Trialbyfire Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 Actually, I am very entertained here. So keep on... Okay. Will do. The irony in this thread is incredibly rich. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 Okay. Will do. The irony in this thread is incredibly rich. Hey TBF....cool wanted to throw my 2 cents in ....lol....good to see you by the way.... Once again I have only read the first and last page to this thread, so forgive the repetition, should it exist in my post.... Many times in my life I have "wanted" revenge, or to get back at another for a wrong done to me....have even ran the revenge thought process many, many times. I have not followed through with any thoughts no matter how bad it was. Even wishing disaster on another is wrong IMO....though still do the "wishing" at times, am changing my mind on that whenever it is thought of these days. I don't feel good about me wishing bad things on another and knew already that I would feel so bad if any thoughts were followed through with. Concerning the ex-situation, the W wanted to take me down. Due to the fact her H cheated many times on her, I was mostlikely taking the fall for all of them....I might add this was an EA....he had had sex with all of the others. The W wrote me many threatening letters and tried to get me fired....all attempts backfiring. I was deemed above reproach in this area due to cutting it off several months earlier and communicating this to my supervisor long before all of this took place. Actually she made herself look extremely bad, and her H will never work at this company again. In the state that I live in there are laws concerning messing with anothers livelihood and had I pursued the stalking and threats, she mostlikely would have lost her job. IMO revenge is never a good thing and can lead to ones own destruction. Link to post Share on other sites
puddleofmud Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 "Fact is, she is not part of my life and I don't care enough about her to put any energy into revenge. I don't even care if she knows what I know or thinks I will tell or whatever. She is gone and I want her to stay gone!" I find this post a great example for any one moving forward: whether it be an OW who thinks about contacting the BS spouse or vise versa, OR any one who feels that looking backwards could move them forward. In my humble opinion: in order to LOVE YOURSELF first and foremost (this is what makes us loving and lovable) one must respect one self FIRST and not fall into needless thoughts about another. NOR should we allow another any significant place in our own healing. Either we choose to own our self healing or we wallow in our tiresome self-loathing and all that self-loathing requires: "what is wrong with me" "why wasn't I enough?" "what did I do to deserve this"??? True, most of us have been victimized and that should never be forgotten. But one either chooses to continue to be a victim or we choose that we are the ones who control us from here. forward. "Would have, could have, should have" is dust in the wind. "WHY did this happen to ME" is dead; buried, in the grave. Integrity and self respect are intact and ever working life-long creeds. It doesn't matter what any one else knows...what matters is what persons of integrity choose to do with it--any one who accepts complacent knowlege about a friend without choosing to be a friend just isn't worth one's friendship--everyone makes mistakes--no one is without so called "sin". Focusing /Concentrating so hardly on another is also a hellish place! So I agree with the previous: should one move forward one must not place importance on any other than one's self and one's self derived worth/integrity. Person's telling on each other are likened to kindergarten antics: "she stole my crayon, he kicked me". Adulthood antics are interesting fodder but mostly kicked under the rug from either party, being a nation of denial, one of sensation and quickly forgotten ear to ear gossip and that no one really gives a sh*t being a nation quickened to boredom. All that matters is how one feels about themselves.... . Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted April 21, 2007 Share Posted April 21, 2007 Person's telling on each other are likened to kindergarten antics: "she stole my crayon, he kicked me". Adulthood antics are interesting fodder but mostly kicked under the rug from either party, being a nation of denial, one of sensation and quickly forgotten ear to ear gossip and that no one really gives a sh*t being a nation quickened to boredom. All that matters is how one feels about themselves.... . Hey Puddle, Your entire post is very well put....I really liked this quote though...used to work with a whole bunch of people that needed a diaper change every 5 min..... it's understandable when under great pressure to act childish, although to continue in that and not try to grow up is not understandable. Now working with a great group of MATURE people....one every once in awhile will act unbecomingly, but is trying to change that.... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 21, 2007 Share Posted April 21, 2007 Hey TBF....cool wanted to throw my 2 cents in ....lol....good to see you by the way.... You too. Good to see you doing so well. It's almost impossible not to go through with the thought process of exacting revenge, when you experience betrayal of trust like this. Whether you choose to go through with it, is a different matter. Link to post Share on other sites
bigblueeyes Posted April 21, 2007 Share Posted April 21, 2007 Not that I believe in God or anything, but I believe there is some sound advice in the Bible. And it says "vengance shall be mine" as in leave it to God to take revenge for you. Why is that sound advice?? Because even if you are blinded by anger and revenge feels good, it is a bit like peeing your pants and once the satisfaction of hurting someone because you are hurt is gone, you have to live with the guilt of doing something wrong. PLUS it is just sooooooo bad for your karma. Rise above revenge, people. It is beneath you. Link to post Share on other sites
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