Island Girl Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 Well ironically I got an email from some lady today who preaches about dating without drama and she says that when two people get together they are on the same wavelength. But over the course of time the two people grow and if they grow at the same speed then it's a good relationship. But if one person achieves much more growth than their counterpart then they outgrow that person. But then they are more emotionally sound for their next relationship. Sounds like a bunch of psycho-babbly rah rah to me...you? Yep -- psycho babble. Bullsh*t. lots of times people who get together are mismatched from the start they just ignore the signs. She's full of crap.
Author amaysngrace Posted April 20, 2007 Author Posted April 20, 2007 Well in a lot of ways I've grown since I met him. Not because of him. Just because I did. Natural progression I guess. But he stayed the same. This has been clear to me for a while now, not just cause the lady said it. I've thought it for a while now. Before today. Way. And secondtonone, I don't think you're a frog. I think she's the frog. She sounds mean and rotten and selfish. Who'd want to be with her anyway? Did she really turn on you in less than a day?
Author amaysngrace Posted April 20, 2007 Author Posted April 20, 2007 Everybody relax... pelagic is here. Oh boy...I wet my pants (but in a good way)
2ndIINone Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 Did she really turn on you in less than a day?more or less. Our history was weird though. We had met in 96'... her coming off a relationship.... me off and on with one. So she and I hung out for a couple years off and on... mostly her pursuing me, mentioning 'more' and me having trouble deciding letting go of my ex. She moved away to be with someone else eventually but remained in close contact with me via phone, email... she'd still continued to bitc# about her new boyfriend all while dropping more hints of 'us'. This went on for years. Finally, during one of her breakups with him.... I dropped everything and opened up to her. She opened up back.... expressing her feelings as well. But then got quickly distant 2-3 days..... apparently 'found Jesus' at a retreat during those 3 days... called me afterwards to say she's sorry for telling me she 'had feelings' for me and that she decided she was gonna marry her boyfriend. (Praise Jesus!) She disappeared. UGH! (didn't even know they were engaged.) Contact started up again when her marriage went bad... during ALL of her seperations... she would call on me. (emotional tampon) Still expressing her feelings to me... in subtle hints. Of course she would always get back with her husband after I built her self asteem up. Needless to say. She's divorced now, one year. She and I havent really talked like we use to since her divorce... she did try and make a comeback, but I told her I didn't want her as a parttime best friend. It was either all or nothing. She decided on nothing. Funny, as I write this I realize today marks her one year divorce day. I may have to send another random text... ( It keeps her ego filled and her manipulation away)
Author amaysngrace Posted April 20, 2007 Author Posted April 20, 2007 Funny, as I write this I realize today marks her one year divorce day. I may have to send another random text... ( It keeps her ego filled and her manipulation away) Please don't call her. It'll make you grow warts. It'll make all her most rottenest, most horriblest thoughts of you become firm in her mind. She'll think "poor, pathetic secondtonone. he's so into me that my life is more important to him than his own". Please don't do it or I will come grab you up from where you are and bring you here to New Jersey and bury you in the sand! And maybe tickle your feet while I'm in the process.
2ndIINone Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 Well, truth be it known.... I kinda know the rules and how 'they/she' thinks... yes, she would think poor 2nd.... which is why I like to randomly send a message of hello... Ya see... I already know that if I don't.... then the calls/emails will start comin' in strong and mess up everything I got goin' on right now. Soooo, if I can send a message every once in awhile... knowing I'm not gonna get response then it serves it's purpose. Keeping her away. Kinda like an apple a day... keeps the doc away.... works the same with texts and exes.... Sad, I know, but I'm soooo emotionally 'over it/her' that I can't afford to get tied back into that mess... I was always pretty weak when that phone would ring... but now I could honestly care less.
Author amaysngrace Posted April 20, 2007 Author Posted April 20, 2007 Well, truth be it known.... I kinda know the rules and how 'they/she' thinks... yes, she would think poor 2nd.... which is why I like to randomly send a message of hello... Ya see... I already know that if I don't.... then the calls/emails will start comin' in strong and mess up everything I got goin' on right now. Soooo, if I can send a message every once in awhile... knowing I'm not gonna get response then it serves it's purpose. Keeping her away. Kinda like an apple a day... keeps the doc away.... works the same with texts and exes.... Sad, I know, but I'm soooo emotionally 'over it/her' that I can't afford to get tied back into that mess... I was always pretty weak when that phone would ring... but now I could honestly care less. Dude I don't get your logic. Guess what? I didn't break. I didn't bend. Granted I listened to the CD like an idiot but I didn't falter. He even left messages on my phone. I haven't listened to them yet. And you know what? Today I met someone who interests me. Just like that. An optician named Brad. All because my son broke his glasses in a day. We go back on Monday and he told me to ask for him, he gave me his card, instead of the girl I usually deal with. It will probably amount to nothing. But that's okay. At least it's hopeful and it's positive and it's looking ahead, rather than looking back. Do you like the mental torment you put yourself through or what???
2ndIINone Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 Do you like the mental torment you put yourself through or what??? hehehe... it's only torment IF I was emotionally attached. But, I've known her and her ways... for over 10 years. AND SHE WASN'T EVEN AN EX! Now, my ex... yes, she still pursues me 3 years later.... IF I don't send a message. It's all very strange.... in other words... to avoid them pursuing me... I play as if I'm still not 'over' them... keeps their egos boosted and far away. It's like ...ummm breaking NC on purpose to keep them from lookin' for me 2 months from now.
alphamale Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 Is that breaking contact? Should I just do nothing? Would that be rude? Yes, Yes, No
Author amaysngrace Posted April 20, 2007 Author Posted April 20, 2007 hehehe... it's only torment IF I was emotionally attached. But, I've known her and her ways... for over 10 years. AND SHE WASN'T EVEN AN EX! Now, my ex... yes, she still pursues me 3 years later.... IF I don't send a message. It's all very strange.... in other words... to avoid them pursuing me... I play as if I'm still not 'over' them... keeps their egos boosted and far away. It's like ...ummm breaking NC on purpose to keep them from lookin' for me 2 months from now. It sounds kind of twisted to me. Especially the part where you say your ex thinks you're a frog. Why would you want to leave this impression on her? Now I'm intrigued...
Author amaysngrace Posted April 20, 2007 Author Posted April 20, 2007 Yes, Yes, No Gee thanks Alpha...your wisdom made all the difference in the world to my decision-making process...NOT! Maybe you could've been here yesterday?
annabelle75 Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 It sounds kind of twisted to me. Especially the part where you say your ex thinks you're a frog. Why would you want to leave this impression on her? Now I'm intrigued... I'm completely fascinated by 2nd's logic. In some strange way I understand it. One of my closest friends back in college had a little bit of a crush on me, but we never dated becasue I wasn't interested in anything more than just being friends. After college I moved out of state and I occasionally see him when I go back to visit. Its kind of funny but I can honestly say that every now and again if I realize I haven't heard from him in a few months I call him or send an email berating him for dissappearing on me. On the other hand if I get an email, text or call from him every now and then I don't feel the need to try to contact him and see whats going on. It may seem twisted and some what perverse, but I think I get it. yikes.
2ndIINone Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 On the other hand if I get an email, text or call from him every now and then I don't feel the need to try to contact him and see whats going on.waahlaa! Amazing- if you go NC with this guy.... what's going to happen??? He's gonna get relentless and pursue you harder right? Well, what if he wanted you to stay in NC?? What would he have to do? Most likely he would have to send you an email or text every so often and you would do what?? Ignore it.... right? If HE went NC too.... then eventually you'd break.... everyone does.
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