Teddy and Jane Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 By the way, my screenname is in honor of a cool couple I know.
pelagicsands Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 I didn't state how important looks were. Really? She's too hot for him. You seem to be implying that looks are "it." Haven't you ever heard of dating 'out of your league' or she's/he's out of your league? Perhaps you would like to elaborate on what that means to you. I swear Not to worry - those words just get filled in with stars.
Teddy and Jane Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 I didn't state that looks were important in a relationship itself, just pointing out that if this woman is really hot it could be hurting the original poster's self esteem. I already elaborated on the "out of your league" thing. Also it's been posted numerous times on this website before. Do a search if you need further elaboration.
Author johan Posted April 22, 2007 Author Posted April 22, 2007 I never discussed finances or possessions with her. I also think she's cute, but she's not out of my league looks-wise. Not in my opinion. She might feel differently. What I'm going through has very little to do with her. I'll be glad when I get this out of my system.
pelagicsands Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 I already elaborated on the "out of your league" thing. Wow, you really seem to have a problem with motorcycles. I can't see how having powerful vibrations between your thighs could be a bad thing. To each their own, I suppose.
sb129 Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Your "self-talk" is important because it ultimately determines who you are and what you become. In all areas of life. You're driving the Johan ship. I liked this post. Hey Johan. You still didn't tell me about your good points! I can see that you are articulate and funny. Thats a good start. DDL- I have been to the bottom the the self esteem pit too. I think most of the people on LS who I admire and definitely some of those who give the best advice have too, whether they admit it or not. T&J- your advice screams "shallow" to me, and you are huffing and blowing about people not being able to read, when clearly you haven't read Johans posts very well yourself. This has got nothing to do with how HOT the girl is, or what he said on the date, its about how Johan feels about himself. The date was merely a catalyst for his feelings to come to the surface.
Bogun Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Johan, why dont you and "this too shall pass" hook up? You both want to.....admit it!
bab Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Hey Johan, Think about the people you care about. What about them make you care about them. Is it because they've got the thing to offer that you feel they don't? Or, is it just that they are great people? Don't assume because you don't have whatever it is that you think people want from you that they don't value you. Hey, the people here on LS value you, and we've never met you.
VirtualInsanity Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Besides feeling sorry for yourself, what's bothering you? I know something is. Sounds like you've given up.
Author johan Posted April 22, 2007 Author Posted April 22, 2007 I liked this post. Hey Johan. You still didn't tell me about your good points! I can see that you are articulate and funny. Thats a good start. Arggh... I hate homework. I actually did do some thinking and came up with some positive aspects of myself. I just need to get out there and put those theories to the test. I'm facing a hell of a boring day today, all by myself. I have to work and prep for a series of huge meetings this week. I'd rather spend the time laughing and goofing off with a cute girl, but I can't, and there don't seem to be many of those available to me right now. It's a nice spring day though. I'd like to be out in the sun.
sb129 Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Do you have a laptop? Take your prep outside if you do. Come on dude, it can't be that hard to think of good things about yourself. If anyone flames you I will flame them back. Let start 1. Funny
pelagicsands Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 If anyone flames you I will flame them back. So... if I want to get to Johan, then I need to go through you? I'm up for that. 1. Funny I wanted that one. Now what am I going to say?? 2. Loyal
Storyrider Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 I thought number one was the four vehicles? Oh, well... 1. Funny 2. Loyal 3. Four vehicles 4. Pelagic likes him, which must mean he is hot 5. Good writer 6. Kind, with an occasional biting sarcasm 7. Good at math, I'm assuming OK Johan... 8. 9. 10.
pelagicsands Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 I thought number one was the four vehicles? Oh, well... 1. Funny 2. Loyal 3. Four vehicles 4. Pelagic likes him, which must mean he is hot 5. Good writer 6. Kind, with an occasional biting sarcasm 7. Good at math, I'm assuming Sounds pretty much perfect. I want my own helmet, though. OK Johan... 8. 9. 10. What?? You need more??!!
