AngelEyes Posted December 31, 2002 Posted December 31, 2002 Hello everybody. I am a new member to this site, and I have a problem I hope someone can help me out with. I met my sons father about 3 years ago. All around he is a pretty good guy. We recently got back together and married. Now here is my problem. I have always had a low self esteem problem, but until recently it was prettu much under control. I cannot handle being in this relationship. I get jealous of my friends coming over, my husband glancing at another woman, even thinking about who and what he is doing while he is at work. He is a good christian man, and I have never known him to cheat on anyone. When I had our son 2 years ago I gained alot of weight. 120 lbs to be exact. I have lost all of it except for another 40 lbs. I am 23 , he is 30. I am just so scared that he isnt sexually attracted to me, or that he will fall in love with someone else. Help.....
Tony T Posted January 1, 2003 Posted January 1, 2003 There is simply no way we can give you confidence and self esteem on a message board. Perhaps if you lose the remainder of the weight and build more good feelings about yourself, you won't be so insecure.
clia Posted January 3, 2003 Posted January 3, 2003 Exactly what Tony said. It does you no good to sit around feeling jealous and insecure. If these feelings are a result of your weight, get your butt to the gym and work it off. If they are a result of other things, get your butt to a therapist and work through it. You will never have a successful marriage without trust, and if you are constantly insecure, your husband WILL lose interest in you, if he hasn't already. Insecurity is the most unattractive thing on the face of the earth. It tells him that HE is the prize, when in reality, YOU are the prize!
Ally Boo Posted January 3, 2003 Posted January 3, 2003 Do you have reasons to believe that he doesn't find you attractive? Has your sex life diminished? Why don't you just talk to him about how you are feeling. He'd probably be very hurt knowing that you are going through this and not sharing it with him. If your sex life has diminished...it could be bc there is a baby around....you may want to go to your church and get some free counseling. You won't regret it. And if you feel uncomfortable about going to your church, try a friend or family member's church.
Author AngelEyes Posted January 4, 2003 Author Posted January 4, 2003 I am working through it. Our sex life isnt diminished at all, in fact its probably better and more frequent than most people have. I know it isnt him. That it is me. I just have some issues that I need to deal with. My ex boyfriend, the father of my daughter was very verbally abusive. It was 5 years ago when I left him, and this is the first relationship that I have gotten into since then. Over the years when I havent been in a serious relationship, my self-esteem had been very good. It has just been over the last couple of months. I have had the extra weight on for 2 years. I was happy with myself up until I said I do. I guess I am just afraid of being hurt agian. Thanks everyone for trying to help. I am not a huge person. Just healthy. I am 5 foot tall, and 147 lbs. Thats not too bad , is it?
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