Icantletgo Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 So after the whole texting/myspace fiasco I am on NC day 1. I know it is for the best....but why can't I breathe. Why do i miss this cheating loser??? I love him still...But I need to be strong. Good news though: he put his profile on private. This is the best for me so i won't be constantly checking it. I'm really depressed and sad right now. I know he is in love w/ another girl and I know that I am his past....but it's so hard for me to see him as my past when i still see him as my future. Give me strength God. I dont know how you do it ariawoman and loveinlife! Give me strength! We need to stick together. Ps. Many of you are saying he will call me/text me. but I think this is it...it actually makes me sad because his birthday is next week and we've spent the past 3 birthdays together.
loveinlife Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 That is very tough, especially when his birthday is coming up. I had a hard time on my ex bday the first year post break up. I did the wrong thing by sending her flowers. Don't follow my example. I won't be able to give any advice on this one, its up to you because you understand how you feel. Its not easy Ican, it definitely is not. I have lots of friends who support me and with all of help from the people at LS,like you who i can talk to, contributes a lot to my recovery. My ex has contacted me everyday throughout this whole week. She even asked to go eat lunch today, but i told her i was busy. She then called again, but i didn't pick up. She doesn't tell me what she wants and yet i can't be her doormat for the rest of my life and disregard my own happiness. If our ex's really cared about us, they would not put us in the situation we are in, to feel misery. They are selfish( my ex told me that last wednesday to keep me hanging around while dating someone else) and inconsiderate to our feelings. We will only be slaves to them if allow this to happen. As for me, im letting her free so she can be happy. If she finds a better guy, good for her. I wish her the best just don't come crawling back when things don't work out. Best wishes cup cake! =)
Shadowdog36 Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 His birthday is next week??? Perfect. He's going to be having the same thoughts that you do...namely, that you two spent the last 3 together. Let him deal with that on his own. This is your golden opportunity to redefine the "relationship" at this point. If you contact, even something small, you'll push and you'll hate yourself for it. This is your opportunity to let him know that you've moved on, and could care less about his b-day. Believe me, the significance of not hearing from you on that day will not be lost on him. And the significance of not contacting him on that day will be a huge step for you. Do not acknowledge him on his birthday, even if he fishes for you to say something. Let him experience one on his own, without you.
Teacher's Pet Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 My ex left me shortly before my birthday, and it really hurt, knowing I went all-out for hers. Now I'm around Day 300 of NC, and I'm so better off. -tp and still celibate.
Trialbyfire Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 Yes, it's best not to acknowledge his birthday or any special occasions between you. Take him off your friends list on myspace so you don't get the birthday reminder and make sure your profile is set to private too.
surfnbro74 Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 everyone is right. pretty much the best advices you gonna get for your situation. its your first day of nc so "yes" its still hurts and its gonna be that way for a little while, but in time it will get better day by day. keep it up icantletgo you are on the right track. remember to breathe and if you must take deep breath when you are hurt, sad, stress, angry and etc....just breathe it alllll out mam, get all those negative feelings out. good luck surfer
2ndIINone Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 I dont know how you do it ariawoman and loveinlife! Give me strength! They can do it, because the first thing they did was take their ex's down off the pedastal they once had them on. YOU still hold your ex up high on the pedastal.... as if... he's a good guy. Didn't he cheat? Your name alone "Icantletgo" says it all. You need to focus, focus and focus s'more. Don't sweat his birthday, he cheated. Don't sweat his new girl.... he cheated. Don't keep saying you love him.... HE CHEATED! So where was his love for you? Take his @ss down off the high pedastal you once held him on. I read your posts and sense a touch of "I can't do better then him..." You need to change that attitude of yours or you'll never get through it. Sorry to be so blunt, but you don't have any anger for this punk... only sadness... you need to move past the sadness and on into the anger stage because THIS stage is where you'll realize YOU DESERVE BETTER THEN THIS LIL' KID!!! Focus on your selfasteem... because it's definately low right now...
sb129 Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 One of the other posters - I forget who off the top of my head, sorry!- on here is giving herself a little reward for each day of NC she gets thru. Its a great idea! Maybe you should try the same...... Even if its just some flowers or a new book, it will give you incentive to keep going AND give you something to focus on.
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