless to say, I no longer have these friends anymore and when my boyfriend and I broke up I was very much alone. I think that the key for me to get on with my life was to find things to do and not obsess about how much I missed him. Finding things to do was tough at first because I had written off all my friends so I guess I started making new ones. I started taking more of an interest in the people I work with and I found that I got along with a lot of them and we began to do some things together. If you don't see anyone at work that you could become friends with, I suggest joining some other groups. There are a lot of ways to meet people. Think of things that you like to do and do them. Remember who you were before you were in the relationship, remember what you did to have fun. You made it through life without your former girlfriend before, you can certainly do it again. Weather it be going to the gym to play basketball or to the local sports bar to watch Monday night football or maybe even going to church, there is something that YOU enjoy doing and by doing these things you are sure to find some people with common interests who you can become friends with and in time you will feel a lot less lonely. You will even find someone who will love you and give you your freedom at the same time. I know it sounds cliche, but hang in there, time really does make things seem less bad. Someday, you really will be greatful that you ended what seemed to be an unhealthy relationship. I hope this helps. Thanks for typing this, it really makes sense.. I suppose in many ways I managed fine without her the first time, infact I really enjoyed myself.. I had to laugh when you said 'that you took more interest in ur friends at work' - funny I had been doing just that, trying to see what other people (in my situation, i.e. single) are doing with thenselves.. I have talked to plently of people who give enough freedom to there partner, something I think everyone needs.. THANKS!! Jim
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