needing some support today

[annabelle75]

Its been about a month since my break-up. I can honestly say I didn’t expect to feel they way I do now. When I first came here I was so sad, so hurt and so lost. I couldn’t understand how some one could so coldly turn off their feelings. I felt so abandoned. I don’t feel that way anymore. At first I thought that my sense of recovery in such a short period of time after knowing this man for 2 years (yet only dating for three months) was unhealthy or that maybe my feelings for him were shallow. Over the last few days I have put a great deal of thought into why I’ve been able to bounce back more easily than I have in the past. I have realized that unlike in the past I made the choice from the very beginning to accept that the relationship was over. Even though it was painful, I allowed my self to surrender any hope that he would change his mind. I accepted that he no longer wanted to be with me and then let myself mourn the loss.

 

It was so hopelessly painful in the beginning. Some times it seems easier to hold out hope, but I know realize by letting it go it allowed to me to take the positive steps to moving on. I realize that I still have deep feelings for the man that left me, but I know that he wasn’t the right man for me. If he had been, he wouldn’t have left me. Now that I have moved on I have other dating prospects on the horizon (which is kind of exciting), I’ve been going out with my girlfriends more and I’ve stopped obsessing over why things happened the way that they did.

 

Strangely enough, I really believed that he was gone for good. Once I accepted it was over, I believed he would fade from my life and I would never hear from him again. That has not been the case. In fact he has began calling, texting, emailing and IMing me on a regular basis again. What started of as NC on my behalf has become LC by his initiation. I still do not initiate contact but I feel strong enough now to take his calls without being emotionally affected. Last night he IMed me and we talked for nearly an hour. It’s the longest conversation we have had since the break-up. I woke up this morning feeling kind of sad for him. He is very young and I’ve realized that it was because of his immaturity that our relationship ended the way that it did. It is obvious to me now that he now feels a void in his life because of my absence. He misses having some one to talk to that truly cared about him. Although I understand, I can no longer be that crutch for him. He made a choice and now he needs to accept the repercussions and move on.

 

I just want to say thanks to the people here that have been so helpful and supportive. I’m really glad I found this place.

 

P.S. I wanted to include links to the other threads I had started regarding this break up ove the last month. I got a bunch of great advice and want to acknowledge and thank everyone.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t117898/

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t118166/

[Ssheena]

I'm so glad that you are feeling better and it is fantastic that you are able to step back and see and acknowledge all that has gone on and how you have reacted.

 

BRAVO!

[somequestionsplz]

It sounds like this is more about you than him....