Storyrider Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 How is number 4 a good thing? Well, I guess it doesn't distinguish him as unique, since many of us could claim number 4. But johan seems to be getting a lot of attention today, so at least for the short term, he is it.
melodymatters Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 Funny, when this post started, I was feeling pretty good, now I am feeling exactly like Johan ! Kind off like I made all the wrong choices, took all the wrong paths. I feel really lonely, and worst of all, i don't have the energy or desire to go out there and " meet people". My desires were always simple : find somone who loved me and i them, get a little house, have some friends over once in a while, watch the puppies frolic, save money for mutual goals, take a trip or just rent a movie and eat pizza in bed, just a small but sweet life. And I've ended up with users, losers and abusers. So yeah, I "chose poorly", but now i'm feeling too exhuasted to get back in the game. UGH, I'm sure this will pass, but I need a kick in the butt or an " emotional line of cocaine" to wake me up and get me back in the ring
Trialbyfire Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 UGH, I'm sure this will pass, but I need a kick in the butt or an " emotional line of cocaine" to wake me up and get me back in the ring Know the feeling. Last night's date was...okay...but way too much effort right now...
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 I once climbed out of another prolonged self-hate pit by concluding that if I met someone just like me, I'd be much more forgiving of that person than I am of myself. You probably would. Like personalities form the best relationships (I don't think opposites really attract) and have the best connection, in my opinion. But since it's a mirror-image of yourself, it also means facing some of your issues when correcting / criticizing the other person. It's ironic that that relationship made a huge difference in how felt. Because she was always so critical of me and difficult to be with. I guess having her doubt me so much kind of took that job off my shoulders. She strengthened me. That was such a crazy relationship. I like the way you put that, Johan. That was probably it. Re-stating what I asked before, what is it that you want, in a person and in a relationship? Being with a critical, difficult partner does take the job of self-criticism off your shoulders. But that's only one half. The other half should help you deal with your shortcomings, at least to the point where you are happy with yourself. Of course, that's the ideal situation. I have to say though, that I know this has been a pretty deep-seated part of my personality. I can remember when it started. I'm not sure why I chose this at the time, because there is not much reward to it. I just think I didn't know what I was really doing. I'd love to go back and choose another path. Then go back and choose that path. Nobody's stopping you.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 I'd rather spend the time laughing and goofing off with a cute girl, but I can't, and there don't seem to be many of those available to me right now. That is such an insult!!!! Grrrrr.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 I thought number one was the four vehicles? Oh, well... 1. Funny 2. Loyal 3. Four vehicles 4. Pelagic likes him, which must mean he is hot 5. Good writer 6. Kind, with an occasional biting sarcasm 7. Good at math, I'm assuming OK Johan... 8. 9. 10. 8. Good looking 9. Smart 10. ? Wow. This gives me a huge inferiority complex. I don't have even one of the "good points" in the list above. Except perhaps #5 and #6. But even those are the watery versions of Johan's virtues.
Author johan Posted April 22, 2007 Author Posted April 22, 2007 That is such an insult!!!! Grrrrr. ha ha. I mean there are none HERE. Here in my vicinity. I need proximity! I need spark. I didn't say there were no cute girls anywhere, or even cute interesting girls who make me smile. Don't growl at me!
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 ha ha. I mean there are none HERE. Here in my vicinity. I need proximity! I need spark. I didn't say there were no cute girls anywhere, or even cute interesting girls who make me smile. Don't growl at me! Grrrrrrrrrr. Grrrrrr. Raaaawwwwwwr. Ha. So no cute girls in the vicinity? I don't believe that. All you have to do is step out of the house and you'll get an eyeful I'm not really as cute in comparison (as you know, now), but I can probably make you smile. One out of three ain't that bad. As Storyrider said, count your blessings.
Author johan Posted April 22, 2007 Author Posted April 22, 2007 Funny, when this post started, I was feeling pretty good, now I am feeling exactly like Johan ! Know the feeling. Last night's date was...okay...but way too much effort right now... Wow. This gives me a huge inferiority complex. I don't have even one of the "good points" in the list above. Whoa! Did I start this? All you hot chicks are starting to get down just from participating in this thread? THIS is definitely an unintended consequence of coming here to vent. You all need to list 10 good things about yourselves. Or if you want to collaborate and do a group list, then give me 25. PelmtragicShaglnds needs to come in here and give you a boost. I just got back from a run. I'm making a bit of progress on this stuff today. Back to where I was. Your turn!
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