am I being ditched?

[alphamale]

you seem to like the emotionally unavailable men LL

 

but then again many women do...

[LoveLace]

Yikes!

 

Let me get this straight...You are afraid you are being ditched by the guy you want to take to a wedding as a date, who also happens to have a live-in girlfriend, and you want to take him mostly just to make your roommate jealous?

 

How does a person get into a situation like this? I know this will probably offend you, but I have to ask: do you thrive on drama? Do you think it makes your life more exciting, more interesting?

 

If I were you, I'd forget taking that guy. I'd go on my own, take the time to have a little fun and clear my head. Then I'd do one of two things - either move out already, or tell my roommate in crispy clear terms exactly how I felt about him and why I felt the need to move out...and then move out. Then I'd take a vacation or a weekend trip, hang out with the girlfriends, and just get away from the situation, emotionally and mentally.

 

When I get back, I'd check my answering machine, and if there's one from the roommate telling me he's madly in love with me, ok good, we'll take it from there. If there's nothing, I'd just move on, and avoid pursuing men who are already in relationships or who don't have my best interests at heart.

 

I mean, I know there are things in life we can't control - and here I'm talking things like the death of a family member - but you clearly have control over the situation. I know you may think that you don't, maybe you're convinced that you don't. YOU DO. But do you want to do anything about it?

 

Thrive on drama? The last thing I want is drama, I just want to have as much fun as possible, and if my RM acts jealous, then I'll know he's jealous, and that's it. I could deal with that later. It isn't like I'm hoping for some big scene to occur. I barely plan on even talking to my RM at the event (since he has a date), but I'd notice if he acted different towards me. Even then, I wouldn't be doing anything about it right at that moment. I'd still finish out the night and have fun.

 

And I'm stuck in a lease with him until August 1. Even if I wanted to move before then, I can't because I'm not financially able at the moment. And get-aways are a bit hard for me..I work full time and attend nursing school at night AND on weekends. This is all the more why I wish I could just have a fun date for one measly night!

[stillafool]

I can't believe you are in your 30's and thinking like this. This guy has a GF and you know it but yet you still pursue him. You said he was into another girl a couple of months ago but wouldn't break up with his GF so obviously she is the one he cares about. You say you don't really care about this guy yet you will go to his job to "get a straight answer" as to whether he will take you to the party. I hate to tell you this but you sound and are acting desperate. If you take him to the party to make your RM jealous it will probably backfire on you because it is a lie. He is not your man he is someone elses. He will leave you and go back to someone else. Yet, the "hottie" your RM will be with will be his GF and how will that make you feel. How do you know that your RM may see your guy with you that night and go out for pizza the next and see the same guy with his real GF. How will you look to your RM then?

 

This is the reason men don't show women more respect because women like you have no respect for other women. BTW, whenever someone is purposely trying to make you jealous it is so obvious. Don't be surprised if your plan doesn't turn your RM totally off and he ends up feeling sorry for you.

 

Why don't you just hire an escort?

[LoveLace]

I can't believe you are in your 30's and thinking like this. This guy has a GF and you know it but yet you still pursue him. You said he was into another girl a couple of months ago but wouldn't break up with his GF so obviously she is the one he cares about. You say you don't really care about this guy yet you will go to his job to "get a straight answer" as to whether he will take you to the party. I hate to tell you this but you sound and are acting desperate. If you take him to the party to make your RM jealous it will probably backfire on you because it is a lie. He is not your man he is someone elses. He will leave you and go back to someone else. Yet, the "hottie" your RM will be with will be his GF and how will that make you feel. How do you know that your RM may see your guy with you that night and go out for pizza the next and see the same guy with his real GF. How will you look to your RM then?

 

This is the reason men don't show women more respect because women like you have no respect for other women. BTW, whenever someone is purposely trying to make you jealous it is so obvious. Don't be surprised if your plan doesn't turn your RM totally off and he ends up feeling sorry for you.

 

Why don't you just hire an escort?

 

............................................................

 

1. I do not "pursue" the guy. I was told by his good friend that he and the GF are not together and he suggested I ask him to the party. So I did. And he said yes. And if I've seen him since then, he's the one who has been flirting hard with ME. And I still don't know what his deal is with the GF is for sure, and the reason it doesn't matter to me is because I DON"T WANT TO DATE HIM beyond the wedding reception. I could care less if he wants anything to do with me after that! We will always be friends!

 

2. And my cousin, his good friend, is the one who thinks I should visit him at work to get a confirmation because he thinks I deserve a personal answer from him after promising me the favor. I even said I'm skeptical about doing that, but my cousin said it's no big deal cuz he already sees me there all the time anyway. And my cousin is a guy by the way. He did suggest to find another date if I don't know anything by later tonight. But he doesn't seem to think the date would care if I went to his work tonight. Chances are I'd be going there tonight anyway, no matter who is working, cuz it's my hang out. And I don't plan on going out of my way to do it, cuz I might be too tired to even bother. I won't call him either.

 

3. My roommate does not even believe in monogomy. He always talks about how everybody should be able to have as many boy/girlfriends as they want. He is the one who says he's taking TWO women to the reception!!! His King Sh*t attitude is the reason why I'm moving out later (on top other reasons) and I'm not able to move sooner. And just because I want to see if he gets jealous, doesn't mean I want to make anything out of it. I'll keep it to myself and feel satisfied. And if he isn't jealous, I don't care.

 

4. All I wanted was a fun date to a wedding reception. HIS friend told me him and the GF split up, so that's what I went into the whole thing with. And I still don't know the truth. I was actually planning on asking when I spoke to him again, which hasn't happened yet. So I am not disrespecting anyone purposely. If him and the GF are really still together, then he's the one disrespecting, and that is their problem not mine. If he tells me he's single and he's really not, I won't know if he's lying and I'll go by what he says when all I want here is to take a fun guy to the party where he'll know all my friends and his mear presence will make the whole thing even more fun for everybody who is buds with him.

 

5. And initially I didn't want a date to make my RM jealous at all. I just plain wanted a date. It was when I told my RM about the date a few weeks ago...I was hoping he'd be happy for me, when instead he came back and said "Oh, well I"M taking TWO chicks"...as if he thinks we're playing some kind of game. That was when I started wondering if HE is the one who is jealous. If he's not, who cares, we've been friends for 10 years and that won't change. But I don't why he felt the need to brag to me about his "dates" instead of just saying "that's cool, Jane, it should be a fun time".