pelagicsands Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Wow. This gives me a huge inferiority complex. I don't have even one of the "good points" in the list above. You must be joking. By the way, what sort of silhouette does your arse cast?
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Whoa! Did I start this? All you hot chicks are starting to get down just from participating in this thread? THIS is definitely an unintended consequence of coming here to vent. You all need to list 10 good things about yourselves. Or if you want to collaborate and do a group list, then give me 25. NOW you see what you did??!! I'm afraid I wouldn't be contributing much to the group list. I just got back from a run. I'm making a bit of progress on this stuff today. Back to where I was. Your turn! I bet the run made you feel better. An organic, natural high.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 You must be joking. By the way, what sort of silhouette does your arse cast? It's the shape of a quadrilateral. Happy?
pelagicsands Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 PelmtragicShaglnds needs to come in here and give you a boost. An organic, natural high. That's me, all right.
VirtualInsanity Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Funny, when this post started, I was feeling pretty good, now I am feeling exactly like Johan ! Kind off like I made all the wrong choices, took all the wrong paths. I feel really lonely, and worst of all, i don't have the energy or desire to go out there and " meet people". It's rubbing off. I felt like that today. I even wrote this depression post in my blog. Poured my little heart on it & now I feel like crap. Even worse was me turning on tv & almost every movie channel had a romantic on.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Off topic: VirtualInsanity, I like your signature quote.
sb129 Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 How do you know Johan is goodlooking TTSP? Is he really really really good-looking? Can he do blue steel?
VirtualInsanity Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Off topic: VirtualInsanity, I like your signature quote. Thanks. I like it too.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 How do you know Johan is goodlooking TTSP? Is he really really really good-looking? Can he do blue steel? I just happen to know. Yes, he is very good-looking. What's blue steel?
sb129 Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Ex-squeeze me? is there something you guys need to GET OUT IN THE OPEN? Have you seen zoolander? Watch it, its silly but funny, and you will get blue steel.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Ex-squeeze me? is there something you guys need to GET OUT IN THE OPEN? Ha ha!! No, sb129, there's nothing we need to get out in the open. Don't worry, I'm not really his type, so he's very much single and very much unattached. Are you single, sb129? If you want to put a feeler across to Johan, I can help you
melodymatters Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Well I, like most of you here, can say nice things about myself, and for the most part believe them : yeah, I'm smart, attractive, self sufficient, good cook, loving person....It's my own spirit thats in tatters, and I don't know how to mend that. How DO you go about getting your enthusiasm back ? Thats my question.
dropdeadlegs Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Well I, like most of you here, can say nice things about myself, and for the most part believe them : yeah, I'm smart, attractive, self sufficient, good cook, loving person....It's my own spirit thats in tatters, and I don't know how to mend that. How DO you go about getting your enthusiasm back ? Thats my question. Has something recently happened? I'm confused.
serial muse Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 It's ironic that that relationship made a huge difference in how felt. Because she was always so critical of me and difficult to be with. I guess having her doubt me so much kind of took that job off my shoulders. She strengthened me. That was such a crazy relationship. I have to say though, that I know this has been a pretty deep-seated part of my personality. I can remember when it started. I'm not sure why I chose this at the time, because there is not much reward to it. I just think I didn't know what I was really doing. I'd love to go back and choose another path. Oh, no. Adding to your worst fears about yourself may have created a kind of false clarity in your mind, because yeah, she took the work away of looking for things about yourself to be mad at and despise. Temporarily, I suppose, it must have seemed like you were in tune - you instinctively trusted her opinion of you precisely because it confirmed what you already feared and suspected. But her words didn't make your fears true then, and they don't confirm them now. And for God's sake, none of that strengthened you. It just mirrored that part of you, and gave power to it. That doesn't make any of it true. I hope you'll try to do the homework of finding things you like about you - because, as simple as it sounds, that kind of exercise does make a difference not only in terms of who you attract, but also in terms of who you're attracted to. Ultimately, you want to choose someone who is the kind of person who mirrors good things, and doesn't try to push away their own sadness by focusing inordinately on your fears and faults.
