mark1210 Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 So out of the blue a woman I used to hang out with and had an interest in 5 years ago messages me on my computer last week. Now a little background on her, 5 years ago she was 19 (I was 22) and very wild (drugs, heavy drinking, depression, etc) I pushed her to seek help and she did what I suggested and moved away to her folks to get her life in order. We quit talking after that. Fast forward to present day, after IMing a bit she wants me to come over, I said sure. She was very excited to see me and catch up on old times. She asked if I was seeing anyone and I told her no, I was just dating. She then asked if I still thought she was attractive and if I still had interest in her. Of course, I played it a bit coy and said a lot of time has passed I'd like to find out what all has transpired. Two days later I call and set up a date for this upcoming Friday. Tonight (Wed) she calls saying she needed to ask me a question, I call her back later and she says she "needs my help to cover babysitter costs". I knew she had a child 5 years ago but her asking for me to cover the babysitter costs caught me a bit off guard. My friends tell me I should cancel the date and that I shouldn't be responsible for her child's care since we aren't in a relationship. What are your thoughts? Is this a sign that she purely sees me as a source of financial support? If so, I need to bail pronto. Thanks!
Sand&Water Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 RE: There are many Red Flags in this situation. Where shall I start? I believe deep down, you and her know where each of your intentions lie. A woman just doesn't out of the blue contact a man. This spells out bizarre and manipulative. She wants something out of you -whether it be a sugar daddy, a baby sitter, a lover or a plumber. Plus, her history sounds too complex and exhausting for the average man to handle -unless of course you are an expert at maintaining a healthy relationship with troubled young women. My Advice: No, don't pay for a baby sitter. That is utterly preposterous. Unless you are infatuated with her, then go out with her under the circumstance that she pay for her own baby sitter. Otherwise, don't go out with her. Bail out -make up some sort of crap. She sounds desperate, clingy and unstable. Oh, and are you ready to be a father to her young child at this point in your life? That is not how a woman should approach a man she wants to date. I don't mean to make fun of her or in any way belittle her, but that is just the way I see it. Sand&Water
DanielMadr Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 So out of the blue a woman I used to hang out with and had an interest in 5 years ago messages me on my computer last week. Now a little background on her, 5 years ago she was 19 (I was 22) and very wild (drugs, heavy drinking, depression, etc) I pushed her to seek help and she did what I suggested and moved away to her folks to get her life in order. We quit talking after that. Fast forward to present day, after IMing a bit she wants me to come over, I said sure. She was very excited to see me and catch up on old times. She asked if I was seeing anyone and I told her no, I was just dating. She then asked if I still thought she was attractive and if I still had interest in her. Of course, I played it a bit coy and said a lot of time has passed I'd like to find out what all has transpired. Two days later I call and set up a date for this upcoming Friday. Tonight (Wed) she calls saying she needed to ask me a question, I call her back later and she says she "needs my help to cover babysitter costs". I knew she had a child 5 years ago but her asking for me to cover the babysitter costs caught me a bit off guard. My friends tell me I should cancel the date and that I shouldn't be responsible for her child's care since we aren't in a relationship. What are your thoughts? Is this a sign that she purely sees me as a source of financial support? If so, I need to bail pronto. Thanks! She is nuts. She put up the worst shyt test ever in history of shyt tests (wash her car, help her move furniture etc.). Actually this shyt test is so bad its not even worth passing, b/c it tells pretty much about her. Dont try to save her or anything....just stay away. Run, Forrest, Run.
Author mark1210 Posted April 19, 2007 Author Posted April 19, 2007 Sounds like all signs point to bail, I haven't had her in my life for 5 years so I'm pretty sure I can manage another 5, 10 or more without her Glad to hear my head wasn't lying to me...something did seem a bit amiss. If she can't afford a babysitter I question if she really has the resources to be dating anyways. Any good suggestions on how to bail? I was going to call her and say "On second thought something has came up and I can't afford to pay for a babysitter". I don't want to come across as an a$*hole because that isn't my style, and I don't want to e-mail or text her..that's a pretty low way to break a date in my opinion.
DanielMadr Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 Sounds like all signs point to bail, I haven't had her in my life for 5 years so I'm pretty sure I can manage another 5, 10 or more without her Glad to hear my head wasn't lying to me...something did seem a bit amiss. If she can't afford a babysitter I question if she really has the resources to be dating anyways. Any good suggestions on how to bail? I was going to call her and say "On second thought something has came up and I can't afford to pay for a babysitter". I don't want to come across as an a$*hole because that isn't my style, and I don't want to e-mail or text her..that's a pretty low way to break a date in my opinion. Learn from the masters....women 'Im sorry, you are so nice and charming but my heart stays with other woman.' or flat out ignore her.
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