Princessjesabell Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 I was asked to be married and my orignal reaction as he is bended down on one knee is DONT DO THAT! DO DO THAT! This is what I say to him as his eyes are teared up and wants to know if I will marry him.... Bad sign? I do love my fiance and there are many times I HATE my fiance. There are things he does that I do not agree with, as I am sure there are things I do that he does not agree with... But I am so afraid that this is not what I want for the rest of my life.. we have had so many tribulations since we have been together cheating, and extremely BAD fights, I have left and came back and left and thought I would never come back but somehow, someway I do. He makes me laugh and does have a one of a kind personality that I consider charming and love the little things we do as a couple, simple things like just watching TV together I even cherish, sue to the fact that my friend just got divorced and they never had that type of communication or wanting to spend time with one another they way that my fiance and I do... We never make love, sex is something that causes knots and butterflys in my stomach because I am so scared to ask him AGAIN and hear that he's tired, his knee's hurt maybe later time and time again excuse. I ask and get denied I ask and get rejection... I no longer ask... We have never had the spontaneaty to just jump each other, thats not how we are or how we will ever be...him being spontaneous is not getting caught jackingoff to porn every morning before work. (Yes, I see this as a problem and he will not talk about it and counceling is not an alternative, its his thing/addiction what ever) I am afraid of the term WIFE. To him and most others WIFE= cooking, cleaning, erranding running,grocery shopping taking care of a mans needs... I am up for that on my own terms not when its expected of me. There is no romance NEVER has been NEVER will be...Can I go an entire life without this feeling? With this being said, I am wanting to know outsiders prosepective on my situation... does it seem like we should be married?
corazoncito Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 With this being said, I am wanting to know outsiders prosepective on my situation... does it seem like we should be married? NO!!! Follow your gut and don't do it. This is a disaster from every possible angle. Did you accept his proposal? I know it's hard to call off an engagement, but the earlier you do it, the better. I speak from personal experience. It's hard but you owe it to the both of you.
Bree Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 I agree by no means should you marry this guy. I'd give it 2yrs. tops if you did.
Guest Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 Yep, you heard me. If there are things you don't like about him now, imagine a year down the road when he *officially* stops trying to impress you at all. No fun, dear. No fun at all.
hurting_in_nw Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 This is a disaster from every possible angle. What he said.
Guest Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 Why not just maintain a relationship and see where that goes. Why get married ?? You need to be 100% certain. I don't know how old you are but I don't think anyone under the age of 25 should get married. Maybe even older.
BeachBlonde Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 The fact that you screamed "Don't do it!" as he bended down on one knee instead of being overwhelmed with joy is a good enough reason to not get married to him. If even the THOUGHT of spending the rest of your life with this man doesn't make you happy, do you really think you'll be happy with him once you are married to him?
corazoncito Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 What he said. Actually, I'm a she, but thanks for the vote of support!
sb129 Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 OP- No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no! Is that clear enough for you? If you are this freaked out now, its only going to get worse! Getting married takes about twenty minutes on average. Getting DIVORCED takes ALOT longer, is messy, painful for at least one of the parties, and very very expensive.
quankanne Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 There is no romance NEVER has been NEVER will be...Can I go an entire life without this feeling? the bigger question is, Do I really want to go an entire life with this person without this feeling? your post raises a lot of red flags – cheating, porn, incompatible sexual styles, your initial response to him popping the question – that you really, really need to focus on, not the "He makes me laugh and does have a one of a kind personality that I consider charming and love the little things we do as a couple, simple things like just watching TV together I even cherish" thing. You'll also have that with the person you feel "sure" about, that one who you know you can live without, but would rather make that leap of faith (marriage) with. frankly, the relationship you're describing sounds like a match made in hell, and you're trying hard to close your eyes to that fact. Don't do it, don't marry him. The guy you're meant to be with is out there, but you really need to walk away from this destructive relationship before you'll find him ... just my take on things
Recommended Posts