Author johan Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 Adding to your worst fears about yourself may have created a kind of false clarity in your mind, because yeah, she took the work away of looking for things about yourself to be mad at and despise. Temporarily, I suppose, it must have seemed like you were in tune - you instinctively trusted her opinion of you precisely because it confirmed what you already feared and suspected. But her words didn't make your fears true then, and they don't confirm them now. And for God's sake, none of that strengthened you. It just mirrored that part of you, and gave power to it. That doesn't make any of it true. To be honest, serial, it wasn't like that. Because I had to stand up to her scrutiny I actually did really start liking myself. I battled against her stupid accusations, because none of them were aligned with any of the things I criticize myself for. They were her inventions based on her own irrational fears of what could happen. She was always MUCH more concerned with my betrayal of her not because she feared losing me, but because it would be an act against her. And her motivation was mostly defense and prevention. I ended up rising above much of the crap she brought into the relationship, and I had to convince myself I was a good, honest person. I really let go of much of what is bothering me now and has for so long, because none of that was a concern for her. In fact, she seemed to accept those aspects of me without question. If she actually loved me, then those things were not really problems. What were problems were the things she falsely suspected. That all caused me to break up with her in the end. A wasteful, sad, self-fulfilling prophesy. I hope you'll try to do the homework of finding things you like about you - because, as simple as it sounds, that kind of exercise does make a difference not only in terms of who you attract, but also in terms of who you're attracted to. Ultimately, you want to choose someone who is the kind of person who mirrors good things, and doesn't try to push away their own sadness by focusing inordinately on your fears and faults. I know. I am trying. In the past day or so, I have gotten back in touch with some things I can actually be proud of about myself. Some more rational beliefs. (This thread made that happen much faster.) I was taking that one girl's attitude as evidence of what any girl would think of me. It wasn't fair, but I sort of think I did let myself down on that night. But maybe it's a good thing that I had a crummy night with her. Whatever I learned might actually be useful when I meet someone I relate to better. Or maybe she also had a problem that night, and I'll find out I can relate to her. Who knows. To be honest, it seems like her attitude was pretty bad. Even her friends seemed a little annoyed with her.
Teddy and Jane Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 1. I think she sensed your down attitude and it was hard for her to have fun. 2. I think you are hung up on your ex, and she instinctively sensed that on the date. From reading this thread, you place a lot of importance on how your ex felt about you. You are letting her dictate your self-worth. You are not ready to date yet.
Author johan Posted April 23, 2007 Author Posted April 23, 2007 1. I think she sensed your down attitude and it was hard for her to have fun. 2. I think you are hung up on your ex, and she instinctively sensed that on the date. From reading this thread, you place a lot of importance on how your ex felt about you. You are letting her dictate your self-worth. You are not ready to date yet. As far as 1 goes, you probably have a point. As far as 2 goes, you're wrong. Not that my ex didn't matter to me, but I don't really have any desire to go back to her.
sb129 Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Ha ha!! No, sb129, there's nothing we need to get out in the open. Don't worry, I'm not really his type, so he's very much single and very much unattached. Are you single, sb129? If you want to put a feeler across to Johan, I can help you No not single, and on the wrong continent, but thanks anyway! Johan, you seem to be feeling a bit better today. 8, 9 and 10 still need filling in..
pelagicsands Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 8, 9 and 10 still need filling in.. Give him a chance... he's probably exhausted after the first 7.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 Give him a chance... he's probably exhausted after the first 7. :lmao: That was a true gem, Pinky.
serial muse Posted April 23, 2007 Posted April 23, 2007 To be honest, serial, it wasn't like that. Because I had to stand up to her scrutiny I actually did really start liking myself. I battled against her stupid accusations, because none of them were aligned with any of the things I criticize myself for. They were her inventions based on her own irrational fears of what could happen. She was always MUCH more concerned with my betrayal of her not because she feared losing me, but because it would be an act against her. And her motivation was mostly defense and prevention. I ended up rising above much of the crap she brought into the relationship, and I had to convince myself I was a good, honest person. I really let go of much of what is bothering me now and has for so long, because none of that was a concern for her. In fact, she seemed to accept those aspects of me without question. If she actually loved me, then those things were not really problems. What were problems were the things she falsely suspected. That all caused me to break up with her in the end. A wasteful, sad, self-fulfilling prophesy. You know what, I'm so glad to hear you say that. I'm really sorry if I misinterpreted; but it's good to hear that you can see yourself with clarity (and put aside the crippling self-deprecation) when you really need to. Bravo! I know. I am trying. In the past day or so, I have gotten back in touch with some things I can actually be proud of about myself. Some more rational beliefs. (This thread made that happen much faster.) I was taking that one girl's attitude as evidence of what any girl would think of me. It wasn't fair, but I sort of think I did let myself down on that night. But maybe it's a good thing that I had a crummy night with her. Whatever I learned might actually be useful when I meet someone I relate to better. Or maybe she also had a problem that night, and I'll find out I can relate to her. Who knows. To be honest, it seems like her attitude was pretty bad. Even her friends seemed a little annoyed with her. Eh...I dunno, of course, because I wasn't there...but it sounds to me like she just wasn't all that. I think our Johan can do better. I guess I'm just not seeing how you let yourself down...
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