anna2007 Posted April 18, 2007 Posted April 18, 2007 I need some advice, I was going to by one of those win our ex back books and found this website. I have been in a long term realtionship for about 20 years. He left to get a job in another state, was gone for a couple of years. He eventually ended up coming home. There were a lot of problems at that time work, kids, relationship issues. There was a big blow up and I told him we needed some space, he moved out. At first he was all upset wanting his family back etc.. making promises but not doing anything to make that happen, I was really angry about a lot of things that had gone on. I started going over to see him to see where we stood as a couple. I started getting the song and dance we are not in that type of realtionship now, saying we need to be friends first. To make a long story short I ended up busting his girlfriend coming out of his house, she said that they had been in a relationship for about 3-4 months. I have done all the wrong things since then and probably still am, crying, arguing, guilt, anger etc..since then we have had several huge arguements which only pushed him farther away. I know that things have not been that smooth for them, he tells me I shouldn't worry about it they are just "friends". She wants some type of committment he has slipped and said that he doesn't want anyone to control his life, she has changed her tactics to be cool and is just giving him "advice" to help him, one would be to keep me at arms length. She is younger than me, I am attractive and in decent shape so I can compete on that level but she is feeding his ego and sleeping with him. She admitted that she thinks he still loves me but he is in denial, this is due to the fact he still sees me or calls me (for stupid stuff) everyday. The relationship has been going on for about 4 1/2 months, in the begining I do not think very much but in the last 2 1/2 almost every day. I am devastated at this point on how to turn things around, everyone keeps telling me he has all the cards right now you can't make him do anything he does not want to do, she has the upper hand becuase she is giving him "advice". I love him and do not want to lose him but I have no clue how to play this game. How can I win at this war when I can't even get on the battlefield?
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